I can’t help but write it down when watching Marshall Rosenberg’s session about nonviolent communication:
“If you want to avoid hurting other people, the only way I can offer you to do that is to become a nice dead person.”
LOL. So true. We can never please and satisfy everyone. Even when you try to be the nicest person in the world, probably to 99% of the people in your life, chances are there would still always be 1 person out there saying that you are so fake and there could never be such a likable person like you exist. Well, there are many situations like that for you to test that out - you name it. When you talk too little - people judge you as “socially awkward” and not-their-favorite introvert, but if you try to talk more - they will say that you are irritating and tell you just to “be yourself” (?!). In the end of the day, adjusting our behaviors towards others’ opinions only makes us exhausted. And I‘d argue it even gradually affects your own sense of who you really are.
I would rather be a "bad" f*cking living woman than being a nice dead person.
Of course, I can only say that after I, myself, had tried to be a pleaser and live up to others’ expectation for years (don’t get me wrong, I’m still grateful for that period as it undeniably made me the person I am today), ‘till a point when I felt literally “dead” inside - I don’t know who I was anymore. I was tired and lost. Until I learn how to love and live my true self - just me, no filter. It’s tough and I am still practicing it everyday, but at least I feel happy and relieved.
