JANGAN IZINKAN IBU LAHIRKAN TUANNYA
Masa awal aku kahwin dengan isteri aku, aku dapat pakej 4 orang anak. Alhamdulillah. Yang mana 2 daripada 4 ni istimewa sikit. Dua-dua aspergers. Sorang ADD sorang lagi ADHD. Paling mencabar sekali tau tak apa? Anak-anak ni sebelum kehadiran aku, diorang ni di manjakan betul. Cukup manja! Semua nak, dapat. Tak boleh kena tegur, mesti menaangis dan membentak. 3 lelaki, sorang perempuan. Masa tu umur yang sulung 14 tahun. Yang second 12 tahun...
Continue ReadingDON ' T ALLOW MOTHER TO BORN HER MASTER
When I married my wife, I got a package of 4 children. Thank God. Which 2 of the 4 is a little special. Both aspergers. Another ADD another ADHD. It's most challenging to know it's okay? These kids before my presence, they are being pampered right. Pretty spoiled! All want, got it. Can't be told, must cry and snap. 3 men, a woman. At that time the eldest was 14 years old. The second 12 years old. Third 9 years old. Fourth of 6 years old girl.
First time entering the family, I've had a meeting done. With gangster style, long hair braids. I'm doing a LIVE FB meeting with children. In the meeting, I just entered the family, so follow my rules. I don't follow their rules.
At the beginning, many people who are nearest have started tripping and spreading stories, not saying that I will hit the kids. The swing bowl is right who reads people from this person's use.
Remember the early marriage, my wife always reminds me of me. If these kids promise anything they need to be fulfilled, they will cry badly and scream. Hard to persuade. Sometimes I want to break my breath and cry. The other one is ADHD if he cries, he can't be angry, he has to say it carefully. Because later he will be raging and coming hyper. The one who added is his own attitude. It's just his problem that he doesn't take the port. The eldest is the most pamper. Ask for whatever the confirmation gets. After that it's urgent to work.
I really don't feel like I'm suitable at all. What should I do? Wash his mother first. My wife cried when she washed her first. I said it's simple. I don't want my son to grow up to die and get everything he wants to wear. Nothing, tomorrow won't be given, he rebel like going crazy.
Everything that my wife says can't do, I prove it to my wife, everything that she thinks is wrong. I made it. I didn't see anyone doing what my wife said. I just tried to bring MCD, then I parked at the Tomyam shop. Look at all the faces that are slammed. But no one is crying.
That's where it all started. Until one part I saw my wife still wrongly. I said it's simple.
′′ Want something big, need a big sacrifice. If you maintain like this, it's too wrong that you have to follow all your child's wishes, you're afraid to say NO and then you're crying and tired of your brother Trust me. Just like this, you'll lose your brother. Choose. ′′ ′′
Hah my wife was shaking at that time.
Yes, it's not easy to fight the mother's instinct. I really understand. But have to remember, you want to be sad until when you just want to entertain the extreme motherhood instincts? How do you want your child to grow up? What's he doing today, he's already big tomorrow. You're poor, he asks for something you can't fulfill. You think he got it? That's the wrong time he just said this sentence.
′′ Why is my mom not like someone else's mom. It's okay. I am not important ′′
Heart was shaking at that time. He didn't tell me 100 times, once didn't let him release such a painful sentence?
I'm nothing, kids like this even more men, have to grow up to be men. Not a bapok, not a Kpop. Man. The world will come far more evil. Responsibility is far bigger. It is compulsory to grow up to be a man. I repeat.
MEN.
That's when my wife slowly became a mad mother. Kah kah kah. The kids were shocked at that time. Suddenly mom is good at screaming? Suddenly mom is good at tunjal head? Suddenly mom is good at slapping? Suddenly mom dares to throw her phone against the wall?
Most power if a child I say near her mother,
′′ Mom doesn't love me, I hate mom.."
If my wife used to hear this verse, she will feel sinful and crying. Now you know what my wife answer?
′′ Once you hate me, 100 times I hate you.."
Stunned again child. Feels like the tactical of playing sentiment is not going to be. Continue to continue doing homework.
After that the scene of running away from the middle of the night, haa my wife is already cuak. Look for me to tell my child to run home. Cleaning up the bag. If you're as a mother, are you rocking? 10-year-olds when they were running home. Other siblings are busy trying not to run away, they insist on running.
I told my wife I'm happy je.
′′ Do not persuade. Just ask him to run the house faster. Go help her pack the bag. Do not worry. I used to threaten my mother like this when I was small. When my mother is stupid, I stay outside for a while and then I will go home because it's scary outside the dark.. if you persuade, don't run away, believe Tomorrow he's busy threatening to run again."
My wife went down and asked her to leave her house faster. This kid won't go out after opening the door. Look at the dark outside. He immediately opened the saji headscarf, making him hungry. It's so hard to look at it.
Want to turn into a Lion, it looks evil. Many will talk about this. You say you don't love your children. If this part is not strong, it will be stupid to be eaten by these words. But you have to believe one thing. This mother and father knows her child better than all of you. He knows so much. Know which limit he can make or not. We who watch from outside don't pretend to teach other people's children, teach our own children first to let go. Look at our children today he appreciate us how.
I was worst being criticized at that time.
He said since my wife married me, my wife's attitude has changed. Getting harder. Fierce with the kids. And many more lah. I'm lazy to take a port. The one who speaks is a woman who has never tasted anything. Work is great. So bored listening to it. But I'm cooking so much, it's normal that the sound of this person's confirmation since childhood has never lived hard, the child and the one that is like diva is usually the same. Just deaf the ear. Focus on the mission for the good of the child to come.
After 3 years, I recently had a meeting with all my children. I ask, did you notice that mom used to be different from now?
All bobbing. Getting more ferocious and crazy people say.
I'm so happy to hear. Let go of that I said.
′′ Try all of you to look back at this day. What's the difference? Neno 8 years old can be brushed by school clothes. Already able to wipe Ayra out. Luth 10 years can wash everyone's dishes. Hoze is the most improvement. From my own world today, you are the most helping to work in your house. 13 years old, washing clothes, hanging clothes, sleeping ayraa, bathing ayraa. And many more. Anish, you are the eldest brother. Thank God. No more pushy. See you already understand the reality of being a brother. Every morning sitting in the kitchen helping mom cook.. that's okay. Proud for a while Dedi. Dedi is nothing, you ask Dedi's siblings if they are rude to his mother, what happens to them. Must eat Dedi's feet. You become a son, you have to be a protector to your mother. Don't make it a slave mother."
All sighs. I'm connecting again.
′′ Do you know why this Seremban house Dedi doesn't install air conditioner near Indeed Dedi doesn't let mom install air conditioner. Let me sleep hot. Learning how to use a fan. Dedi used to grow up but never sleeps in air conditioner, thank God I grew up healthy. Dedi wants anything can't just get like that. So men have to learn how to feel hard. So that tomorrow, you will learn to be grateful. I will remember your parents when they are happy. You'll be close to siblings, tomorrow this is what you'll laugh back when you tell the story. Trust me. All of these are the sweetest memories. Mother and father don't know when will die. Maybe tomorrow we die, at least Anish can take care of the younger siblings."
Everyone was laughing at that time. My eldest child will interrupt in a while.
′′ Dedi, but honestly Anish likes the current mother from mother before. Even though it's fierce, but it's true when I remember it again. All of us are good at all. I just noticed that someone else is 8 years old but doesn't even know how to take care of the baby who is a year old and shower and defecate. Luth has changed a lot. No more crying. Hardworking. Hoze has changed a lot of crazy. Playing with the phone. There's only one problem, when you have a relative, you can come, don't sit in the Just sit down once. Anyway, I swear, Anish loves the mother who was now from the old times. Even though the current mother is crazy saiko! Haha. Mom, you are Queen Of My Heart! Mother is crazy, before Anish didn't understand a lot. When Anish sees mom struggle, Anish becomes a pity. Just saw all the sacrifices of the mother for all of us."
Others bobbing heads agree and laugh with what brother anish he said.
All impressed when I remember back. Until neno's turn, she keeps crying. She really apologizes near her mom.
The most powerful, they are siblings when their aunt wants to ask them to come out. Each one has completed the job of who managed his / her sister's clothes this year, who will beat his / her younger sibling's pampers, who will manage his / her sister's pampers. All of them think for themselves. Talk to each other and manage the equipment of his little brother who is a year old. No need to have a mother with her dedi.
Power, isn't it? Two Aspergers, an ordinary person. The eldest has entered MRSM. It means that the number two child of ADD is taking over.
Even when I'm going back to hometown, my wife just gave me an order. They all clean up their own bags. My wife doesn't even mix a single dust. My wife looks like a big boss today. All homeworks are managed by the child. My wife's duty is to cook. Wash clothes, dry clothes, wash dishes, wash toilets, throw away garbage, shower ayra for a year, all the kids who manage it.
If I don't move, I won't let my wife shout out to other children. But mad at the eldest child. Let the eldest child be stressed. Whatever happened to the younger siblings, I told her mother to kill her eldest child. So when the younger siblings aren't working, fighting, the eldest brother already knows that he needs to be tiaw with his mother later. Didn't say much, he just settled his younger siblings. That's it brother!
Thank God. The story is only one. Our children, we know each other. There's a part of being fierce, there's a part that needs to be There's a part that can laugh. This mother has one veto power, but many are afraid to use it because she is not in other s' language and is so afraid that her child will hate It doesn't mean anything! It's boring to entertain the sentiment of pity that is extreme. You used to be your mother who hit your face, do you hate your mother to big? Nothing. We're fierce because we just want to educate. Not fierce all the time. More than firm. When you see your child hardworking, listen to it, there's a day that will give you a surprise Chocolate or what? Taking a walk to the park. Time with family has to be there.
If you're too spoiled, you can make your child become responsible and the person who will defend your family, I think that the Malay soldiers won't even be training hard as hard as possible. It's better for them to just pray for all the new soldiers. What do you want, everything is given. Wake up late, swipe your hair and then kiss your forehead. Even eating time is delicious. Sleeping at night comfortably, installing air conditioner. Put on the wifi.
What was it?
Before you want to say this person, ask ourselves first. Our 7-year-old child eats, is he good at washing his own dishes? Do you know how to follow your time schedule? Can you brush your own school clothes?
If you're not good at anything, don't make me feel bad about the way other father's mother educate someone's child.
The hardest episode in educating children at this age. Believe me, this will all be a longing for the kids when they leave the house later. And this also makes them siblings get closer.
Patience, victory day is coming! Early sacrifice is the most important. Fight all the wrong feelings that always play in the soul. Only one thing you have to remember, as long as you don't fight with religion. Mom is never wrong! Angry, fierce lah. Do not worry. Continue to educate our ways. Don't forget the power of Veto!
Eh forgot, waimah is a special child. What the doctor said put number two. Accompanying kids like normal kids before but there's a limit. Don't teach him to be a special child since you were young. We know our children again, right? Because I always believe, crazy people when we clap their hands twice when they want to take our food, the third time they will understand and won't take it anymore. That's the crazy person. So, Don't let the child know he's special. Don't disturb her brain. Just entertaining the same thing.
Everyone is like that. If he feels like there are advantages, there is someone who defends more, he will start to get a chance. Can't believe it? You try to pamper your child crazy. Let go of the try in front of you, someone tease him less, you see how he has torn to tears later he will get your attention.
Anyway..
Only one thing I'm still failing. Failed to change their name call among siblings. No call Along, Angah, Bangde. I feel strongly, calling this name also has a certain advantage to put the difference between the younger brother and brother. There is a family aura.
Don't forget, Father's role in psychology is important to be crazy. Because with this mother, no matter how fierce it is, the child is brave to fight. Dad must be good at playing roles. No need to touch, you need to know when you want to have a high voice. When you want to call your child, sit down and talk about others.
Become a child idol.
Trust me, step child and biological child two things that are impossible. Because the power of VETO only exists in biological children. This step child has a risk that you need to face. What happened to them, people will say that you don't love them because it's not your biological child. Painful and sad that sentence is for me. Allah knows how I love them.
I wrote it,
Mr Amir Lake
P / s: In the past my wife was criticized by the Aspie group when my wife said she educated her aspie's child in the way she was a little firm. All sorts of people are teasing, he said that this aspie child will take revenge and kill him. Have to be teased every day. Poor. My wife doesn't agree with my actions early because she holds the doctor's order. Today, I'm asking my child aspie. Tomorrow if mom gets disturbed by someone else in front of you what will you do? What did he answer? I'll hit him enough! And I asked my wife, how about the person who teased her child? He said his child is under control but sometimes he's raging badly until he's about to breath. At the same time today my child aspie is good at cooking, can do all homework and love his siblings so much.
Mr. Amir Lake creditTranslated
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《和屍體說話的人》
Do you believe in past life, and its strong invisible influence over your present life?
He was the Sherlocks Holmes of Taiwan.
The modern day Justice Pao (現代包青天), known to bring justice to murdered victims.
楊青天大人, he was nicknamed by his countrymen.
I had never heard of 楊日松博士, Dr Yang Jih-sung.
Till I read the story written by my Grandmaster, Living Buddha Lian-Sheng, which I posted two days ago.
That was donkey years back.
In my decade long of mastering Chinese Metaphysics, I have amassed hundreds, if not thousands, of Bazi in my crumpled dog-eared notebooks.
One continuous homework that I have been doing since 2006, is to study the Bazi, faces, bodies and lives of not just famous people, people featured in the newspapers (hit-and-run victims, suicide victims, criminals, scholars, helpful people etc.) but as well as people around me.
Shifu said, the more we study, the better and faster we get at dissecting a person's Bazi and people reading.
The goal is to train our eyes and brain so well that we can see a person naked (figuratively, of course) within one split second.
And when a person walks past, without turning our heads to look, we must be able to tell Shifu the current financial state and luck of the person. #aurareading
Such training was very strenuous in the beginning. When I didn't pass the impromptu tests given by Shifu, I was meted harsh punishment and disallowed further learning, till I passed with flying colours.
.
I got curious about Dr Yang about a month ago. He had a very fascinating career history.
What does he have in his Bazi, that determines him to be a righteous and dedicated forensic expert with such top-notch crime-solving skills?
What had he done to be bestowed the divine title of 城隍爺 (City God), after his death?
I read that he allegedly handled more than 30,000 bodies over the course of his 62-year career. I took out my calculator. That worked out to 484 bodies every year. 40.3 bodies every month, which is about 1.34 bodies every day.
While all his classmates went off to become doctors, Dr Yang was the only one from his class to take up forensics. It was a decision he made after his brother was forcefully coerced into a confession by the Japanese that he was a spy and wrongfully jailed, and another friend was unfairly charged of being a thief.
Dr Yang learnt early in his life, that eye witnesses were insufficient to solve a case. There was a pressing need for strong scientific evidence.
What caught my eye about Dr Yang was his utmost respect to the dead bodies.
He would always take a bow to the victim before starting work on the dead body.
Through the decades, he had never wore any protective gear like masks and gloves during autopsies.
In his biography:
"A forensic expert’s job is more than just studying and dissecting the bodies. If necessary, we need to taste the contents of their stomachs and determine the time of death from the acidity. We can also tell from the bitterness whether there was poisoning involved.”
He cites a case where three charred bodies were brought in from the same incident.
“They smelled the same, so I could tell that they were burned at the same time. If I wore a mask, I would not be able to observe this subtle detail,” he says. “And, I believe that wearing a mask is disrespectful toward the deceased.”
Finally, he explains that he “cannot feel the elasticity of the skin” if he has gloves on.
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I don't know if you have ever smelt a corpse. But it is known to be extremely foul.
Especially when the bodies have been thrown into the sea, or buried deep in the soil, before digging out much later.
Dr Yang never feared infection by the bacteria in the corpses.
Those were the days when CSI kind of science did not exist.
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楊日松法醫:「你沒有良心,做不了。」
Dr Yang solved his first case when he was just an intern and still a student at Taipei Medical University in 1949. A pair of university lovers supposedly hung themselves by the Tamsui River, but the man survived. Later on, Dr Yang quickly proved that the noose was too small for two persons to be hung together. The man had murdered his girlfriend and staged a suicide attempt, complete with a forged suicide note, to cover up.
Dr Yang was only 21 years old then. (Jeez...what was I doing at 21?)
He went on to solve many difficult cases, which shocked Taiwan's society. Here are just 3 of them:
1. September 1977. It was Taiwan's 1st dismemberment murder case.
Two plastic bags containing about 6 pieces of body parts were found along the Dahan River.
DNA tests were non-existent then.
Dr Yang was called in, and his examination showed that the body parts belonged to the same person. He also provided the victim's age and possible identity at a reporters' conference, where he displayed the body parts on a table, and listed 10 areas of identification.
Including, the mammary glands were not enlarged, proof that the woman had never been pregnant.
And how the woman was possibly murdered and mutilated.
The police soon tracked the murderer to a ex-convict, who put up a false hiring notice, to trick young ladies.
.
2. 1990. The murder of a young Japanese undergraduate.
The body could not be found till a year later.
The young lady came to Taiwan for solo free and easy travel. She got onto a taxi, with a friendly driver who showed her around Taiwan. Iguchi Mariko agreed to staying at the driver's home for the night, when she could not find accommodation.
Her body was mutilated into 100+ parts and buried under a big tree. Her head was thrown into a rubbish bin.
When the police caught the taxi driver, Dr Yang provided scientific evidence that the taxi driver washed his home walls with strong chemicals and the water usage during the month of murder was 5 times the usual amount.
While the bones were too damaged to be tested for DNA, Dr Yang could piece them together that they belonged to the same person.
This case shocked both Taiwan and Japan.
3. 1993. The dead Marine Captain Yin Ching-feng (尹清楓)
The Captain was discovered dead along the coast of Yilan. The military claimed it was suicide by drowning. Dr Yang examined the corpse and discovered many wounds. There was no ocean debris in the lungs or other drowning symptoms.
Dr Yang announced that the Captain was murdered before being disposed into the ocean.
His honest words unscrambled a huge military scandal in Taiwan and caused many high-ranking officials to lose their jobs.
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楊日松法醫:「法醫學是人權保障醫學。」
Dr Yang was also involved in the examination of 17-year-old Bai Hsiao Yen's mauled body. During the examination, Bai Bing Bing, the famous Taiwanese actress, mother of the victim, requested to be present.
Calling Dr Yang a Bodhisattva to the family of the victims, Bai Bing Bing was deeply moved by Dr Yang's comforting words to her:
我只能幫你瞭解真相。我沒有辦法再騰出我的手,再來救一個萬一昏倒的人。妳放心,妳信任我,我等一下一定會給妳最清楚的答案。
(I can only help you find out the truth. I am unable to lend another hand, to save a person who might faint. Don't worry. Trust me. Later I will definitely give you the clearest answer.)
Due to the nature of his work, Dr Yang contracted a skin disease, which caused great itchiness. Two months of seeing the doctor and injections did not help. Eventually, Dr Yang learnt of using rice water to wash his skin. Neighbours and Taiwanese who knew of Dr Yang's condition would bring rice water all the way to his home. It took 6 months before Dr Yang's skin ailment was under control.
#好人有好報
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楊日松法醫:「對屍體要誠實。沒有誠實的人,不要來當。」
There were many cases that Dr Yang solved, with supernatural help.
Once, when he was on a car together with his friends, he spotted a lady sitting beside him. He kept quiet as he assumed she was the friend of one friend. Later on, the car was stopped at a roadblock, where the officer told Dr Yang that he was needed at a crime scene. By then, the lady had mysteriously disappeared.
When Dr Yang reached the scene, he saw that the corpse looked exactly like the lady in the car. He knew immediately it wasn't a suicide case, as seen from the surface.
Another time, Dr Yang was at home when there was a knock on his door. He opened the door and saw a lady in a tracksuit with her head down. The lady sought Dr Yang's help to examine her injury. Dr Yang replied that he didn't have his equipment right now and asked the lady to go to the police station tomorrow. The next morning, during an autopsy, Dr Yang saw a body which didn't have clear facial features, as the body was rescued from the river.
He asked for the police to show him the clothes the body was found in. It was the EXACT same tracksuit as the lady who knocked on his door last night.
One day after work, Dr Yang's car was flagged down by a lady standing by the road. It was pouring heavily. Dr Yang got the chauffeur to stop his car and the lady asked to hitch a ride. Dr Yang agreed. The lady remained silent and kept her head down throughout. Dr Yang found her vaguely familiar.
After she disembarked, for some reason, Dr Yang's chauffeur got lost and could not find his way home. For over an hour, his car kept turning around the same spot.
Feeling something was amiss, Dr Yang headed back to Yilan, and re-examined the corpse. He had initially deduced that the corpse had committed suicide by drinking pesticide. On his 2nd examination, he discovered that the pesticide was found in the lungs. Usually for such suicide case, pesticide would be present in the esophagus. But if one was forced to drink it, the pesticide would leak into the lungs. Dr Yang amended his autopsy conclusion of suicide to murder.
Many supernatural incidents like these had alerted Dr Yang to correcting his initial findings, and solving mysterious cases.
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Yet, there were times when Dr Yang was unable to reach a conclusive result despite many rounds of autopsy.
Then, Dr Yang would pray to the "Floating Head" in his autopsy laboratory. It belonged to a murdered victim, whose case was also resolved by Dr Yang. For some reason, the family/friend didn't want to claim the head. The head had been preserved in a glass container of formalin for 50 over years and its hair and moustache would grow. It was the Guardian Protector of Dr Yang and his team.
Each time after Dr Yang prayed to it, he would gain new insights into the case on hand.
During the Hungry Ghosts' Festival, Dr Yang would lead his entire team to pray to the "good brothers" and made many offerings. He had never missed a year of prayers.
While most educated people turn their noses up at the talk of ghosts and gods, this is one Doctor who will bow humbly before them and ingrain into his team the importance of respect.
.
Dr Yang told my Grandmaster that in his past life, he was the confidential secretary to the King of Hades. Hence in this lifetime, he took on the role of a forensic expert, helping murdered victims to redress the injustice they suffered.
Dr Yang's Bazi was an interesting revelation to his life and character, and why his occupation suited his Bazi to a T.
During his time, there were less than 10 forensic experts in the whole of Taiwan.
His integrity, courage, care to minute details, diligence, quest to find the truth and dedication are qualities I deeply admired. The same qualities my Shifu had been drilling into me for the past 11 years to be a very competent practitioner.
In this era where most people worship the famous and the rich, it is very rare to find a noble character like Dr Yang, who also respected the spiritual world.
Before he passed on due to colon caner, Dr Yang had expressed no regret over his career choice. The only thing he felt bad about was not being to provide more for his children, as public servants in Taiwan earned much less than doctors.
But Dr Yang, your heroic legacy is one that your children and descendants can speak proudly of for decades. The merits you left for them can guarantee them a better life than money ever can buy.
Dr Yang was born on 23 November, 1927. He passed away on the same day, in 2011.
I wanted to post this article yesterday, on his birthday and death anniversary. I took too long to write and am a day late. But I still wish to share Dr Yang's great life story with you.
Congratulations on your promotion to be the righteous City God. You totally earned it. 🙏
城隍境主楊日松法醫,Happy Belated Birthday, Dr Yang. 🙇🏻♀️
.....................
Photo credit to Apple Daily, TVBS Taiwan, and respective owners.
You can learn more about Dr Yang and his work on Youtube by searching for "楊日松".
To read my post where I posted my Grandmaster's article on Dr Yang, link in comment.
two heads are better than one story 在 Nasser Amparna Funpage Facebook 的最佳解答
A GOOD READ from one of the greatest leader that lived, #SINGAPORE's founding man, #LeeKuanYew
THIS MUST BE SHARED AND THOROUGHLY READ BY EVERY FILIPINO... Its quite long but it will surely strengthen our minds but then at the end, I was like "SAYANG!!!"
It came from the SINGAPORE'S FOUNDING MAN ITSELF, former Prime Minister LEE KUAN YEW on how the Philippines should have become, IF ONLY...
I've just read it and, its point blank!
Its a good read
____________
(The following excerpt is taken from pages 299 – 305 from Lee Kuan Yew’s book “From Third World to First”, Chapter 18 “Building Ties with Thailand, the Philippines, and Brunei”)
*
The Philippines was a world apart from us, running a different style of politics and government under an American military umbrella. It was not until January 1974 that I visited President Marcos in Manila. When my Singapore Airlines plane flew into Philippine airspace, a small squadron of Philippine Air Force jet fighters escorted it to Manila Airport. There Marcos received me in great style – the Filipino way. I was put up at the guest wing of Malacañang Palace in lavishly furnished rooms, valuable objects of art bought in Europe strewn all over. Our hosts were gracious, extravagant in hospitality, flamboyant. Over a thousand miles of water separated us. There was no friction and little trade. We played golf, talked about the future of ASEAN, and promised to keep in touch.
His foreign minister, Carlos P. Romulo, was a small man of about five feet some 20 years my senior, with a ready wit and a self-deprecating manner about his size and other limitations. Romulo had a good sense of humor, an eloquent tongue, and a sharp pen, and was an excellent dinner companion because he was a wonderful raconteur, with a vast repertoire of anecdotes and witticisms. He did not hide his great admiration for the Americans. One of his favourite stories was about his return to the Philippines with General MacArthur. As MacArthur waded ashore at Leyte, the water reached his knees but came up to Romulo’s chest and he had to swim ashore. His good standing with ASEAN leaders and with Americans increased the prestige of the Marcos administration. Marcos had in Romulo a man of honor and integrity who helped give a gloss of respectability to his regime as it fell into disrepute in the 1980s.
In Bali in 1976, at the first ASEAN summit held after the fall of Saigon, I found Marcos keen to push for greater economic cooperation in ASEAN. But we could not go faster than the others. To set the pace, Marcos and I agreed to implement a bilateral Philippines-Singapore across-the-board 10 percent reduction of existing tariffs on all products and to promote intra-ASEAN trade. We also agreed to lay a Philippines-Singapore submarine cable. I was to discover that for him, the communiqué was the accomplishment itself; its implementation was secondary, an extra to be discussed at another conference.
We met every two to three years. He once took me on a tour of his library at Malacañang, its shelves filled with bound volumes of newspapers reporting his activities over the years since he first stood for elections. There were encyclopedia-size volumes on the history and culture of the Philippines with his name as the author. His campaign medals as an anti-Japanese guerrilla leader were displayed in glass cupboards. He was the undisputed boss of all Filipinos. Imelda, his wife, had a penchant for luxury and opulence. When they visited Singapore before the Bali summit they came in stye in two DC8’s, his and hers.
Marcos did not consider China a threat for the immediate future, unlike Japan. He did not rule out the possibility of an aggressive Japan, if circumstances changed. He had memories of the horrors the Imperial Army had inflicted on Manila. We had strongly divergent views on the Vietnamese invasion and occupation of Cambodia. While he, pro forma, condemned the Vietnamese occupation, he did not consider it a danger to the Philippines. There was the South China Sea separating them and the American navy guaranteed their security. As a result, Marcos was not active on the Cambodian question. Moreover, he was to become preoccupied with the deteriorating security in his country.
Marcos, ruling under martial law, had detained opposition leader Benigno (Ninoy) Aquino, reputed to be as charismatic and powerful a campaigner as he was. He freed Aquino and allowed him to go to the United States. As the economic situation in the Philippines deteriorated, Aquino announced his decision to return. Mrs. Marcos issued several veiled warnings. When the plane arrived at Manila Airport from Taipei in August 1983, he was shot as he descended from the aircraft. A whole posse of foreign correspondents with television camera crews accompanying him on the aircraft was not enough protection.
International outrage over the killing resulted in foreign banks stopping all loans to the Philippines, which owed over US$25 billion and could not pay the interest due. This brought Marcos to the crunch. He sent his minister for trade and industry, Bobby Ongpin, to ask me for a loan of US$300-500 million to meet the interest payments. I looked him straight in the eye and said, “We will never see that money back.” Moreover, I added, everyone knew that Marcos was seriously ill and under constant medication for a wasting disease. What was needed was a strong, healthy leader, not more loans.
Shortly afterward, in February 1984, Marcos met me in Brunei at the sultanate’s independence celebrations. He had undergone a dramatic physical change. Although less puffy than he had appeared on television, his complexion was dark as if he had been out in the sun. He was breathing hard as he spoke, his voice was soft, eyes bleary, and hair thinning. He looked most unhealthy. An ambulance with all the necessary equipment and a team of Filipino doctors were on standby outside his guest bungalow. Marcos spent much of the time giving me a most improbable story of how Aquino had been shot.
As soon as all our aides left, I went straight to the point, that no bank was going to lend him any money. They wanted to know who was going to succeed him if anything were to happen to him; all the bankers could see that he no longer looked healthy. Singapore banks had lent US$8 billion of the US$25 billion owing. The hard fact was they were not likely to get repayment for some 20 years. He countered that it would be only eight years. I said the bankers wanted to see a strong leader in the Philippines who could restore stability, and the Americans hoped the election in May would throw up someone who could be such a leader. I asked whom he would nominate for the election. He said Prime Minister Cesar Virata. I was blunt. Virata was a nonstarter, a first-class administrator but no political leader; further, his most politically astute colleague, defense minister Juan Ponce Enrile, was out of favour. Marcos was silent, then he admitted that succession was the nub of the problem. If he could find a successor, there would be a solution. As I left, he said, “You are a true friend.” I did not understand him. It was a strange meeting.
With medical care, Marcos dragged on. Cesar Virata met me in Singapore in January the following year. He was completely guileless, a political innocent. He said that Mrs. Imelda Marcos was likely to be nominated as the presidential candidate. I asked how that could be when there were other weighty candidates, including Juan Ponce Enrile and Blas Ople, the labor minister. Virata replied it had to do with “flow of money; she would have more money than other candidates to pay for the votes needed for nomination by the party and to win the election. He added that if she were the candidate, the opposition would put up Mrs. Cory Aquino and work up the people’s feelings. He said the economy was going down with no political stability.
The denouement came in February 1986 when Marcos held presidential elections which he claimed he won. Cory Aquino, the opposition candidate, disputed this and launched a civil disobedience campaign. Defense Minister Juan Enrile defected and admitted election fraud had taken place, and the head of the Philippine constabulary, Lieutenant General Fidel Ramos, joined him. A massive show of “people power” in the streets of Manila led to a spectacular overthrow of a dictatorship. The final indignity was on 25 February 1986, when Marcos and his wife fled in U.S. Air Force helicopters from Malacañang Palace to Clark Air Base and were flown to Hawaii. This Hollywood-style melodrama could only have happened in the Philippines.
Mrs. Aquino was sworn in as president amid jubilation. I had hopes that this honest, God-fearing woman would help regain confidence for the Philippines and get the country back on track. I visited her that June, three months after the event. She was a sincere, devout Catholic who wanted to do her best for her country by carrying out what she believed her husband would have done had he been alive, namely, restore democracy to the Philippines. Democracy would then solve their economic and social problems. At dinner, Mrs. Aquino seated the chairman of the constitutional commission, Chief Justice Cecilia Muñoz-Palma, next to me. I asked the learned lady what lessons her commission had learned from the experience of the last 40 years since independence in 1946 would guide her in drafting the constitution. She answered without hesitation, “We will not have any reservations or limitations on our democracy. We must make sure that no dictator can ever emerge to subvert the constitution.” Was there no incompatibility of the American-type separation of powers with the culture and habits of the Filipino people that had caused problems for the presidents before Marcos? Apparently none.
Endless attempted coups added to Mrs. Aquino’s problems. The army and the constabulary had been politicized. Before the ASEAN summit in December 1987, a coup was threatened. Without President Suharto’s firm support the summit would have been postponed and confidence in Aquino’s government undermined. The Philippine government agreed that the responsibility for security should be shared between them and the other ASEAN governments, in particular the Indonesian government. General Benny Moerdani, President Suharto’s trusted aide, took charge. He positioned an Indonesian warship in the middle of Manila Bay with helicopters and a commando team ready to rescue the ASEAN heads of government if there should be a coup attempt during the summit. I was included in their rescue plans. I wondered if such a rescue could work but decided to go along with the arrangements, hoping that the show of force would scare off the coup leaders. We were all confined to the Philippine Plaza Hotel by the seafront facing Manila Bay where we could see the Indonesian warship at anchor. The hotel was completely sealed off and guarded. The summit went off without any mishap. We all hoped that this show of united support for Mrs. Aquino’s government at a time when there were many attempts to destabilize it would calm the situation.
It made no difference. There were more coup attempts, discouraging investments badly needed to create jobs. This was a pity because they had so many able people, educated in the Philippines and the United States. Their workers were English-speaking, at least in Manila. There was no reason why the Philippines should not have been one of the more successful of the ASEAN countries. In the 1950s and 1960s, it was the most developed, because America had been generous in rehabilitating the country after the war. Something was missing, a gel to hold society together. The people at the top, the elite mestizos, had the same detached attitude to the native peasants as the mestizos in their haciendas in Latin America had toward their peons. They were two different societies: Those at the top lived a life of extreme luxury and comfort while the peasants scraped a living, and in the Philippines it was a hard living. They had no land but worked on sugar and coconut plantations.They had many children because the church discouraged birth control. The result was increasing poverty.
It was obvious that the Philippines would never take off unless there was substantial aid from the United States. George Shultz, the secretary of state, was sympathetic and wanted to help but made clear to me that the United States would be better able to do something if ASEAN showed support by making its contribution. The United States was reluctant to go it alone and adopt the Philippines as its special problem. Shultz wanted ASEAN to play a more prominent role to make it easier for the president to get the necessary votes in Congress. I persuaded Shultz to get the aid project off the ground in 1988, before President Reagan’s second term of office ended. He did. There were two meetings for a Multilateral Assistance Initiative (Philippines Assistance Programme): The first in Tokyo in 1989 brought US$3.5 billion in pledges, and the second in Hong Kong in 1991, under the Bush administration, yielded US$14 billion in pledges. But instability in the Philippines did not abate. This made donors hesitant and delayed the implementation of projects.
Mrs. Aquino’s successor, Fidel Ramos, whom she had backed, was more practical and established greater stability. In November 1992, I visited him. In a speech to the 18th Philippine Business Conference, I said, “I do not believe democracy necessarily leads to development. I believe what a country needs to develop is discipline more than democracy.” In private, President Ramos said he agreed with me that British parliamentary-type constitutions worked better because the majority party in the legislature was also the government. Publicly, Ramos had to differ.
He knew well the difficulties of trying to govern with strict American-style separation of powers. The senate had already defeated Mrs. Aquino’s proposal to retain the American bases. The Philippines had a rambunctious press but it did not check corruption. Individual press reporters could be bought, as could many judges. Something had gone seriously wrong. Millions of Filipino men and women had to leave their country for jobs abroad beneath their level of education. Filipino professionals whom we recruited to work in Singapore are as good as our own. Indeed, their architects, artists, and musicians are more artistic and creative than ours. Hundreds of thousands of them have left for Hawaii and for the American mainland. It is a problem the solution to which has not been made easier by the workings of a Philippine version of the American constitution.
The difference lies in the culture of the Filipino people. It is a soft, forgiving culture. Only in the Philippines could a leader like Ferdinand Marcos, who pillaged his country for over 20 years, still be considered for a national burial. Insignificant amounts of the loot have been recovered, yet his wife and children were allowed to return and engage in politics. They supported the winning presidential and congressional candidates with their considerable resources and reappeared in the political and social limelight after the 1998 election that returned President Joseph Estrada. General Fabian Ver, Marcos’s commander-in-chief who had been in charge of security when Aquino was assassinated, had fled the Philippines together with Marcos in 1986. When he died in Bangkok, the Estrada government gave the general military honors at his burial. One Filipino newspaper, Today, wrote on 22 November 1998, “Ver, Marcos and the rest of the official family plunged the country into two decades of lies, torture, and plunder. Over the next decade, Marcos’s cronies and immediate family would tiptoe back into the country, one by one – always to the public’s revulsion and disgust, though they showed that there was nothing that hidden money and thick hides could not withstand.” Some Filipinos write and speak with passion. If they could get their elite to share their sentiments and act, what could they not have achieved?
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SAYANG! kindly share.
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