2 nights ago, she almost slept through the night. Only woke up once at 2am. And then the next time was 6am. It was as close as through the night since she was born.
When i woke up at 8am, i was feeling so good about myself. I felt like i could conquer the world! With her night routine more or less established, i thought, it's time to start her on the day routine. I mean, if i could get the night right, I just need to replicate the same method for the day, then all will be perfect right?
N-O. NO!!
I tried to put her on a routine that day. Not only did she not follow it well (obviously not happening on Day 1), the night routine was in a mess too bcos she had slept too much that day. It completely backfired. She woke up 5 times that night. I cant remember when was the last night i looked in the mirror, but for some reason i did that night. I scared myself! Halloween came early! I couldn't recognise myself. But that thought lingered for only 2 secs before i moved on to what's more urgent at hand - a hysterical baby.
After all that hysterical crying, she drank in all abt 5mins before falling asleep again. Up for the 5th time that night, severely tired and bruised from the suckling, i lost patience. I know i shouldn't, but i got angry w her. I didn't scold her or do anything physical, but i was angry w her. I just couldn't wait to get it over and done w. I didn't enjoy her company and i wished that night didnt happen!
When i woke up the next morning. I felt sucky. I kept going back to that emotion. I kept questioning, Why did i get that upset with my own child? Then i realized, it was bcos i had expectations. I expected things to happen a certain way. Then i got disappointed when it didnt go according to my plan. Through this, Ive learnt a lesson. I need to soldier on with no expectations; It's a journey, it's an adventure. I should stay excited, stay curious and just go with the flow. Some days/nights are just tougher, then just survive and glad that we will always make it out alive.
We can do this, Mothers!
#throwback #sheilalovesherlife #motherhood #breastfeed #babywoolala #ssfoodforthoughts #SSmotherhoodjourney #11daysold
