THE TRAP OF COMPARISON
I remember one time when I was in first grade, my mother told me (jokingly, of course, but it still left a wound in my tender 6-year-old heart):
“The neighbor’s daughter has better grades than you. Maybe I should trade you for her instead.”
At that moment, my mind formed a limiting belief: If others are better than me, there will be less love for me.
In a desperate effort to get love, I subconsciously followed that belief for more than 20 years, trying to be an overachiever, all the time keeping vigilant watch at others’ achievement.
I was successful on the outside, but on the inside, I was a wreck. Worse, I was deeply lonely. (It’s hard to make friends when you’re so scared of their success!)
The more we think these thoughts, the smaller we feel.
This thought pattern might have been developed since your childhood, if your parents, like mine, often compared you with others.
What I learned, the hard way was that when you try to be better than others, you forget to be what you’re best at: yourself.
𝐄𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐮𝐬.
Some are lucky enough to identify it right away. Many take a bit longer to discover.
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👉 Unlock how you can be the cheerleader for others with this article: https://bit.ly/3aKluJv
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love yourself article 在 Facebook 的最佳解答
Trauma informed journalism. Do we have trauma awareness training at our news outlets? How much could it help our nation’s mental health if we did? Have been thinking about this a lot the past year and it applies to how the news is covered in general. With yesterday’s news, especially, read a harrowing account of one of the student’s experience with the news outlets outside their school. Should the kids themselves be the ones having to plead for compassion? (Am not saying this solely lies on the shoulders of journalists, this article shows how it’s more complicated than that. This is for the institutions.)
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Sending love to all those affected.
To the kids, I’m sorry that you have had to experience such tragedy at such a young age. if you don’t have a grown up who knows how to guide you through this, it must feel so scary, i hope you know that it doesn’t mean that what you are feeling is not valid. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not weak. You are not making a “big deal” out of “nothing”. That’s how a lot of adults have been taught to deal with the things we’ve been through, too, so they might not know how to guide you. If that’s the case, do reach out to someone who is trained to do this. Sending you lots of love. Have included a list compiled by @thetapestryproject 🤍
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To the adults, how difficult it must be. If no one has ever held space for your trauma, which shows up in many different ways, to have to learn how to do it for yourself and for those in your charge, that must be so hard. Sending you lots of love. Do take care of yourselves, if you don’t know how, do reach out to someone who is trained to do this. 🤍
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It’s been a lot, everything has been a lot. There is a community called @safecircle.sg, they’re committed to building a more trauma informed community, this is something that all of us can learn to do. Perhaps we learn to hold space, perhaps we learn to give compassion, perhaps we learn to receive it, perhaps we learn to have difficult conversations, perhaps we learn to deal with our emotions, perhaps we allow ourselves to have emotions, perhaps we learn to validate, perhaps we learn to grief. Perhaps. 🤍
love yourself article 在 Milena Nguyen Facebook 的最佳解答
In my coaching practice I rarely meet a client whose parents didn’t compare themselves with other kids.
Being compared, either favorably or negatively, takes away our inherent self-worth and fuses it with something outside of us. Creating the damaging narrative: “I’m only worthy when...”
But that’s not all.
We internalize comparison. Even when our parents are no longer around to do it for us, we can’t stop comparing ourselves to others. And we beat ourselves black and blue when we don’t seem to measure up.
Underneath our conscious mind, we tell ourselves a story:
“Someone better will take all the love away.”
This leads us to the damaging habit of comparing ourselves with others.
If you're struggling with this too, my latest article will help.
💛 Read on here in my blog: https://milenanguyen.com/blog/2020/2/27/3-ways-to-stop-comparing-yourself-to-others-and-recover-your-peace-of-mind
love yourself article 在 云子 Youtube 的最佳貼文
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love yourself article 在 Joseph Prince Youtube 的最佳解答
The reason why God is not angry with us believers today, in a minute. Also, find out why we can be in relationship with a perfect and holy God today, despite all our flaws, failings and imperfections. Would you believe that God loves you—as much as He loves His only Son, our Lord Jesus Christ? And it’s through receiving God's love, His wonderful grace (unmerited favor) and gift of righteousness (right standing with Him) that you’ll find yourself living in victory over sin (Romans 5:17, NLT). We know there’s so much to be unpacked in this video—so do keep a lookout for an upcoming article on www.decibel.one!
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Decibel.one: A digital magazine and online channel by Joseph Prince Ministries. Check us out at https://decibel.one/ for more grace-centered content.
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