Yesterday, I shared this list on my instastories and it resonated with so many. It was from an exercise we were doing about the words we use and the way we act.
On the left half of each paper is what they did and on the right half was how it made you feel.
To really get the heart of the lesson, we had to be authentic and vulnerable enough to draw from personal experiences to give our words.
One of my RIE coursemates, Brian, bravely shared a profoundly moving story about how he had arrived as an immigrant little boy in America, lost, scared, overwhelmed, with not a word of English and how immediately this group of boys much bigger than him started bullying him.
They hit him, they made fun of him, they ganged up and broke a little part of his spirit everyday. He had no clue what they were saying even as they shoved him into walls and shot pencils in the back of his head or found new and hurtful ways to taunt him.
Then, one day, a substitute teacher finally noticed him. For the first time, someone saw the scared, overwhelmed, lost little boy in the corner and not only did she lead the class to kindness with so much wisdom, but she also chose to see Brian not as broken but as worthy and brave and courageous.
That little boy never forgot her and grew up to be incredibly successful because of what she did. She changed the entire trajectory of his course because of what she did and how she made him feel.
Seen, heard, trusted, believed in, respected.
These words are in the end, just words. But as mamas and friends and family and part of the whole raising our little people, are we making safe spaces? How would someone describe how we made them feel? How would our children describe our words and actions and how it made them feel? Would their stories about us be on the top sheet or the bottom sheet?
***
Racheal Kwacz is a Child and Family Development Specialist, mama tribe advocate and writer.
As creator of the ‘RACHEAL Method’, she combines her 20+ years experience working with children in the USA and in Asia with the foundations of ‘Respectful Parenting’, leading parents and teachers around the world in raising kind, confident, compassionate, resilient little ones.
As a strong believer that learning never stops, she is currently in Beijing, China studying under Deborah Carlisle Solomon, author of Baby Knows Best and former executive director of RIE USA. When certified, she will be one of the only few in Malaysia to have undergone the program.
To learn more, connect with her on her website or follow her on Instagram, Facebook or her website @rachealkwacz!
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