#mamadiary #parenting #toddlerhood
Few days ago Joreen did quite a few mischievous things that leads hubby to place her at the calming corner. (she will scream & cry easily recently, "fournado?")
She continues screaming & crying.. (mama was in the room resting due to giddy spell)
But Joreen continues in this state for quite some time.. Hence mama came out to check them out. Instead of the usual questions, what happened, why cry? (was inspired by @transformingtoddlerhood to understand Joreen more & calm down myself 1st)
Mama went to just hug Joreen tightly, no questions ask. She is still crying loudly but slowly calming down. After she calm down, mama told Joreen, "mama understand Joreen was upset /maybe angry just now? Would you like to share with me the details?"
Joreen replied "yes I'm very sad, little bit angry. It is very very long to tell you (she meant there were so many things happened). Very very long, do you want to listen?
Mama said of course! Mama will listen all, you slowly say.
Joreen shared everything and end of it, she told mama what she did is naughty, she is sorry & she is not angry with daddy anymore. So she apologise sincerely, hug us & say I love you!
She even told mama that she can be better tomorrow! Awww...
Mama asked her "how about we start tonight?" Joreen said Yessss 🤣😍
Happy ending ❤️ no scolding.
Joreen indeed is having a hard time to calm down. She used to be a sensible & understanding sweet gal. I mean she still is but sometimes.... 🙈
A gentle hug & more patience do wonders! And must willing to listen to our kids too (reminder to self)
Thanks to the tips that I read from @transformingtoddlerhood
Lets all namaste 🙏☺️
(mummies can check them out if you need an inspiration /motivation ya❤️)
Check out the article from @theasianparent regarding our 4 years old at the comments below. It is so true!
#4y3m #joreentanjiyoon #positiveparenting #eternalmotherhood #sgmummy #sgkids #motherhood #unplugandplay #mcAW20 #septwenties
「how to calm down from crying」的推薦目錄:
how to calm down from crying 在 蘇浩 Anthony So Facebook 的最讚貼文
網上又有「藍能否變黃」的第N回討論。其實當然有成功例子啦。
被催淚彈殻射到爆缸仍記掛著翌日能否帶女友和未來外母去旅行。這是個可歌可泣的愛情故事。
Crowdfunding for the project《Wounds of Hong Kong 港傷》https://bit.ly/2WuNqw2
-----
*for English please scroll down
雄仔(化名) 護士 31歲
2019年11月8日深夜,雄仔與女朋友路過旺角惠豐中心,遇上市民與防暴警對峙。他倆看見警察有異動,正想離開現場,但警方已開始發射催淚彈。彈殻擦過雄仔的頭部,即時血流如注,留下3cm的縫針疤痕。
「講起就激氣(光火),在前線受傷我反而開心。」當時旺角街頭有防暴警察列陣,市民向他們叫罵,「都係『撚狗』(調侃警察)。」然而「撚狗」會令警察暴怒,繼而報復,「現在他們把催淚彈當子彈用啦。」雄仔褂彩,同為護士的女朋友嚇得哭了,但他仍然冷靜,心想:「仆街了(靠)!明天還能飛嗎?」
因為參與抗爭,加上工時長,雄仔自6月以來都沒有好好陪伴女朋友,「她也是黃絲,覺得不應該拿這些事來詐型(發難),藏在心裏,但你會感受到她的不滿。」計劃已久的小旅行算是補償,還要帶著未來外母同遊,「始終是女孩,需要陪伴、關心,要有拍拖活動。」他去醫院縫針後,翌日按計劃出發。
雄仔的女友和家人知道他有上街遊行,卻不知道他是「家長」,助養了9名只有10幾歲的「子女」。8月18日的大型遊行,他到達終點後轉入夏愨道,看看有何事發生,「有人呼召社工,有個小朋友在哭、嚷著要自殺,因為屋企是藍絲。我想,我應該可以幫忙。」雄仔就此成為「家長」。子女又介紹其他子女,漸漸膝下承歡。
除了提供情緒支援,雄仔也為子女提供零用錢,「『文具』 好貴,我常叫他們以安全為先,有事就棄裝,再買過。」「仔女都好生性。要把塞錢偷偷攝入gear(抗爭裝備),怕他們不肯要。」「文具」就是防毒面具和濾罐,每套大約1000港元,「我有工作,可以撐住,只是花了積蓄,對不起女友啦。」至今他已花了6、7萬元在子女身上,「她知道我花了1000元都肉赤到死(心疼得要死),怎敢跟她說?」
需要接濟的少年很多來自建制家庭,因為政見而被斷糧草、甚至斷六親。 若雄仔晚生十幾年,他很可能是其中之一,「我爸是紅底。自細他就跟我說票投民建聯(親北京政黨),不然就脫離父子關係。」2016年立法會新界東補選,他仍是投民建聯的周浩鼎,2014年雨傘運動當然沒有參與,「之前的抗爭關於政制,可能我未感受到對人生自由有重大威脅。實行雙普選需要時間,香港社會始終未成熟。」直到政府強推《逃犯條例》修訂,他才感到刀刃在脖子上,「明明是一國兩制, 可以引渡逃犯,就會造成破窗。事事都要跟大陸接軌,要引入計分制(社會信用評分制度)嗎?」怕中港區隔蕩然無存。
在2019年11月的區議會選舉,雄仔首次「倒戈」,「大氣候是分顏色(政治立場)投票。我也不相信泛民主派,不信有救世主,但我就是要建制派輸。雖然我仍然覺以地區事務而言,建制派做到的比反對派多。」因為官僚樂於賣人情予建制派。雄仔有個親戚曾購買私煙,遇著海關放蛇,因為數量頗多,有轉售的嫌疑,房屋署以從事非法勾當為理由,想收回他的公屋單位。後來由建制派區議員出面求情,才得以過關,「如果找泛民議員幫手,房署不會給他面子。」
雄仔與家人住在狹小的公屋單位,因為要收藏大量「文具」,近月已搬到朋友家中。他與女友關係穩定,卻未想過同居,「租金貴,如果可以搬出來,就可以結婚啦。」「我女友很依賴、很需要照顧。待這件事(抗爭)完結再談吧,不然應付不了。她去旅行連目的地都不知道,帶行李去機場就是了。我計劃好行程,她便跟著我走。」
----
Hung(alias) 31 years old Nurse
In the middle of the night of November 8th, 2019, Hung and his girlfriend passed by Wai Fung Plaza in Mongkok and stumbled upon a confrontation between citizens and the riot police. The police fired tear gas bombs when the two started to leave. Hung was hit by a bullet case on his head, leaving a three-centimeter long scar.
“I get so mad every time I talk about this incident. It would have been worthwhile if I was injured at the frontline in a protest,” said Hung. At the time, there were riot police on the streets of Mong Kok. The public was yelling and having arguments with them. That made the police angry, so they retaliated. “Nowadays, the riot police use tear gas bombs as bullets,” said Hung. Hung’s girlfriend, a nurse, was crying from fear when he was hit. However, Hung was calm, only worrying about if he would need to cancel their trip for the day after.
Because of his participation in protests and long working hours, Hung hadn’t spent much time with his girlfriend since June. “She is also a pro-democracy supporter so she understands and never complains, but I knew she was upset about me not spending enough time with her. The get-away trip we had planned was considered to be ‘compensation’ for her. We were also taking my future mother-in-law with us. As a girl, I understand she wants company, care, and time from her boyfriend,” said Hung. After getting stitches at the hospital for his wound, Hung went on the trip.
Hung’s girlfriend and his family know that he participates in protests, but they don’t know he is also a “parent” who helps “raise” 9 teenagers. On the protest on August 18th, he was at Harcourt Road after the end of the protest. He heard someone calling for a social worker. A kid was crying and saying he wanted to commit suicide because his parents are pro-establishment supporters. Hung thought he could do something to help. That’s how he became a “parent” and ended up helping more kids.
In addition to providing emotional support, Hung also helps them financially by giving them money. “ ‘Stationery’ is expensive. I always remind them that safety is the first priority. They should leave their gear behind if they need to run. They can always repurchase their gear. These are good kids, and they don’t always accept my offers, so I need to secretly hide money into their gear for them,” said Hung. The ‘stationery’ is actually protective gear like gas masks and filter canisters. Each set costs approximately HK$1,000. “I have a job, so I can afford them. I spent my savings, so it made me feel bad for my girlfriend, as I didn’t tell her exactly how much I had spent on the kids,” said Hung. Until now, Hung had already spent over HK$60,000 to HK$70,000.
Most of the kids Hung helps are from pro-establishment families. Having different political views, these kids don’t get support from their families and are left with no money and no place to stay. Hung thinks if he were born ten years later, he could have been one of these kids. “My father is an extreme Beijing-backed establishment supporter. He has told me to vote for Democratic Alliance for the Betterment (DAB), a pro-Beijing party since I was a kid. Otherwise, he would disown me,” said Hung. Up until the 2016 New Territories East by-election in the Legislative Council, he still voted for DAB’s Chow Ho-ding, Holden. Of course, he didn’t participate in the Umbrella Movement in 2014. He said the previous protests were about the political system, so he might not have felt a major threat to his freedom then. “It took time to implement universal suffrage, and Hong Kong wasn’t ready.” It wasn’t until the government forced the revision of the “Fugitive Offenders Ordinance” that he finally realized, “If the one country two systems could extradite the fugitives, this change would become a breaking point, with everything in line with the mainland China.”
In the November 2019 District Council election, it was Hung’s first time he didn’t vote for the DAB, “Voters voted based on their political stance. I don’t believe the pan-democrats but I don’t want the pro-establishment parties to win either. Although I still feel that in terms of local affairs, the pro-establishment parties had done more,” said Hung, since the bureaucrats are willing to give favors to the pro-establishment parties. For example, a relative of Hung was caught buying illegal cigarettes, he was suspected of reselling them. The Housing Department wanted to take back his public housing unit on the grounds of engaging in illegal activities. Later, it was the district councilor of the pro-establishment party that helped resolve the issue.
Hung and his family live in a tiny public housing unit, which doesn’t allow him to keep all the ‘stationery’ there, so he moved in with his friend. But he never thought about moving in with his girlfriend. “Rent is expensive. If we could afford to move out, we would get married. She is very dependent and needs to be taken care of. We will wait and talk about marriage later until the civil rights protests are over,” said Hung.
攝 photo:高仲明 Ko Chung Ming
文 text:蔡慧敏 Choi Wai Man
譯 translate:Joanna Ng
how to calm down from crying 在 Pakar diari hati Facebook 的最讚貼文
Anak tak pernah salah !
Malam semalam saya terpaksa tegur isteri supaya jaga mulut bila bercakap dengan anak.
2 hari yang lepas, selepas selesai solat isyak saya dengar rania dah menangis. Bila di tanya kenapa rania menangis.
...Continue ReadingChild is never wrong!
Last night I had to greet my wife to keep her mouth when talking to her child.
2 days ago, after finishing isyak prayers I heard rania is crying. When asked why rania cried.
My wife with her face face,
" I look at Rania she already knows how to say you shut up at jaja (mak ngah rania)"
I heard and noted. Look at Rania near grandpa and grandma, so I let. Later if he needs me he will come to complain.
Yesterday, exactly 10.30 pm aisy suddenly woke up from sleep. Oh my God, everyone is so messy when he wakes up in the middle of the night. Someone else is just about to landing, he wakes up.
In the messy the wife tried to put aisy that Rania was also in the room. Aisy can't see or listen to Rania's voice, comfirm he will wake up and ask to play.
Rania just came in and mentioned it,
" Yeah! Aisy is up "
Spontaneous wife said to Rania,
" shut up!"
Hah, this is what I want to say.
Rania this is the type of auditory. It means his ears are so sensetif!
Whatever he hears he will follow. Which 5-Year-old kid knows the difference between " bad word " and " good word ". all of them hit it.
If with a kid kid you better use a "hand sign" if you want to say it, ask to be quiet. Just put your fingers in your mouth. He will understand it for a long time.
Can't say anything, it's wrong that he will talk back to us. At this time we are not using the forehead, the word is already attached to his brain.
The more we get angry, the more the "bad word" comes out.
But actually the 4-6-Year-old potty talk (vulgar language) is normal. Because they are still in the process of experimentasi with language.
If a child knows how to say you're quiet, stupid or crazy, it's not rude, sir, but that's a lot of learning..
There are 3 things that we can do when facing a child who likes to talk so that this negative symptoms will not continue until adults.
1-don't yank it!
First of all can't be yank! The child has no intention actually. He didn't even understand what he was talking about. He just played it, but the child is still in the language language phase.
Instead of being upset then angry or flick the mouth of the good child hugs and kiss his forehead. Got a reward because patience and serotonin are increasing so happy children.
2-calm down
Take it easy. When we are able to calm down then we can control our mouth so that there will be no more "bad word".
And only in a calm condition our brain can think logically. If not, the brain will be emotional. All the vows of our ancestors are all out.
3-don't be nervous or surprised
And the last one has to do "cool" when in front of the child. Children say stupid we smile, children say crazy we smile. Then our child won't get mad quickly when people talk about him later.
Watch out! Once the child " detect " the potty talk affects us, the child will consider it as a " powerful word ". he will use it again and more powerful word for our law. It is not impossible that he will also use it to his friends later.
This house is like a lab for the kids to make a experiment. Whatever he sees and learn from outside the house he will test in the house.
Parents always become victims of children's experiment. That's why parents have to give good results so that the kids don't learn wrong.
Remember! The child is the shadow of the parents.Translated
how to calm down from crying 在 How To Calm A Crying Baby - Dr. Robert Hamilton ... - YouTube 的推薦與評價
Dr. Hamilton, a pediatrician in Santa Monica, CA and founder of Pacific Ocean Pediatrics, shows you how to calm a crying baby using "The ... ... <看更多>