【一切的失敗和不足,都是最美好的安排】
All Failures & Lacks Are The Best Things to Happen to Us
三個月前,收到來自台灣客人的這封電郵時,開心和心酸交織著在心裡。
開心,因為這是一年前通過Zoom視訊的客人。他居然在我們看八字的一週年,特地寫了封感謝函給我,真有心!
心酸,因為他寫在電郵裡的低落心情,我完完全全明白。
他的經歷,是我的曾經。我當初也是很難,很久才能走出來。
有一回,我為一位芳華正茂的女子批八字時,她很用心的寫下我說的話。
論寫筆記的完整,她是我客人當中的佼佼者。
寫到一半,我注意到她的右手開始微微顫抖。我以為是空調的風太大了,冷到她,便問她要不要披巾。
她說,是她的焦慮症發作。
「我沒在兇你,也沒對你嚴厲,你為何突然焦慮?」
「我.....打從今年疫情打亂了我的計畫,我就一直很焦慮。我覺得我很沒用,同學們都前進了,只有我現在什麼都不是,亂糟糟的。我就一直很緊張,萬一我一直都是這樣,怎麼辦?」
說著,她眼眶一紅,眼淚像斷了線的珍珠鏈似的灑下來。
我的媽呀!是我的樣子長得很催淚,還是我的聲音聽起來很虐心?怎麼客人,不分男女老少,東南西北,看到我好像都很容易哭?
我抓起一張紙巾遞給她。
「所以,我不是來了嗎?你來找我,就是要問個明路,而你很幸運那麼快就看到我啦!你看你的筆記寫得多工整,多齊全。我很多客人都不如你啊!我今天的工作,就是來給你答案的。我沒有把握,也不會接你這份差事。我接了,就代表還可以補救。你照著我的指示去做,一定柳暗花明又一村。」
又另一回,一位四十多歲的媽媽請我看兒子的八字。
我在批著八字時,這位媽媽點頭認同,然後就聲淚俱下。
我轉頭看著她沈默不語的先生。我說錯了什麼嗎?太太哭成淚人,你怎麼連紙巾也不拿給她啊?
「我是個沒有用的母親,很不稱職的母親。我沒有辦法教好孩子。我很愛他,可是很多時候我都不知道要怎麼做,我就會對他發脾氣,說狠話,過後我又後悔。我忍下來,可是後來還是會一樣!」
我沒打斷她,等她的哭聲逐漸小聲後,我柔柔的說:「我來啦!我坐在你前面了。你已經看到我,就是有辦法了。你知道你自己不行,會去找辦法,就代表你願意去學習做個好媽媽啊!」
我把紙巾遞給她,再說:「不要哭了,要不然,別人看了以為是我不要借你錢,才把你弄得那麼傷心。」
曾幾何時,我們都會以外在所擁有的,來定義自己的人生是否值得自己喜歡。
從原生家庭、樣貌、健康、身型、智力、天賦等,到後來的學歷、友情、事業、財富、婚姻、子女......
哪一樣沒有,而偏偏是我們最想要的,我們就會認定自己失敗的一塌糊塗。
我認為這就是普通教育最大的問題所在。父母老師都是這樣把我們「分門別類」的。值不值得父母疼愛或向親朋戚友炫耀,也離不開那幾點。
久而久之,我們也只會以「成功」來定義自己是否有價值,甚至來衡量自己是否有活下去的勇氣。
我比較喜歡佛法的定義。我們每個人都是一尊佛,六道眾生皆有佛性,只因一時的迷,因此墮落在苦輪不停的輪迴。
可正因為我們有佛性,我們都有無窮無盡的可能。每個人的內在有著很強大的力量,等著我們遇到明師後,去發掘、探索和了解。
而這天生俱來的力量,就是你改命立命的資本。
如果人生順風順水,我們永遠不會想要出離,誤把人間當極樂,所以一定要有苦,我們才會意識到,為什麼我們會在這鬼地方?要怎麼樣才可以離開這鬼地方去到極樂?
反過來,我們都應該感恩自己遇到的挫折,因為從這些苦中,我們才能生出智慧。
沒有一個八字是完美的。一切的失敗和不足,都是最美好的安排,如此你才會有出離心,返本歸源。
_______________________
3 months ago, when I received this email from my Taiwan client, there was this feeling of bittersweetness.
I was happy because this was the client I did a Zoom consultation last June. He sent me this email on the one-year anniversary date of our Zoom call, to express his gratitude. How sweet!
On the other hand, I could relate to the emotional turmoil he felt at that point in his life.
His experience was my past. It also took me a very long time to walk out from my gloominess.
Once, I analysed the Bazi of a very young lady. She was meticulously jotting down notes as I spoke.
Her detailed note-taking skills easily took the top place among my clients.
Halfway through, I noticed her right hand was trembling slightly. I thought it was due to the cold draft from the air conditioning, so I asked if she needed a shawl.
She replied that it was her anxiety disorder acting up.
“I was not fierce or strict with you. What caused your sudden anxiety?”
“I…ever since the pandemic disrupted my plans, I have been in this state of anxiety. I kept feeling useless. All my classmates are progressing expect me. I have nothing to show for and my life is in a mess. I am very anxious. What if I continue to be like this? What am I going to do?”
As she spoke, her eyes turned red and tears started rolling down like a broken strand of pearl necklace scattering onto the ground.
Oh dear! I am beginning to wonder if I have a tear-jerker face or a heart-tormenting voice. Why do my clients, regardless of gender and age, North South or East West, seem to cry easily when they see me?
I grabbed a piece of tissue and handed it to her.
“Ain’t I here already? You came to me for a roadmap and you are very lucky to see me so soon. Look at how precise and neat your notes are! Many of my clients aren’t even on par with you. My job today is to give you answers. If I didn’t have the confidence, I would not have taken up your request. Now that I did, that means there is still hope. If you follow my instructions, you will see things looking up very soon.”
On another occasion, a mother in her forties came to me for her son’s Bazi consultation.
As I was analysing, the mother nodded her head in agreement. The next thing I know, she started weeping loudly.
I turned to look at her husband, who had been silent all along. Did I say something wrong? And hello, your wife was crying. Why weren’t you gentleman enough to give her a tissue paper?
“I am a useless mother. I am incompetent. I do not know how to teach my son well. I love my son very much. But many times, I do not know what to do and thus I flare up at him and speak harshly. I always regret afterwards. I tried enduring but it still ends badly!”
I did not interrupt her and waited for her cries to soften, before speaking gently, “I’m here! I’m already sitting in front of you. You are looking at me now and that means help is here. You know that you are incompetent, so you went looking for solutions. That means you are willing to learn how to be a better mother!”
I handed a piece of tissue and said, “Don’t cry anymore, otherwise, other patrons will think that it’s because I refuse to lend you money.”
Since young, we have been using external possessions to define whether our lives are worth liking.
The family we are born into, our looks, health, body shape, intellect, talents, and then we move on to compare our academics, friendships, career, wealth, marriage and children.
If we are lacking in the area we covet most, we grade our lives as a failure.
I think this is the biggest problem in societal education. Our parents and teachers categorized us that way. Whether we as children are worthy of their love and bragging, depends on the few points above too.
Thus over time, we can only use the term “success” to determine whether we are of value, for some people, whether they should live on to take their next breath.
I very much prefer the definition in Buddhism. We are all Buddhas. Each and every sentient being in the six realms has a Buddha nature in them. But they got lost momentarily and fell into the endless wheel of reincarnation.
Yet, because of our Buddha nature, we have an unlimited source of potential. Every one of us has a very powerful strength inside us. It is just waiting for us to meet an accomplished teacher, so that we have the tools to explore and understand it:
And this strength that we are born with is the capital for us to transform and establish our own destiny.
If life is smooth-sailing, we would never want to leave and would mistake this mortal realm for Pureland. Thus, we all need sufferings, to realise that we should break out of this hell of a place. There has to be a better world somewhere. So how we get there?
We should, in fact, be grateful for all the setbacks and failures we have. Because it is from these sufferings, our wisdom arise:
No single Bazi is perfect. Every failure and lack we experience is the best arrangement for us, so that the heart of renunciation will arise in us and we will return to where we came from.
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「she is lack of confidence」的推薦目錄:
- 關於she is lack of confidence 在 謙預 Qianyu.sg Facebook 的最佳貼文
- 關於she is lack of confidence 在 雲文子 Facebook 的最讚貼文
- 關於she is lack of confidence 在 Charlotte In White 林偉欣 Facebook 的最佳解答
- 關於she is lack of confidence 在 FABIO GRANGEON 法比歐 Youtube 的最佳解答
- 關於she is lack of confidence 在 What's a word for lack of confidence? - English StackExchange 的評價
- 關於she is lack of confidence 在 7 Signs You Lack Confidence - YouTube 的評價
she is lack of confidence 在 雲文子 Facebook 的最讚貼文
《South China Morning Post》
Which Chinese zodiac sign will have the best 2021? Year of the Ox predictions for love, health, career and wealth
https://www.scmp.com/lifestyle/arts-culture/article/3121172/which-chinese-zodiac-sign-will-have-best-2021-year-ox
• Those born in the year of the tiger and rabbit will prosper this year and Hong Kong’s luck will improve overall, a feng shui expert says
• But those born in the year of the ox, horse, sheep and dog can expect a difficult and challenging year
• Those who feel beaten down by the coronavirus pandemic and economic downturn that plagued the Year of the Rat, take heart.
• Starting on Friday, which marks the first day of the Year of the Ox, Hong Kong’s collective fortune is about to change – for the better.
• According to feng shui expert Yunwenzi, or Master Cloud, the new year will be one of nourishment and healing. However, while the city’s overall luck is expected to improve, what the Year of the Ox has in store for us individually will largely depend on the Chinese zodiac sign we were born under.
• To help you navigate through the coming year, here are some tips on the dos and don’ts from Yunwenzi that promise to help each animal sign find health, love and prosperity.
Ox
For those born in the Year of Ox, take heed. This is also a year in which your zodiac sign is at odds with the guardian god Tai Sui (or Fan Tai Shui), who determines the fortunes and setbacks of mortals.
Oxen will face a number of issues in their career in the coming year. Beware of back-stabbing colleagues or getting into disputes. Focus on your work to avoid unnecessary mistakes at work.
“The ox should beware of the risk of getting fired in the coming year. They’ll lack luck and it may be hard for them to get a new job,” warns Yunwenzi. “It is also difficult for them to accumulate wealth this year as they may make bad investment decisions. They should not invest in projects which they are unfamiliar with.”
Oxen will not enjoy much romance either over the next 12 months; try not to look for partners in clubs or at parties. Illnesses will be a problem too, owing to their weak immune system, so they need to take extra care of themselves.
Tiger
Contrary to those born in the Year of the Ox, the tiger is the luckiest of all the 12 zodiac animals this year. They will encounter plenty of gui ren – helpful people – who will help them realise their plans. Tigers should take advantage of the momentum and explore different possibilities. It will be a good time to start a business.
They are also lucky in love this year. For those seeking a relationship, seize the opportunities and enjoy the many pleasant romantic encounters.
“Widening their social circle not only brings them unexpected rewards but also boosts their overall luck in the year,” Yunwenzi explains.
But she reminds the tigers not to be arrogant and opinionated, as having good fortune does not necessarily mean all their actions are without consequences. For those who frequently attend social events, try not to overeat or else risk suffering from cardiovascular diseases.
Rabbit
The Year of the Ox is good for those born under the Rabbit sign. Everything will be quite rosy and they will be able to bounce back from rock bottom. Filled with positivity and optimism, this is a good year for them to set goals and go in new directions.
However, unlike the tigers, there are not many gui ren around for the rabbits and they pretty much have to rely on themselves to get things done. At work, their effort will be recognised by their superior and there might be a chance of promotion.
Romance is also in the air for the rabbits – but mind that large age gap. Patience and mutual understanding are needed if they want to establish a strong relationship.
The rabbit should avoid strenuous exercise to prevent injuries to the limbs.
Dragon
A stable and average year ahead for those born in the Year of the Dragon: their career will come to a standstill, which will make them doubt their working abilities. Yet, a twist of fate is expected after mid-autumn so it’s worth waiting for the opportunity to present itself.
Although dragons will have many romantic encounters this year, they may still end up unsatisfied as they are not devoting much time to nurture their relationship(s). Their impulsiveness also means they easily fall in love with the wrong person.
The dragon will have a weak lung this year, associated with respiratory diseases. They may also be prone to bad skin.
Snake
It will be a year filled with both fortune and risk for snakes. Since you will be surrounded by people, unexpected opportunities will arise from your growing social network.
“Their rising popularity may also attract people who speak with a ‘forked tongue’. They should work more and talk less. Their hard work will pay off,” says Yunwenzi.
Unmarried snakes will stay single this year because they are too picky. They are advised to lower their requirements when looking for a partner.
Beware of health problems such as spinal disc hernia, frozen shoulder and bony spur.
Horse
This will be a roller coaster year for those born in the Year of the Horse. Their long-awaited plans will be postponed or even halted due to unexpected variables, but as the saying goes, “amid every crisis lies a great opportunity”, and career opportunities will arise during the winter.
They should stay calm and sincerely tackle difficulties faced by their colleagues and company. This will gain their boss’s trust and confidence in them.
Apart from work, sincerity is also key to success in relationships. Just be true to yourself and the right person will be attracted by your charisma. Beware of eye and head problems; headaches and dizziness may occur frequently throughout the year.
Sheep
Those born in the Year of the Sheep should expect a difficult and challenging year. They will face a lot of obstacles in all aspects of life. The Year of the Ox is not one for them to make any important decisions such as starting a business or changing jobs as their mind might be clouded with confusion.
The sheep should stop finding excuses and acting like an otaku. Actively expanding and engaging in their social circles will bring them romantic luck.
“This is a Xing Tai Sui year for sheep, which means that they should also care for their safety as it is foreseen that they may have traffic accidents within the year,” warns Yunwenzi.
Monkey
The monkey foresees a flourishing year full of opportunities and good fortune. They should be receptive to new ideas and seize golden opportunities. They will get help from a female gui ren which will help them get better results.
They will also have a breakthrough in their career. They will easily get approval from their boss and promotion is on the horizon. For those who wish to start their own business, it is a good year to test the water by setting up a low-cost online business.
Monkeys will also have a fruitful social life this year. They will have opportunities to make new friends who have charming personalities. Thanks to the monkey’s attractiveness and social popularity, sparks may fly. It is wise for monkeys to make their intentions clear from the start to avoid ambiguous signals that could damage their reputation and friendships.
Kidney deficiency is likely to emerge in the Year of the Ox. They should also be aware of lower back pain.
Rooster
Roosters will have better fortune this year. This will be a “learning year” for them so they should stop being passive and start actively fighting for opportunities. Although the outcome may be unexpected or unsatisfying, each challenge is a golden learning opportunity.
The rooster also receives blessings from Wen Chang, the god that oversees the intelligence and wisdom of mortals. They should use their time for further studies.
People born under the sign of the rooster will not have much luck in love this year. They may feel tired and lose interest in searching for love. The rooster will not suffer from any major health problems this year, though they are prone to catching minor infections.
Dog
The dog is looking at a troubling year ahead as, like those born in the Year of the Sheep, they will go through a Xing Tai Sui year. It will result in an unstable year filled with trouble and difficulties in relationships. Brace yourselves for the worst during the middle of the year.
Accumulated stress means dogs may lose their temper. Bad fortune will come knocking with all that pent-up negativity.
They will also not have any luck in relationships this year. They should choose their partner wisely and only start a relationship when they have a better understanding of their lover. Dogs should also look after their mental health. Poor stress-induced sleep quality will increase the risk of developing mental illness such as depression.
Pig
Fortune shines on the pigs this year. They are always at their best and are quick-witted. They should attend more social gatherings to broaden their network and develop new job and business opportunities. Pigs could also set a more ambitious goal this year.
Those born in the Year of the Pig may be attracted to a number of people simultaneously, and this could even develop into multiple affairs. The complicated relationships will harm their hopes for romance in the long run.
Their health is hugely improved this year, and there is no major health problem predicted.
Rat
After experiencing a terrible Year of the Rat, those born under this animal zodiac sign will see a boost in their fortunes. But they must be persistent and persevere as their luck will remain average for the first half of the year.
They are advised not to set their goals too high but keep their feet on the ground and be prepared to face any challenges. They will be able to achieve their goals in the second half of 2021.
The rat tends to be indecisive in relationships. They lack security when it comes to love, especially when potential new partners emerge on the horizon. It will make them passive and unable to devote themselves to maintaining the relationship, which will not last.
They have a weak reproductive system this year. A regular check-up is advised.
#雲文子 #奇門遁甲 #風水 #玄學天后
she is lack of confidence 在 Charlotte In White 林偉欣 Facebook 的最佳解答
I’m a very private person.
Although on the surface, over these five years, I’ve put “my life” on Instagram, showing to the public about almost everything, deep down I’m an introvert and I love privacy.
Five years ago, I started this account because of my online fashion select store. Then I became a vegetarian, later into a vegan. Then I started my blog and began to write my journey. Then, yoga meets me at where I am.
Never see myself influencing anything or anyone, after all I’m just a tiny tiny human beings who decided to peruse what she loves doing, and still struggling with lack of self confidence and depression sometimes. It is never my intention to project a “perfect healthy lifestyle”, I only wish to share with you my not very special, but truly unique journey.
I’m a very private person. But somehow sharing my thoughts and feelings here encourages me to let go of things. I see, I feel, I express and I let them go. It just happened my “journaling tools” are photos and words.
I might never be able to “teach” anything, but I’m happy to share with you my story and if you want, with the right timing, we could walk through it together. I’m not perfect, but life isn’t just about perfection. Pretty photos, beautiful feed may be eye catching... However, only true feelings and connection heals.
:)
-
🌳: 木木 Forest & Still
Photo taken at this sunset hour by my brother, in our lovely studio, along with some loving friends, wearing Siva Active
she is lack of confidence 在 FABIO GRANGEON 法比歐 Youtube 的最佳解答
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請大家訂閱為了支持我的頻道 !
///
*CHINESE:
許多人的一生中曾經面臨或正在面臨一次或是多次的憂鬱症,不論是因為感情,工作,自信的喪失或者對死亡的恐懼...
憂鬱症是一個非常私人的話題,但我們不應該害怕去跟身邊有這樣困擾的朋友們分享跟討論這個敏感的話題,反而勇敢的說出來,分享是治療的第一步!
今天是我第一次跟媽媽聊這個話題,請她跟我分享她的感受。多年與憂鬱症並肩作戰的她,我希望可以感受她的痛跟經歷,也希望今天的這個分享可以幫助到需要幫助的人找到你們的答案。
我非常的感激媽媽願意接受我這個請求,敞開心房跟我們聊聊她內心深處那敏感的世界,如果以下的訪談讓你有不好的觀感,我希望各位可以尊重媽媽的感受,給予她正面的鼓勵跟支持。
謝謝你們的支持
*English:
Depression is a feeling many of us are dealing once or more during our lifetime. Maybe because of our relationship, our work, our lack of confidence or because of some fears such as death... Depression is a very personal subject, however we should not be afraid to share it with those who surround us. Indeed, sharing is the first step to healing.
Today, for the first time I'm asking my mum to share about her feelings. Living with depression for few years, I want to understand more her pain and hope this conversation may help some looking for answers.
I am thankful she accepted to open up herself with us and I ask you, please, to be respectful in any of your comments.
Much Love to everyone,
Thank you for watching and subscribing !
///
Direction ➤ Fabio GRANGEON
Filming & Editing ➤ https://www.instagram.com/dostudio19/
#fabiograngeon #fabio #法比歐 #coffeetalk
she is lack of confidence 在 What's a word for lack of confidence? - English StackExchange 的推薦與評價
According to OED: diffident: modest or shy because of a lack of self-confidence: a diffident youth. Another word as @Jim suggested would be timid. ... <看更多>