關於 based on a true story 2017 ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

[翻轉視界] 孤軍奮戰的正義律師: 羅伯‧比洛特

Have you seen the film Dark Waters?

你看過電影《黑水風暴》嗎？

The film is based on the 2016 New York Times Magazine article "The Lawyer Who Became DuPont's Worst Nightmare," which describes Robert Bilott's case against the chemical manufacturing corporation DuPont after they contaminated a town with unregulated chemicals.

這部電影改編自紐約時報2016年的文章《成為杜邦最糟糕的噩夢的律師》，講述律師羅伯‧比洛特對抗化學製造廠「杜邦」的故事，該廠以未被規範的化學物質污染了一個小鎮。

Robert Bilott put his career, his family, everything on the line to win justice for tens of thousands if not millions of people. It is because of people like him, people who continue to speak out and take action against injustice, that our society continues to improve. Thank you, Mr. Bilott.

羅伯‧比洛特壓上一切，包括自己的事業、家庭，與為數達到萬人、甚至數百萬的民眾捍衛正義。正因有像他這樣的人持續為對抗不公不義發聲與採取行動，我們的社會才能不斷進步。謝謝你，比洛特先生。

Here’s a Times article that describes both the film and its portray of Mr. Bilott’s struggle to bring justice. I highly recommend the film.

以下是《Time 時代雜誌》的文章，介紹了這部電影並描繪了比洛特先生伸張正義所做的努力；我強烈推薦《黑水風暴》。

新聞報導: https://youtu.be/Tkkuil-U6qQ

★★★★★★★★★★★★

Rob Bilott, a corporate lawyer-turned-environmental crusader, doesn’t much care if he’s made enemies over the years. "I’ve been dealing with this for almost three decades," he says. "I can’t really worry about if the people on the other side like me or not."

•a corporate lawyer 企業律師
•environmental crusader 環境鬥士
•make enemies 樹敵、建立敵人

羅伯‧比洛特是位由企業律師轉變而成的環境鬥士，對自己多年來是否樹敵並不在意。「我已處理這問題近三十年了，」他說，「我根本不在意立場相對的人是否喜歡我」。

★★★★★★★★★★★★

Bilott used to be on the other side. The Todd Haynes-directed movie Dark Waters, tells the story of how the lawyer switched allegiances. As happened in real life, the movie depicts Ruffalo’s Bilott as a lawyer who defends large chemical companies before he is approached for help in 1998 by Wilbur Tennant, a West Virginia farmer whose land was contaminated by chemical giant DuPont. Inflamed by that injustice, and the complicity of local authorities, the lawyer risks his career as he embarks on a decades-long legal siege of one of America’s most powerful corporations.

•switch allegiances 轉換陣營
•depict 描述
•complicity 共謀；串通；共犯
•DuPont 杜邦（世界排名第二大的美國化工公司）

比洛特曾站在企業那一邊。由陶德·海恩斯導演的《黑水風暴》講述這位律師如何轉換陣營：正如真實生活中發生的，該電影描述馬克·魯法洛所扮演的比洛特是一名任職大型化學企業的律師。1998年，一位土地被化學製造巨頭杜邦所污染的西維吉尼亞州農民威爾伯·坦納特，向他尋求幫助。不公義及地方當局的共謀激怒了這名律師；冒著斷送職涯的風險，他開始對美國最有權力的公司之一杜邦，進行長達數十年的法律圍攻。

★★★★★★★★★★★★

He works, at first, on Tennant’s behalf, then pursues a class action suit representing around 70,000 people living near a chemical plant that allegedly contaminated drinking water with PFOA, a toxic chemical used in the production of Teflon. In recent years, studies have correlated long-term exposure to PFOA with a number of illnesses, including some types of cancer.

•on behalf of sb/in behalf of sb; on sb's behalf/in sb's behalf 代表～；作為～的代表；代替～ ; 因為，為了～的利益
•a chemical plant 化學工廠
•allegedly 宣稱地；據傳地
•contaminate drinking water 污染飲用水
•perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOA) 全氟辛酸銨

他一開始先代表威爾伯·坦納特進行訴訟，之後代表約七萬名居住在化學工廠附近的居民進行訴訟，據稱該工廠以全氟辛酸（PFOA）污染了飲用水。PFOA是一種用於製造鐵氟龍的有毒化學物質；近幾年有研究表明，長期暴露於PFOA與許多疾病相關，其中包括某些癌症。

★★★★★★★★★★★★

In 2017, Bilott won a $671 million settlement on behalf of more than 3,500 plaintiffs. Those people claimed they had contracted diseases, among them kidney cancer and testicular cancer, from chemicals DuPont allegedly knew may have been dangerous for decades, and allowed to contaminate their drinking water anyway.

•settlement 協議；和解（金）；定居；支付
•plaintiff 原告
•contract a disease 患病、染病
•kidney cancer 腎臟癌

2017年，比洛特代表超過3500名原告贏得了6.71億美金的和解金。這些原告聲稱他們患病，其中包括腎臟癌與睪丸癌，是由於那些杜邦疑似早在數十年前就知道危險、卻仍然放任污染飲用水的化學物質。

★★★★★★★★★★★★

In Dark Waters, Haynes emphasizes the seemingly endless fight taken up by Bilott, as DuPont brings its considerable resources to bear to defend itself over the course of two decades. According to one analyst, the film’s potential to raise awareness about these issues could have a serious effect on some chemical companies’ bottom lines. But for the real Rob Bilott, the work of taking the industry to court is far from over. In October 2018, the lawyer filed a new lawsuit against several companies, including 3M, Arkema, and Chemours, a manufacturer spun off from DuPont in 2015. That ongoing case is seeking class action status, and was initially brought on behalf of Kevin Hardwick, a firefighting veteran of 40 years who used fire-suppression foams and firefighting equipment containing a class of chemicals known as PFAS, or polyfluoroalkyl substances (PFOA is one type of PFAS chemical).

•seemingly endless fight 看似永無止境的鬥爭
•considerable resources 為數可觀、相當多的資源
•raise awareness about… 激發對～的警覺
•far from over 遠遠不夠
•file a lawsuit 提起新訴訟
•seek class action status 尋求集體訴訟（派一方代表訴訟）地位
•polyfluoroalkyl substances (PFAS) 全氟烷基物質（廣泛被用來作為表面塗料，不易分解、會產生污染）

在《黑水風暴》中，海恩斯強調那些比洛特所參與的看似是個永無止盡的鬥爭，因為杜邦二十多年來動用可觀的資源來為自身辯護。根據一位分析師，本電影可能激發大眾對此類議題的警覺，或是將對一些化學公司的利潤帶來嚴重影響。但對真正的羅伯‧比洛特而言，僅將杜邦送上法庭遠遠不夠。2018年10月，這位律師針對好幾家公司提起新訴訟，對象包括3M、阿科瑪與2015年從杜邦拆分出來的製造公司科慕。這起進行中的訴訟案正尋求集體訴訟地位，而該案件初始是為凱文．哈德沃克提起的，一位有40年經驗的消防員，他長期使用一種含全氟烷基物質（PFAS）或多氟烷基（polyfluoroalkyl）物質的滅火泡沫與消防器材。（註：PFOA是一種 PFAS化學物。）

★★★★★★★★★★★★

PFAS chemicals are used in products ranging from waterproof jackets to shaving cream, and they can leach into water supplies in areas where they are disposed of or used in fire suppression (in particular on military bases, where they have been used for years). According to Bilott’s complaint, studies currently suggest that PFAS is present in the blood of around 99% of Americans. The class of chemicals has broadly been linked to immune system disruption, while PFOA specifically has been found to be associated with cancers and other diseases. Bilott’s newest lawsuit, as with his prior cases, alleges that these companies knew for decades that PFAS chemicals, specifically PFOA, could be linked to serious health problems, and that they still assured the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and other U.S. government regulators that PFAS exposures were harmless.

•range from…to… 從～到～
•leach into 過濾、滲入
•water supply 供水，給水
•be linked to 與～有關
•be associated with 與～相關
•assure 保證
•government regulators 政府監管、立法單位
•exposure (n.) 暴露

PFAS化學物質應用廣泛，從防水夾克到刮鬍泡，而他們可以滲入可能或被用於滅火的地區的供水之中（尤其在軍中，這種物質被使用多年）。據比洛特控訴，目前研究顯示，約99%的美國人血液中有PFAS存在。這種化學物質與免疫系統遭破壞有關，而PFOA則被發現跟癌症與其他疾病相關。比洛特最新的訴訟一如先前的案件，宣稱這些公司數十年來都知道PFAS化學物質，尤其是PFOA可能與重大健康問題相關，但他們仍舊向環保局與其他美國政府監管單位保證，說 PFAS的暴露是無害的。

★★★★★★★★★★★★

"What we’re hearing once again from those companies that put those chemicals out there, knowing that they would get into the environment and into our blood, is that there’s insufficient evidence to show that they present risks to humans who are exposed," explains Bilott. "These companies are going to sit back and say, we’re entitled to…use you as guinea pigs, yet those of you who are exposed are somehow the ones who are going to have to prove what these 'chemicals' do to you."

•insufficient evidence 證據不足
•present risks 存在危險
•a guinea pig（通常用於測試藥效的）實驗對象，供做實驗的人 ; 豚鼠，天竺鼠

「我們又再次耳聞這些公司，明知那些化學製品會流入環境並進入我們的血液，卻仍將其暴露在環境裡，並宣稱沒有足夠證據證明暴露的化學物質將置人類於風險之中，」比洛特解釋道，「這些公司坐視不理並說，他們有權將人們當成實驗對象，而你們這些暴露在化學物質中的人，卻將證實那些化學物質會對造成什麼影響。」

★★★★★★★★★★★★

"If we can’t get where we need to go to protect people through our regulatory channels, through our legislative process, then unfortunately what we have left is our legal process," says Bilott. "If that’s what it takes to get people the information they need and to protect people, we’re willing to do it."

•regulatory channels 管制途徑
•legislative process 立法程序

「如果我們無法透過管制途徑、立法程序來保護人們，那麼不幸的是，我們只剩下法律程序，」比洛特表示，「如果這就是讓人們得到所需要的資訊、保護人們所要付出的努力，我們願意這樣做。」

★★★★★★★★★★★★

Robert Bilott is a true hero.

羅伯‧比洛特是真正的英雄。

文章來自於《Time 時代雜誌》 : https://time.com/5737451/dark-waters-true-story-rob-bilott/

圖片出處: Cincinnati Enquirer

★★★★★★★★★★★★

翻轉視界: http://bit.ly/3fPvKUs

宥：
今天是法國女演員伊娃·葛林（Eva Green）的生日！
各位是哪部電影認識這位女星的呢？
第一次注意到她，是在那部被她拯救的【300壯士：帝國崛起】XDD

本日壽星：
伊娃·葛林（Eva Green，1980年7月6日）
　
　
「我想人們完全地著迷於裸體。我並不喜歡拍裸戲，我發現那非常讓人不舒服......大家都以為裸露對我來說很簡單。呵呵，真幽默。」(註)
－伊娃·葛林（Eva Green）
　
　
演員代表作：
【巴黎初體驗（戲夢巴黎）】（The Dreamers，2003）
【王者天下】（Kingdom of Heaven，2005）
【007首部曲：皇家夜總會】（Casino Royale，2006）
【黑影家族】（Dark Shadows，2012）
【300壯士：帝國崛起】（300: Rise of an Empire，2014）
【萬惡城市2：紅顏奪命】（Sin City: A Dame to Kill For，2014）
【怪奇孤兒院】（Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children，2016）
【真實遊戲】（Based on a True Story，2017）
　
　
#EvaGreen
註：https://www.vice.com/…/eva-green-penny-dreadful-interview-f…

My sister, Michelle-Ann Iking's 3% chance of conceiving naturally was a success! Here's her story:

(My apologies as I've been overwhelmed with personal matters. I've only managed to get to my desk. So finally got around posting this).

This is the story behind my sister's pregnancy struggle and how she shared her journey over her Facebook page.

Because some may have not caught her LIVE session chat with me (https://www.facebook.com/daphneiking/videos/687743128744960/) , or read her lengthy post (as it's a private page);
she's allowed me to copy and paste it over my wall, in case you need to know more about her thought process on how AND why she focused on the 3% success probability. Read on.

-------------------------------------------

Posted 10th May 2020.
FB Credit: Michelle-Ann Iking

A week ago today I celebrated becoming a mother to our second, long awaited child.

Please forgive this mother's LONG (self-indulgent) post, journalling what this significant milestone has meant for her personally, for her own fallible memory's sake as well as maybe to share one day with her son.

If all you were wondering was whether I had delivered and if mum and bub are OK, please be assured the whole KkLM family are thriving tremendously, and continue scrolling right along your Newsfeed 😁.

OUR 3% MIRACLE

All babies are miracles... and none more so than our precious Kiaen Aaryan (pronounced KEY-n AR-yen), whose name derives from Sanskrit origins meaning:

Grace of God
Spiritual
Kind
Benevolent

...words espousing the gratitude Kishore and I feel for Kiaen's arrival as our "3% miracle".

He was conceived, naturally, after 3 years of Kishore and I hoping, praying and 'endeavoring'... and only couples for whom the objective switches from pure recreation to (elusive) procreation will understand how this is less fun than it sounds ...

3 years during which time we had consensus from 3 different doctors that we, particularly I (with my advancing age etc etc) had only a 3% chance of natural conception and that our best hope for a sibling for our firstborn, Lara Anoushka, was via IVF.

Lara herself was an 'intervention baby', being one of the 20% of babies successfully conceived through the less intrusive IUI process, after a year and a half of trying naturally and already being told then my age was a debilitating factor.

We had tried another round of IUI for her sibling in 2017 when Lara was a year old. And that time we fell into the ranks of the 80% of would-be parents for whom it would be an exercise in futility... who would go home, comfort each other as best they could, while individually masking their own personal disappointment... hoping for the best, 'the next time around'...

So the improbability ratio of 97% against natural conception of our second baby, as concurred by the combined opinion of 3 medical professionals, was a very real, very daunting figure for us to have to mentally deal with.

Deep, DEEP, down in my heart however, though I had many a day of doubt... I kept a core kernel of faith that somehow, I would again experience the privilege of pregnancy, and again, have a chance at childbirth.

And so, the optimist in me would tell myself, "Well, there have to be people who fall in the 3% bucket... why shouldn't WE be part of the 3%?"

Those who know me well, understand my belief in the Law of Attraction, the philosophy of focusing your mind only on what you want to attract, not on what you don't want, and so even as Kishore and I prepared to go into significant personal debt to attempt IVF in the 2nd half of 2019, I marshalled a last ditch effort to hone in on that 3% chance of natural conception... through research coming across fertility supplements that I ordered from the US and sent to a friend in Singapore to redirect to me because the supplier would not deliver to Malaysia.

I made us as a couple take the supplements in the 3 month 'priming period' in the lead up to the IVF procedure - preconditioning our bodies for optimum results, if you will.

At the same time, I had invested in a sophisticated fertility monitor, with probes and digital sensors for daily tracking of saliva and other unmentionable fluid samples, designed to pinpoint with chemical accuracy my state of fertility on any given day.

(UPDATE: For those interested - I obtained the supplements and Ovacue Fertility Monitor from https://www.fairhavenhealth.com/. Though I had my supplies delivered to a friend in Singapore, and redirected to me here since the US site does not deliver to Malaysia, there are local distributors for these products, you will just have to research the trustworthiness of the vendors yourself...)

I had set an intention - in the 3 months of pre-IVF priming, I would consume what seemed like a pharmacy's worth of supplements, and track fertility religiously... in hopes that somehow, within the 3 month priming period, we would conceive naturally and potentially save ourselves a down payment on a new property... and this was just a projection on financial costs of IVF, not even considering the physical, emotional and mental toll it involves, with no guarantee of a baby at the end of it all...

It was a continuation of an intention embedded even with my first pregnancy, where all the big ticket baby items were consciously purchased for use by a future sibling, in gender neutral colours, in hopes that sibling would be a brother "for a balanced pair", though of course any healthy child would be a welcome blessing.

It was a very conscious determination to always skew my thoughts in service of what the end objective was. For example, when 3+year old Lara would innocently express impatience at not yet having a sibling, at one point suggesting that since we were "taking too long to give her a baby brother/sister", perhaps we should just "go buy a baby from a shop", instead of getting defensive or berating the baby that she herself was, we enlisted Lara's help to pray for her sibling... so in any place of worship, or sacred ground of any kind that we passed thereon, Lara would stop, close her eyes, bow her small head and place her tiny hands together in prayer, reciting earnestly, "Please God, please give me a baby brother or baby sister."

After months and months of watching Lara do this, in the constancy of her childlike chant, Kishore started feeling the pressure of possibly disappointing Lara if her prayer was not answered. Whereas for me, Lara's recitation of her simple wish became like a strengthening mantra, our collective intention imbued with greater power with each repetition, and the goal of a sibling kept very much in the forefront of our minds (hence our calling Lara our 'project manager' in this endeavour).

And somehow in the 2nd month of that 3 month period, a positive + sign appeared on one of the home pregnancy tests I had grown accustomed to taking - my version of the lottery tickets others keep buying in hopes of hitting the jackpot, with all the cyclical anticipation and more often than not, disappointment, that entails...

This time however I was not disappointed.

With God's Grace, (hence 'Kiaen', a variation of 'Kiaan' which means 'Grace of God'), my focus on our joining the ranks of the 3% had materialised.

It seems poetic then, that Kiaen chose to make his appearance on the 3rd May, ironically the same date that his paternal great-grandfather departed this world for the next... such that in the combined words of Kishore and his father Kai Vello Suppiah,

"The 1st generation Suppiah left on 3rd May and the 4th generation Suppiah arrived on 3rd May after 41yrs...
One leaves, another comes, the legacy lives on..."

***

KIAEN AARYAN SUPPIAH'S BIRTH STORY

On Sunday 3rd May, I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

The baby was, in my mind, very UN-fashionably late past his due date of 29th April, so as much as I had willed and 'manifested' the privilege of pregnancy, to say I was keen to be done with it all was an understatement.

In the weeks leading to up to my full term, I had experienced increasingly intense Braxton-Hicks 'practice contractions' - annoying for me for the discomfort involved, stressful for Kishore who was on tenterhooks with the false alarms, on constant alert for when we would actually need to leave home for the hospital.

Having become a Hypnobirthing student and advocate from my first pregnancy with Lara, and thus being equipped with
(1) a lack of fear about childbirth in general and
(2) a basic understanding of how all the sensations I would experience fit into the big picture of my body bringing our baby closer to us,
I was less stressed - content to wait for the baby to be "fully cooked" and come out whenever he was ready... though I wouldn't have minded at all if the cooking time ended sooner, rather than later.

With Lara, I had been somewhat 'forced' into an induced labour, even though she was not yet due, and that had resulted in a 5 DAY LABOUR, a Birth Story for another post, so I was not inclined to chemically induce labour, even though I was assured that for second time mothers, it would be 'much faster and easier'...

That morning, I had a hunch *maybe* that day was the day, because in contrast to previous weeks' sensations of tightening, pressure and even spasms that were concentrated in the front of my abdomen and occasionally shot through my sides and legs, I felt period - like cramping in my lower back which I had not felt before throughout the pregnancy.

It was about 8am in the morning then, and my 'surges' were still relatively mild ('surges' being Hypnobirthing - speak for 'contractions', designed to frame them with the more positive connotations needed to counteract common language in which childbirth is presented as something that is unequivocally painful and traumatic, instead of the miraculous, powerful and natural phenomenon it actually is).

I recall (masochistically?) entertaining the thought of opting NOT to have an epidural JUST TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE...

I figured this would be the last time I would be pregnant and so it would be my 'last chance' to experience 'drug free labour' which, apart from the health benefits for baby and mother, might be *interesting* in a way that people who are curious about what getting a tattoo and skydiving and bungee jumping are like, might find these *interesting*...even knowing there will be pain and risk involved...

Since I have tried tattoos and skydiving (unfortunately not being able to squeeze in bungee-jumping while my life was purely my own to risk at no dependents' possible detriment) a similar curiousity about a no-epidural labour was on my mind...

In the absence of other signs of the onset of labour (like 'bloody show' or my waters breaking), I wanted to wait until the surges were coming every few minutes before we actually left the house for the hospital, not wanting to be one of those couples who rushed in too early and had interminable waits for the next stage in unfamiliar, clinical surroundings and/or were made to go home in an anti-climatic manner.

I was even calm enough through my surges to have the presence of mind to wash and blowdry my hair, knowing if I did deliver soon I would not be allowed this luxury for a while.

Around 9am I asked Kishore to prep for Lara and himself to be dressed and breakfasted so we could head to hospital soon, while I sent messages to family members on both sides informing them 'today might be the day.'

My mother, who had briefly served as a midwife before going back into general nursing and then becoming a nursing tutor, prophetically stated that if what I was experiencing was true labour, "the baby would be out by noon".

The pace in which my surges grew closer together was surprisingly quicker than I expected; and while I asked Lara to "Hurry up with breakfast" with only a tad more urgency than we normally tell her to do, little Missy being prone to dilly-dallying at meals, I probably freaked Kishore out when about 930am onwards, I had to instinctively get on my hands and knees a couple of times, eyes closed, trying to practice the Hypnobirthing breathing techniques I had revised to help along the process of my body birthing our child into the world.

I recall him saying a bit frantically as I knelt at our front door, doubled over as he waited for Lara to complete something or other, "Lara hurry up! Can't you see Mama is in so much pain and you are taking your own sweet time??!!"

SIDETRACK: Just the night before, Lara and I had watched a TV show in which a woman gave birth with the usual histrionics accompanying pop culture depictions of labour.

Lara watched the scene, transfixed.

I told her, simply and matter-of-factly, "That's what Mama has to do to get baby brother out Lara, and that's what I had to do for you also."

In most of interactions with my daughter, I have sought to equip her to face life's situations with calmness, truthful common sense, and ideally a minimum of drama.

Those who know the dramatic diva that Lara can be will know that this is a work-in-progress, but her response to me that night showed me some of my 'teachings' were sinking in:

She looked at me unfazed, "But Mama," she said. "You won't cry and scream like that lady, right? You will be BRAVE and stay calm, right?"
#nopressure.

So as we prepped to leave for the hospital I did indeed attempt to be that role model of calm for her, asking her only for her help in keeping very quiet,
"Because Mama needs to focus on bringing baby brother out and she needs quiet to concentrate...".

As we left the house at 10.11am, I texted Kishore's sister Geetha to please prep to pick up Lara from the hospital, and was grateful Kishore had the foresight to ask our gynae to prepare a letter for Geetha to show any police roadblocks between my in-laws' home in Subang Jaya and the hospital in Bangsar, this all happening under the Movement Control Order (MCO).

To Lara's credit, in the journey over to the hospital, she - probably sensing the gravity of the situation, sat very quietly in her seat at the back, and the silence was punctuated only by my occasional deep intakes of breath and some variation of my Ohmmm-like moans when the sensations were at their height.

By the time we got to Pantai Hospital at around 10.30am, my surges were strong enough I requested a wheelchair to assist me in getting to the labour ward, as I did not trust my own legs to support me... and Kishore would have to wait until Geetha had arrived to take Lara back to my in-laws' house before he himself could go up.

I slumped in the wheelchair and was wheeled up to the labour room with my eyes closed the whole time, trying to handle my surges.

I didn't even look up to see the attendant who pushed me... but did make the effort to thank him sincerely when he handed me over, with what seemed like a palpable sense of relief on his part, to the labour ward nurses.

The nurse attending me at Pantai was calm, steady and efficient. I answered some questions and changed into my labour gown while waiting for Kishore to come up, all the while managing the increasingly intense surges with my rusty Hypnobirthing breathing techniques.

By the time Kishore joined me at around 11am (I know these timings based on the timestamps of the 'WhatsApp live feed' of messages Kishore sent to his family), I was asking the nurse on duty, "How soon can I get an epidural??" thinking what crazy woman thought she could do this without drugs???!!!

The nurse checked my cervix dilation, I saw her bloodied glove indicating my mucous plug had dislodged, and she told me, "Well you are already at 7cm (which, for the uninitiated, is 70% of the way to the 10cm dilation needed for birthing), you are really doing well, if you made it this far without any drugs, if can you try and manage without it... I suspect within 2 hours or less you will deliver your baby and since it will take about that time for the anaesthesiologist to be called, epidural to be administered and kick in... it might all be for nothing... but of course the decision is completely up to you... "

So there I was, super torn, should I risk the sensations becoming worse... or risk the epidural becoming a waste?? And of course I was trying to decide this as my labour surges were coming at me stronger and stronger...

I was in such a dilemma...because as a 'recovering approval junkie' there was also a silly element of approval-seeking involved, ("The nurse thinks I can do this without drugs... maybe I CAN do this without drugs... Yay me!") mixed with that element of curiosity I mentioned earlier ("What if I actually CAN do this without drugs... plenty of other women have done it all over the world since time immemorial.. no big deal, how bad can it be...??") so then I thought I would use the financial aspect to be the 'tiebreaker' in my decision making...

I asked the nurse how much an epidural would cost and when she replied "Around MYR1.5k", I still remember Kishore's incredulous face as I asked the question, i.e."Seriously babe, you are gonna think about money right now? If you need the epidural TAKE IT, don't worry about the money!!!"... and while we are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, thankfully RM1.5k is not a quantum that made me swing towards a decision to "better save the money"...

So in the end, I guess my curiosity won out, and I turned down the epidural "just to see what it would be like and if I had it in me" (in addition of course to avoiding the side effects of any drugs introduced into my and the baby's body).

My labour occuring in the time of coronavirus, it was protocol for me to have a COVID19 test done, so the medical staff could apply the necessary precautions. I had heard from a friend Sharon Ruba that the test procedure was uncomfortable, so when the nurse came with the test kit as I was starting another surge, I asked, "Please can I just finish this surge before I do the test?" as I really didn't think I could multitask tackling multiple uncomfortable sensations in one go.

The COVID19 test involved what felt like a looong, skinny cotton bud being inserted into one nostril... I definitely felt more than a tickle as it went in and up, being told to take deep breaths by the nurse. Then she asked me to "Try to swallow" and I felt it go into my nasal cavities where I didn't think anything could go any further, but was proven wrong when she asked me to swallow again and the swab was probed even deeper. Then she warned me there would be some slight discomfort as she prepared to collect a sample... but at that point all I could think about was:

(i) I really don't have much of a choice
(ii) please let this be over before my next surge kicks in
(iii) if all the people breaking the MCO rules knew what it feels like to do this test maybe they won't put themselves at risk of the need to perform one...

In full disclosure as I was transferred into the actual delivery room at some point after 11am, another nurse offered me 'laughing gas' to ostensibly take some of the edge off... I took the self-operated breathing nozzle passed to me but don't recall it making any difference to my sensations..so didn't use it much as it seemed pretty pointless.

I recall some measure of relief when I heard my gynae Dr. Paul entering the room, greeting Kishore and me, and telling us it was going well and it wouldn't be long now and he would see us again shortly.

From my previous labour with Lara I knew the midwives pretty much take you 90% of the way through the labour and when the Dr is called in you are really at the home stretch, so was very relieved to hear his voice though knowing he would leave and come back later meant it wasn't quite over yet.

I do remember realising when I had crossed the Thinning and Opening Phase of labour to the Birthing Phase, by the change in sensations... it is still amazing to me that as the Hypnobirthing book mentioned, having this knowledge I was instinctively able to switch breathing techniques for the next stage of labour .

Was my opting against epidural the right choice for me?

Overall? Yes.

Don't get me wrong.

I *almost* regretted the decision several times during active labour... especially when I felt my body being taken over by an overwhelming compulsion to push that did not seem conscious and was accompanied by involuntary gutteral moans where I literally just thought to myself, "I surrender, God do with me what you will..." (super dramatic I know but VERY real at the time...).

I think I experienced 3-4 such natural explusive reflexes (?), rhythmically pushing the baby down the birth path, one of which was accompanied by what felt like a swoosh of water coming out of a hose with a diameter the size of a golf ball... this was when I realised my water had finally broken...

The nurses kept instructing me to do different things, to keep breathing, to move to my side, then to move to the middle, to raise my feet... and when I didn't comply, Kishore (who was with me throughout both my labours) tried to help them by repeating the instructions prefaced with "Sayang..." but I basically ignored all the intructions because I felt I had no capacity to direct any part of my body to do anything and someone else would have to physically manoeuvre that body part themselves.

When I heard Dr. Paul's voice again and the flurry of commotion surrounding his presence, I knew the time was close... and when I heard the nurse say to Kishore, "Sir, these are your gloves, for when you cut the baby's cord", it was music to my ears...

I'm very, VERY grateful Kiaen slid out after maybe the 4th of those involuntary pushes... the wave of RELIEF when he came out so quickly... it still boggles my mind that my mother was essentially right and as his birth time was 12.02pm, it was *only* about 1.5 hours between our arrival at the hospital and his arrival into the world.

Kiaen was placed on my chest for skin to skin bonding and remained there for a considerable time.

For our short stay in the hospital he would be with us in my maternity ward number C327... another trivially serendipitous sign for me because he was born on the 3rd (May) and our wedding anniversary is 27th (July).

I was discharged the following day 4th May at about 5.30pm, after I got an all clear on COVID19 and a paediatric surgeon did a small procedure on Kiaen to address a tongue-tie that would affect his breastfeeding latch... making the entire duration of our stay about 31 hours.

I have taken the time and effort to record all this down so that whenever life's challenges threaten to get me down I can remind myself, "Ignore the 97% failure probability, focus on the 3% success probability".

Also that the human condition is miraculous and it is such a privilege to experience it.

To our son Kiaen Aaryan, thank you for coming into our lives and choosing us as your parents.

Even though Papa and I are both zombies trying to settle into a night time feeding routine with you, I look forward to spending not only all future Mother's Days, but every day, with you and your Akka...

And last but not least, to my husband Kishore...without whom none of this would be possible - we did it sayang, I love you ❤️

Photo credit: Stayhome session with Samantha Yong Photography (http://samanthayong.com/)

‘ Teenage Dream ‘ out now ?☁️✨

?
Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/album/6qKAa3lbkxOIRXYNzNBFJ4?si=11vwagJhQ8W78eAtEuqz1w
Joox - https://api.joox.com/s/rd?k=UCMc
Apple Music - https://music.apple.com/id/album/teenage-dream-single/1526210312
Resso - https://m.resso.app/yuJ6KS/

[our story]
07.07.2017, three years ago today.
Was when me and Marcus’ got together . Today, is our 3rd year of being together. We met in kindergarten when we were 5 as you can see in the video, and we parted ways after and went to different primary schools. 6 years later thanks to fate, we met again in secondary school, and we’ve grown so much, he’s always been there for me in whenever i needed him. This song was written based on how we met, how i felt about him, us, & our story which, i still find crazy sometimes.

This is my first ever single, and i wanted it to be special & authentic true to my personal story . I wrote this as an anniversary gift for Marcus last year, decided to make it an actual song to surprise him today. I’m sharing this on our anniversary day itself as i want you guys to be on this journey with us & I hope you will like this as much as we do ?

Im sure you guys have had a crush, or even a best friend that was once there for u. Feel free to use your imagination and relate it to your own story .I wonder, did you have ur own teenage dream or do you still do ?

☀️ comment down below about yours’

? Team
作词/Lyrics : Wen Wei
作曲/Composition: Wen Wei
制作/ Producer: Rozhan Razman
编曲/Arrangement: Rozhan Razman, Jocelyn
导演/Video Directed: by Zakwan
视频制/Video Produced: by Gushcloud Malaysia

Special thanks to my managers Nicole, Zakwan, Danial, Sanndran & gushcloud team for putting this dream together. Special thanks to my friends for believing in me always.

Special thanks to you for listening :’) Y’all made it happen, im so thankful.


You are loved,


- wen wei

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✌?Social Media
Instagram : wenweiyy
Twitter : https://twitter.com/wenweiyy?lang=en
Tiktok : https://www.tiktok.com/@wenweiyy?lang=en

?business contact :
wenwei@gushcloudtalent.com
#WenWei #TeenageDream #Single

This song was composed by the end of 2017. The main story for this song is based on a true story.

Song & Lyrics by Hazwani Helmi

我是谷阿莫的主頻道，影片主要會在這邊更新，若是此頻道出問題，可以去副頻道觀看。
若有問題請直接寄信給我：amoverygood@gmail.com
主 頻 道：https://goo.gl/5TpPdd
生活頻道：https://goo.gl/TYhtGM ←新頻道，你訂閱了嗎
副 頻 道：https://goo.gl/dzR2RA
小 窩：https://goo.gl/eSVK2E

我是谷阿莫，very good的阿莫，科科，來這邊只是聽我說一個我喜歡的故事，我不評論原始故事背後的含意或導演拍攝的用意，因為那些東西每個人都有不同的看法，有空還是要自己去看原創故事喔，謝謝。