Be Who You Are, Not What Others Want You To Be!❤
Why are you single? When are you going to get married? When are you having kids? Why you don't have kids? Why is she/he divorced? What happened to them? Why are they like that? Why and why and why people like to ask these insensitive questions, being prejudice, stereotyping, speculates, gossips, and make inappropriate judgments.
How can you ask something that someone can't 100% control, just like death? Some things are unknown, it's like asking, when are you going to die? It's common sense. If you don't know this answer, means you won't know the exact why for such questions.
When someone is single by choice or it's not just the right time for them, let it be. So what if that person wants to be or will be single forever? It may be better for the person than being with the wrong partner for the rest of the person's life. You don't meddle with God's plan or even someone's choices. You can't force people to get into relationships, what's more marriage. If it is forced, how can a marriage be happy and whole? Love is a huge topic. Again it's not just about relationships and marriage.
People should not pretend to be stupid, play dumb, needy, spoiled, or fake just to attract/be with a life partner. Women and men should have their own intelligence, personality, independence, and truthfulness in life. We want to be real and genuine, and if someone wants us to be part of their life, it's better for them to know the real us from the get-go. Not presenting a false front.
A healthy relationship should be two individuals who love and care for each other, support, motivate, respect, be kind, honest, loyal, help, guide, communicate well, listen and give the very best to each other, by also being the best version of themselves. Not one person should be superior to the other or vice versa. If you feel forced and put yourself down for another person, you are probably in the wrong relationship.
Put aside status, education level, salary, or position in career, a partner and a healthy relationship should be side by side, be supportive, help each other, understand each other strengths and weaknesses, able to give and take/compromise, and open to learning from each other when it comes to marriage or any relationship.
A woman's or man's characteristics for example being soft or strong, and men prefer soft/more feminine women, and women who are less intelligent/educated than them, should not be generalized. Some men admire women who are intelligent/educated, strong, and independent and women have their preferences too. Different people are attracted to different traits. No one size fits all.
No one should pretend to be less than she/he is for the opposite partner to feel desirable or dominant. If a person desperately and constantly trying to boost their ego, be dominant or prove power especially in a relationship, this may lead to negative behavioral patterns and impacts such as emotional instability, harassment, abuse, bullying, verbal and physical violence, unhappiness, and depression.
We are all individuals in the end and have our differences. As a human being, one of the goals in life is trying to be better than we were yesterday. Trying to change ourselves for the sake of pleasing someone and pretending just to make someone feel happy or superior is not healthy and can jeopardize our own mental health and also the relationship in the long run.
If we want to change something, for example, I want to be more fitter, healthier, happier, smarter, financially independent, and so forth, it is for ourselves (without being selfish or self-absorbed). If we take care of ourselves first then we can take care of others better. Do for yourself and the motivation will be sustainable than doing for other people.
Respect and love yourself. Respect the people around you. Then we should not be degrading or intimidate anyone. This will make you a better person. We attract what we are.
Life is unique, so does human beings. Life itself is bigger than getting married, having kids, make tons of money, and so forth. This is the typical life cycles, stages and goals we all have learned in our life. The strong pressures in society dictate what is better and not just because that's what it is for the past generations have been. The pressure to fit in with society's standards and expectations is also there.
As a society and individual, let's understand deeper that not everyone will have the same life cycles and even life goals. There are things we can control and can't control. Not everything that is good for you is going to be good for other people. Having or not having something can be a blessing and sometimes only God knows why.
In life, some may walk their path of life and make choices completely different from us and that's perfectly fine. We all have our own unique journey and that makes us different, and we can use that differences to make life better for ourselves and the life of others.
Let this sink in.
#sfartography #rainbowpegasus #life #lifeadvice #motivation #relationships #marriage #begenuine #bereal #beyou
what is relationship abuse 在 Ainie Haziqah Facebook 的精選貼文
MEDIA STATEMENT: ACT AGAINST "PERIOD SPOT CHECKS" IN SCHOOLS
1. The current trending issue that has been going around on Malaysian students (former and present) are sharing disturbing stories of period spot checks and sexual harassment in school during the month of Ramadhan. Having to prove to their teachers and higher ups that they were on their period also means having their private parts touched without consent (on the context of teacher and student relationship) as well as having their panties removed to show their menstrual pads. These form of intrusion and violation of inappropriate touching, personal autonomy and body shaming through the excuse of ‘disciplinary punishment’ but in reality, it was entirely sexual harassment and abuse of power. A school or educational institutions should create an environment where students can be at peace of mind and feel safe from the secular world outside.
2. The fact that this mortifying misconduct is still happening to our students now without any measures being taken against the perpetrators is disgusting! We must stand together and put to an end of what seems so shockingly common in our society. The trauma and mental stress of being groped and touched without consent can be shattering, leaving the victim feeling traumatized, depressed and ashamed. Trauma has lasting effects.
3. Making the decision to report misconduct like such or sexual harassment takes a great deal of courage. I applaud those who gather every ounce of their courage in speaking up. Your voice is needed for the safety of other students in school and future generations to come.
4. I call upon the Ministry of Education to take prompt action and investigations by relevant authorities in ensuring that the safety of our school students will be the top priority. As schools are supposed to be conducive sanctuaries where students can feel safe and confident, let us not shatter that part of trust from our girls.
5. Sexual harassment has no place in a school. If this persist on, it defeats the purpose of an educational institution entirely.
Ainie Haziqah
EXCO Srikandi BERSATU Malaysia
what is relationship abuse 在 Facebook 的最佳貼文
Since Vday just passed, thought i’d dedicate today’s Monday post to L-O-V-E! ♥️🥰♥️
I wrote this in my notes last week after seeing so many beautiful declarations of love. ♥️✨ They were so sweet and just made me think about what love is to me now. Growing up, I remember hearing many “love is patient, love is kind”’s. And that shaped a lot of my ideas around love. I think what’s nice is that as I’ve grown older, is that I keep learning new things like, healthy relationships, boundaries, especially for when in an unbalanced and unsafe relationship (both platonic and romantic) and they all bring new layers to what I was taught. So, I thought I’d share my interpretation of it now.
Ps. There are many cases of abuse in which the perpetrators use those phrases to manipulate the victims into believing that “being patient and kind” means accepting the repeated abuse, eg. “patiently” waiting for them to change, “kindly” believing the best in the other person, even when the pattern of behaviour is clear, or sometimes even the systems they are in convince them that that’s what it means. 💔 Or that asking to be treated with dignity, as a human being is being “proud”?! 😢 (Also, usually, in these relationships, if you did to them what they did to you, they would flip the fuck out eg. “How dare you disrespect me??” So... They KNOW what respect is. They just think they’re deserving it but you aren’t.) And I really hope we stop buying into that crap, clearly manipulative interpretation.
Healthy relationships, whether platonic, familial or romantic, should never, ever require you to abandon yourself. And if you are in this situation now, I hope you know that this is absolutely NOT the “best you deserve”, because they’ve somehow made you believe that you are worthless or something, no, that’s just what they want you to believe. Respect and decency are the baaasics. And you definitely did nothing to deserve any form of abuse. That was their choice. ♥️
Sending you guys lots of love, have a great week ahead!! ✨
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