這是前些日子爆出已經被加拿大法院接理對藏傳佛教噶舉派法王的訟訴。(加拿大法院鏈接在此:https://www.bccourts.ca/jdb-txt/sc/21/09/2021BCSC0939cor1.htm?fbclid=IwAR2FLZlzmUIGTBaTuKPVchEqqngcE3Qy6G_C0TWNWVKa2ksbIYkVJVMQ8f8)
這位法王的桃色事件,我是幾年前才聽到。但,藏傳佛教的高層有這些性醜聞,我已經聽了幾十年。我以前的一位前女友也被一些堪布藉故上她的家摟抱過,也有一些活佛跟她表白。(這不只是她,其他地方我也聽過不少)
這是一個藏傳佛教裡面系統式的問題。
很多時候發生這種事情,信徒和教主往往都是說女方得不到寵而報仇,或者說她們也精神病,或者說她們撒謊。
我不排除有這種可能性,但,多過一位,甚至多位出來指證的時候,我是傾向於相信『沒有那麼巧這麼多有精神病的女人要撒謊來報仇』。
大寶法王的桃色事件,最先吹哨的是一位台灣的在家信徒,第二位是香港的女出家人,現在加拿大又多一位公開舉報上法庭。
對大寶法王信徒來說,這一次的比較麻煩,因為是有孩子的。(關於有孩子的,我早在法王的桃色事件曝光時,就有聽聞)
如果法庭勒令要驗證DNA,這對法王和他的信徒來說,會很尷尬和矛盾,因為做或不做,都死。
你若問我,我覺得『人數是有力量的』,同時我也覺得之後有更多的人站出來,是不出奇的。
我也藉此呼籲各方佛教徒,如果你們真的愛佛教,先別說批判,但如鴕鳥般不討論這些爭議,你是間接害了佛教。
(下面是我從加拿大法院鏈接拷貝下來的內容,當中有很多細節。)
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION
BACKGROUND
ANALYSIS
A. The Spousal Support Claim in this Case
B. The Test to Amend Pleadings
C. Pleadings in Family Law Cases
D. The Legal Concept of a Marriage-Like Relationship
E. Is There a Reasonable Claim of a Marriage-Like Relationship?
F. Delay / Prejudice
CONCLUSION
INTRODUCTION
[1] The claimant applies to amend her notice of family claim to seek spousal support. At issue is whether the claimant’s allegations give rise to a reasonable claim she lived with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship, so as to give rise to a potential entitlement to spousal support under the Family Law Act, S.B.C. 2011, c. 25 (“FLA”).
[2] The facts alleged by the claimant do not fit within a traditional concept of marriage. The claimant does not allege that she and the respondent ever lived together. Indeed, she has only met the respondent in person four times: twice very briefly in a public setting; a third time in private, when she alleges the respondent sexually assaulted her; and a fourth and final occasion, when she informed the respondent she was pregnant with his child.
[3] The claimant’s case is that what began as a non-consensual sexual encounter evolved into a loving and affectionate relationship. That relationship occurred almost entirely over private text messages. The parties rarely spoke on the telephone, and never saw one another during the relationship, even over video. The claimant says they could not be together because the respondent is forbidden by his station and religious beliefs from intimate relationships or marriage. Nonetheless, she alleges, they formed a marriage-like relationship that lasted from January 2018 to January 2019.
[4] The respondent denies any romantic relationship with the claimant. While he acknowledges providing emotional and financial support to the claimant, he says it was for the benefit of the child the claimant told him was his daughter.
[5] The claimant’s proposed amendment raises a novel question: can a secret relationship that began on-line and never moved into the physical world be like a marriage? In my view, that question should be answered by a trial judge after hearing all of the evidence. The alleged facts give rise to a reasonable claim the claimant lived with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship. Accordingly, I grant the claimant leave to amend her notice of family claim.
BACKGROUND
[6] It should be emphasized that this is an application to amend pleadings only. The allegations by the claimant are presumed to be true for the purposes of this application. Those allegations have not been tested in a court of law.
[7] The respondent, Ogyen Trinley Dorje, is a high lama of the Karma Kagyu School of Tibetan Buddhism. He has been recognized and enthroned as His Holiness, the 17th Gyalwang Karmapa. Without meaning any disrespect, I will refer to him as Mr. Dorje in these reasons for judgment.
[8] Mr. Dorje leads a monastic and nomadic lifestyle. His true home is Tibet, but he currently resides in India. He receives followers from around the world at the Gyuto Monetary in India. He also travels the world teaching Tibetan Buddhist Dharma and hosting pujas, ceremonies at which Buddhists express their gratitude and devotion to the Buddha.
[9] The claimant, Vikki Hui Xin Han, is a former nun of Tibetan Buddhism. Ms. Han first encountered Mr. Dorje briefly at a large puja in 2014. The experience of the puja convinced Ms. Han she wanted to become a Buddhist nun. She met briefly with Mr. Dorje, in accordance with Kagyu traditions, to obtain his approval to become a nun.
[10] In October 2016, Ms. Han began a three-year, three-month meditation retreat at a monastery in New York State. Her objective was to learn the practices and teachings of the Kagyu Lineage. Mr. Dorje was present at the retreat twice during the time Ms. Han was at the monastery.
[11] Ms. Han alleges that on October 14, 2017, Mr. Dorje sexually assaulted her in her room at the monastery. She alleges that she became pregnant from the assault.
[12] After she learned that she was pregnant, Ms. Han requested a private audience with Mr. Dorje. In November 2017, in the presence of his bodyguards, Ms. Han informed Mr. Dorje she was pregnant with his child. Mr. Dorje initially denied responsibility; however, he provided Ms. Han with his email address and a cellphone number, and, according to Ms. Han, said he would “prepare some money” for her.
[13] Ms. Han abandoned her plan to become a nun, left the retreat and returned to Canada. She never saw Mr. Dorje again.
[14] After Ms. Han returned to Canada, she and Mr. Dorje began a regular communication over an instant messaging app called Line. They also exchanged emails and occasionally spoke on the telephone.
[15] The parties appear to have expressed care and affection for one another in these communications. I say “appear to” because it is difficult to fully understand the meaning and intentions of another person from brief text messages, especially those originally written in a different language. The parties wrote in a private shorthand, sharing jokes, emojis, cartoon portraits and “hugs” or “kisses”. Ms. Han was the more expressive of the two, writing more frequently and in longer messages. Mr. Dorje generally participated in response to questions or prompting from Ms. Han, sometimes in single word messages.
[16] Ms. Han deposes that she believed Mr. Dorje was in love with her and that, by January 2018, she and Mr. Dorje were living in a “conjugal relationship”.
[17] During their communications, Ms. Han expressed concern that her child would be “illegitimate”. She appears to have asked Mr. Dorje to marry her, and he appears to have responded that he was “not ready”.
[18] Throughout 2018, Mr. Dorje transferred funds in various denominations to Ms. Han through various third parties. Ms. Han deposes that these funds were:
a) $50,000 CDN to deliver the child and for postpartum care she was to receive at a facility in Seattle;
b) $300,000 CDN for the first year of the child’s life;
c) $20,000 USD for a wedding ring, because Ms. Han wrote “Even if we cannot get married, you must buy me a wedding ring”;
d) $400,000 USD to purchase a home for the mother and child.
[19] On June 19, 2018, Ms. Han gave birth to a daughter in Richmond, B.C.
[20] On September 17, 2018, Mr. Dorje wrote, ”Taking care of her and you are my duty for life”.
[21] Ms. Han’s expectation was that the parties would live together in the future. She says they planned to live together. Those plans evolved over time. Initially they involved purchasing a property in Toronto, so that Mr. Dorje could visit when he was in New York. They also discussed purchasing property in Calgary or renting a home in Vancouver for that purpose. Ms. Han eventually purchased a condominium in Richmond using funds provided by Mr. Dorje.
[22] Ms. Han deposes that the parties made plans for Mr. Dorje to visit her and meet the child in Richmond. In October 2018, however, Mr. Dorje wrote that he needed to “disappear” to Europe. He wrote:
I will definitely find a way to meet her
And you
Remember to take care of yourself if something happens
[23] The final plan the parties discussed, according to Ms. Han, was that Mr. Dorje would sponsor Ms. Han and the child to immigrate to the United States and live at the Kagyu retreat centre in New York State.
[24] In January 2019, Ms. Han lost contact with Mr. Dorje.
[25] Ms. Han commenced this family law case on July 17, 2019, seeking child support, a declaration of parentage and a parentage test. She did not seek spousal support.
[26] Ms. Han first proposed a claim for spousal support in October 2020 after a change in her counsel. Following an exchange of correspondence concerning an application for leave to amend the notice of family claim, Ms. Han’s counsel wrote that Ms. Han would not be advancing a spousal support claim. On March 16, 2020, counsel reversed course, and advised that Ms. Han had instructed him to proceed with the application.
[27] When this application came on before me, the trial was set to commence on June 7, 2021. The parties were still in the process of discoveries and obtaining translations for hundreds of pages of documents in Chinese characters.
[28] At a trial management conference on May 6, 2021, noting the parties were not ready to proceed, Madam Justice Walkem adjourned the trial to April 11, 2022.
ANALYSIS
A. The Spousal Support Claim in this Case
[29] To claim spousal support in this case, Ms. Han must plead that she lived with Mr. Dorje in a marriage-like relationship. This is because only “spouses” are entitled to spousal support, and s. 3 of the Family Law Act defines a spouse as a person who is married or has lived with another person in a marriage-like relationship:
3 (1) A person is a spouse for the purposes of this Act if the person
(a) is married to another person, or
(b) has lived with another person in a marriage-like relationship, and
(i) has done so for a continuous period of at least 2 years, or
(ii) except in Parts 5 [Property Division] and 6 [Pension Division], has a child with the other person.
[30] Because she alleges she has a child with Mr. Dorje, Ms. Han need not allege that the relationship endured for a continuous period of two years to claim spousal support; but she must allege that she lived in a marriage-like relationship with him at some point in time. Accordingly, she must amend the notice of family claim.
B. The Test to Amend Pleadings
[31] Given that the notice of trial has been served, Ms. Han requires leave of the court to amend the notice of family claim: Supreme Court Family Rule 8-1(1)(b)(i).
[32] A person seeking to amend a notice of family claim must show that there is a reasonable cause of action. This is a low threshold. What the applicant needs to establish is that, if the facts pleaded are proven at trial, they would support a reasonable claim. The applicant’s allegations of fact are assumed to be true for the purposes of this analysis. Cantelon v. Wall, 2015 BCSC 813, at para. 7-8.
[33] The applicant’s delay, the reasons for the delay, and the prejudice to the responding party are also relevant factors. The ultimate consideration is whether it would be just and convenient to allow the amendment. Cantelon, at para. 6, citing Teal Cedar Products Ltd. v. Dale Intermediaries Ltd. et al (1986), 19 B.C.L.R. (3d) 282.
C. Pleadings in Family Law Cases
[34] Supreme Court Family Rules 3-1(1) and 4-1(1) require that a claim to spousal support be pleaded in a notice of family claim in Form F3. Section 2 of Form F3, “Spousal relationship history”, requires a spousal support claimant to check the boxes that apply to them, according to whether they are or have been married or are or have been in a marriage-like relationship. Where a claimant alleges a marriage-like relationship, Form F3 requires that they provide the date on which they began to live together with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship and, where applicable, the date on which they separated. Form F3 does not require a statement of the factual basis for the claim of spousal support.
[35] In this case, Ms. Han seeks to amend the notice of family claim to allege that she and Mr. Dorje began to live in a marriage-like relationship in or around January 2018, and separated in or around January 2019.
[36] An allegation that a person lived with a claimant in a marriage-like relationship is a conclusion of law, not an allegation of fact. Unlike the rules governing pleadings in civil actions, however, the Supreme Court Family Rules do not expressly require family law claimants to plead the material facts in support of conclusions of law.
[37] In other words, there is no express requirement in the Supreme Court Family Rules that Ms. Han plead the facts on which she relies for the allegation she and Mr. Dorje lived in a marriage-like relationship.
[38] Rule 4-6 authorizes a party to demand particulars, and then apply to the court for an order for further and better particulars, of a matter stated in a pleading. However, unless and until she is granted leave and files the proposed amended notice of family claim, Ms. Han’s allegation of a marriage-like relationship is not a matter stated in a pleading.
[39] Ms. Han filed an affidavit in support of her application to amend the notice of family claim. Normally, evidence would not be required or admissible on an application to amend a pleading. However, in the unusual circumstances of this case, the parties agreed I may look to Ms. Han’s affidavit and exhibits for the facts she pleads in support of the allegation of a marriage-like relationship.
[40] Because this is an application to amend - and Ms. Han’s allegations of fact are presumed to be true - I have not considered Mr. Dorje’s responding affidavit.
[41] Relying on affidavit evidence for an application to amend pleadings is less than ideal. It tends to merge and confuse the material facts with the evidence that would be relied on to prove those facts. In a number of places in her affidavit, for example, Ms. Han describes her feelings, impressions and understandings. A person’s hopes and intentions are not normally material facts unless they are mutual or reasonably held. The facts on which Ms. Han alleges she and Mr. Dorje formed a marriage-like relationship are more important for the present purposes than her belief they entered into a conjugal union.
[42] Somewhat unusually, in this case, almost all of the parties’ relevant communications were in writing. This makes it somewhat easier to separate the facts from the evidence; however, as stated above, it is difficult to understand the intentions and actions of a person from brief text messages.
[43] In my view, it would be a good practice for applicants who seek to amend their pleadings in family law cases to provide opposing counsel and the court with a schedule of the material facts on which they rely for the proposed amendment.
D. The Legal Concept of a Marriage-Like Relationship
[44] As Mr. Justice Myers observed in Mother 1 v. Solus Trust Company, 2019 BCSC 200, the concept of a marriage-like relationship is elastic and difficult to define. This elasticity is illustrated by the following passage from Yakiwchuk v. Oaks, 2003 SKQB 124, quoted by Myers J. at para. 133 of Mother 1:
[10] Spousal relationships are many and varied. Individuals in spousal relationships, whether they are married or not, structure their relationships differently. In some relationships there is a complete blending of finances and property - in others, spouses keep their property and finances totally separate and in still others one spouse may totally control those aspects of the relationship with the other spouse having little or no knowledge or input. For some couples, sexual relations are very important - for others, that aspect may take a back seat to companionship. Some spouses do not share the same bed. There may be a variety of reasons for this such as health or personal choice. Some people are affectionate and demonstrative. They show their feelings for their “spouse” by holding hands, touching and kissing in public. Other individuals are not demonstrative and do not engage in public displays of affection. Some “spouses” do everything together - others do nothing together. Some “spouses” vacation together and some spend their holidays apart. Some “spouses” have children - others do not. It is this variation in the way human beings structure their relationships that make the determination of when a “spousal relationship” exists difficult to determine. With married couples, the relationship is easy to establish. The marriage ceremony is a public declaration of their commitment and intent. Relationships outside marriage are much more difficult to ascertain. Rarely is there any type of “public” declaration of intent. Often people begin cohabiting with little forethought or planning. Their motivation is often nothing more than wanting to “be together”. Some individuals have chosen to enter relationships outside marriage because they did not want the legal obligations imposed by that status. Some individuals have simply given no thought as to how their relationship would operate. Often the date when the cohabitation actually began is blurred because people “ease into” situations, spending more and more time together. Agreements between people verifying when their relationship began and how it will operate often do not exist.
[45] In Mother 1, Mr. Justice Myers referred to a list of 22 factors grouped into seven categories, from Maldowich v. Penttinen, (1980), 17 R.F.L. (2d) 376 (Ont. Dist. Ct.), that have frequently been cited in this and other courts for the purpose of determining whether a relationship was marriage-like, at para. 134 of Mother 1:
1. Shelter:
(a) Did the parties live under the same roof?
(b) What were the sleeping arrangements?
(c) Did anyone else occupy or share the available accommodation?
2. Sexual and Personal Behaviour:
(a) Did the parties have sexual relations? If not, why not?
(b) Did they maintain an attitude of fidelity to each other?
(c) What were their feelings toward each other?
(d) Did they communicate on a personal level?
(e) Did they eat their meals together?
(f) What, if anything, did they do to assist each other with problems or during illness?
(g) Did they buy gifts for each other on special occasions?
3. Services:
What was the conduct and habit of the parties in relation to:
(a) preparation of meals;
(b) washing and mending clothes;
(c) shopping;
(d) household maintenance; and
(e) any other domestic services?
4. Social:
(a) Did they participate together or separately in neighbourhood and community activities?
(b) What was the relationship and conduct of each of them toward members of their respective families and how did such families behave towards the parties?
5. Societal:
What was the attitude and conduct of the community toward each of them and as a couple?
6. Support (economic):
(a) What were the financial arrangements between the parties regarding the provision of or contribution toward the necessaries of life (food, clothing, shelter, recreation, etc.)?
(b) What were the arrangements concerning the acquisition and ownership of property?
(c) Was there any special financial arrangement between them which both agreed would be determinant of their overall relationship?
7. Children:
What was the attitude and conduct of the parties concerning children?
[46] In Austin v. Goerz, 2007 BCCA 586, the Court of Appeal cautioned against a “checklist approach”; rather, a court should "holistically" examine all the relevant factors. Cases like Molodowich provide helpful indicators of the sorts of behaviour that society associates with a marital relationship, the Court of Appeal said; however, “the presence or absence of any particular factor cannot be determinative of whether a relationship is marriage-like” (para. 58).
[47] In Weber v. Leclerc, 2015 BCCA 492, the Court of Appeal again affirmed that there is no checklist of characteristics that will be found in all marriages and then concluded with respect to evidence of intentions:
[23] The parties’ intentions – particularly the expectation that the relationship will be of lengthy, indeterminate duration – may be of importance in determining whether a relationship is “marriage-like”. While the court will consider the evidence expressly describing the parties’ intentions during the relationship, it will also test that evidence by considering whether the objective evidence is consonant with those intentions.
[24] The question of whether a relationship is “marriage-like” will also typically depend on more than just their intentions. Objective evidence of the parties’ lifestyle and interactions will also provide direct guidance on the question of whether the relationship was “marriage-like”.
[48] Significantly for this case, the courts have looked to mutual intent in order to find a marriage-like relationship. See, for example, L.E. v. D.J., 2011 BCSC 671 and Buell v. Unger, 2011 BCSC 35; Davey Estate v. Gruyaert, 2005 CarswellBC 3456 at 13 and 35.
[49] In Mother 1, Myers J. concluded his analysis of the law with the following learned comment:
[143] Having canvassed the law relating to the nature of a marriage-like relationship, I will digress to point out the problematic nature of the concept. It may be apparent from the above that determining whether a marriage-like relationship exists sometimes seems like sand running through one's fingers. Simply put, a marriage-like relationship is akin to a marriage without the formality of a marriage. But as the cases mentioned above have noted, people treat their marriages differently and have different conceptions of what marriage entails.
[50] In short, the determination of whether the parties in this case lived in a marriage-like relationship is a fact-specific inquiry that a trial judge would need to make on a “holistic” basis, having regard to all of the evidence. While the trial judge may consider the various factors listed in the authorities, those factors would not be treated as a checklist and no single factor or category of factors would be treated as being decisive.
E. Is There a Reasonable Claim of a Marriage-Like Relationship?
[51] In this case, many of the Molodowich factors are missing:
a) The parties never lived under the same roof. They never slept together. They were never in the same place at the same time during the relationship. The last time they saw each other in person was in November 2017, before the relationship began.
b) The parties never had consensual sex. They did not hug, kiss or hold hands. With the exception of the alleged sexual assault, they never touched one another physically.
c) The parties expressed care and affection for one another, but they rarely shared personal information or interest in their lives outside of their direct topic of communication. They did not write about their families, their friends, their religious beliefs or their work.
d) They expressed concern and support for one another when the other felt unwell or experienced health issues, but they did not provide any care or assistance during illness or other problems.
e) They did not assist one another with domestic chores.
f) They did not share their relationship with their peers or their community. There is no allegation, for example, that Mr. Dorje told his fellow monks or any of his followers about the relationship. There is no allegation that Ms. Han told her friends or any co-workers. Indeed, there is no allegation that anyone, with the exception of Ms. Han’s mother, knew about the relationship. Although Mr. Dorje gave Ms. Han’s mother a gift, he never met the mother and he never spoke to her.
g) They did not intend to have a child together. The child was conceived as a result of a sexual assault. While Mr. Dorje expressed interest in “meeting” the child, he never followed up. He currently has no relationship with the child. There is no allegation he has sought access or parenting arrangements.
[52] The only Molodowich factor of any real relevance in this case is economic support. Mr. Dorje provided the funds with which Ms. Han purchased a condominium. Mr. Dorje initially wrote that he wanted to buy a property with the money, but, he wrote, “It’s the same thing if you buy [it]”.
[53] Mr. Dorje also provided a significant amount of money for Ms. Han’s postpartum care and the child’s first year of life.
[54] This financial support may have been primarily for the benefit of the child. Even the condominium, Ms. Han wrote, was primarily for the benefit of the child.
[55] However, in my view, a trial judge may attach a broader significance to the financial support from Mr. Dorje than child support alone. A trial judge may find that the money Mr. Dorje provided to Ms. Han at her request was an expression of his commitment to her in circumstances in which he could not commit physically. The money and the gifts may be seen by the trial judge to have been a form of down payment by Mr. Dorje on a promise of continued emotional and financial support for Ms. Han, or, in Mr. Dorje’s own words, “Taking care of her and you are my duty for life” (emphasis added).
[56] On the other hand, I find it difficult to attach any particular significance to the fact that Mr. Dorje agreed to provide funds for Ms. Han to purchase a wedding ring. It appears to me that Ms. Han demanded that Mr. Dorje buy her a wedding ring, not that the ring had any mutual meaning to the parties as a marriage symbol. But it is relevant, in my view, that Mr. Dorje provided $20,000 USD to Ms. Han for something she wanted that was of no benefit to the child.
[57] Further, Ms. Han alleges that the parties intended to live together. At a minimum, a trial judge may find that the discussions about where Ms. Han and the child would live reflected a mutual intention of the parties to see one another and spend time together when they could.
[58] Mr. Dorje argues that an intention to live together at some point in the future is not sufficient to show that an existing relationship was marriage-like. He argues that the question of whether the relationship was marriage-like requires more than just intentions, citing Weber, supra.
[59] In my view, the documentary evidence referred to above provides some objective evidence in this case that the parties progressed beyond mere intentions. As stated, the parties appear to have expressed genuine care and affection for one another. They appear to have discussed marriage, trust, honesty, finances, mutual obligations and acquiring family property. These are not matters one would expect Mr. Dorje to discuss with a friend or a follower, or even with the mother of his child, without a marriage-like element of the relationship.
[60] A trial judge may find on the facts alleged by Ms. Han that the parties loved one another and would have lived together, but were unable to do so because of Mr. Dorje’s religious duties and nomadic lifestyle.
[61] The question I raised in the introduction to these reasons is whether a relationship that began on-line and never moved into the physical world can be marriage-like.
[62] Notably, the definition of a spouse in the Family Law Act does not require that the parties live together, only that they live with another person in a marriage-like relationship.
[63] In Connor Estate, 2017 BCSC 978, Mr. Justice Kent found that a couple that maintained two entirely separate households and never lived under the same roof formed a marriage-like relationship. (Connor Estate was decided under the intestacy provisions of the Wills, Estates and Succession Act, S.B.C. 2009, c. 13 ("WESA"), but courts have relied on cases decided under WESA and the FLA interchangeably for their definitions of a spouse.) Mr. Justice Kent found:
[50] The evidence is overwhelming and I find as a fact that Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor loved and cared deeply about each other, and that they had a loving and intimate relationship for over 20 years that was far more than mere friendship or even so-called "friendship with benefits". I accept Mr. Chambers' evidence that he would have liked to share a home with Ms. Connor after the separation from his wife, but was unable to do so because of Ms. Connor's hoarding illness. The evidence amply supports, and I find as a fact, that Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor loved each other, were faithful to each other, communicated with each other almost every day when they were not together, considered themselves to be (and presented themselves to be) "husband and wife" and were accepted by all who knew them as a couple.
[64] Connor Estate may be distinguishable from this case because Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor were physically intimate for over 20 years, and presented themselves to the world as a married couple.
[65] Other decisions in which a marriage-like relationship has been found to exist despite the parties not living together have involved circumstances in which the couple lived under the same roof at previous points in the relationship, and the issue was whether they continued to be spouses after they took up separate residences: in Thompson v. Floyd, 2001 BCCA 78, the parties had lived together for a period of at least 11 years; in Roach v. Dutra, 2010 BCCA 264, the parties had lived together for approximately three years.
[66] However, as Mr. Justice Kent noted in Connor Estate:
[48] … [W]hile much guidance might be found in this case law, the simple fact is that no two cases are identical (and indeed they usually vary widely) and it is the assessment of evidence as a whole in this particular case which matters.
[67] Mr. Justice Kent concluded:
[53] Like human beings themselves, marriage-like relationships can come in many and various shapes. In this particular case, I have no doubt that such a relationship existed …
[68] As stated, Ms. Han’s claim is novel. It may even be weak. Almost all of the traditional factors are missing. The fact that Ms. Han and Mr. Dorje never lived under the same roof, never shared a bed and never even spent time together in person will militate against a finding they lived with one another in a marriage-like relationship. However, the traditional factors are not a mandatory check-list that confines the “elastic” concept of a marriage-like relationship. And if the COVID pandemic has taught us nothing else, it is that real relationships can form, blossom and end in virtual worlds.
[69] In my view, the merits of Ms. Han’s claim should be decided on the evidence. Subject to an overriding prejudice to Mr. Dorje, she should have leave to amend the notice of family claim. However, she should also provide meaningful particulars of the alleged marriage-like relationship.
F. Delay / Prejudice
[70] Ms. Han filed her notice of family claim on July 17, 2019. She brought this application to amend approximately one year and nine months after she filed the pleading, just over two months before the original trial date.
[71] Ms. Han’s delay was made all that more remarkable by her change in position from January 19, 2021, when she confirmed, through counsel, that she was not seeking spousal support in this case.
[72] Ms. Han gave notice of her intention to proceed with this application to Mr. Dorje on March 16, 2021. By the time the application was heard, the parties had conducted examinations for discovery without covering the issues that would arise from a claim of spousal support.
[73] Also, in April, Ms. Han produced additional documents, primarily text messages, that may be relevant to her claim of spousal support, but were undecipherable to counsel for Mr. Dorje, who does not read Mandarin.
[74] This application proceeded largely on documents selected and translated by counsel for Ms. Han. I was informed that Mandarin translations of the full materials would take 150 days.
[75] Understandably in the circumstances, Mr. Dorje argued that an amendment two months before trial would be neither just nor convenient. He argued that he would be prejudiced by an adjournment so as to allow Ms. Han to advance a late claim of spousal support.
[76] The circumstances changed on May 6, 2021, when Madam Justice Walkem adjourned the trial to July 2022 and reset it for 25 days. Madam Justice Walkem noted that most of the witnesses live internationally and require translators. She also noted that paternity may be in issue, and Mr. Dorje may amend his pleadings to raise that issue. It seems clear that, altogether apart from the potential spousal support claim, the parties were not ready to proceed to trial on June 7, 2021.
[77] In my view, any remaining prejudice to Mr. Dorje is outweighed by the importance of having all of the issues between the parties decided on their merits.
[78] Ms. Han’s delay and changes of position on spousal support may be a matter to de addressed in a future order of costs; but they are not grounds on which to deny her leave to amend the notice of family claim.
CONCLUSION
[79] Ms. Han is granted leave to amend her notice of family claim in the form attached as Appendix A to the notice of application to include a claim for spousal support.
[80] Within 21 days, or such other deadline as the parties may agree, Ms. Han must provide particulars of the marriage-like relationship alleged in the amended notice of family claim.
[81] Ms. Han is entitled to costs of this application in the cause of the spousal support claim.
“Master Elwood”
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writing on the wall meaning 在 Pakar diari hati Facebook 的最佳貼文
Di antara membaca,bercakap dan menulis,mana satu nak dimulakan dulu?
1. Bercakap.
Usia KRITIKAL : 0-2 tahun.
...Continue ReadingBetween Reading, talking and writing, which one to start first?
1. Talk.
Critical Age: 0-2 years old.
This is the most important element in the life of a human being. Talking is important for us to communicate about our thoughts and feelings so that the people around know what we want to say so that there will be no misunderstanding.
Start since your child just came out to see the world, which is within 24 hours after being born. Greet your child, give greetings... say 'hi', kiss.... hug, say whatever you want to say. Just chat. It looks like it's not right when sitting in the ward, we're talking alone while giving eye contact to the baby. But that's the first thing we have to do since our child was born. And konsistenlah talks to them until they grow up, nak2 in the first two years.
I often ask parents, ' child can talk or not? 'most answer' already, said... ABC, 123 all he knows. Even jawi letters. ' I said, that's not talking. Where is the same talk by knowing those letters!
Talking is communicating. There is an eye contact, got a child answering back to the question, react to the name from mom dad, calling, not mention it.
Once when my child was admitted in the hospital, there was a mother 'talking' to her child who was a year and 6 months in spelling. That's strong! ' B.U.K.U... Book! ' I guess he's the target of his child to be good at spelling while talking. The rest of the time, I see his son just given a gadget and 'learn' through gadgets. Rampage Toksah say it. As long as something is wrong, the child is just raging. Noisy one ward listen!
I'm crazy looking at it!
Spelling is not talking!
Reading is not talking!
Counting not talking!
Talk need to have eye contact.
Speaking must have a understanding between two parties.
Talk must have expression and expression.
Talking is communication, there are people who listen, there are people who reply back.
Speaking must have a impersonation, better to copy in terms of style or sound of rattles.
Giving gadgets and learning at this age?
If possible, avoid it!
2. Doodling & painting
Critical Age: 1-3 years old.
It's important for your child to learn to hold a pencil or a crayon or a big painting brush at the moment for a doodling session.
If you're worried that your child will doodle the wall, buy a big paper paper, paste it on the wall of the house. If there is more budget, wall the wall with paint is easy to delete. If it's so hard to do, just accept that the walls of the house have to be doodle.
Contenting helps the child express their mind.
Doodling helps children strengthen hand muscles.
Content there is a visual element of perceptual (this is another chapter).
Doodling creates midline crossing abilities.
Doodling helps the formation of a finger holding a pencil (Pencil Grip).
Don't care where to doodle. On Paper, on the floor, near the wall, books... we are grown up, please think of the best way to encourage children to be doodling. Follow everyone who wants to control your heart and feelings to see the house messy or what.... most importantly, think of the way!
May I make the element of the sand, the ground, the stone... for the wood twig... no complaints, as long as the child can be conteng.
During this age, don't force your child to write too much. It's fun to ask to write ABC, number, jawi letter...
Teach child painting after doodling.
Paint bentuk2 that is around us.
Animal Paint, plants, homes, or anything.
Accompany the child to draw.
Use water colour, crayon or any drawing tools.
It's not a waste to spend money buying these things. Not a loss!
3. Coloring.
Critical Age: 1-3 years old.
Teach the color at this age.
Coloring activity helps children form straight, vertical, oblique, rounded lines and so on.
The Color of the painting that is in let it fit the age of the child.
Don't be asked to coloring the complex painting. If possible, avoid coloring the painting inside the gadget.
Coloring in gadgets does not bring any meaning to hand muscle. How to develop a memory motor against the line?
At this age, you don't have to worry if the children are still not good at the color in the line. Still the color out the line is normal. No problem. The most important thing is, he knows where to color it.
Create a concept of coloring as early as possible. No need to wait until school is just about to coloring.
No need to bring to the mall, coloring at the that has of for in, then you have to pay. The color at home is better. It's better for us to draw a picture of our family, ask our children to be color. Simple. Saving a lot.
4. Writing and reading.
Critical age of writing: 4 years
Starting age knowing letters and numbers: 4 years
Beginning of reading age: 5 years and above.
Age that is considered late to be able to read: 11 years.
Logically, when the child has learned a lot of lines through doodling and coloring, it's self-prepare to write. This time it's easy to write letters and numbers even though they don't know the letters and numbers yet. No problem.
Can teach to write in a session, then teach to know the letter in the later session.... at the age of 4! This is the earliest age! Not too late yet.
No need to worry because once a child and learn letters, a few letters... start to read at the age of 5
If we follow all this process gradually, God willing, the child has no problem! No need to worry too much.
If we 'turn' all this process, there will be consequences because it has violated the development of a human being.
If you feel there is an effect, don't be shy to bring the therapist to fix the problems that are available.
So much.
.........
Picture for example only not encourage for children to doodle walls.
Parents please paste the big paper on the wall so that the children are free to play at the same time they can work comfortably
Source: Liyana Raya
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Follow the wholesale expert page for baby stuff
Follow / add years Rozila TrbTranslated
writing on the wall meaning 在 Roundfinger Facebook 的精選貼文
"หนังสือมึงแม่งสุดมากว่ะ ชอบ"
"ขอสั่งซื้อซัก 100 เล่มดิ"
เมื่อคืนก่อนนอน ผมเปิดเจอข้อความนี้ในกล่องข้อความ ใจเต้นตูมตามด้วยความดีใจ ผมมักพูดเสมอว่า ใครชอบผลงานของเรา เราก็ดีใจทั้งนั้น แต่ที่ดีใจที่สุดคือเวลาเพื่อนชอบ แถมนี่เป็นเพื่อนที่เป็นนักอ่านตัวกลั่น เป็นคนมีความสามารถขนาดนี้ จะไม่ให้ดีใจอย่างไรไหว กระนั้น ที่ดีใจที่สุดคือข้อความที่สองนั่นแหละ
ร้อยเล่ม! เชียวนะ!
ก็ใช่ครับ, จำนวนก็น่าดีใจ แต่ที่ดีใจมากๆ ก็คือ การที่มีใครสักคนซื้อหนังสือเราไปแจกคนอื่นที่เขารัก ย่อมหมายความว่ามันต้องมีคุณค่าพอสมควร ผมบอกแท็บ-รวิศ หาญอุตสาหะ ไปตรงๆ ว่าดีใจและขอบคุณมาก แท็บตอบกลับมาว่า
"หนังสือดีมาก เชื่อว่าจะเปลี่ยนชีวิตคนได้เลย"
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เรื่องน่าดีใจสำหรับผู้เขียนก็คือ มีเจ้าของธุรกิจและผู้บริหารสั่งซื้อ "สิ่งสำคัญของชีวิต" เป็นจำนวนหลายสิบเล่ม และร้อยเล่มมาแล้วหลายชุด ดีใจจริงๆ ครับที่มีคนเห็นว่าหนังสือเล่มนี้เป็น "ของขวัญ" สำหรับคนอื่นได้
ยิ่งช่วงนี้ ใครกำลังมองหา "ของขวัญปีใหม่" อยู่ ก็จะดีใจครับ ถ้า "สิ่งสำคัญของชีวิต" ถูกมอบให้กันเป็น "ของขวัญ"
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สุดท้ายนี้ ขอบคุณแท็บมากๆ สำหรับรีวิวเลอค่านี้ ผมหลับไปตอนห้าทุ่มกว่าหลังอ่านข้อความของแท็บ ตื่นมาเจอสเตตัสยาวเฟื้อยนี้ อยากถามเขามากๆ ว่า "มึงไปเอาเรี่ยวแรงมาจากไหน"
แต่นี่แหละครับ, No condition > Do it now!
---
ไหนๆ ก็ไหนๆ ขอห้อยท้ายโฆษณาเลยก็แล้วกันครับ, สำหรับท่านที่สนใจสั่งซื้อจำนวนมาก (จะได้ส่วนลดพิเศษ) สามารถติดต่อได้ที่สำนักพิมพ์ KOOB โทร. 0639911075 ครับผม
สั่งออนไลน์ได้ที่ m.me/koobbooks
ชวนอ่านรีวิวนี้ครับ แท็บเขียนได้ทรงพลังมาก :)
สิ่งสำคัญของชีวิต
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บอกตรงๆว่าทุกครั้งที่หยิบหนังสือของ “นิ้วกลม” ขึ้นมาอ่าน ผมอดทึ่งไม่ได้ว่าเพื่อนสมัยเด็กๆที่จำภาพได้แต่เรื่องไม่ค่อยมีสาระที่เราทำด้วยกัน จะเติบโตมากลายเป็นผู้ใหญ่ที่มีความคิดที่คมคายและถ่ายถอดออกมาได้อย่างยอดเยี่ยมเพียงนี้
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วันก่อนผมไปทานข้าวเย็นกับเพื่อนๆมา เลยได้หนังสือเล่มนี้จากเอ๋ด้วยตัวเองเลย วันนี้เลยอยากมาเล่าให้ฟังครับว่า ผมอ่านหนังสือเล่มนี้แล้วรู้สึกยังไงบ้าง
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หนังสือเล่มนี้เป็นหนังสือถ่ายถอดเรื่องเล่าของคุณมานิต อุดมคุณธรรม
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คุณมานิตเป็นเจ้าของแบรนด์เสื้อผ้า PJ Jeans แบรนด์ S’fare เป็นผู้ก่อตั้งห้างโรบินสัน เป็นผู้ริเริ่มศูนย์การค้า Fashion Island, Future Park รังสิตและบางแค ปัจจุบันดำรงตำแหน่งเป็นประธานกรรมการบริหาร Homepro และยังพัฒนาโครงการอสังหาริมทรัพย์อีกมากมาย
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เรื่องที่ผมชอบที่สุดในหนังสือเล่มนี้เลยคือคำสอนของคุณมานิตที่ว่า
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“No Condition”
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“อย่าสร้างเงื่อนไขให้กับตัวเอง”
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ถ้าคุณเป็นคนที่ไม่สร้างเงื่อนไขให้กับตัวเอง คุณจะเป็นคนที่ศักยภาพสูงมาก
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เรามาลองพิจารณาประเด็นนี้กันดูนะครับ
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เวลาตั้งใจอย่าง”แน่วแน่” แล้วมันเกิดอะไรขึ้นบ้าง
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เราตั้งใจไว้แล้วว่าจะไม่กินขนม แต่เราก็บอกตัวเองว่าไม่เป็นไรน่าวันนี้เหนื่อย อยากกินของหวานๆ ขอเว้นซักวันละกัน
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เราตั้งใจไว้แล้วว่าจะอ่านหนังสือทุกวัน แต่วันนี้เหนื่อยจัง ดูทีวีซักวันก็คงไม่เป็นไรนะ
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เราตั้งใจไว้แล้วว่าจะออกกำลังกายอะไรก็ได้เล็กๆน้อยๆทุกวัน แต่เมื่อคืนนอนดึกจัง เว้นซักวันละกัน
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เราตั้งใจไว้แล้วว่าจะไม่โมโหลูกอีก จะใช้ความเข้าใจแทน แต่วันนี้ขอซักวันละกันมันอดไม่ได้จริงๆ
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เราตั้งใจไว้แล้วว่าจะไม่ด่าลูกน้องอีก จะใช้การสอนแทน แต่วันนี้ขอซักวันละกันมันสุดเดือดจริงๆ
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หรืออาจจะเป็นแบบนี้ก็ได้ครับ
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เพราะอากาศมันร้อนไป ฉันวิ่งไม่ไหว
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เพราะแอร์มันร้อนไป ฉันทำงานไม่ไหว
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เพราะแอร์มันหนาวไป ฉันทำงานไม่ไหว
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เพราะมันน่าเบื่อเกินไป ฉันทนอ่านไม่ไหว
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เพราะการเดินทางมันเหนื่อย ฉันอ่านหนังสือไม่ไหว ขอนอนดู series ดีกว่านะ
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เพราะ.... ฉันเลยต้อง...
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ฯลฯ
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ทั้งหมดนี้ไม่ใช่ว่าเราต้องทำอะไรเยอะแยะนะครับ คนเราพักได้ แต่ไม่ควรผิดสัญญากับตัวเอง
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อ่านเรื่องนี้แล้วผมนึกถึงคุณแต๋ม ศุภจี CEO ของเครือดุสิต ที่มีอยู่วันนึงที่เธอยุ่งมากๆทำให้ไม่มีเวลาออกกำลังกายเลย พอไปถึงสนามบินก็จะหมดวันแล้ว คุณแต๋มก็เลยวิ่งอยู่ใน terminal นั้นแหละครับ
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คนที่จะทำอะไรจริงๆ จะไม่มีข้ออ้างให้กับตัวเอง ไม่ง่วง ไม่เหนื่อย ไม่ร้อน ไม่หนาว ไม่หิว ไม่อิ่ม
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มีแต่ไม่อยากผิดสัญญาที่ให้กับตัวเอง
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ม้นสะท้อนอะไรให้เราเห็นบ้างครับ
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โลกนี้มีคนที่อยากทำอะไรให้สำเร็จมากมาย แต่เกือบทั้งหมดได้แค่ฝัน แค่นั้นจริงๆ ทำไมถึงเป็นแบบนั้นนะ?
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คนที่ทำฝันให้สำเร็จเขาเป็นยังไงกัน
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คุณมานิตบอกว่าข้อแรกเลยต้อง “Do it now”
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“เพราะ Do it now เป็นหัวใจของชีวิตที่ไม่มีเงื่อนไขเลย ชีวิตคนเรามันอยากๆเบื่อๆ เดี๋ยวอยากเดี๋ยวเบื่อ เดี๋ยวชอบเดี๋ยวไม่ชอบ เดี๋ยวมีความกระตือรือร้นน่าตื่นเต้น พอเลยไปซักพัก ความกระตือรือล้นมันก็คลายไป นิสัยแบบนี้มันทำลาย Integrity หรือความรับผิดชอบในสิ่งที่ตัวเองพูด เวลาชอบจะทำเลย แต่พอช้าหน่อยจะเลิกแล้ว โดยไม่สนใจว่าเป้าหมายของเราคืออะไร”
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“ Integrity คือตัวเรา คือคำพูดของเรา เราต้องให้เกียรติคำพูดตัวเอง เมื่อไรเราไม่ให้เกียรติคำพูดก็ไม่มีตัวเรา มันลึกขนาดนี้เลยนะ หมายความว่าตัวคุณมีอยู่เพราะคุณมี intetrity พูดอะไรรักษาคำพูด พูดอะไรทำหมด คุณเป็นคำพูดนั้น แต่เมื่อไรที่คุณไม่ทำ ตัวคุณไม่มีแล้ว ความน่าเชื่อถือของคุณหมดไป
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ถ้าคุณเป็นคนคำไหนคำนั้นพูดแล้วทำ สิ่งที่คุณพูดจะศักดิ์สิทธิ์เลย พูดแล้วเป็นจริง พูดเงินได้เงิน พูดทองได้ทอง”
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ของแบบนี้ต้องทำ 100% จะมาทำ 98% หรือ 95% ไม่ได้เพราะ 3% 5% ที่เรายอมหละหลวมอ้อนข้อให้กับตัวเองนั้นแหละ จะกลับมาทำให้ทั้งหมดล้มเหลว เพราะเมื่อเราขาดความมุ่งมั่น จิตใต้สำนึกของเราก็จะอ่อนแอ เพราะฉะนั้นทุกอย่างต้อง 100% ไม่มีคำว่า 95%
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“เมื่อไรเราไม่ให้เกียรติคำพูดก็ไม่มีตัวเรา มันลึกขนาดนี้เลยนะ “
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ของแบบนี้ถ้าจะทำต้องเอาจริง
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“Do it now, แล้วเราจะมีศักยภาพสูงมาก”
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พูดง่าย ทำยาก แต่ถ้าอยากทำความฝันให้เป็นจริงต้องทำครับ
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_______________________
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"เนื้อแท้"
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ความหมายที่ลึกซึ้งที่สุดของสิ่งที่มนุษย์ยึดถือ
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“คำว่าเนื้อแท้ คือการหลุดจากหน้ากากตัวเอง หลุดออกจากการแสแสร้งทำ หลุดออกจากความดูดี เหลือแต่เนื้อแท้ที่ชอบก็ชอบ ไม่ชอบก็ไม่ชอบ”
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“มนุษย์เราอยากดูดี แสแสร้งแกล้งทำ และมีเงื่อนไขตัวอยากดูดีคือตัวที่น่ากลัวที่สุด”
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“อย่างกรณีเขาเชิญไปพูดในที่สาธารณะ เราไม่กล้าไปเพราะอะไร บางคนคิดว่าฉันพูดไม่เก่ง เสียงในหัวเรามันจะบอกว่าเราพูดไม่เก่ง พูดไม่ดีแล้วจะขึ้นไม่ไปทำ หน้าแตกเปล่าๆ นี่แหละคือคำว่าดูดี มันมาจากจิตใต้สำนึกของความไม่เชื่อมั่นในตนเอง ความกังวล ความห่วงหน้าตา เลยไม่กล้าขึ้นเวที เพราะขึ้นไปแล้วไม่ก็ไม่รู้จะพูดอะไร มันบล๊อกเราทุกทาง แต่ถ้าเราลองไม่คิดอะไรเลยแล้วขึ้นไปพูด มันจะพูดได้เลย”
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“เราต้องทลายกำแพงนั้นลง กำแพงเล็กๆที่สะสมมาจากประสบการณ์ของเรา มาจากการขาดความเชื่อมั่น คิดว่าตัวเองมีปมด้อย แล้วพูดย้ำถึงข้อบกพร่องกับตัวเองอยู่แบบนั้น จำไว้ว่าเสียงในหัวไม่เคยให้ประโยชน์เลย เพราะมันมาจากจุดที่อ่อนแอของเรา แล้วมันจะตอกย้ำข้อบกพร่องของเรา แนะนำให้ก้าวข้าม เลือที่จะไม่รับฟังเสียงในหัว มันบงการอยู่ตลอด ถ้าทลายกำแพงนี้ทิ้งไปได้ คุณยังทำอะไรได้อีกเยอะเลย พลังข้างในยังเหลืออีกเยอะ พอลงมือทำ เราจะเปลี่ยนพลังนั้นเป็นความคิดสร้างสรรค์ กระตือรือร้น ต่อยอดขึ้นไปเรื่อยๆ พอก้าวข้ามคำว่า “ทำไม่ได้” พ้นแล้ว คุณจะอยากทำต่อ”
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ส่วนตัวผมเคยมีประสบการณ์แบบนี้เลยครับ พอผมทลายกำแพงเล็กๆของผมลงไปได้ ต้องบอกว่าเหมือนได้เกิดใหม่เลย เหมือนเราทิ้งตัวตนบางอย่างของเราไป แล้วได้เจอกับเราในอีก version นึงที่เราเองก็ไม่เคยคิดว่าจะทำได้
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พอทำได้ครั้งนึงแล้วมันจะอยากทำอีกครับ
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ที่สำคัญคือต้องกล้าที่จะสู้กับความกลัว และลุกขึ้นมาทำอะไรซักอย่างที่มันค้างคาใจคุณให้ได้ครับ
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________________________
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ใจที่แข็งแรง
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5 เดือนคือเวลาที่คุณมานิตใช้ฟื้นฟูตัวเองจากการป่วยเป็นโรคร้ายแรงอย่างเส้นเลือดในสมองแตก ให้กลับมามีสุขภาพร่างกายที่ปรกติสมบูรณ์ได้
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12 เดือนคือเวลาที่จากคนที่ไม่เคยออกกำลังกายเลย ”แม้แต่น้อย” เตรียมตัวจนวิ่งจบมาราธอน
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แค่สองประโยคนี้ก็ทำให้เรื่องราวในการดูแลร่างกายและจิตใจของตัวเองของคุณมานิตน่าสนใจมากๆแล้ว
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คุณมานิตเล่าเรื่องตอนป่วยว่า
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“ตอนนั้นคุณหมอบอกว่าไม่มีทางรักษาเลย นอกจากว่าเราจะต้องใช้เวลาหาวิธีที่จะพัฒนากายของเราให้ได้ ก็แนะนำว่าถ้ามีเวลา 6 เดือน ให้ 3 เดือนแรกต้องฟื้นให้ได้ 90% เราก็คิดตามว่า ถ้าปล่อยให้สมองมันเฉาอย่างนี้ สี่-ห้าเดือน ไม่มีทางเลยที่จะดึงกลับขึ้นมาได้ เพราะฉะนั้นในสามเดือนเราจะพยายามทำให้มันขึ้นมาเท่าเดิมให้ได้”
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“กายภาพบำบัดเป็นเรื่องสำคัญที่คุณต้องเชื่อฟังหมอและมีวินัยไปทำ เพราะมันเป็นการกระตุ้นเซลล์ที่ตายให้ตื่นตัว แต่บ่อยครั้งที่คนป่วย คิดว่าตัวเองเป็นคนป่วยก็ล้าแล้ว พอจะออกกำลังอะไร รู้สึกว่ามันเหนื่อยมาก นี่คืออุปสรรคอันแรกเลยนะ คนมักไปกายภาพบำบัดด้วยความเซ็งและเบื่อ เพราะทรมาน แต่ผมไปด้วความกระตือรือร้น มันไม่เหมือนกัน
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แค่รถพยาบาลจะมาเข็นผม ผมยังบอกไม่ต้องมาเลย เพราะผมจะเดินไปเอง นี่ตัวที่หนึ่ง ตัวที่สองคือ ไม่มีใครรู้ดีกว่าตัวเรา เพราะฉะนั้นผมรู้เลยว่าขาขวาผมไม่มีแรง มือขวาผมไม่มีแรง ผมเอาถุงทรายมาถ่วงเพื่อให้ขามีแรงมากขึ้น อันนี้คือคิดเอง เราซื้อถุงทรายมาถ่วงทั้งสองข้างเลย ซ้ายห้ากิโล ขวาสิบกิโล ทำให้ขาขวาหนักกว่า แล้วเวลาเดินนี่ปกติถ้าเป็นอัมพฤกษ์ขามันจะเป๋ เพราะไม่มีแรงจะบิด เราก็บิดมันเลย ตอนนั้นบิดด้วยใจ ใช้ความรู้สึกบิดมัน เคยอยากแพ้นะ พอแพ้แล้วอีกหน่อยคุณก็จะเป็นแบบนี้ตลอดไป ก็ต้องฝืนให้ได้ ถ้าคุณไม่ฝินมัน ยอมให้มันผิดปรกติ ก็แสดงว่าชีวิตคุณต้องเป็นอย่างนี้แล้ว ลำบากหน่อย แต่ต้องชนะมันแล้วก็เดินเอง บังคับตัวเองให้เดินตรงๆ มือไม่มีแรงเวลาเดินก็ยกขึ้นเลย ถึงแม้มือนี้อ่อนแรงก็ใช้จิตเราฝึกดึงขึ้นมา คนป่วยถ้าไม่ใช้พลังจิตมันไม่มีทางเลย ถ้าเอาแต่คิดว่าฉันล้า ฉันเหนื่อย พลังจิตไม่ช่วยคุณเลย แต่อารมณ์ต่างหากทำให้คุณแพ้มัน”
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“มาราธอนทำให้ผมเอาชนะสโตรกได้ เพราะว่าเราผ่านความลำบากของชีวิตที่ร่างกายไปไม่ได้เรายังชนะมันมาแล้ว ผมจบมาราธอนสามครั้ง มันสะสมสปิริตนี้ไว้ในตัว พอมาเป็นสโตรก ผมไม่เคยกังวลเลย ไม่เคยคิดว่าตัวเองจะพิการเลย คิดแต่ว่าตัวเองจะกลับไปเป็นเด็กอีกครั้ง แล้วต้องฝึกเดินใหม่ ตอนรู้ว่าเส้นเลือดในสมองแตก ผมไม่ตกใจเลย บอกภรรยาว่าตอนนี้ฉันเป็นเด็กนะ ขอเวลา 4-5 วันที่จะให้ประคองเข้าห้องน้ำ แต่ต่อไปจะไม่ให้ประคองแล้ว ต่อให้ต้องคลานเข้าห้องน้ำก็ไม่ต้องมาช่วย เราต้องมุ่งมั่นระดับนั้น”
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นี่คือหัวใจแห่งความมุ่งมั่นความมุ่งมั่นของเด็กชายที่เริ่มตัวด้วยจักรเย็บเสื้อผ้าเพียงสามตัวและเงินที่ยืมเพื่อนบ้านมาสองหมื่นบาท จนกลายมาเป็นเจ้าสัวหมื่นล้านในวันนี้
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ผมไม่แปลกใจในความสำเร็จของคุณมานิตจริงๆครับ
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ทันทีที่เขียนบทความนี้จบผมทักเอ๋ไปใน messenger ว่า ขอสั่งหนังสือมาแจกครอบครัว เพื่อน และน้องๆที่ทำงาน
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อยากให้คนรอบๆตัวผมได้อ่านสิ่งดีๆ
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เพราะตอนอ่านหนังสือเล่มนี้จบแล้วให้ความรู้สึก เหมือนตอนอ่านหนังสือของ Tina Seelig เรื่อง “what i wish I knew when I was 20”
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คือใครได้อ่าน ถือเป็นโชคดี
Important things of life
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Honestly, every time I pick up the book of "round fingers" I can't read that my friends when I was young, but the things that we didn't have a lot of sense that we did together will grow up to become an adult with a sharp mind and take it off. How awesome is this?
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I went to dinner with my friends the other day. I got this book from Ae. Today I want to tell you how I read this book.
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This book is a book to take off the story of Mr. Manit Udomvirtue.
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Mr. Manit is the owner of PJ's clothing brand. S ' fare brand, is the founder of Robinson mall. Fashion Island, Future Park Rangsit and Bangkhae. Now he is now as the President of Homepro and also developing many real estate projects.
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My favorite thing in this book is Mr. Manit's teaching
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“No Condition”
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"Don't create the conditions for yourself"
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If you are a person who doesn't create conditions for yourself, you will be a very high potential.
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Let's try to consider this issue.
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Time is "determined" so what happened?
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I intended not to eat snacks, but I told myself that it's okay. I'm tired today. I want to eat dessert. Let me have a day.
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I intended to read a book every day, but today I'm tired. I watch TV for a day. It's okay.
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I intended to exercise anything every day. But last night I slept late.
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I intended not to be angry with my kid again. I will use understanding instead. But today, I want one day. I can't help it.
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I intended not to scold my crew again. I will use teaching instead. But today I want one day. It's really hot.
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Or it could be like this.
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Because the weather is too hot I can't run
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Because the air conditioner is too hot I can't work
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Because the air conditioner is too cold I can't work
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Because it's too boring. I can't stand to read.
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Because the journey is tiring. I can't read books. Let me sleep and watch the series.
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Because.... so I have to...
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etc.
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All of these are not that we have to do a lot of things. We can rest, but we shouldn't break ourselves.
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After reading this, I thought of Mr. Tam Supaji, CEO of Dusit group. One day she was very busy. She didn't have time to exercise. When I arrived at the airport, it was almost over. So Khun Tam is running in terminal. That's it.
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Those who really do something will have no excuse for themselves. Not sleepy, not tired, not hot, no cold, no hungry, not full.
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I only don't want to break my promise that I give myself.
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What do you reflect on us?
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There are many people who want to accomplish things in this world, but most of them can only dream. Why is that?
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How is the one who completes the dream?
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Mr. Manit said first thing must be "Do it now"
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" Because Do it is the heart of life that is unconditional. Life wants to be bored. I want to be bored. I will be bored. I won't like it. I won't like it. I will be enthusiastic. When I will be exciting. When I go for a while. This kind of habit destroys Integrity or responsibility for what you say. When you like to do it. But when I'm slow, I will quit without care what our goal is "
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" Integrity is our words. When we have to honor our own words, we don't honor the words, we don't have ourselves. It's so deep. It means that you exist because you have intetrity. What do you say, keep your words. You are words. That's when you don't do it, you don't have it anymore. Your credibility is gone.
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If you are a person, the word, then do what you say will be holy. Say it and it is true. Speak money, money, gold, get gold
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This kind of stuff has to be done. 100 % can't do 98 % or 95 % because 3 % that we are willing to loose. I beg for myself. I will come back to make it all because when we lack commitment. Our subconscious will be weak. So everything must be 100 % there is no 95 %
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" When we don't honor words, we don't have myself. It's so deep
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This kind of stuff. If you want to do it, you
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"Do it now, then we will have a lot of potential"
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Easy to say, difficult to do, but if you want to make your dream come true, you must
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_______________________
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"Real meat"
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The deepest meaning of what man holds.
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" The word true texture is to fall off the mask. Fall out of pretending to fall out of the good looking good. But the real texture that I like. I like. Don't like, don't like it
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"Humans want to look good, pretend to do it and have conditions. I want to look good is the scariest one"
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" In case they invite you to speak in public. I don't dare to go. Why someone thinks that I'm not good at talking. The voice in my head will say that I'm not good at talking bad things. I won't go up and I won't break my face. This is the word good. It I don't believe in myself, worry, worry, so I don't dare to go on stage because I don't know what to say. It blocks me in every way. But if I try, I don't think about anything and say it, I will say
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" We have to break down the wall that small wall that accumulated from our experience from the lack of confidence. Think we have inferiority and repeat the flaws to ourselves. Remember that the voice in our head never benefits because it comes from our weak point. It will remind our flaws. I recommend you to choose not to listen to the voice in the head. It's always manipulative. If you can still do a lot of power inside. We will change the power. That's creative. Keep getting more active. It's enough to cross the word " can't do it " and you will want to do it "
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Personally, I have experienced this. When I broke down my small wall, I have to say that it seems like I have been reborn. It seems like I left something of our identity and met us in another version that I never thought I could do.
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When I do it once, I will want to do it again.
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The important thing is to fight fear and get up and do something that is in your heart.
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________________________
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Healthy heart
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5 months is the time that Mr. Manit uses to restore yourself from being sick. It's a serious stroke. Let's get back to healthy.
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12 months is the time from people who have never worked out "even" until the end of the marathon.
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Just these two sentences make the story of taking care of your own body and mind. Manit is very interesting.
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Mr. Manit told me when he was sick.
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" At that time, the doctor said that there is no way to heal unless we have to figure out how to develop our body. It is recommended that if we have 6 months, we have 3 months, we have to revive 90 % we think. If you let the brain be like this for four-five months, there is no way to pull it back. So in three months we will try to make it up the same
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" Physical therapy is important that you have to obey doctors and discipline because it is stimulates dead cells to stay awake. But often people think that they are sick people are sick people. When you are tired. When I feel very tiring. This is the first obstacle. People always go to physical therapy and bored because I'm suffering. But I go with enthusiasm is different.
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Just an ambulance will push me. I still say no need to come because I will walk by myself. The second one is nobody knows better than me. So I know that my right leg has no energy. My right hand has no energy. I put sand bag to keep my legs. More powerful. This is thinking by myself. I bought a bag of sand. Both of them. Left is five kilograms. It makes the right. It makes the right leg heavier. When I walk, it's normal. If it's palsy, it's a bag because I don't have energy to With my heart, I used to lose. When you lose, you will be like this forever. If you don't have to eat it. It's wrong. It means your life must be a bit difficult but you have to win it. Walk by myself, force myself to walk straight. My hands have no energy. When I walk up. Even if this hand is weak, I use my mind. I practice pulling up. If I don't use psychic power, there is no way. If I'm tired, I'm tired. I'm tired Make you lose to it "
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" Marathon makes me beat the stroke because we can't go through the struggle of life. We have won it. I finished three marathon. It accumulated this spirit in my body. When I never worry. I never thought I would be disabled. I only think about myself. I'm going back to be a kid again. I have to practice walking again. When I know that my stroke is not shocked. I told my wife that I'm a kid now. Give me 4-5 days to hold me to the bathroom. But I won't let you hold you anymore. Even if I have to Toilet don't have to help. We have to be that level of
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This is the heart of determination of a boy who started with only three clothes and money borrowed for ten thousand baht to become ten thousand millions today.
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I'm not surprised by Mr. Manit's success.
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As soon as I finished writing this article, I greeted Ae in messenger that I would like to order a book to give away family, friends and
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I want people around me to read good things.
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Because when I finished reading this book, I feel like when I read Tina Seelig's book "what I wish I knew when I was 20"
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Who has read it is luckyTranslated
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