My sister, Michelle-Ann Iking's 3% chance of conceiving naturally was a success! Here's her story:
(My apologies as I've been overwhelmed with personal matters. I've only managed to get to my desk. So finally got around posting this).
This is the story behind my sister's pregnancy struggle and how she shared her journey over her Facebook page.
Because some may have not caught her LIVE session chat with me (https://www.facebook.com/daphneiking/videos/687743128744960/) , or read her lengthy post (as it's a private page);
she's allowed me to copy and paste it over my wall, in case you need to know more about her thought process on how AND why she focused on the 3% success probability. Read on.
-------------------------------------------
Posted 10th May 2020.
FB Credit: Michelle-Ann Iking
A week ago today I celebrated becoming a mother to our second, long awaited child.
Please forgive this mother's LONG (self-indulgent) post, journalling what this significant milestone has meant for her personally, for her own fallible memory's sake as well as maybe to share one day with her son.
If all you were wondering was whether I had delivered and if mum and bub are OK, please be assured the whole KkLM family are thriving tremendously, and continue scrolling right along your Newsfeed 😁.
OUR 3% MIRACLE
All babies are miracles... and none more so than our precious Kiaen Aaryan (pronounced KEY-n AR-yen), whose name derives from Sanskrit origins meaning:
Grace of God
Spiritual
Kind
Benevolent
...words espousing the gratitude Kishore and I feel for Kiaen's arrival as our "3% miracle".
He was conceived, naturally, after 3 years of Kishore and I hoping, praying and 'endeavoring'... and only couples for whom the objective switches from pure recreation to (elusive) procreation will understand how this is less fun than it sounds ...
3 years during which time we had consensus from 3 different doctors that we, particularly I (with my advancing age etc etc) had only a 3% chance of natural conception and that our best hope for a sibling for our firstborn, Lara Anoushka, was via IVF.
Lara herself was an 'intervention baby', being one of the 20% of babies successfully conceived through the less intrusive IUI process, after a year and a half of trying naturally and already being told then my age was a debilitating factor.
We had tried another round of IUI for her sibling in 2017 when Lara was a year old. And that time we fell into the ranks of the 80% of would-be parents for whom it would be an exercise in futility... who would go home, comfort each other as best they could, while individually masking their own personal disappointment... hoping for the best, 'the next time around'...
So the improbability ratio of 97% against natural conception of our second baby, as concurred by the combined opinion of 3 medical professionals, was a very real, very daunting figure for us to have to mentally deal with.
Deep, DEEP, down in my heart however, though I had many a day of doubt... I kept a core kernel of faith that somehow, I would again experience the privilege of pregnancy, and again, have a chance at childbirth.
And so, the optimist in me would tell myself, "Well, there have to be people who fall in the 3% bucket... why shouldn't WE be part of the 3%?"
Those who know me well, understand my belief in the Law of Attraction, the philosophy of focusing your mind only on what you want to attract, not on what you don't want, and so even as Kishore and I prepared to go into significant personal debt to attempt IVF in the 2nd half of 2019, I marshalled a last ditch effort to hone in on that 3% chance of natural conception... through research coming across fertility supplements that I ordered from the US and sent to a friend in Singapore to redirect to me because the supplier would not deliver to Malaysia.
I made us as a couple take the supplements in the 3 month 'priming period' in the lead up to the IVF procedure - preconditioning our bodies for optimum results, if you will.
At the same time, I had invested in a sophisticated fertility monitor, with probes and digital sensors for daily tracking of saliva and other unmentionable fluid samples, designed to pinpoint with chemical accuracy my state of fertility on any given day.
(UPDATE: For those interested - I obtained the supplements and Ovacue Fertility Monitor from https://www.fairhavenhealth.com/. Though I had my supplies delivered to a friend in Singapore, and redirected to me here since the US site does not deliver to Malaysia, there are local distributors for these products, you will just have to research the trustworthiness of the vendors yourself...)
I had set an intention - in the 3 months of pre-IVF priming, I would consume what seemed like a pharmacy's worth of supplements, and track fertility religiously... in hopes that somehow, within the 3 month priming period, we would conceive naturally and potentially save ourselves a down payment on a new property... and this was just a projection on financial costs of IVF, not even considering the physical, emotional and mental toll it involves, with no guarantee of a baby at the end of it all...
It was a continuation of an intention embedded even with my first pregnancy, where all the big ticket baby items were consciously purchased for use by a future sibling, in gender neutral colours, in hopes that sibling would be a brother "for a balanced pair", though of course any healthy child would be a welcome blessing.
It was a very conscious determination to always skew my thoughts in service of what the end objective was. For example, when 3+year old Lara would innocently express impatience at not yet having a sibling, at one point suggesting that since we were "taking too long to give her a baby brother/sister", perhaps we should just "go buy a baby from a shop", instead of getting defensive or berating the baby that she herself was, we enlisted Lara's help to pray for her sibling... so in any place of worship, or sacred ground of any kind that we passed thereon, Lara would stop, close her eyes, bow her small head and place her tiny hands together in prayer, reciting earnestly, "Please God, please give me a baby brother or baby sister."
After months and months of watching Lara do this, in the constancy of her childlike chant, Kishore started feeling the pressure of possibly disappointing Lara if her prayer was not answered. Whereas for me, Lara's recitation of her simple wish became like a strengthening mantra, our collective intention imbued with greater power with each repetition, and the goal of a sibling kept very much in the forefront of our minds (hence our calling Lara our 'project manager' in this endeavour).
And somehow in the 2nd month of that 3 month period, a positive + sign appeared on one of the home pregnancy tests I had grown accustomed to taking - my version of the lottery tickets others keep buying in hopes of hitting the jackpot, with all the cyclical anticipation and more often than not, disappointment, that entails...
This time however I was not disappointed.
With God's Grace, (hence 'Kiaen', a variation of 'Kiaan' which means 'Grace of God'), my focus on our joining the ranks of the 3% had materialised.
It seems poetic then, that Kiaen chose to make his appearance on the 3rd May, ironically the same date that his paternal great-grandfather departed this world for the next... such that in the combined words of Kishore and his father Kai Vello Suppiah,
"The 1st generation Suppiah left on 3rd May and the 4th generation Suppiah arrived on 3rd May after 41yrs...
One leaves, another comes, the legacy lives on..."
***
KIAEN AARYAN SUPPIAH'S BIRTH STORY
On Sunday 3rd May, I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant.
The baby was, in my mind, very UN-fashionably late past his due date of 29th April, so as much as I had willed and 'manifested' the privilege of pregnancy, to say I was keen to be done with it all was an understatement.
In the weeks leading to up to my full term, I had experienced increasingly intense Braxton-Hicks 'practice contractions' - annoying for me for the discomfort involved, stressful for Kishore who was on tenterhooks with the false alarms, on constant alert for when we would actually need to leave home for the hospital.
Having become a Hypnobirthing student and advocate from my first pregnancy with Lara, and thus being equipped with
(1) a lack of fear about childbirth in general and
(2) a basic understanding of how all the sensations I would experience fit into the big picture of my body bringing our baby closer to us,
I was less stressed - content to wait for the baby to be "fully cooked" and come out whenever he was ready... though I wouldn't have minded at all if the cooking time ended sooner, rather than later.
With Lara, I had been somewhat 'forced' into an induced labour, even though she was not yet due, and that had resulted in a 5 DAY LABOUR, a Birth Story for another post, so I was not inclined to chemically induce labour, even though I was assured that for second time mothers, it would be 'much faster and easier'...
That morning, I had a hunch *maybe* that day was the day, because in contrast to previous weeks' sensations of tightening, pressure and even spasms that were concentrated in the front of my abdomen and occasionally shot through my sides and legs, I felt period - like cramping in my lower back which I had not felt before throughout the pregnancy.
It was about 8am in the morning then, and my 'surges' were still relatively mild ('surges' being Hypnobirthing - speak for 'contractions', designed to frame them with the more positive connotations needed to counteract common language in which childbirth is presented as something that is unequivocally painful and traumatic, instead of the miraculous, powerful and natural phenomenon it actually is).
I recall (masochistically?) entertaining the thought of opting NOT to have an epidural JUST TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE...
I figured this would be the last time I would be pregnant and so it would be my 'last chance' to experience 'drug free labour' which, apart from the health benefits for baby and mother, might be *interesting* in a way that people who are curious about what getting a tattoo and skydiving and bungee jumping are like, might find these *interesting*...even knowing there will be pain and risk involved...
Since I have tried tattoos and skydiving (unfortunately not being able to squeeze in bungee-jumping while my life was purely my own to risk at no dependents' possible detriment) a similar curiousity about a no-epidural labour was on my mind...
In the absence of other signs of the onset of labour (like 'bloody show' or my waters breaking), I wanted to wait until the surges were coming every few minutes before we actually left the house for the hospital, not wanting to be one of those couples who rushed in too early and had interminable waits for the next stage in unfamiliar, clinical surroundings and/or were made to go home in an anti-climatic manner.
I was even calm enough through my surges to have the presence of mind to wash and blowdry my hair, knowing if I did deliver soon I would not be allowed this luxury for a while.
Around 9am I asked Kishore to prep for Lara and himself to be dressed and breakfasted so we could head to hospital soon, while I sent messages to family members on both sides informing them 'today might be the day.'
My mother, who had briefly served as a midwife before going back into general nursing and then becoming a nursing tutor, prophetically stated that if what I was experiencing was true labour, "the baby would be out by noon".
The pace in which my surges grew closer together was surprisingly quicker than I expected; and while I asked Lara to "Hurry up with breakfast" with only a tad more urgency than we normally tell her to do, little Missy being prone to dilly-dallying at meals, I probably freaked Kishore out when about 930am onwards, I had to instinctively get on my hands and knees a couple of times, eyes closed, trying to practice the Hypnobirthing breathing techniques I had revised to help along the process of my body birthing our child into the world.
I recall him saying a bit frantically as I knelt at our front door, doubled over as he waited for Lara to complete something or other, "Lara hurry up! Can't you see Mama is in so much pain and you are taking your own sweet time??!!"
SIDETRACK: Just the night before, Lara and I had watched a TV show in which a woman gave birth with the usual histrionics accompanying pop culture depictions of labour.
Lara watched the scene, transfixed.
I told her, simply and matter-of-factly, "That's what Mama has to do to get baby brother out Lara, and that's what I had to do for you also."
In most of interactions with my daughter, I have sought to equip her to face life's situations with calmness, truthful common sense, and ideally a minimum of drama.
Those who know the dramatic diva that Lara can be will know that this is a work-in-progress, but her response to me that night showed me some of my 'teachings' were sinking in:
She looked at me unfazed, "But Mama," she said. "You won't cry and scream like that lady, right? You will be BRAVE and stay calm, right?"
#nopressure.
So as we prepped to leave for the hospital I did indeed attempt to be that role model of calm for her, asking her only for her help in keeping very quiet,
"Because Mama needs to focus on bringing baby brother out and she needs quiet to concentrate...".
As we left the house at 10.11am, I texted Kishore's sister Geetha to please prep to pick up Lara from the hospital, and was grateful Kishore had the foresight to ask our gynae to prepare a letter for Geetha to show any police roadblocks between my in-laws' home in Subang Jaya and the hospital in Bangsar, this all happening under the Movement Control Order (MCO).
To Lara's credit, in the journey over to the hospital, she - probably sensing the gravity of the situation, sat very quietly in her seat at the back, and the silence was punctuated only by my occasional deep intakes of breath and some variation of my Ohmmm-like moans when the sensations were at their height.
By the time we got to Pantai Hospital at around 10.30am, my surges were strong enough I requested a wheelchair to assist me in getting to the labour ward, as I did not trust my own legs to support me... and Kishore would have to wait until Geetha had arrived to take Lara back to my in-laws' house before he himself could go up.
I slumped in the wheelchair and was wheeled up to the labour room with my eyes closed the whole time, trying to handle my surges.
I didn't even look up to see the attendant who pushed me... but did make the effort to thank him sincerely when he handed me over, with what seemed like a palpable sense of relief on his part, to the labour ward nurses.
The nurse attending me at Pantai was calm, steady and efficient. I answered some questions and changed into my labour gown while waiting for Kishore to come up, all the while managing the increasingly intense surges with my rusty Hypnobirthing breathing techniques.
By the time Kishore joined me at around 11am (I know these timings based on the timestamps of the 'WhatsApp live feed' of messages Kishore sent to his family), I was asking the nurse on duty, "How soon can I get an epidural??" thinking what crazy woman thought she could do this without drugs???!!!
The nurse checked my cervix dilation, I saw her bloodied glove indicating my mucous plug had dislodged, and she told me, "Well you are already at 7cm (which, for the uninitiated, is 70% of the way to the 10cm dilation needed for birthing), you are really doing well, if you made it this far without any drugs, if can you try and manage without it... I suspect within 2 hours or less you will deliver your baby and since it will take about that time for the anaesthesiologist to be called, epidural to be administered and kick in... it might all be for nothing... but of course the decision is completely up to you... "
So there I was, super torn, should I risk the sensations becoming worse... or risk the epidural becoming a waste?? And of course I was trying to decide this as my labour surges were coming at me stronger and stronger...
I was in such a dilemma...because as a 'recovering approval junkie' there was also a silly element of approval-seeking involved, ("The nurse thinks I can do this without drugs... maybe I CAN do this without drugs... Yay me!") mixed with that element of curiosity I mentioned earlier ("What if I actually CAN do this without drugs... plenty of other women have done it all over the world since time immemorial.. no big deal, how bad can it be...??") so then I thought I would use the financial aspect to be the 'tiebreaker' in my decision making...
I asked the nurse how much an epidural would cost and when she replied "Around MYR1.5k", I still remember Kishore's incredulous face as I asked the question, i.e."Seriously babe, you are gonna think about money right now? If you need the epidural TAKE IT, don't worry about the money!!!"... and while we are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, thankfully RM1.5k is not a quantum that made me swing towards a decision to "better save the money"...
So in the end, I guess my curiosity won out, and I turned down the epidural "just to see what it would be like and if I had it in me" (in addition of course to avoiding the side effects of any drugs introduced into my and the baby's body).
My labour occuring in the time of coronavirus, it was protocol for me to have a COVID19 test done, so the medical staff could apply the necessary precautions. I had heard from a friend Sharon Ruba that the test procedure was uncomfortable, so when the nurse came with the test kit as I was starting another surge, I asked, "Please can I just finish this surge before I do the test?" as I really didn't think I could multitask tackling multiple uncomfortable sensations in one go.
The COVID19 test involved what felt like a looong, skinny cotton bud being inserted into one nostril... I definitely felt more than a tickle as it went in and up, being told to take deep breaths by the nurse. Then she asked me to "Try to swallow" and I felt it go into my nasal cavities where I didn't think anything could go any further, but was proven wrong when she asked me to swallow again and the swab was probed even deeper. Then she warned me there would be some slight discomfort as she prepared to collect a sample... but at that point all I could think about was:
(i) I really don't have much of a choice
(ii) please let this be over before my next surge kicks in
(iii) if all the people breaking the MCO rules knew what it feels like to do this test maybe they won't put themselves at risk of the need to perform one...
In full disclosure as I was transferred into the actual delivery room at some point after 11am, another nurse offered me 'laughing gas' to ostensibly take some of the edge off... I took the self-operated breathing nozzle passed to me but don't recall it making any difference to my sensations..so didn't use it much as it seemed pretty pointless.
I recall some measure of relief when I heard my gynae Dr. Paul entering the room, greeting Kishore and me, and telling us it was going well and it wouldn't be long now and he would see us again shortly.
From my previous labour with Lara I knew the midwives pretty much take you 90% of the way through the labour and when the Dr is called in you are really at the home stretch, so was very relieved to hear his voice though knowing he would leave and come back later meant it wasn't quite over yet.
I do remember realising when I had crossed the Thinning and Opening Phase of labour to the Birthing Phase, by the change in sensations... it is still amazing to me that as the Hypnobirthing book mentioned, having this knowledge I was instinctively able to switch breathing techniques for the next stage of labour .
Was my opting against epidural the right choice for me?
Overall? Yes.
Don't get me wrong.
I *almost* regretted the decision several times during active labour... especially when I felt my body being taken over by an overwhelming compulsion to push that did not seem conscious and was accompanied by involuntary gutteral moans where I literally just thought to myself, "I surrender, God do with me what you will..." (super dramatic I know but VERY real at the time...).
I think I experienced 3-4 such natural explusive reflexes (?), rhythmically pushing the baby down the birth path, one of which was accompanied by what felt like a swoosh of water coming out of a hose with a diameter the size of a golf ball... this was when I realised my water had finally broken...
The nurses kept instructing me to do different things, to keep breathing, to move to my side, then to move to the middle, to raise my feet... and when I didn't comply, Kishore (who was with me throughout both my labours) tried to help them by repeating the instructions prefaced with "Sayang..." but I basically ignored all the intructions because I felt I had no capacity to direct any part of my body to do anything and someone else would have to physically manoeuvre that body part themselves.
When I heard Dr. Paul's voice again and the flurry of commotion surrounding his presence, I knew the time was close... and when I heard the nurse say to Kishore, "Sir, these are your gloves, for when you cut the baby's cord", it was music to my ears...
I'm very, VERY grateful Kiaen slid out after maybe the 4th of those involuntary pushes... the wave of RELIEF when he came out so quickly... it still boggles my mind that my mother was essentially right and as his birth time was 12.02pm, it was *only* about 1.5 hours between our arrival at the hospital and his arrival into the world.
Kiaen was placed on my chest for skin to skin bonding and remained there for a considerable time.
For our short stay in the hospital he would be with us in my maternity ward number C327... another trivially serendipitous sign for me because he was born on the 3rd (May) and our wedding anniversary is 27th (July).
I was discharged the following day 4th May at about 5.30pm, after I got an all clear on COVID19 and a paediatric surgeon did a small procedure on Kiaen to address a tongue-tie that would affect his breastfeeding latch... making the entire duration of our stay about 31 hours.
I have taken the time and effort to record all this down so that whenever life's challenges threaten to get me down I can remind myself, "Ignore the 97% failure probability, focus on the 3% success probability".
Also that the human condition is miraculous and it is such a privilege to experience it.
To our son Kiaen Aaryan, thank you for coming into our lives and choosing us as your parents.
Even though Papa and I are both zombies trying to settle into a night time feeding routine with you, I look forward to spending not only all future Mother's Days, but every day, with you and your Akka...
And last but not least, to my husband Kishore...without whom none of this would be possible - we did it sayang, I love you ❤️
Photo credit: Stayhome session with Samantha Yong Photography (http://samanthayong.com/)
同時也有10000部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過2,910的網紅コバにゃんチャンネル,也在其Youtube影片中提到,...
「basic element of a story」的推薦目錄:
- 關於basic element of a story 在 Daphne Iking Facebook 的最佳貼文
- 關於basic element of a story 在 Rykarl Gaming Facebook 的最讚貼文
- 關於basic element of a story 在 WinnieHO 何芸妮 Facebook 的精選貼文
- 關於basic element of a story 在 コバにゃんチャンネル Youtube 的精選貼文
- 關於basic element of a story 在 大象中醫 Youtube 的精選貼文
- 關於basic element of a story 在 大象中醫 Youtube 的精選貼文
- 關於basic element of a story 在 The elements of a story | Reading | Khan Academy - YouTube 的評價
- 關於basic element of a story 在 8 Elements of a Story Explained: Setting, Character, Plot ... 的評價
basic element of a story 在 Rykarl Gaming Facebook 的最讚貼文
EDITOR
EditorTranslated
Masa RMO ni aku tengok balik dokumentar favourite, ada mamat ni tengah cakap pasal editing, dia kata great editing skills akan protect seseorang pengarah dari bunuh diri. Mamat tu nama dia Sean Penn.
“The essence of cinema is editing” tu kata Coppola pula.
Dulu aku terjebak dengan film editing sebab aku terjumpa fasal Sergei Eisenstein, salah seorang pengarah terawal dunia yang menitikberatkan skills editing untuk menyampaikan maksud dan menyuntik emosi kepada penonton. Eisenstein antara geng-geng Soviet filmmakers yang memperkenalkan idealogi formalism ke dunia sinema.
Itu benda paling basic tentang film editing. Kemudian, seorang lelaki telah mengembangkan Soviet technique ni dan terus jadi salah seorang pengarah paling berpengaruh di sekian alam, dia adalah Alfred Hitchcock seorang genius yang berjaya crafting psychology ke dalam seni filem untuk mewujudkan rasa suspense.
Dunia semakin menjadi complex. Teknik penyuntingan juga semakin evolve. Lalu muncul editor era modern cinema sekarang ni. Aku letak sikit list film editor yang masih aktif kat sini untuk siapa-siapa yang minat research fasal seni menyunting ;
1. Thelma Schoonmark, ni nenek orang dah ni bro! Umur 80 tahun, tapi steady je dia edit The Irishman. Dia start jadi editor untuk Martin Scorsese masa dia belajar kat universiti lagi. Lebih 50 tahun punya collaboration.
2. Michael Kahn, seorang atok berumur 84 tahun yang masih lagi aktif mengedit sampai ke hari ni. Dia ni penyunting untuk Steven Spielberg.
3. Walter Murch, seorang figure paling penting untuk community editors & sound designers sekarang. Dia ni berjaya connects the dot between science & art into his crafts. Aku rekemenkan untuk korang baca buku dia, In the Blink of an Eye. Sebab ni buku yang terpenting untuk seorang editor zaman moden.
Kenapa aku guna tiga editor ni sebagai subject yang boleh dijadikan rujukan?. Sebab ketiga-tiga editor ni ada kekuatan masing-masing untuk kau faham kerja sebagai penyunting.
Thelma Schoonmark ni mementingkan tentang leadership in the cutting room. Macam mana dia control powerhouse director macam Scorsese untuk dengar cakap dia tu sangat amazing. Thelma bersifat keibuan sikit, tiap hari dia akan ke film set untuk lepak dengan conty girl. Dari situ dia akan dapat information apa yang Scorsese tengah buat kat set tanpa kacau pengarah tu. Dan benda penting Thelma ajar, seorang editor kena banyak mendengar, cuba faham betul-betul apa yang director explain sebelum kau argue. Cara dia mendengar seorang budak tengah bercerita, sebab seorang director tu memang bersifat expressive macam budak kecik, jadi kena bagi extra attention kat dia. SEORANG EDITOR PERLU MENDENGAR.
Michael Kahn pula dia menekankan tentang feel bila susun shots Tak macam Thelma Schoonmark, Kahn tak turun ke set. Ini supaya dia boleh bagi pure new perspective to the story. Editing adalah puzzle toys yang Kahn main dari dia muda sampai la tua. Edit film main dengan every frame. Raw footage - sekadar ambil contoh - durasi 10 saat, kalau pengarah shoot in 24fps, jadi total frame untuk shot tu adalah 240 frames. Then another raw footage - just put any number - 120 frames. So total adalah 360 frames tu adalah playground untuk kau adjust here and there. Then, tolak sana, tambah sini follow apa kau rasa. Other advice, if you never make alterations to your cut, kau confirm tak akan dapat the best cut. Nasihat dia paling penting ialah don’t edit from knowledge, edit from feeling. SEORANG EDITOR PERLU ADA FEEL.
Walter Murch pula berjaya create workflow yang sangat effective untuk editing. Dia cipta the rule of 6 (google sendiri) untuk kau buat analyzing dapat cut best ke tak. Dia juga suka edit tanpa audio even ada dialog sekali pun, so dia read lip apa actor tu cakap. Cara ni kau akan dapat purest cut untuk membantu kau judge yang cut yang kau buat tu tanpa ada extra element. Maksudnya, bila cut kau tu tak ada apa-apa perencah lagi dah best, so bila kau tambah benda lain konfirm create attractive cut yang ranum ditengok. Tapi jangan terlebih letak macam-macam. Masakan pun jahanam kalau letak benda pelik-pelik. Murch kata yang edit filem sekarang ni semua orang boleh buat, sebab dia sangat simple akan tetapi untuk menjadikan editing tu ke higher level, it requires the same dedication and persistence that any art form does. SEORANG EDITOR PERLU ADA ANALYTICAL MIND.
Okay borak fasal technique ni boring sikit la, sebab bukan semua orang kisah tentang art of editing pun.
Aku rephase balik kata Stanley Kubrick, “I love editing. I think I like it more than any other phase of film making. If I wanted to be frivolous, I might say that everything that precedes editing is merely a way of producing film to edit.” Sebab tu la ramai yang setuju hakikat bahawasanya films are made in the cutting room.
Aku bukan kata proses lain tu tak penting. Tapi editing proses terakhir sebelum filem dijadikan tontonan kepada umum. Kalau skrip kau salah, kau boleh adjust masa kat set. Kau shoot salah, then kau boleh adjust kat edit. Tapi bila edit kau salah? Kau nak adjust kat pawagam ke apa? Tapi jangan la jadi pembaris sangat untuk interpret yang kau boleh ambik ringgan bahagian yang lain atau suka main petik the famous word fix in post!.
Tanam ni dalam kepala otak semua ya, kalau bahagian scripting dah problem lepas tu shooting problem jugak, maka itulah neraka paling jahanam untuk editor. Segala beban tu dah berlonggok kat editor. Maka muntah hijaulah mereka-mereka ini.
Hatta muntah pelangi sekali pun, adalah menjadi tanggungjawab editor untuk pastikan filem tu dalam keadaan yang paling baik. Maka dengan itu, producer pun kena la bagi something sikit. Kalau tak dapat adjust budget, adjust lah timeline yang lebih panjang. Kalau best dapat bagi dua-dua sekali gus. Happy editor can create good movie kan?
So editing ni adalah tempat yang menentukan movie itu made or broken. Banyak filem diselamatkan dan sebenarnya lebih banyak dijahanamkan secara tak sengaja dalam editing room.
Jadi tahukah anda mengenai peristiwa tentang satu filem yang berjudul Annie Hall atau judul asalnya Anehonia (tak best langsung nama tajuk ni). Filem ni hampir jadi mimpi ngeri buat Woody Allen. Nasib Allen selamat sebab ada Ralph Rosenblum kat sebelah dia, a skillful experience film editor yang dah kerja dengan sorang lagi director power, Sydney Lumet.
Original duration filem Anehonia ni 150 minit, plot asal pasal murder mystery. Tapi producer/co-writer, Marshall Brickman naik angin bila preview final offline edit. Dia guna kad producer untuk suruh Rosenblum buang semua crime scene then go with different direction, sampailah final output jadi 93 minit dengan genre yang lain terus, rom-com!.
Korang tahu kan apa jadi next?
Woody Allen menang Academy Awards for directing, Brickman menang best original screenplay, dan filem tu sendiri menang best film. Tok Woody Allen menang untuk semua major awards untuk tahun tu. Hanya dengan kuasa Tuhan sahaja yang telah menyelamatkan filem ni sampailah dia jadi cult movie yang bagi huge influence pada ramai filmmaker sampai ke hari ni.
Tapi ada lagi benda kelakar dorang buat.
15 tahun selepas kejayaan besar Annie Hall, Allen dengan Brickman buat balik filem yang dorang buang half dulu. Depa adjust-adjust idea dalam tong sampah tu jadi filem Manhattan Murder Mystery, another masterpiece yang bergolek-golek datang kaki dorang.
Selain tu, sebuah filem yang menjadi landmark counterculture dan juga antara karya terhebat sepanjang sejarah peradaban dunia. Filem tu berjudul Easy Rider, ia juga dibikin dalam cutting room. Filem tu mengambil masa setahun untuk diedit, dengan footage yang nak dipilih sebanyak 80 jam dan dijadikan sebuah cerita berdurasi 95 minit.
Another story berlaku pada Februari 1977, George Lucas ajak kawan-kawan baik dia untuk tengok rough cut filem terbaru dia. Antara diajak ialah Spielberg dan De Palma yang masing-masing excited dengan air tangan Lucas lepas kejayaan filem American Graffiti. Then dorang pun layan lah rough cut tu. Lepas habis preview agak krik-krik, tapi dalam ramai kawan-kawan tu De Palma ni asshole sikit, dia kutuk Lucas sebab bikin filem sampah. Semua orang dalam bilik preview tu mengumpat pasal Lucas, kecuali Spielberg yang dia kata “wei aku suka je filem hang ni, tapi nampaknya aku sekor je la yang suka ni.” Begitulah Spielberg sopan santun orangnya. Lucas tahu je Spielberg tengah ambik hati dia yang tengah kecewa tu. Next, dia pun terus buang editor yang buat dia kena kutuk tu. Tapi ni kan George Lucas bro, so dia tak ada problem sangat nak settlekan issue editing ni, sebab dia kenal ramai editor yang power. Dan lagi satu, Lucas ada trump card kat poket, bini dia sendiri pun awards winning editor, Maria Lucas - tapi tengah berehat sebab baru keguguran. Lalu dengan penuh rasa dendam kat kawan-kawan yang tengah ketawakan dia, Lucas bawa masuk antara editor terbaik era new hollywood, Paul Hirsch, Richard Chew dan Maria Lucas sendiri yang kena kerja. Akhirnya lahirlah filem yang menjadi kegilaan satu dunia, iaitu Star Wars.
Jadi ingat, classic case Annie Hall, Easy Rider dan Star Wars ni. Director hebat-hebat semua tu ya.
So dengan kata mudahnya, hal-hal macam ni kalau nak jadi, director power macam mana pun tetap akan berlaku juga. Dalam production film tak semua yang kau rancang tu berjalan lancar, confirm ada hiccup here and there. Kebanyakkan damage ni kau tak nampak lagi masa shooting ya sahabat.
Then hakikat yang paling kejam ialah bila kau dah habis shoot, pastu baru start masuk editing room, now tangible damages can be measured accurately. Di sini ramai filmmaker yang terduduk, termasuk lah aku sendiri yang pernah beberapa kali kena. Saat ni lah penyesalan tu datang berlumba-lumba!
Akhirnya, kita semua cuba set up the best plan dan masa execution pun dah terbaik kita buati. Tapi semuanya dah bergantung pada Tuhan. Kalau Dia setuju, maka tercipta lah filem tu ikut macam mana yang Dia kata okay.
Kalau Tuhan sayang kau lebih sikit dari orang lain, Dia bagi secubis cabaran untuk kau harung. Biar reflect pada diri sendiri sebab lepas ni kau jadi lebih kuat untuk masuk next level pulak.
Jadi itulah kasih sayang Tuhan bagi kat Nam Ron dan Bront masa nak siapkan One Two Jaga.
Filem yang menang kesemua anugerah dalam Malaysia dan ditayangkan dipelbagai festival filem luar negara ni mengambil masa dekat dua tahun di post production untuk disiapkan. Aku jadi saksi tengok darah, peluh dan air mata yang tertumpah. Masa tu, hari-hari muka Nam Ron jadi macam pak cik umur 70 tahun dah, Bront pulak putih habis misai rambut dia. Tapi tu la filmmakers ni, hati dia kering, redah je sampai habis walau pedih mana pun.
Jadi bila time macam sekarang ni, time aku baring-baring tak buat apa-apa. Baru la paham apa yang Tuhan suruh aku ponder sikit pasal benda yang jadi depan mata hari tu.
Kalau aku rajin, aku cerita pulak cara kami solvekan problem ni.
Salam!
basic element of a story 在 WinnieHO 何芸妮 Facebook 的精選貼文
Experts are made, not born!
They don’t come from no where.
精英是被训练出来的,他们不会凭空而生。
以下是朋友在日本观赏一个很烂的乐队后,问日本朋友说,“他们那么烂,为什那么多人来看他们?”。日本人的回答,值得我们好好省思。
From the Japanese, “if we don’t support them (a local Japanese band) when they are lousy, how they can get better?”......
This gave me a new paradigm of thoughts! Let’s reflect!
What Pete Teo said in his latest article: In Search of A Bigger Canvas, with his permission, I decided to translate it. Hope you Enjoy it.
一位令人敬仰的艺人Pete Teo 写了一篇文字,我觉得颇有共鸣,是以尝试翻译之。这是我的尝试:
寻找大一点的画布
我是从来没有跟任何公司签过约的。我的演艺生涯基本就是独立艺人的身份行走。那并不容易,不过我觉得我算做得不错了。如果你有兴趣的话:这是我走过的路,你看看吧。
首先你需要了解的是:你可以走的路是被你所在的市场的大小所主宰,这个要素比你是否有才华更重要。在马来西亚这个小市场,你是逆流而上的。小的市场意味着你缺少机会。
缺少机会你就成长得很慢。作品的数量对艺术家来说很重要。如果你三年只能拍出一部电影,而你的中国同行一年可以拍一部,五年后你还是一个新人,而他或她已经是一个老手了。
唯一可以改变这个事实的,就是进入大的市场。你可以移居过去,或者在马来西亚做你的作品然后输出去。如果国语不是你作品的媒介语,输出外国更是明显的事实。不过呢,不管怎么做都是难啊。
基于个人的理由,我选择留在马来西亚。所以我尽力的将我的作品推出海外。我演艺生涯的前十年我都是在日本和韩国巡演。可以这样做,你特别需要运气。
不过呢,你越努力的做,你会越幸运。很多人认为才华是艺人的一切。其实,才华虽然重要不过却不足以让你成功。努力是很关键的呢。记得,你的同行们也是很有才华的哩。所以,努力是成败的关键。
既然出口我们的艺人是那么的重要,我不明白为什么我们的政府机构如此的漠视我们土生土长的才华。比如,FINAS并没有致力向海外推荐我们的艺人。希盟政府对这件事也没有任何远见和展望。
恰恰相反,所有的噪音都集中在拨款和施舍。当然资助年轻刚起步的电影人是很重要的,我却不同意官方拨款给已经成名了的电影人。我觉得不如将这些款项导入到税收优惠政策或者建立起出口管道。
当然可以取得资助是很好,不过你得接受的一个事实就是:作为艺术家你得为自己负责任。如果你尽在那里呻吟,你除了得到一个坏名声之外,什么也得不到。倒不如行动起来,因为空口不做什么都是假的。
这任务很困难,不过大家一起做就可能比较容易了。所以,请跟你的同行们互通信息互享资源,大家携手合作。相信我,一个人打拼你可能事倍功半;可是当大家一起来做你们的机会会翻倍。这不是在玩零和游戏。
除了音乐人的身份之外,我也属于那一代被称为马来西亚新浪潮导演的其中一员。有那么几年,我们在国际电影节上面辛苦的暂露头角。不过到了最后我们还是败下来了。原因虽然很复杂,简单来说可以归咎于我们的离散。我们得从中学习。
这个世代在国外寻找机会的艺人当中,数Bront Palarae 特别特出。他勇敢的在亚洲各个城市耕耘,他努力,有智慧,有行动。还有其他像他这样在行动耕耘的马来西亚艺术家,他们给了我们希望。
请谨记,马来西亚有很多的人才。有很多复杂的原因导致这些人才无法闪耀,不过更关键的是,他们没有信心和曝光的机会。在严厉竞争的世界里,你得有自信。
不管你是一个艺术家,还是对艺术有兴趣的人。你得了解,人们的认可培养信心。来自本土的认可可以筑起艺术家的自信,可是最快批评任何本土艺术家的人们就是我们自己人,而且往往是同行们。
我不是说不容许有善意及正面的批评,我们当然应该严谨的评论,这有别于不经大脑的恶意批评。这里的分别就是“意图”。让我告诉你一个故事:
有一次我受到我一位日本乐迷的邀请去看他镇上的一个乐队。这个乐队惨不忍听。我忍不住问这家伙为什么他会支持这么烂的乐队,他的回答令我反省。如果他们烂的时候没有人支持,那他们怎样变好?
你看,这就是我们和日本的差别。我们时常踩我们的艺术家来自我感觉良好。日本人也会批评自己的艺术家可是他们却带着正面的意图。这就是虽然日本的草根艺术圈子也像我们一样那么参差不齐,他们却有着国际水平的艺术圈而我们没有。
我有一次在东京和Tun Mahathir 讨论过这个问题,他当然是哈日的,不过我不觉得他了解国际水准的人才是需要本土的栽培的。或许他尝试过,然后灰心了。不管如何,我们还是得加油。
我说了这么多,主要还是:小市场当然有很多阻碍,不过才华和努力同样重要。智慧很重要不过你也得靠运气。同样关键的是,栽培艺术家需要整个社群的力量。
我们缺乏的就是这最后的关键。到处可见的是:我们因为觉得不重要,所以没有公共政策来培育年轻的艺术家。我们也不了解孕育世界级的艺术家需要的种种,我们以为世界级的艺术家是凭空诞生的。
最后,什么样的人民就有什么样的政府,同样的,什么样的人民就有什么样的艺术圈。就像任何的群体,它源自个体。所以,简而言之,你必备才华,努力,运气,是的,你也需要培育的。
祝你好运。
This is the Original:
IN SEARCH OF A BIGGER CANVAS
I have spent almost the entirety of my career as an unsigned indie artist. It hasn’t been a walk in the park but I guess I’ve done pretty good. This was what my road looked like and, if you are interested, how you might traverse it...
The first thing to understand is that you path is almost entirely determined by the size of your market, even more than how good you are. In a small market like Malaysia. you fight uphill all the time. Small market means lack of opportunity.
Crucially, lack of opportunity also means you grow slower. Velocity of output is vital to any artist. If you made 1 film every 3 years compared to a peer in China who makes 1 film per year, you’d still be a newbie after 5 years while s/he’d already be a veteran.
The only way to overcome this is to tap into bigger markets. You can do this by moving to work in a bigger market, or stay in Malaysia and export to foreign markets. This is especially so if you don’t primarily work in BM, the biggest sub-market in Msia. Either way, it is hard.
Due to personal circumstances, I chose to remain in Malaysia. This means maximising every opportunity to play / exhibit my work offshore. As a result, the first decade of my career were largely spent on the road in Japan and Korea. You need to be kinda lucky to accomplish this.
Yet, the harder you work, the luckier you get. Most people think talent in an artist is everything. It isn’t. Truth is, talent is necessary but insufficient for success. Hard work is crucial. Remember, most of your peers are talented too. Thus hard work is the difference maker.
Given the importance of export markets to our artists, I’ve been baffled by the lack of support from our public institutions. FINAS, for instance, has done little to facilitate exports in the past. The PH govt is likewise showing no vision or leadership in this matter.
Rather, all the chatter has so far been about grants and handouts. While important to help young filmmakers get started, I see little need to fund established filmmakers through grants. Much better to divert funds to tax incentives and the setting up of export channels.
Either way, good though it would be to get help from public policy - it is important to accept that you are fundamentally on your own. If all you do is sit and moan, then you ain’t gonna accomplish much other than a reputation for moaning. It is better to act. Talk is cheap.
The task is difficult, but it is easier if you hunt as a group. So remember to share resources and contacts. Help each other. Trust me, work alone and you will likely not get out at all. Hunt as a group and your chances multiply by many fold. This is not a zero sum game.
Other than being a musician, I also belong to a generation of filmmakers known as “Malaysian New Wave”. For a few years, we beat the odds in the international film festival circuit. Yet In the end we failed. The reason is complex but came down to our failure to continue to hunt as a group. We must learn from this.
Of the current generation of artists working to establish offshore opportunities, Bront Palarae stands out. He ploughs the field all over Asia and shows no fear. He works hard, act smart and walks the talk. There are others like him. They are the hope.
Please remember that, despite everything, Malaysia is a talented land. The reason most of our talents have often been wasted is complex - but it is underlined often by a lack of confidence and exposure. You need self-belief to be out there where competition is fierce.
Whether you are an artist, or just an interested layman, you need to understand that confidence comes from validation. And the most basic source of arts validation comes from local support. Yet the quickest to damn Malaysian artists are Malaysians themselves, often fellow artists.
I am not saying there is no room for objective critique - of course we must be critical - but there is a difference between thoughtless bitchiness and critique - and the difference is: intention. Let me tell you a true story to illustrate my point...
I was once invited by a Japanese fan to watch his neighbourhood band. The band sucked to high heavens. But when asked why he supported a band that he knew to be terrible, his reply was revealing:
“If we don’t support them when they are shit, how can they get good?”
See, his reply is the difference between Japan and Malaysia. We thrash our own often for selfish validation. They criticise their own too but with positive intention. That’s why, despite having grassroot scenes as uneven as ours, they have a world class arts scene and we don’t.
I once discussed this with Tun Mahathir in Tokyo. He is of course a big admirer of Japan. But I am not sure he understood the importance of local support in nurturing world class artists. Perhaps he tried but was disappointed. Either way we must try harder at it.
I have taken long to get here, but my point is: there are many elements required to overcome the handicap of small markets. Talent is important but so is hard work. Smartness is important but so is luck. Equally crucial is ability to nurture artists as a community...
It is this last element that we are most missing. The evidence is everywhere. From lack of public policies that nurture young artists (as if they are unimportant), to lack of understanding of how world class artists are formed (as though they exist in a vacuum).
Ultimately, much as we deserve the government we have, we also deserve the arts we have. And as with everything that involves the collective, it really begins with the individual. So, in a nutshell, you must be talented, hardworking, lucky, and yes - nurturing too.
Good luck.
basic element of a story 在 コバにゃんチャンネル Youtube 的精選貼文
basic element of a story 在 大象中醫 Youtube 的精選貼文
basic element of a story 在 大象中醫 Youtube 的精選貼文
basic element of a story 在 8 Elements of a Story Explained: Setting, Character, Plot ... 的推薦與評價
Feb 25, 2020 - The basic elements of a story are: Setting, Character, Plot, Conflict, & Theme. Advanced elements of a story are Point-of-view, Tone & Style. ... <看更多>
basic element of a story 在 The elements of a story | Reading | Khan Academy - YouTube 的推薦與評價
... <看更多>