My husband and I work quite a bit from home and these are some tips that have really helped us navigate work and family life together.
Each family dynamic is different, and what might work for one family, may look very different for another. The key using Respectful Parenting principles is just to let love lead.
Be kind to one another as well as yourself. Prep. Listen. Empathize. Acknowledge. Sit. Empower.
This is a new normal for many in what is an unprecedented move and will take a little time to adjust. To learn what works and what doesn't and there will be days that you definitely learn what doesn't. Or that it is less than what you expected or wanted that day to be. But maybe the next day or the day after you'll learn what does.
And when it falls apart some days, which it will. We've had different iterations of working from home since Ella Grace was born and there's been lots of giant failwhale moments even with the best laid plans. In those moments, the biggest things my husband and I needed to do was to breathe it all out, sit with all those uncomfortable feelings of hard and growth and guilt and overwhelm, allow it to surface and not build resentment, ask what it was here to teach us, let it go, forgive ourselves as much as each other, pick it all and each other up, call all the pieces back, and start again.
One step at a time, one day at a time.
Let love lead.
You got this mama, I'm rooting for you.
***
WORKING FROM HOME TOGETHER
1. Ask what's important. This is something we did together as a family and is pivotal. Asking what each other needed, what would help, what would not help, how we saw this working out really help everyone get on the same page. We wrote and listed down everything we talked about which really helped us all visually build a schedule as well as know and manage each others expectations.
2. Designate work and non-work time. This is crucial and will make a huge amount of difference. A schedule and routine helps give everyone structure to the day which is very comforting when so much is up in the air. It also allows everyone to be really present whether at work or with each other. Work is work time, play is really play time.
3. Connect to disconnect. If your little one is interrupting a lot, they are seeking for an emotional refueling and connection. If you are able to, fill up that tank through play and presence. When you first start and especially if you don't normally get a lot of time with them, they will crave for this a lot and follow you everywhere. Keep filling that tank, ideally designating specific refueling time (refer above!!) imagining it as in the negative, and when you can get it full, you'll be amazed at how well and willing they will be to separate and do their own thing.
4. Welcome interruptions lovingly but stay focused and come back to it. Take and build in breaks - ask if you need to connect, limit, set, prioritize, or nourish.
5. Sit by a window and bathe in natural light, preferable with some view of green with a giant bottle of water next to you - stay hydrated! Healthy snacks also help your brain get into a theta wave which is the most receptive to information and learning. I sit next to a giant window in our living room and it helps me not go stir-crazy!
6. Better yet, take lots of movement breaks. Exercise over eating allows your brain to stay in the theta wave the longest which is really where your brain is at it's optimum. The movement helps you get it all out and cope better by also releasing a flood of happy hormones. We try to start our day with a little 20-30min family exercise, it doesn't have to be fancy. Sometimes it's a little circuit that we build in our living room, a yoga or zumba video, or even just a dance party.
7. You don't have to "dress up" but it's important that you get dressed, brush your teeth, wash your face, prep yourself. It will really help you move from sloth to work mode. 😅❤️
8. Designate a work area and space. We live in a little apartment in the city but having designated work spaces is so important to help us keep focused and "in the zone".
9. Quiet is ideal but if not, earplugs or headphones work too when you need it.
10. Don't micromanage, you'll go crazy. Allow and trust everyone the beauty of discovery. What works for them, what doesn't. How creative they can get. How to regulate. How to ask for what they need or don't.
11. Be flexible and open as much as possible to change and new experiences and ideas as well as little mess. Again, we have a little 1500sqft condo in the city and we're actually on day 12 of self-quarantine so being mindful that this is a shared space for all of us means allowing Ella Grace to "dress up" our living room, leave different creations at different stages as she free plays, or being kind on ourselves in terms of what housework we can manage today if our plate is especially full or if we are just tired.
12. 20 minute shakedowns are your friend. We play this game in the evenings or when we need it and it's called a 20min shakedown. We set the timer for 20mins and everyone earnestly picks up, cleans up, puts away, the crazy of the day. The key is to really walk away at the 20min mark even if it's not perfect. What this does is that because you know it's only going to be 20mins, everyone tries their hardest and makes it fun instead of never-ending. Better yet, everyone is happy to do it again the next time!
13. Plan your time strategically. Mornings for me are for correspondence/follow-up/emails as I know I'm likely more to be interrupted then so pick tasks that would be easy to get back into. Nap time is calls or anything I might need to get done during the day that works better with minimal interruption. I usually "clock-off" at 3/4pm to play with Ella Grace (connect to disconnect!!) before I start dinner and usually go back to work at about 8/9pm to do the more serious thinking stuff that requires quiet like writing articles, designing workshops, working on slides, etc.
14. Schedule in marriage time. J and I are technically colleagues and we also run a business together. It's easy to get stuck in work mode so being sure that work is work and marriage is marriage also helps a lot. We make sure to "date" each other after Ella Grace goes to bed at night. It doesn't have to be fancy, a shared dessert, cuddling and watching a movie together, talking about our day. However and whatever your love languages are, honor that.
15. Be kind. To yourself, to your little one, to each other. It's hard heart work and it's constantly learning and unlearning. Choose to find joy. In the little things, in the big things. This too will pass, mama. We love you and are standing in the light with you. <3
📷 That Wild Road Photography
exercise before or after dinner 在 Milton Goh Blog and Sermon Notes Facebook 的最讚貼文
Enjoying Favor with God and Man
“When he went into the house of one of the rulers of the Pharisees on a Sabbath to eat bread, they were watching him. Behold, a certain man who had dropsy was in front of him. Jesus, answering, spoke to the lawyers and Pharisees, saying, “Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?” But they were silent. He took him, and healed him, and let him go. He answered them, “Which of you, if your son or an ox fell into a well, wouldn’t immediately pull him out on a Sabbath day?” They couldn’t answer him regarding these things. He spoke a parable to those who were invited, when he noticed how they chose the best seats, and said to them, “When you are invited by anyone to a marriage feast, don’t sit in the best seat, since perhaps someone more honorable than you might be invited by him, and he who invited both of you would come and tell you, ‘Make room for this person.’ Then you would begin, with shame, to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when he who invited you comes, he may tell you, ‘Friend, move up higher.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”” (Luke 14:1-11 WEB)
Have you ever had dinner at the same table with a renowned world leader? Perhaps you’ll make sure to dress your best, put on your best mannerisms, show your best side and all these efforts are just to please men to gain their favor for an ulterior motive, or because you’re afraid of what they would think if you don’t behave as expected.
It’s just like our Lord Jesus to attend a party held by a so-called important person and turn it upside down!
Amidst all the bootlickers who wanted to curry favor with the ruler of the Pharisees, Jesus didn’t care about anyone’s prejudices.
He set His sights on someone He could heal—Jesus was going to do it whether the pretentious religious leaders felt comfortable about it or not.
Jesus didn’t come to play politics or to be liked by the masses. He came to save us to the uttermost, regardless of what has to be done.
If Jesus had a PR manager, that person would greatly advise against healing someone on the Sabbath, in the house of the ruler of the Pharisees. That’s like choosing to offend everyone at once—a major PR disaster.
None of the guests dared to answer Jesus—they were all ensnared by the fear of man’s opinions.
“The fear of man proves to be a snare, but whoever puts his trust in Yahweh is kept safe. Many seek the ruler’s favor, but a man’s justice comes from Yahweh.” (Proverbs 29:25-26 WEB)
Oftentimes, we are also afraid of being judged by others and worried what others would think of us.
However when it comes to doing the right thing in God’s eyes, versus pleasing men who don’t care about you that much anyway, we can rely on the Holy Spirit to empower us to do what’s right, even when it’s not the popular choice.
Just because everyone else is compromising, doesn’t mean you have to do it too just to fit in.
Let’s use a rather sensitive example: Premarital sex. If you’re still a virgin and you’re intending to stay that way until after marriage, good for you!
You don’t have to be sleeping around like people of the world, just because the ‘cool’ ones are doing it—they have no self-control and are ignorant about the harm they are inflicting upon their own bodies (forming unwanted connections in the flesh).
“Don’t you know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! Or don’t you know that he who is joined to a prostitute is one body? For, “The two”, he says, “will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit. Flee sexual immorality! “Every sin that a man does is outside the body,” but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:15-18 WEB)
Perhaps you are like the man with dropsy, who couldn’t even join in the pretentious game with the other religious leaders.
Even if he could gain the favor of the ruler of the Pharisees, what could he possibly do for him?
That mortal ruler didn’t have the power to rid him of the swelling in his body.
The man’s swollen body must have caused him to be embarrassed and ashamed. No matter how hard he tried to fit in and act like the rest, he would always stick out like a sore thumb.
Maybe you’re a straightforward person who can’t stand to think before you talk or be tactful when you speak or act—you just don’t fit in.
Or it could be that you’re a non-conformist who can’t bring yourself to follow the crowd and it’s trends—and for that, nobody wants to be associated with you.
Well, Jesus healed that man with dropsy. If anyone was happy at that awkward party, it was the man who received his healing!
You don’t even have to read any books about the 10 steps to make people like you.
Just like how Jesus took the man and initiated the healing miracle, He will also take you and transform you without your own efforts.
The man with dropsy thought he was going for a party to try and gain favor from the ruler, when actually the true Ruler of Heaven and earth chose to favor him.
It’s by God’s goodness, not your obedience—just believe that.
Jesus pulled the religious masks off the religious leaders’ faces when He asked the question about the son and the ox falling into the well.
If it was the ruler of the Pharisee’s son that fell in a well, do you really think he would care that it was a Sabbath day?
He would ask his servants to get his son out of the well immediately.
Religiosity is hypocrisy. It has the outward appearance of holiness but the moment something is against his fleshly interests, the religious person compromises on the laws he demands others to follow.
Jesus proceeded to give wise advice. Instead of trying to please men and gain their favor with your self-efforts, rely on God to give you favor with them.
The moment you cease from trying to be liked, fit in or become popular and just rest in God’s favor that’s always upon you, God can give you uncommon favor with the right person who can turn the whole situation around for your good.
That’s one of the ironies of life. The harder you try to be liked, the more dislikable you are to others.
But when you don’t try at all and just humbly rely on God’s favor, He will exalt you in the sight of all.
In other words, don’t focus on moving up to a higher place—you’ll end up thinking too much about it and trying hard to reach it by your own efforts.
Set your eyes on Jesus who is seated far above all kingdoms and dominions, and He will give you the wisdom, power and favor to unconsciously move up higher while you’re still transfixed by His perfect majesty!
Today’s Spiritual Exercise:
Need someone to favor you? Confess that you have favor with him or her because God is on your side to give you favor with all men. You don’t have to earn it—just receive it by faith.
Become a patron and receive our new special Christmas series “37 Miracles of Jesus”, as well as other attractive rewards in return for your support: http://Patreon.com/miltongohblog
In this series, you’ll:
- Receive bold faith for miracles—stepping out from a powerless form of Christianity, into the kind that God intended!
- Understand the significance of the miracles of Jesus Christ—and why the Holy Spirit chose to feature them in the four gospels even though Jesus worked countless other miracles.
- Receive a powerful, uplifting message about Jesus and His power and goodness every day that refreshes your soul and prepares you to have a worshipful, meaningful Christmas.
#37MiraclesofJesus #BibleStudy
exercise before or after dinner 在 CheckCheckCin Facebook 的最佳貼文
【睡得是福】如何做個睡寶寶?
#睡不好老得快
#最重要是尋找失眠原因
#星期三CheckCheckMail
睡得多不如睡得好
多夢人:「最近心情欠佳,做事提不起勁,放工後直接吃飽就睡,每晚睡足十小時但仍然感覺疲累,半夜容易醒又多夢,怎麼辦?」
CheckCheckCin:中醫理論認為「藥補不如食補,食補不如睡補」睡得好是人生一大課題,最理想的睡眠應該質量俱佳,睡醒後疲勞盡消,並且恢復體力和精神。從中醫角度來看,難以入睡、易醒、醒後不能再度入睡均屬於失眠範疇,而失眠與心、肝、腎三個臟器最有關聯,如果失眠再加上煩躁、鬱悶、口苦眼乾、小便短赤等症狀,很有可能是肝氣不舒,肝鬱化火,不妨多飲用有疏肝解鬰功效的花茶,以及留意以下助眠小貼士,希望能助你晚晚好眠。
助眠小貼士:
- 日間做適量帶氧運動
- 睡前不過飢或過飽
- 睡前至少半小時放下電話
- 睡前避免喝茶、咖啡、奶茶、酒精飲品
減壓雙花蜜茶
功效:解鬰安神
材料:茉莉花3克、合歡花6克、蜂蜜適量
做法:乾材料洗淨放入保溫瓶,注入熱開水沖洗一遍,再注入熱開水焗約5分鐘,聞到花香即可,最後加入適量蜂蜜調味。此茶可沖泡至味淡。
Sleep quality trumps sleep quantity
"I have been in a bad mood recently. I don't seem to have energy for anything. I have dinner after work and go straight to bed. After 10 hours of sleep daily, I still feel tired. I wake up easily in the middle of the night and dream a lot. What can I do?"
CheckCheckCin: Chinese medicine theory believes that nourishing your body through food is better than medicine, and sleeping well is better than eating well. Sleep is an important thing in life, and it is ideal to have enough quality sleep so that you can be energized and have energy. From Chinese medicine perspective, difficulty falling asleep, easily awaken from sleep, difficulty going back to sleep after waking are all considered a form of insomnia. Insomnia is mostly related to these three organs- heart, liver and kidneys. If insomnia is accompanied by irritability, depression, bitter mouth, dry eyes, reddish and short urination and other symptoms, you likely have stagnation of liver qi and liver depression which can cause heat in body. You should drink more floral tea to relieve depression, and pay attention to the following tips to improve sleep quality.
Tips for better sleep:
- Do the right amount of cardio exercise during the day
- Do not become too hungry or too full before going to bed
- Put down the phone for at least half an hour before going to bed
- Avoid drinking tea, coffee, milk tea, alcoholic drinks before going to bed
Floral tea with honey to de-stress
Effects: relieves depression and calms the mind
Ingredients: 3g jasmine, 6g albizia flower, appropriate amounts of honey
Preparation: rinse all dry ingredients thoroughly and place into thermos, rinse with hot water once. Then add in hot water again and steep for 5 minutes until aroma develops. Add honey to taste. You can re-brew until its flavor weakens.
#男 #女 #我煩躁 #我有壓力 #氣滯 #失眠