關於 a letter from parents to daughter ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

轉載Chenchen Chen fb
🛠《大家來找碴welcome strict proofreader 》

看到Christopher Chen附在獨立觀察的連結，披露日本記者黑木亮著手調查東京知事小池百合子的埃及開羅大學學歴史，所以整理了文章一半的中英對照如下，另外一半預期周末整理好再另外貼新版。

大家可以比較東京知事和她的大貴人(埃及前副首相Dr Hatem)如何促使她主張她1976年確從埃及開羅大學畢業的做法。台灣媒體不敢報導此日本疑似假學歷的新聞，倒是刷了很多東京知事抗疫好棒棒的中文報導－想必是要洗嬰粉的腦「會做事就好了，學歷有什麼重要」哈哈😄⋯⋯

✳️原文連結： https://jbpress.ismedia.jp/articles/-/60643

🔥偽造大學學位的指控困擾東京都知事小池百合子（Vol.4）
Allegations of fake university degree haunt Tokyo Governor Yuriko Koike (vol.4)

💥自從現任東京都知事小池百合子（Yuriko Koike）於1992年成為國會議員以來，一直有謠言流傳稱，小池百合子（Koike）文飾美化她的學歷。
Ever since the incumbent Governor of Tokyo, Yuriko Koike became a Member of Parliament in 1992, rumors have been circulating that Koike embellished her academic credentials.

小池聲稱自己曾自開羅大學畢業，但是如果以阿拉伯語為母語的人去聽她的阿拉伯語，那麼她公開身為開羅大學畢業生的學歷，似乎就顯得更加可疑了。
Koike claims to have graduated from Cairo University but if an Arabic speaker listens to her Arabic, her published academic credentials as a Cairo University graduate seems more than dubious.

[我有]強有力的證據可以證明她偽造學歷，例如由室友提供的證詞－有紀錄片可查的證詞；小池的自相矛盾的說法表明，儘管第一年不及格，她仍然在四年之內畢業，她的初階程度阿拉伯語，以及關於畢業論文的謊言，和她拒絕向東京都議會提交畢業文件的頑強行為。
There are strong evidence about her fake academic credentials such as testimony by the flatmate supported by documentary evidence, Koike's self-contradictory statement in her book to have graduated in four years despite failing her first year, her rudimentary Arabic, her lie about the graduation thesis and her stubbornness in refusing to submit her graduation documents to the Tokyo Metropolitan Assembly.

身為一個通曉阿拉伯語並從埃及大學（開羅美國大學的中東研究專業）畢業的人，我自有一種任務感，因此我決定對這些指控進行調查。 經過兩年的調查，我找不到任何證據，甚至沒有一絲一毫的最低線索，可以證明小池是從開羅大學畢業的。
Feeling a sense of duty as someone who learnt Arabic and graduated from an Egyptian university (MA, Middle East Studies from the American University in Cairo), I decided to investigate the allegations. After two years of investigation, I could not find any evidence, nor even the slightest hint that Koike graduated from Cairo University.

在這個共由六大部組成的文章中，我詳細介紹了我的調查結果。這裡是第四部的內容：
In this six-part article, I present the results of my investigation in detail.Here is the fourth part of it;

💥小池有符合[埃及大學]轉學資格嗎？
Was Koike eligible to transfer?

"小池在她的書中和其他地方聲稱，她於1972年10月開學以一年級（新鮮人）生身分進入開羅大學。
Koike claims in her books and other places that she entered Cairo University as a first year student (freshman) in October 1972.

但是，她室友在＂假簡歷”紀錄片中說：“小池是於1973年10月以二年級學生身分進入開羅大學。
However, in the ""Fake CV"" the flatmate says, ""Koike entered Cairo University in October 1973 as a second year student.

「小池高興地對我說：“我父親先請當時的哈特姆博士，當時也是埃及副首相，還兼任文化和信息部長，依據我在關西學院大學－是一間日本兵庫縣的私立大學－所上課的幾個月[學程]，加上另外在開羅美國大學的上語言課程的幾個月，一起調整合併當成是我在開羅大學就讀的第一學年[學程時間]。」
Koike happily told me ‘My father asked Dr. Hatem, then Egypt's Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Culture and Information, to swap my few months at Kwansei Gakuin University, a private university in Hyogo prefecture, and a few months at the language course at the American University in Cairo for the first year at Cairo University. ‘

「哈特姆博士接受了這一要求。此外，我的學雜費和申請費全免除了。 」
‘Dr. Hatem accepted the request. In addition, my tuition and admission fees have been waived’ .

這顯然是寫在室友1972年11月19日給她在日本母親的信中的。根據“假簡歷”該部分陳述的內容，她(室友)大部分信都附有信件日期和郵戳。 如果是這樣，他們這些人都將會被埃及法院起訴。
This is apparently written in the flatmate’s letter to her mother in Japan dated 19 November 1972. According to the ""Fake CV"" most of her letters were dated and postmarked. If so, they will be admissible to court."

呈現在“假簡歷”的內容中，含當時也正在埃及另一所大學就讀的另一名日本女性，她說，她對小池當時可以轉入開羅大學二年級就讀感到驚訝。 我(作者：黑木亮)所採訪過的另一位開羅大學的日本畢業生也記得：小池當年是[直接]轉入開羅大學二年級。
In the ""Fake CV"" another Japanese woman who was attending another university in Egypt at the time says she was surprised that Koike had transferred in the second year at Cairo University. Another Japanese graduate of Cairo University whom I interviewed also remembered that Koike had transferred to the second year."

然而，轉學到包括開羅大學在內的埃及國立大學訂有嚴格的規定。為了進行轉學，學生必須在另一所大學獲得與埃及國立大學課程相同或相似的內容和學習時數的學分，並且必須獲得一定程度的成績。 開羅大學轉學中心辦公室向我證實了這一點。
However, strict rules are in place to transfer to Egypt's state universities, including Cairo University. In order to transfer, a student must have earned credits at another university with the same or similar content and number of hours as the Egyptian state university’s curriculum and must have earned a certain number of grades. This was confirmed to me by the Central Transfers Office of Cairo University.

例如，在2016-17學年，如果學生希望：
－轉學到工程或醫學學院，則必須從其他大學獲得至少imtiyaaz（優秀）成績。
－轉學實務研究學院，則必須從其他大學獲得至少jaiid jiddab(非常好)的成績。
－轉學理論學習研究學院，則必須從其他大學獲得至少jaiid (好)的成績。
In the case of the 2016-17 academic year, for example, students are required to have at least imtiyaaz (excellent) grade from other university if the student wishes to transfer to the Faculty of Engineering or Medicine and at least jaiid jiddan (very good) grade in the case of faculties of practical study and at least jaiid (good) grade for those of theoretical study.

前面如曾經提到的記者，達莉亞·施貝爾（Dalia Shibel）這樣告訴我：“在埃及，國立大學和私立大學是兩個完全不同的系統。即使您在開羅的美國大學學習了10年並獲得了必要的學分，您還是必須從開羅(國立)大學的一年級學生重新開始。這是我國的法律”。 因此，像小池這樣沒有在另一所大學讀完一年（也沒有獲得任何學分）的人是完全不可能被核准轉學的。
The aforementioned journalist Dalia Shibel told me that ""In Egypt state universities and private universities are two completely different systems. Even if you study at the American University in Cairo for 10 years obtaining necessary credits, you have to start as a first year student in Cairo University. This is the law of our country"". Therefore it is totally impossible that a person like Koike who has not finished a year at another university (and has not earned any credits) would be allowed to transfer."

小池最多只在關西學院大學學習了幾個月。 她在開羅的美國大學CASA那裡學習阿拉伯語只是一所語言學校，不提供任何學分或學位。 如果像一些日本人指出的那樣，小池真果真是在1973年轉入開羅大學第二年級的話，那不過是欺詐性的轉學而已。 這意味著她從一開始就沒有資格畢業。
Koike only attended Kwansei Gakuin University for several months at most. CASA at the American University in Cairo where she learnt Arabic is just a language school and does not offer any credits or degrees. If, as some Japanese people point out, Koike actually transferred to the second year at Cairo University in 1973, that is nothing but a fraudulent transfer. That means she was not eligible for graduation from the beginning.

💥關於小池入學許可的問題並沒有得到答案
No answer to the question about Koike’s admittance

2019年，有51人因以慈善機構樂捐名義為幌子，賄賂美國一個組織而受到起訴，該組織通過提升名人和其他人的孩子的SAT（大學才能測驗）分數，以欺詐手段允許他們的子女因此能夠進入著名的大學。
In 2019, 51 people were prosecuted in the United States for paying bribes under the guise of charity to an organization that allows celebrities and others to increase their children's SAT (college aptitude test) scores and fraudulently admit them to prestigious universities.

其中一位女演員費利西蒂·霍夫曼（Felicity Huffman）曾出演電視劇《欲望師奶(台灣翻譯)》，被判處14天監禁，並於去年10月在加利福尼亞州的女性監獄中被監禁。 霍夫曼的女兒索菲亞（Sophia）尚未上大學，據報導他將重考SAT。
One of them, actress Felicity Huffman, who starred in the TV drama Desperate Housewives, was sentenced to 14 days in prison and was incarcerated last October in a women's prison in California. Huffman's daughter Sophia has not enrolled in college and is reported to be retaking the SAT.

斯坦福大學以’非合法入學申請’為由，開除一名中國學生，原因在於他的父母為了可以濫用體育贊助(入學)名額，使他得以註冊該校學習課程，向該(同一)組織支付了650萬美元。
Stanford University expelled a Chinese student, whose parents paid $6.5 million to the organization for misusing a sports endorsement slot to enroll in the program, citing irregularities in submissions.

由於小池似乎未達到轉學入埃及國立大學的要求，因此我致信小池，詢問小池是在1972年還是1973年被錄取，但未得到任何答复（有關我詢問的信件內容，以及小池回應的所有完整文件，將在此報告的稍後部分中顯示）。
As Koike does not appear to have fulfilled the requirements for transferring to a state university in Egypt, I sent a letter to Koike, to ask whether she was admitted in 1972 or 1973 but received no response (the full text of my questions to and response from Koike will appear later in this report).

開羅大學是阿拉伯世界著名的大學之一，醫學，工程學，經濟和政治學係有許多優秀的埃及學生。 但是，該校在全球地位並不是很高。
Cairo University is one of the prominent universities in the Arab world and there are many excellent Egyptian students in the Faculties of Medicine, Engineering, and Economics and Political Science. However, its global standing is not very high.

在英國Quacquarelli Symonds Ltd.發布的2020年QS世界大學排名中，開羅大學在全球排名521-530，在埃及排名第二，與日本的熊本大學和長崎大學相當。 埃及最好的大學是開羅的美國大學（私立和美國認可大學），在世界上排名第395（與日本神戶大學並列）。 埃及排名第三的是艾因沙姆斯大學，亞歷山大大學和阿修特大學（所有國立大學），在世界範圍內排名第801-1000。
In the 2020 edition of the QS World University Rankings published by Quacquarelli Symonds Ltd. in the United Kingdom, Cairo University ranks 521-530 in the world and second in Egypt, on par with Kumamoto University and Nagasaki University in Japan. The best university in Egypt is the American University in Cairo (private and American-accredit university) which ranks 395th in the world (tied with Kobe University in Japan). Third place in Egypt are Ain Shams University, Alexandria University, and Assiut University (all state universities) which rank 801-1000th in the world.

💥小池與Abdel-Kader Hatem博士的關係
Koike’s Connections with Dr. Abdel-Kader Hatem

協助小池進行了“可能是欺詐性轉學＂的埃及政客的名字出現在“假經歷”這部分的內容中。 這個室友證明，小池在1973年通過著名的埃及政治家阿卜杜勒·卡德爾·哈特姆博士的關係轉入開羅大學二年級。
The name of an Egyptian politician who assisted Koike's possible ""fraudulent transfer"" appears in the ""Fake CV"". The flatmate testifies that Koike transferred to the second grade at Cairo University in 1973 through the connections of Dr. Abdel- Kader Hatem, a prominent Egyptian politician."

Hatem於1917年生於亞歷山大。他畢業於軍事學院和開羅大學。 他參與了1952年的埃及革命（是一個推翻君主制的政變，次年埃及共和國成立），當時他是在由Gamal Abdel Nasser中校領導的自由軍運動中的一名年輕成員。
Hatem was born in Alexandria in 1917. A graduate of the Military Academy and Cairo University. He participated in the Egyptian revolution in 1952 (a coup to overthrow the monarchy which was followed by the foundation of the republic the following year) as a young member of the Free Officers Movement led by then Lieutenant Colonel Gamal Abdel Nasser.

他於1957年成為國民議會議員，總統府副部長，1959年廣播電視國務部長，1962年文化部長，國家指導和旅遊部長，1971年副首相兼文化信息部長 ，曾任全國專業委員會常務理事兼埃及-日本友好協會主席。 他於2015年去世，享年97歲。
He became a member of the National Assembly in 1957, Deputy Minister in the Presidential Office, Minister of State for Radio and Television in 1959, Minister of Culture and Minister of National Guidance and Tourism in 1962, Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Culture and Information in 1971, then longtime General Supervisor of the Specialized National Councils and President of the Egyptian-Japanese Friendship Association. He died in 2015 at the age of 97.

1974年2月，當時掌控文化和信息的副首相，哈特姆，以正式外賓的身份訪問了日本，並會見了日本首相田中角榮，副首相三木武夫，並參觀了皇宮與天皇會面。 1982年，他被日本政府授予＂旭日東昇頭等大勳章”。
In February 1974, Hatem, who was then the Deputy Prime Minister in charge of Culture and Information visited Japan as an official guest and met Japan’s Prime Minister Kakuei Tanaka, Deputy Prime Minister Takeo Miki and visited the Imperial Palace to meet the Emperor. In 1982 he was awarded the Grand Cordon of the Order of the Rising Sun, First Class by the Japanese government.

"在1974年Hatem訪日之際，日本駐埃及大使Tsutomu Wada在1974年2月12日給日本外交大臣的正式電報中寫道：“埃及政治的最新發展，哈特姆副首相的職位（曾擔任首相的代理者）得到了進一步鞏固，正如我經常報導的那樣，埃及副首相在6名媒體記者的陪同下訪問日本，這是非同尋常的，這清楚地表明了哈特姆博士的權力，並表明了他認為這次訪問的重要性。”
On the occasion of Hatem's visit to Japan in 1974 the Japanese Ambassador to Egypt Tsutomu Wada wrote in an official telegram dated 12 February 1974 to the Minister of Foreign Affairs of Japan ""As a result of recent developments in Egyptian politics the position of Deputy Prime Minister Hatem (who had been acting as a substitute for the Prime Minister) has been further strengthened as I have often reported. It is remarkable for an Egyptian Deputy Prime Minister to visit Japan accompanied by 6 media reporters and that clearly shows Dr. Hatem’s power. It also shows how important he thinks this visit is."""

"哈特姆的阿拉伯文傳記《阿卜杜勒·卡德·哈特姆日記-十月戰爭政府首腦》於2016年在開羅出版（由埃及記者易卜拉欣·阿卜杜勒·阿齊茲撰寫）指出，哈特姆與中曾根康弘保持著良好的關係， 自1954年起擔任日本前首相，中曾根將當時的在校學生，小池百合子－他朋友的女兒，介紹給哈特姆，哈特姆照顧小池，小池稱哈特姆為教父，並給了小池零用錢， 每月14埃及鎊。(小池在《長袖和服的金字塔攀登》第250頁上寫道，她每月從埃及政府獲得12英鎊的獎學金）。
🌐Chenchen註：Furisode是日本年輕未婚女性穿著的最正式的和服風格－以長袖為其特色，小池應是以Furisode做為自己的意象代名詞，唯美的描繪她以一介日本年輕嬌嬌女，如何在陌生的中東環境－埃及地，逐步攀登權力金字塔。中東地區非常保守，不但男尊女卑，金字塔也不容許遊客任意攀登，更何況是穿著舉步維艱的長袖正式和服，所以小池以一個浮誇的畫面來增飾自己在埃及留學生活的映象。
The Arabic-language biography of Hatem “The Diary of Abdel-Kader Hatem - Head of the October War Government"" published in Cairo in 2016 (written by an Egyptian journalist Ibrahim Abdel Aziz) states that Hatem had been on good terms with Yasuhiro Nakasone, former Prime Minister of Japan, since 1954 and that Nakasone introduced Yuriko Koike to him, a student at that time, as the daughter of his friend. Hatem took care of Koike. Koike called Hatem a god-father, and he gave Koike an allowance of 14 Egyptian pounds a month (Koike wrote on page 250 of “Furisode Climbing the Pyramid"" that she received a scholarship of 12 pounds a month from the Egyptian government)."

Abdel-Kader Hatem與中曾根康弘
Abdel-Kader Hatem with Yasuhiro Nakasone

"另一方面，小池於1985年出版的書《音譯：Onna女性 no 的Jinmyaku-Zukuri人脈建立 (（我如何以女人的身分經營人脈關係）》指出，她的父親（小池裕郎）很早就認識中曾根。她本人是在小學時代即已見到中曾根，在每個冬天，中曾根都向家人送去了一堆在中曾根選舉區群馬縣產的韭菜，並與他的兄弟一起吃了。
On the other hand Koike's book, ""Onna no Jinmyaku-Zukuri (How I made personal connections as a woman)"" published in 1985 states that her father (Yujiro Koike) had known Nakasone for a long time. She herself first met Nakasone when she was an elementary school student, every winter Nakasone sent her family a bunch of leeks produced in Gunma prefecture, Nakasone’s electoral district, and she ate them with his* brother." 🌐*Chenchen註：應該是She ate them with HER brother.,,

1973年10月6日，埃及爆發了十月戰爭（Yom Kippur War）。 埃及和敘利亞軍隊對部署在蘇伊士運河和戈蘭高地的以色列部隊發動了進攻，試圖奪回1967年六日戰爭（六月戰爭）中以色列佔領的領土。
🌐Chenchen註：這是知名的第四次以阿戰爭，後來引發第一次石油危機，各界認為這是阿拉伯國家在二戰之後，第一次聯手反對西方帝國主義。維基百科：贖罪日戰爭，又稱第四次以阿戰爭、齋月戰爭、十月戰爭...起源於埃及與敘利亞分別攻擊六年前被以色列佔領的西奈半島和戈蘭高地。戰爭的頭一至兩日埃敘聯盟佔了上風，但此後戰況逆轉。至第二周，敘軍退出戈蘭高地。在西奈，以軍在兩軍之間攻擊，越過原來的停火線蘇伊士運河。直到聯合國停火令生效為止，以軍甚至包圍了埃及的主力部隊。 https://zh.m.wikipedia.org/zh-tw/%E8%B4%96%E7%BD%AA%E6%97%A5%E6%88%B0%E7%88%AD

On 6 October 1973, the October War (Yom Kippur War) broke out in Egypt. Egyptian and Syrian forces launched an attack on Israeli forces deployed in the Suez Canal and Golan Heights in an attempt to recapture territory occupied by Israel in the Six Day War (June War) in 1967.

"為了支持埃及和敘利亞，阿拉伯石油輸出國組織（OAPEC）將石油價格提高了1.4倍，並引發了第一次石油危機。 日本被OAPEC視為“不友好”國家之一，由於採取了削減石油供應的措施，日本遭受了經濟危機。 日本政府派副首相三木武夫和前外交大臣小坂健太郎等人前往沙烏地阿拉伯，埃及和阿爾及利亞，要求這些國家將日本改變為“友好國家”類別（所謂的“石油乞討外交”）。 。
In support of Egypt and Syria, the Organization of Arab Petroleum Exporting Countries (OAPEC), raised oil prices by 1.4 times and caused the First Oil Crisis. Japan was considered one of the ""unfriendly"" countries by OAPEC and suffered an economic crisis as a result of measures to cut oil supplies. The Japanese government sent Deputy Prime Minister Takeo Miki and former Foreign Minister Zentaro Kosaka and others to Saudi Arabia, Egypt, and Algeria to ask those countries to change Japan to a ""friendly country"" category (the so-called ""oil begging diplomacy"")."

(待續...或是直接點原文連結)
https://jbpress.ismedia.jp/articles/-/60643

My sister, Michelle-Ann Iking's 3% chance of conceiving naturally was a success! Here's her story:

(My apologies as I've been overwhelmed with personal matters. I've only managed to get to my desk. So finally got around posting this).

This is the story behind my sister's pregnancy struggle and how she shared her journey over her Facebook page.

Because some may have not caught her LIVE session chat with me (https://www.facebook.com/daphneiking/videos/687743128744960/) , or read her lengthy post (as it's a private page);
she's allowed me to copy and paste it over my wall, in case you need to know more about her thought process on how AND why she focused on the 3% success probability. Read on.

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Posted 10th May 2020.
FB Credit: Michelle-Ann Iking

A week ago today I celebrated becoming a mother to our second, long awaited child.

Please forgive this mother's LONG (self-indulgent) post, journalling what this significant milestone has meant for her personally, for her own fallible memory's sake as well as maybe to share one day with her son.

If all you were wondering was whether I had delivered and if mum and bub are OK, please be assured the whole KkLM family are thriving tremendously, and continue scrolling right along your Newsfeed 😁.

OUR 3% MIRACLE

All babies are miracles... and none more so than our precious Kiaen Aaryan (pronounced KEY-n AR-yen), whose name derives from Sanskrit origins meaning:

Grace of God
Spiritual
Kind
Benevolent

...words espousing the gratitude Kishore and I feel for Kiaen's arrival as our "3% miracle".

He was conceived, naturally, after 3 years of Kishore and I hoping, praying and 'endeavoring'... and only couples for whom the objective switches from pure recreation to (elusive) procreation will understand how this is less fun than it sounds ...

3 years during which time we had consensus from 3 different doctors that we, particularly I (with my advancing age etc etc) had only a 3% chance of natural conception and that our best hope for a sibling for our firstborn, Lara Anoushka, was via IVF.

Lara herself was an 'intervention baby', being one of the 20% of babies successfully conceived through the less intrusive IUI process, after a year and a half of trying naturally and already being told then my age was a debilitating factor.

We had tried another round of IUI for her sibling in 2017 when Lara was a year old. And that time we fell into the ranks of the 80% of would-be parents for whom it would be an exercise in futility... who would go home, comfort each other as best they could, while individually masking their own personal disappointment... hoping for the best, 'the next time around'...

So the improbability ratio of 97% against natural conception of our second baby, as concurred by the combined opinion of 3 medical professionals, was a very real, very daunting figure for us to have to mentally deal with.

Deep, DEEP, down in my heart however, though I had many a day of doubt... I kept a core kernel of faith that somehow, I would again experience the privilege of pregnancy, and again, have a chance at childbirth.

And so, the optimist in me would tell myself, "Well, there have to be people who fall in the 3% bucket... why shouldn't WE be part of the 3%?"

Those who know me well, understand my belief in the Law of Attraction, the philosophy of focusing your mind only on what you want to attract, not on what you don't want, and so even as Kishore and I prepared to go into significant personal debt to attempt IVF in the 2nd half of 2019, I marshalled a last ditch effort to hone in on that 3% chance of natural conception... through research coming across fertility supplements that I ordered from the US and sent to a friend in Singapore to redirect to me because the supplier would not deliver to Malaysia.

I made us as a couple take the supplements in the 3 month 'priming period' in the lead up to the IVF procedure - preconditioning our bodies for optimum results, if you will.

At the same time, I had invested in a sophisticated fertility monitor, with probes and digital sensors for daily tracking of saliva and other unmentionable fluid samples, designed to pinpoint with chemical accuracy my state of fertility on any given day.

(UPDATE: For those interested - I obtained the supplements and Ovacue Fertility Monitor from https://www.fairhavenhealth.com/. Though I had my supplies delivered to a friend in Singapore, and redirected to me here since the US site does not deliver to Malaysia, there are local distributors for these products, you will just have to research the trustworthiness of the vendors yourself...)

I had set an intention - in the 3 months of pre-IVF priming, I would consume what seemed like a pharmacy's worth of supplements, and track fertility religiously... in hopes that somehow, within the 3 month priming period, we would conceive naturally and potentially save ourselves a down payment on a new property... and this was just a projection on financial costs of IVF, not even considering the physical, emotional and mental toll it involves, with no guarantee of a baby at the end of it all...

It was a continuation of an intention embedded even with my first pregnancy, where all the big ticket baby items were consciously purchased for use by a future sibling, in gender neutral colours, in hopes that sibling would be a brother "for a balanced pair", though of course any healthy child would be a welcome blessing.

It was a very conscious determination to always skew my thoughts in service of what the end objective was. For example, when 3+year old Lara would innocently express impatience at not yet having a sibling, at one point suggesting that since we were "taking too long to give her a baby brother/sister", perhaps we should just "go buy a baby from a shop", instead of getting defensive or berating the baby that she herself was, we enlisted Lara's help to pray for her sibling... so in any place of worship, or sacred ground of any kind that we passed thereon, Lara would stop, close her eyes, bow her small head and place her tiny hands together in prayer, reciting earnestly, "Please God, please give me a baby brother or baby sister."

After months and months of watching Lara do this, in the constancy of her childlike chant, Kishore started feeling the pressure of possibly disappointing Lara if her prayer was not answered. Whereas for me, Lara's recitation of her simple wish became like a strengthening mantra, our collective intention imbued with greater power with each repetition, and the goal of a sibling kept very much in the forefront of our minds (hence our calling Lara our 'project manager' in this endeavour).

And somehow in the 2nd month of that 3 month period, a positive + sign appeared on one of the home pregnancy tests I had grown accustomed to taking - my version of the lottery tickets others keep buying in hopes of hitting the jackpot, with all the cyclical anticipation and more often than not, disappointment, that entails...

This time however I was not disappointed.

With God's Grace, (hence 'Kiaen', a variation of 'Kiaan' which means 'Grace of God'), my focus on our joining the ranks of the 3% had materialised.

It seems poetic then, that Kiaen chose to make his appearance on the 3rd May, ironically the same date that his paternal great-grandfather departed this world for the next... such that in the combined words of Kishore and his father Kai Vello Suppiah,

"The 1st generation Suppiah left on 3rd May and the 4th generation Suppiah arrived on 3rd May after 41yrs...
One leaves, another comes, the legacy lives on..."

***

KIAEN AARYAN SUPPIAH'S BIRTH STORY

On Sunday 3rd May, I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

The baby was, in my mind, very UN-fashionably late past his due date of 29th April, so as much as I had willed and 'manifested' the privilege of pregnancy, to say I was keen to be done with it all was an understatement.

In the weeks leading to up to my full term, I had experienced increasingly intense Braxton-Hicks 'practice contractions' - annoying for me for the discomfort involved, stressful for Kishore who was on tenterhooks with the false alarms, on constant alert for when we would actually need to leave home for the hospital.

Having become a Hypnobirthing student and advocate from my first pregnancy with Lara, and thus being equipped with
(1) a lack of fear about childbirth in general and
(2) a basic understanding of how all the sensations I would experience fit into the big picture of my body bringing our baby closer to us,
I was less stressed - content to wait for the baby to be "fully cooked" and come out whenever he was ready... though I wouldn't have minded at all if the cooking time ended sooner, rather than later.

With Lara, I had been somewhat 'forced' into an induced labour, even though she was not yet due, and that had resulted in a 5 DAY LABOUR, a Birth Story for another post, so I was not inclined to chemically induce labour, even though I was assured that for second time mothers, it would be 'much faster and easier'...

That morning, I had a hunch *maybe* that day was the day, because in contrast to previous weeks' sensations of tightening, pressure and even spasms that were concentrated in the front of my abdomen and occasionally shot through my sides and legs, I felt period - like cramping in my lower back which I had not felt before throughout the pregnancy.

It was about 8am in the morning then, and my 'surges' were still relatively mild ('surges' being Hypnobirthing - speak for 'contractions', designed to frame them with the more positive connotations needed to counteract common language in which childbirth is presented as something that is unequivocally painful and traumatic, instead of the miraculous, powerful and natural phenomenon it actually is).

I recall (masochistically?) entertaining the thought of opting NOT to have an epidural JUST TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE...

I figured this would be the last time I would be pregnant and so it would be my 'last chance' to experience 'drug free labour' which, apart from the health benefits for baby and mother, might be *interesting* in a way that people who are curious about what getting a tattoo and skydiving and bungee jumping are like, might find these *interesting*...even knowing there will be pain and risk involved...

Since I have tried tattoos and skydiving (unfortunately not being able to squeeze in bungee-jumping while my life was purely my own to risk at no dependents' possible detriment) a similar curiousity about a no-epidural labour was on my mind...

In the absence of other signs of the onset of labour (like 'bloody show' or my waters breaking), I wanted to wait until the surges were coming every few minutes before we actually left the house for the hospital, not wanting to be one of those couples who rushed in too early and had interminable waits for the next stage in unfamiliar, clinical surroundings and/or were made to go home in an anti-climatic manner.

I was even calm enough through my surges to have the presence of mind to wash and blowdry my hair, knowing if I did deliver soon I would not be allowed this luxury for a while.

Around 9am I asked Kishore to prep for Lara and himself to be dressed and breakfasted so we could head to hospital soon, while I sent messages to family members on both sides informing them 'today might be the day.'

My mother, who had briefly served as a midwife before going back into general nursing and then becoming a nursing tutor, prophetically stated that if what I was experiencing was true labour, "the baby would be out by noon".

The pace in which my surges grew closer together was surprisingly quicker than I expected; and while I asked Lara to "Hurry up with breakfast" with only a tad more urgency than we normally tell her to do, little Missy being prone to dilly-dallying at meals, I probably freaked Kishore out when about 930am onwards, I had to instinctively get on my hands and knees a couple of times, eyes closed, trying to practice the Hypnobirthing breathing techniques I had revised to help along the process of my body birthing our child into the world.

I recall him saying a bit frantically as I knelt at our front door, doubled over as he waited for Lara to complete something or other, "Lara hurry up! Can't you see Mama is in so much pain and you are taking your own sweet time??!!"

SIDETRACK: Just the night before, Lara and I had watched a TV show in which a woman gave birth with the usual histrionics accompanying pop culture depictions of labour.

Lara watched the scene, transfixed.

I told her, simply and matter-of-factly, "That's what Mama has to do to get baby brother out Lara, and that's what I had to do for you also."

In most of interactions with my daughter, I have sought to equip her to face life's situations with calmness, truthful common sense, and ideally a minimum of drama.

Those who know the dramatic diva that Lara can be will know that this is a work-in-progress, but her response to me that night showed me some of my 'teachings' were sinking in:

She looked at me unfazed, "But Mama," she said. "You won't cry and scream like that lady, right? You will be BRAVE and stay calm, right?"
#nopressure.

So as we prepped to leave for the hospital I did indeed attempt to be that role model of calm for her, asking her only for her help in keeping very quiet,
"Because Mama needs to focus on bringing baby brother out and she needs quiet to concentrate...".

As we left the house at 10.11am, I texted Kishore's sister Geetha to please prep to pick up Lara from the hospital, and was grateful Kishore had the foresight to ask our gynae to prepare a letter for Geetha to show any police roadblocks between my in-laws' home in Subang Jaya and the hospital in Bangsar, this all happening under the Movement Control Order (MCO).

To Lara's credit, in the journey over to the hospital, she - probably sensing the gravity of the situation, sat very quietly in her seat at the back, and the silence was punctuated only by my occasional deep intakes of breath and some variation of my Ohmmm-like moans when the sensations were at their height.

By the time we got to Pantai Hospital at around 10.30am, my surges were strong enough I requested a wheelchair to assist me in getting to the labour ward, as I did not trust my own legs to support me... and Kishore would have to wait until Geetha had arrived to take Lara back to my in-laws' house before he himself could go up.

I slumped in the wheelchair and was wheeled up to the labour room with my eyes closed the whole time, trying to handle my surges.

I didn't even look up to see the attendant who pushed me... but did make the effort to thank him sincerely when he handed me over, with what seemed like a palpable sense of relief on his part, to the labour ward nurses.

The nurse attending me at Pantai was calm, steady and efficient. I answered some questions and changed into my labour gown while waiting for Kishore to come up, all the while managing the increasingly intense surges with my rusty Hypnobirthing breathing techniques.

By the time Kishore joined me at around 11am (I know these timings based on the timestamps of the 'WhatsApp live feed' of messages Kishore sent to his family), I was asking the nurse on duty, "How soon can I get an epidural??" thinking what crazy woman thought she could do this without drugs???!!!

The nurse checked my cervix dilation, I saw her bloodied glove indicating my mucous plug had dislodged, and she told me, "Well you are already at 7cm (which, for the uninitiated, is 70% of the way to the 10cm dilation needed for birthing), you are really doing well, if you made it this far without any drugs, if can you try and manage without it... I suspect within 2 hours or less you will deliver your baby and since it will take about that time for the anaesthesiologist to be called, epidural to be administered and kick in... it might all be for nothing... but of course the decision is completely up to you... "

So there I was, super torn, should I risk the sensations becoming worse... or risk the epidural becoming a waste?? And of course I was trying to decide this as my labour surges were coming at me stronger and stronger...

I was in such a dilemma...because as a 'recovering approval junkie' there was also a silly element of approval-seeking involved, ("The nurse thinks I can do this without drugs... maybe I CAN do this without drugs... Yay me!") mixed with that element of curiosity I mentioned earlier ("What if I actually CAN do this without drugs... plenty of other women have done it all over the world since time immemorial.. no big deal, how bad can it be...??") so then I thought I would use the financial aspect to be the 'tiebreaker' in my decision making...

I asked the nurse how much an epidural would cost and when she replied "Around MYR1.5k", I still remember Kishore's incredulous face as I asked the question, i.e."Seriously babe, you are gonna think about money right now? If you need the epidural TAKE IT, don't worry about the money!!!"... and while we are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, thankfully RM1.5k is not a quantum that made me swing towards a decision to "better save the money"...

So in the end, I guess my curiosity won out, and I turned down the epidural "just to see what it would be like and if I had it in me" (in addition of course to avoiding the side effects of any drugs introduced into my and the baby's body).

My labour occuring in the time of coronavirus, it was protocol for me to have a COVID19 test done, so the medical staff could apply the necessary precautions. I had heard from a friend Sharon Ruba that the test procedure was uncomfortable, so when the nurse came with the test kit as I was starting another surge, I asked, "Please can I just finish this surge before I do the test?" as I really didn't think I could multitask tackling multiple uncomfortable sensations in one go.

The COVID19 test involved what felt like a looong, skinny cotton bud being inserted into one nostril... I definitely felt more than a tickle as it went in and up, being told to take deep breaths by the nurse. Then she asked me to "Try to swallow" and I felt it go into my nasal cavities where I didn't think anything could go any further, but was proven wrong when she asked me to swallow again and the swab was probed even deeper. Then she warned me there would be some slight discomfort as she prepared to collect a sample... but at that point all I could think about was:

(i) I really don't have much of a choice
(ii) please let this be over before my next surge kicks in
(iii) if all the people breaking the MCO rules knew what it feels like to do this test maybe they won't put themselves at risk of the need to perform one...

In full disclosure as I was transferred into the actual delivery room at some point after 11am, another nurse offered me 'laughing gas' to ostensibly take some of the edge off... I took the self-operated breathing nozzle passed to me but don't recall it making any difference to my sensations..so didn't use it much as it seemed pretty pointless.

I recall some measure of relief when I heard my gynae Dr. Paul entering the room, greeting Kishore and me, and telling us it was going well and it wouldn't be long now and he would see us again shortly.

From my previous labour with Lara I knew the midwives pretty much take you 90% of the way through the labour and when the Dr is called in you are really at the home stretch, so was very relieved to hear his voice though knowing he would leave and come back later meant it wasn't quite over yet.

I do remember realising when I had crossed the Thinning and Opening Phase of labour to the Birthing Phase, by the change in sensations... it is still amazing to me that as the Hypnobirthing book mentioned, having this knowledge I was instinctively able to switch breathing techniques for the next stage of labour .

Was my opting against epidural the right choice for me?

Overall? Yes.

Don't get me wrong.

I *almost* regretted the decision several times during active labour... especially when I felt my body being taken over by an overwhelming compulsion to push that did not seem conscious and was accompanied by involuntary gutteral moans where I literally just thought to myself, "I surrender, God do with me what you will..." (super dramatic I know but VERY real at the time...).

I think I experienced 3-4 such natural explusive reflexes (?), rhythmically pushing the baby down the birth path, one of which was accompanied by what felt like a swoosh of water coming out of a hose with a diameter the size of a golf ball... this was when I realised my water had finally broken...

The nurses kept instructing me to do different things, to keep breathing, to move to my side, then to move to the middle, to raise my feet... and when I didn't comply, Kishore (who was with me throughout both my labours) tried to help them by repeating the instructions prefaced with "Sayang..." but I basically ignored all the intructions because I felt I had no capacity to direct any part of my body to do anything and someone else would have to physically manoeuvre that body part themselves.

When I heard Dr. Paul's voice again and the flurry of commotion surrounding his presence, I knew the time was close... and when I heard the nurse say to Kishore, "Sir, these are your gloves, for when you cut the baby's cord", it was music to my ears...

I'm very, VERY grateful Kiaen slid out after maybe the 4th of those involuntary pushes... the wave of RELIEF when he came out so quickly... it still boggles my mind that my mother was essentially right and as his birth time was 12.02pm, it was *only* about 1.5 hours between our arrival at the hospital and his arrival into the world.

Kiaen was placed on my chest for skin to skin bonding and remained there for a considerable time.

For our short stay in the hospital he would be with us in my maternity ward number C327... another trivially serendipitous sign for me because he was born on the 3rd (May) and our wedding anniversary is 27th (July).

I was discharged the following day 4th May at about 5.30pm, after I got an all clear on COVID19 and a paediatric surgeon did a small procedure on Kiaen to address a tongue-tie that would affect his breastfeeding latch... making the entire duration of our stay about 31 hours.

I have taken the time and effort to record all this down so that whenever life's challenges threaten to get me down I can remind myself, "Ignore the 97% failure probability, focus on the 3% success probability".

Also that the human condition is miraculous and it is such a privilege to experience it.

To our son Kiaen Aaryan, thank you for coming into our lives and choosing us as your parents.

Even though Papa and I are both zombies trying to settle into a night time feeding routine with you, I look forward to spending not only all future Mother's Days, but every day, with you and your Akka...

And last but not least, to my husband Kishore...without whom none of this would be possible - we did it sayang, I love you ❤️

Photo credit: Stayhome session with Samantha Yong Photography (http://samanthayong.com/)