Tips to deal with TOXIC RELATIONSHIP 🤸♂️
It will not be easy at the beginning because the first step is to admit the truth to yourself that this relationship does not work for you. How to tell? Listen to your gut, you can feel it whether you are in an abusive relationship. The signals are always there when you have to compromise your principles and values to be with that person.
Secondly, we ignore the bad behaviors of our lover for so long as it's hard to bring it up and talk about it. I know it as I used to be like that. When I tracked down the root cause of my painful relationships in the past, I saw the pattern when I closed my eyes whenever my boyfriend behaved in an unacceptable way and I told myself that I should understand for him as a nice girlfriend. But it was not, and actually, Tibetan Buddhism has a name for it - Compassionate Idiot. “Idiot compassion is the highly conceptualized idea that you want to do good to somebody. At this point, good is purely related to pleasure. Idiot compassion also stems from not have enough courage to say no.” It makes sense, right? Just because we cannot tell the truth that we cover it up under the name of compassion. The truth is that we just do not want to take the risk of losing that person if we speak out the uncomfortable matter.
Finally, the hard work will come back to you as you have to sit down with yourself and see where your boundary is. What is OK and what is NOT OK for you, let's be very clear with yourself first and then with others. To be able to say no when someone does something not ok to you. Write these things out, communicate them, stick to your boundary like the animals protect their place in nature.
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