Bertunang dan berkahwin ni nampak indah tapi realitinya hanya yang melalui je tahu. Siapa yang rancang nak bertunang tu, korang tengok ujian dan cabaran yang selalu orang bertunang hadap. Ikut dan hayati baik baik , yang mana buruk jadikan tauladan dan yang mana baik ambil sebagai pedoman 🌸
Situasi 1: DIUJI DENGAN MASALAH KEWANGAN
godaan: gunalah duit sikit untuk melabur. lepas dua tiga bulan dapat duit lebih, boleh guna tampung majlis. kahwin banyak pakai duit. kurang sike...
Continue ReadingGetting engaged and married looks beautiful but the reality is only those who know. Whoever plans to get engaged, look at the tests and challenges that people always get engaged in. Follow and appreciate good good, which is bad make an example and which is better take as a guideline 🌸
Situation 1: TESTED WITH FINAL PROBLEMS
Temptation: use some money to invest. After two three months of earning extra money, you can use the event. Married a lot with money. Just a little less now. later can replace more
IMPORTANT NOTE: make sure the ready-kept marriage money is not teased by side. If you have extra money, you can use it. But if that money is enough for marriage needs. It's good to prioritize the important thing, discuss with your partner to decide. There's one case, regretting myself because of using dowry money to join the business, at last, I didn't get money Wedding has to be tough
Situation 2. PRESENTATION OF UNLIMITED GUEST (ex)
temptation: i love you again. If I propose to you? I'm waiting for you. I'm willing to wait for you until you divorce and etc
IMPORTANT REMINDER: why did she become an ex? because she is EXperienced! let go and start! Appreciate those who appreciate more. if it wasn't a good love before. it's time to prove we can be the best love! Let go.. start a new story that can be the most beautiful story for children and grandchildren. God willing.
Situation 3: TESTED WITH ATTITUDE
temptation: suddenly engagement becomes too sensitive, angry, less patient
IMPORTANT NOTE, when you want to marry. Definitely putting us in a stressful level. Because there's a lot of things to think about, settled. Added to the feeling of commitment (feeling like a husband, wife), so he becomes more care. Simple things become complicated. The devil has added a dose to cancel the good things. It's getting more exploding! Patience.. this time everyone has to play a role. You won't settle things in anger. Invite to pray, to study. take ablution. When two two are calm. Discuss without emotion. the important thing is. Remember the original intention! Married because of Allah. Look at the problem. Discuss the discharge. Don't focus on the cause. lower your ego and learn to accept and listen. insyaAllah will be better than before fighting.
Situation 4: TESTED WITH HOUBT
temptation: do you want to marry him? but why?. don't you feel young anymore? Many more ambitions to achieve? Are you ready to be a wife? and etc
This one is all natural. Married because I want to accept Allah. If you want to chase the world, until when will we stop chasing? maybe we die running after him. Stop thinking negatively! No one is ready. The most important thing is try to be ready. Seek knowledge (read books, talk and others). Is it a question that I can't be a wife or a daughter that's the experience. Repair from mistakes. example, cooking is not delicious, after this fix the cooking. We won't be perfect. But we can work hard, right? Change the mindset!
Temptation II: is it true that I want to marry him. If you want to say (rich or handsome or good or good or....) that A person looks better than my fiance
* istigfar. back with the original intention. Married because of what? This is a partner even though we clearly see the shortcomings, his weaknesses, we can't hate. even though her face may be full of acne and others. We feel calm looking at it. When you fight, you still feel like being together. Praying to Allah so that the love of him will be stronger, the love of Allah is stronger
Situation 5. PRESSURE OF FAMILY & FAMILY OF FUTURE HUSBAND
Temptation: When you know the family of future couples, setting up dowry, etc, there may be a terrible sense of their decision.
No matter what, we don't judge someone too quickly while we don't know them completely.
Family, feeling hearted in the family, starting to feel right to my mother-in-law will like me, is it true that my brother-in-law will be willing to me, this is all from the devil who always haunts us to cancel our good intentions
Situation 6. STARTING TO BE CAREFUL
After all sorts of tests came over, some of them started to give up and weren't interested in continuing the engagement period.
Survey first the cause of giving heart and try to solve it as long as you can.
Situation 7. EMOTIONS ARE NOT STABILOUS
Some are not happy to sit down when tying the engagement rope. Sometimes sad, angry, too happy, and some keep thinking of his fiance while some have long known his own heart.
When you're friends, you might not feel how serious this relationship is, and how committed you are to a marriage that's about to happen. So, maybe this reason makes you restless and anxious.
Situaso 8. AFRAID OF WRONG DECISION
Temptation: Between phobia and challenges during engagement, some start to show up the real 'attitude'. So, you start to feel doubtful about your choice.
According to Suzana Ghazali, a Syarie Family Psychology Consultant, the Islamic Family Law decides that an individual can obtain a replacement if an engagement is decided by the other side without a strong reason.
Thus, you deserve to receive any form of your gift to her, especially if you spent a lot of money on a wedding to be held.
Situation 9. JEALOUS BLIND
Oh yes, sometimes there are people who suddenly get too jealous and always want to control their fiance's movement. This is a challenge when engagement is common.
While this man is not yet entitled to be obeyed by the woman before pronouncing the marriage ceremony. So is a woman who doesn't have the right to ask for any form of burden from the man.
However, as a Muslim, we must keep our friendship even where we are, whether we are engaged or not
Situation 10. BUSY OF WEDDING MARRIAGE
Busy ahead of wedding ceremony! In the last moment, it's not impossible that it doesn't go as planned. However, this is beyond our control.
Challenges during engagement among them can happen technical mistakes in quotations, change in ceremony, wedding dresses don't fit or wrong sewing, and more
p / s: just share good intentions, want to be halal. It's not easy, there are many challenges that have to be taken before the legal bond.
Want to get married right. whatever it is, every test. Seek Allah! The test is a sign that we need to be stronger with God. May this sharing be blessed. May Allah accept it. Actually, as Muslims, we have to believe that all the challenges during engagement that come are from Allah, as a test to His servants.
Therefore, no matter what the challenges when engaged happen, we should always accept and ask for help from the Almighty. Truly, Allah knows more about something we don't know.
In addition, try to get closer to Allah before we set foot in the household, in preparation of being the leader and mentor of the family institutions that will be established.
As in surah Al-Imran verse 54:
′′ And They Plan, Allah also plans, And ALLAH is the best Planner ′′
📸: Elshaa NatashaaTranslated
legal psychology 在 Scholarship for Vietnamese students Facebook 的最讚貼文
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legal psychology 在 柳俊江 Lauyeah Facebook 的最佳解答
「未 Fact Check」、「希望炒車」⋯謠言滿天飛的日子,除非把握真憑實據,否則隨便湊合附和,實在有點不負責任。
為甚麼謠言會傳播?社會心理學家曾經提出過:
R (Rumor) ≈ i (importance) × a (ambiguity)
[Psychology of Rumor, Allport and Postman (1947)]
意思是謠言的力度,是其背後的重要性乘以模糊度。注意,不是「加」,是「乘」(Multiply)。重要性和模糊度任何一個元素的增長,都足以令謠言的力度倍數加強。
先講模糊。政府各部門已經用力澄清,「沒有在執法中出現死亡個案」,本應一點不含糊。過往做傳媒的經驗,人命傷亡數字,以官方公佈為依歸,從來是可信,市民也少有異議。為甚麼2019年的今天,政府(尤其是警方)的公佈,其公信力如此低下?引用裁判法院檢控主任協會主席黃華芬的公開信一段:「Please advise the police on this important matter of honesty and reliability affecting the legal system of Hong Kong.」除了司法制度,市民的信任何嘗不是首當其衝,被毀於一旦?當記者鏡頭外的恐慌不能靠政府釐清,市民自然置身於迷霧裡。
至於重要性,由6月開始,整個社會無意間在散播一種恐怖:「不知道第一條人命在甚麼時候犧牲。」植根於每一個人心中,其一是出人命對事態走向的影響,其二是關顧自身和親友的安全。隨著警察武力的瘋狂升級,以及更多在暗角的行徑,例如新屋嶺懷疑虐犯、警黑合作、武警混入疑雲,種種表象無不是走向市民心底恐𢣷的實現。到太子封站,秘而不宣,直接引爆各種謠言,這是必然的後果。
事情還沒完沒了,因為對一般市民而言,「寧可信其有」,口耳相傳危機意識,不論是否有事實根據,起碼可作「善意提醒」,又或「尋求真相」之出發點,這是群眾心理走向使然。然後,更多的「證據」出現,很多的自殺和浮屍,因為心理上的自我實現傾向,相信政府隱瞞真相的人,自然認定是「政府陰謀」。雖然邏輯地說,我們不能排除其他可能性:例如是正常數字在大眾關注下產生了放大效應,又或是悲情城市引爆更多不幸自殺個案(參考數字,2017年共有916宗自殺,2003年有1264宗,自殺數字明顯和社會氣氛和經濟相關)。不過,似乎再難以有權威去說服任何人。
廢話了這麼多,不是說要去否定,或去認定某一面推崇的「真相」,我也難以掌握任何真憑實據。坦白說,在這個氛圍裡,我也難去信任任何一個官方證詞,情緒十分困擾。冷靜下來,想指出的是,這種不信任的發酵,十分有可能是下一個引爆社會事件升級的近因,各方不能不察。而反過來有心利用謠言,製造事件的任何人,也應該三思可能帶來的後果。
很多人謂政府需有「大智慧」去解決問題。我肯定地說,「大誠信」來得更為迫切,更為重要。