關於 yen meaning ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

《 #籠罩下的巨大哀愁 》
正式開展啦～
歡迎各位到台北當代藝術館

/
詳細資訊｜https://reurl.cc/bXy09v

________________________________________________

A Dark Cloud of Sorrow Looms Over

by Yu-Jun LIN

Late mornings and sleepless nights. Frustration. Anxiety.

They seem to have infiltrated our consciousness and entered our dreams. We recognize the shape of eaves, the folding line of streets, and return to our dwelling coordinates where we hide and live. We see restless men and women in full feather wandering through the brightly-lit city and then sitting shoulder to shoulder with countless strangers, between countless walls.

In the 1970s, urbanism started paving its way into Taiwan. Bidding farewell to the landscape of an agricultural society, life thus became crowded and repressive in cities. The meaning of “urbanism” does not merely lie in towering skyscrapers but in altered landscapes, living conditions, isolation and loneliness as well as increasingly complex social issues. Submerged in the capitalist system, every person has been assumed as a tiny component, whose labor force is needed by the whole mechanism, but not with one’s individuality as well.

However, the construction of liberalism constantly reminds us of our own subjectivity, along with the importance of being viewed as a whole. Such contradictory values leads to extreme unease and confusion that keeps building up and ceaselessly floods our minds with external chaos. As worries that never subside loom over us, we are forced to retreat to our dwellings, where we are perfectly alone, and safe. We can uninhibitedly be ourselves – yet under the lingering dark cloud of sorrows.

Frustrating questions as “Who am I?” seem to return in lonesome nights, invariably. When night falls, myriads of dazzling lights glisten in innumerous windows at the near distance. Gazing into the dreamlike, transient light, we recall things we hope to seal for good in our troubled mind. We question again and again, about what role we should be playing to integrate into the society but still maintain the integrity of our own subjectivity.

A Dark Cloud of Sorrow Looms Over features eight selected pieces and delineates the question of how people, as individuals, should coexist with others, a question deriving from urbanites’ perceptual conflicts experiences.

Zheng Er Qi | People
“People” mirrors the phenomenon of Taiwan’s transition from being an agricultural society to city since 1970. It precisely portrays everyday urbanity that people nowadays are familiar with: Although millions of people reside on one spot, their recognition of one another fails to grow with urbanization, despite the presumable nearness.

Chung Chih Ting｜I Am by Your Side
With the explanation by an offscreen sound and the roleplay image, “I Am by Your Side” depicts how urbanites try to be in company, revealing people’s natural urge for social connection. Yet it ends up to be talking to oneself or pointless mumbles, simply a futility of communication.

Wu Bo Sian | Chimps with Mona Lisa’s Smile
In the video, the chimpanzees form a spectacle, say, abnormality, in a seemingly normal context. “Chimps with Mona Lisa’s Smile” is a response to conflicts between public administration and individual freedom, zooming in on the contradictions or constraints between all the intervenable and the non-intervenable in everyday scenes.

Wang Ding Yeh | One-One
“One-One” depicts how people try to maintain an intact, rational space of survival while sometimes fail to avoid transgressing, under limited resources in a highly competitive society. With much precision, it captures the specific default interpersonal distance, and poses the question: How should each person navigate to find the best living posture at the moment?

Tsai Jie | When the Dust Settles
“When the Dust Settles” shows people restlessly beating on a possible exit to get out. However, does such an exit really exist? Or is it simply a delusion stemming from one’s untamable impetuosity? The work reflects the desolation of men and women, who are rumbustious, but aimless.

Huan Yen Chiao | 1, 2, 3. Are You Already in Hiding, Fish?
Fish in the bowl resembles people trapped in cities: extravagant outfits, splashing neon lights; sensational visual effects indeed. “1, 2, 3. Are You Already in Hiding, Fish?” presents how people escape from their anxiety and weariness for the time being. The work highlights the entire incompatibility and a sense of solitude after one’s subjectivity is highly developed.

Wong Shu Lian | I found myself floating and sinking down once in a while
The work addresses the enduring controversy between liberalism and capitalism that have been engendering people’s inner conflicts. It captures one’s self-doubt and angst in a profound way while, by exploring how to determine one’s best position, raises the ultimate question – Who are we after all?

Chen Chia Jen | SWEETWATER
“SWEETWATER” was born under Chen’s reflections during his artistinresidence experience in Southeast Asia. Between people living in urban and rural areas, there is a grand difference of perspectives, regarding how to survive and live a good life. It implies the fact that the widely-recognized future image, constructed by our society, might not be as clear or real as it seems, or perhaps what people accepted is simply a vague, even somehow out-of-focus, prospect.
＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

《籠罩下的巨大哀愁》展覽資訊
展覽日期｜2021/08/07(Sat.) ─ 09/12(Sun.)
展覽地點｜台北當代藝術館廣場電視牆 MoCA Plaza LED TV Wall
播映時間｜ Mon. ─ Sun. 16:00-21:00

特別感謝｜ 贊助單位
厭世會社 @mis.society

#王鼎曄 #吳柏賢 #陳嘉壬 #黃彥超 #黃淑蓮 #蔡傑 #鄭爾褀 #鍾知庭 #林郁晉 #A_Dark_Cloud_of_Sorrow_Looms_Over
#MisanthropeSociety厭世會社
#厭世會社

【キンコン西野が全国の図書館3300館に絵本『えんとつ町のプペル』を寄贈】

まずは近況報告からさせていただきます。
２つあります。
まずは一つ目。

昨日、「スナック西野」の収録がありました。

「スナック西野」というのは、月に２度（ときどき３度）、僕の自宅に僕の友人をお招きして、呑みながらバッキバキに仕事の話をする僕がやっている月額５９０円のYouTubeチャンネルです。

　
【参加はコチラから↓】
https://m.youtube.com/sponsor_cha…/UCOy5sLcFLqYNqZ1iurp4dCg…

　
昨日は、メガネブランドのOWNDAYS代表の田中さんに来ていただいて、あれやこれやとお話しさせていただきました。

その中でも「どうしてOWNDAYSは実店舗がメインなのに、コロナ禍において、ダメージを受けるどころか、経営を加速させることができたのか？」という話がもうメチャクチャ面白くて、経済評論家のそれじゃなくて、現場の手触り感のある話なんですね。

コロナをどう捉え、どう立ち回るか、今回は世界中の経営者の手腕が試されたと思うのですが、昨日、聞いたOWNDAYS田中さんの捉え方、立ち回り方が僕個人的には圧倒的に正しいと思っていて、その部分は是非、観ていただきたいです。

「スナック西野」が隔週土曜日に放送されます。夕方に１０分の無料版が流れて、その夜に１時間の有料版が流れます。

次回のゲストはメガネブランドOWNDAYSの田中さん。その次は、おそらくSHOWROOMの前田さんです。

お楽しみに。

https://youtu.be/J_E_Vixvvj8

　

近況報告の二つ目です。



先日、公開された映画『えんとつ町のプペル』のメインビジュアル。こちらは映画館に貼り出されるポスターや、映画館にデーン！と出る看板に使われる、いわば「広告素材」なのですが、この出来がメチャクチャいいんです。

僕はスマホの待ち受けにもしています。

これ、普通に、額装して部屋に飾りたいよなぁと思ってですね、映画の公開日や声優さんの名前といった文字情報を全部抜いて、「アートポスター」として販売することになりました。

(コチラ)→https://silkhat.yoshimoto.co.jp/projects/2134

　
クラウドファンディングのリターンとして出しているのですが、一つ、条件があります。

ポスターって「配送」にしてしまうと、配送費が結構かかっちゃうんですね。

なので、１２月に六本木ヒルズで開催する『えんとつ町のプペル光る絵本展in六本木ヒルズ（入場無料）』での直接受け渡しを条件とさせていただきました。

会場まで受け取りに来られる方、限定です。

友達の分を代表で取りに来るのもオッケーですし、ポスターの転売も全然オッケーですので、勝手に商売を始めていただいても構いません。



あと、サラッと言っちゃいましたが、六本木ヒルズで個展を開催しようと思ったら、３０００万円ぐらいかかっちゃうのですが、それを「入場無料」というのは、そこそこ狂気の沙汰なんです。

これは、オンラインサロンの売り上げから個展の開催費用を捻出しているからできたわけで、オンラインサロンの売り上げというのは、こういうことに使わせていただいております。

エッフェル塔で開催した個展が入場無料だったのも、同じ理由です。



光る絵本展は入場無料ですので、是非、ご家族で遊びにいらしてください。
クリスマスに開催します。





というわけで、今日の本題です。



タイトルにありますとおり、この度、図書館協会の方とお話しさせていただいて、全国の図書館３３００館に絵本『えんとつ町のプペル』を寄贈させていただくことが決定しました。

よく、「支援とか寄贈とかばっかりしていますが、大丈夫なんですか？」と聞かれるので、ご説明させていただきと、まず大前提として僕は「いい人」だと思われたいというのがあります。なので偽善中の偽善です。

くわえて、利益や貯金を増やすことには僕は一切の興味がなくて、なので、働いていただいたお金はエンタメ投資か支援活動に回すことを決めています。そういうコンセプトで会社をやっているんです。

最悪、食いっぱぐれて食う物に困ったら、サロンメンバーさんの家を一軒一軒回って、晩飯をご馳走になることを勝手に決めているので、そのへんセーフティーネットはバッチリなんですね。



次に、「図書館で読めちゃったら絵本が売れなくなるのでは？」というご意見・ご心配に対してお答えすると、たしかに「もう読んだから要らない」と考える方もいらっしゃるとは思うのですが、その一方で、「図書館で読んだ絵本を自分用に持っておきたい」という新しい需要も生まれると思っていて、これは「どっちとも言えない」というところだと思います。

くわえて僕は、絵本が「売れる売れない」よりも、「知ってる知らない」の方を重要視した方がいいという考えで、もちろん活動を続けていく以上、「売れること」というのはとっても大事なのですが、それよりも遥かに「知ってもらうこと」の方が大事だと思っています。



当たり前の話ですが、知られなかったら売れないので。

順番としては「知られる」方が先なんですね。

全てのサービスのお客さんは「知らないから買わないお客さん」と「知ってて買うお客さん」と「知ってて買わないお客さん」の３つに分けられて、まずは、知ってもらう割合を増やすことが大事だと思います。

図書館で「えんとつ町のプペル」を読んだご家族が、「えんとつ町のプペル」を買わなかったとしても、「えんとつ町のプペル」の話を、まだ「えんとつ町のプペル」を知らない友達とかに話してくれたら、その友達が「買ってくれる候補」には入る。

あとは、絵本は買わないけど、「図書館で読んだ絵本の映画は観に行く」という選択肢もある。



ときどき、「販売している本をどんどん貸し出されてしまうと、売り上げに悪影響が出る」と図書館を敵視する出版社さんがいらっしゃいますが、さっきみたいな考えでいくと、図書館の意味ってメチャクチャあると思っていて、敵どころか、互いに好影響をもたらしながら共存できる関係です。

なので僕は本屋さんも応援しますし、図書館も応援します。



西野亮廣(キングコング)

　
　

▼西野亮廣の最新のエンタメビジネスに関する記事(1記事=2000~3000文字)が毎朝読めるのはオンラインサロン(ほぼメルマガ)はコチラ↓
https://salon.jp/nishino

▼Instagram版はコチラ↓
https://nishino73.thebase.in/items/25497065

━━━
２０２０年１２月２５日公開！
映画『えんとつ町のプペル』

▼オンラインムビチケ（特典付き）の購入はこちら↓
https://mvtk.jp/Film/070395

▼上映館はこちら
https://theater.toho.co.jp/toho_theaterlist/poupelle.html…
[Xin Nishino gives a picture book ′′ a no-in-town ′′ to the 3300th library across the country]

First of all, I'm going to have a status report.
There are 2
First one.

Yesterday, there was a recording of ′′ snack nishino,"

′′ snack nishino ′′ is 2 degrees a month (sometimes 3 degrees), I invite my friend to my home, and I'm going to talk about work to basher while drinking. I'm doing it It's a youtube channel for 590 yen per month.

　
[join here ↓]
https://m.youtube.com/sponsor_channel/UCOy5sLcFLqYNqZ1iurp4dCg?noapp=1

　
Yesterday, I came to Mr. Tanaka, representative of the glasses brand, and I was able to talk to this and this.

Even in the middle of the day, ′′ why is owndays the main store, but in the corona misfortune, it was able to accelerate the management?" it's already so interesting, and it's not the economic critic, It's a touch of the site, isn't it?

How to capture corona and how to fight, this time I think that the skills of the management of the world have been tested, but yesterday, I heard how to capture owndays tanaka, and how to fight, I personally think that it is overwhelmingly right. I'd like you to watch that part.

′′ snack nishino ′′ will be broadcast on Saturday. A 10-minute free version will be flowing in the evening and a 1-hour paid version will be flowing that night.

The next guest is Mr. Tanaka from glasses brand owndays. Next is probably maeda from showroom.

Look forward to it.

https://youtu.be/J_E_Vixvvj8

　

It's the second one of the status report.



The main visual of the movie ′′ a in town ′′ which was published the other day. This is a poster that will be pasted in the cinema and Dane in the cinema! It's a ′′ advertising material ′′ that is used for the sign that comes out, but this is so messed up.

I'm also waiting for my smartphone.

I think this is normally framed and decorated in my room, I'm going to pull out all the character information such as the public day of the movie and the name of the voice actor, and I'm going to sell it as an ′′ Art Poster,"

(here) -> https://silkhat.yoshimoto.co.jp/projects/2134

　
I'm putting it out as a return to crowdfunding, but there's one condition.

When the poster is ′′ shipping it takes a lot of shipping costs.

So, in December, we were able to take a direct delivery at the ′′ a picture book book in roppongi hills (FREE ENTRY)′′ held in roppongi hills.

It's limited to those who can come to the venue to pick it up.

It's okay to come to pick up a friend's minute, and the resale of the poster is totally okay, so you can start your business.



I said it was easy, but I thought I was going to hold a solo exhibition in roppongi hills, and it takes about 3000 Yen, but it's a pretty madness that ′′ free entry ′′ is a lot of madness.

This is what I was able to do because I was able to make the cost of the exhibition from the sales of the online salon, and the sales of the online salon are used to use this.

It's the same reason why the exhibition held at the Eiffel Tower was free admission.



The Glow painting book is free to enter, so please come and visit us in your family.
It will be held at Christmas.





So today's chase.



As in the title, I was able to talk to the Library Association, and I was able to give you a picture book ′′ a no-′′ to the 3300th library across the country.

I often ask," I'm all about support and donations, but is it okay?" so let me explain it, and first of all, I want to think that I'm a ′′ good person ′′ Yes. So it's hypocrisy in hypocrisy.

In my mouth, I don't have any interest in increasing profit and savings, so the money that I've been working on is deciding to turn into an entertainment investment or support activity. I'm doing a company with that kind of concept.

The worst, if you're in trouble with the things you eat, you'll be able to go around the salon member's house and have a treat for dinner, so the safety net is perfect.



Next," if you read it in the library, you won't be able to sell a picture book?" if you answer your opinion, you'll think that there are some people who think that ′′ I don't need it because I read it already," Meanwhile," I think I'm going to have a new demand that I want to have a picture book that I read at the library, and I think this is ′′ I can't say both of them

In my mouth, I think that the picture book is better to take a look at the ′′ I don't know ′′ than ′′ I can't sell it," and of course I continue to work," I'm going to sell it," It's very important, but I think it's more important to ′′ know ′′ than that.



It's an obvious story, but if you don't know, you won't

In order, ′′ known ′′ is first.

Every service customer is divided into one of the ′′ customers who don't buy because they don't know ′′ and ′′ customers who know and buy ′′ and ′′ customers who know and don't buy ′′ and first of all, I'll get it I think it's important to increase the percentage.

Even if the family who read ′′ a in the library ′′ didn't buy ′′ a in the town," the story of ′′ a in the town ′′ is still ′′ a ′′ If you talk to a friend who doesn't know the-in one town, that friend will enter the ′′ candidate to buy ′′

Later, I don't buy a picture book, but there is also an option that ′′ I'm going to see the movie of the picture book I read at the library,"



Sometimes there is a publisher who is enemy to the library, ′′ if you are getting more and more of the books that are selling, it will affect the sales," but when you think about it earlier, the meaning of the library is messed up. It's a relationship that can coexist with each other, not an enemy.

So I'm rooting for the bookstore, and I'm rooting for the library too.



Ryo Nishino (King Kong)

　
　

▼ an article about the latest entertainment business of ryo nishino (1 articles = 2000 to 3000 characters) can be read every morning online salon (almost mail magazine) is here ↓
https://salon.jp/nishino

▼ Instagram version is here ↓
https://nishino73.thebase.in/items/25497065

━━━
Released on December 25, 2020!
The movie in a town ′′

▼ Buy Online Bangabandhu (with perks) here ↓
https://mvtk.jp/Film/070395

▼ here is the screening hall
https://theater.toho.co.jp/toho_theaterlist/poupelle.html#region7Translated

My sister, Michelle-Ann Iking's 3% chance of conceiving naturally was a success! Here's her story:

(My apologies as I've been overwhelmed with personal matters. I've only managed to get to my desk. So finally got around posting this).

This is the story behind my sister's pregnancy struggle and how she shared her journey over her Facebook page.

Because some may have not caught her LIVE session chat with me (https://www.facebook.com/daphneiking/videos/687743128744960/) , or read her lengthy post (as it's a private page);
she's allowed me to copy and paste it over my wall, in case you need to know more about her thought process on how AND why she focused on the 3% success probability. Read on.

-------------------------------------------

Posted 10th May 2020.
FB Credit: Michelle-Ann Iking

A week ago today I celebrated becoming a mother to our second, long awaited child.

Please forgive this mother's LONG (self-indulgent) post, journalling what this significant milestone has meant for her personally, for her own fallible memory's sake as well as maybe to share one day with her son.

If all you were wondering was whether I had delivered and if mum and bub are OK, please be assured the whole KkLM family are thriving tremendously, and continue scrolling right along your Newsfeed 😁.

OUR 3% MIRACLE

All babies are miracles... and none more so than our precious Kiaen Aaryan (pronounced KEY-n AR-yen), whose name derives from Sanskrit origins meaning:

Grace of God
Spiritual
Kind
Benevolent

...words espousing the gratitude Kishore and I feel for Kiaen's arrival as our "3% miracle".

He was conceived, naturally, after 3 years of Kishore and I hoping, praying and 'endeavoring'... and only couples for whom the objective switches from pure recreation to (elusive) procreation will understand how this is less fun than it sounds ...

3 years during which time we had consensus from 3 different doctors that we, particularly I (with my advancing age etc etc) had only a 3% chance of natural conception and that our best hope for a sibling for our firstborn, Lara Anoushka, was via IVF.

Lara herself was an 'intervention baby', being one of the 20% of babies successfully conceived through the less intrusive IUI process, after a year and a half of trying naturally and already being told then my age was a debilitating factor.

We had tried another round of IUI for her sibling in 2017 when Lara was a year old. And that time we fell into the ranks of the 80% of would-be parents for whom it would be an exercise in futility... who would go home, comfort each other as best they could, while individually masking their own personal disappointment... hoping for the best, 'the next time around'...

So the improbability ratio of 97% against natural conception of our second baby, as concurred by the combined opinion of 3 medical professionals, was a very real, very daunting figure for us to have to mentally deal with.

Deep, DEEP, down in my heart however, though I had many a day of doubt... I kept a core kernel of faith that somehow, I would again experience the privilege of pregnancy, and again, have a chance at childbirth.

And so, the optimist in me would tell myself, "Well, there have to be people who fall in the 3% bucket... why shouldn't WE be part of the 3%?"

Those who know me well, understand my belief in the Law of Attraction, the philosophy of focusing your mind only on what you want to attract, not on what you don't want, and so even as Kishore and I prepared to go into significant personal debt to attempt IVF in the 2nd half of 2019, I marshalled a last ditch effort to hone in on that 3% chance of natural conception... through research coming across fertility supplements that I ordered from the US and sent to a friend in Singapore to redirect to me because the supplier would not deliver to Malaysia.

I made us as a couple take the supplements in the 3 month 'priming period' in the lead up to the IVF procedure - preconditioning our bodies for optimum results, if you will.

At the same time, I had invested in a sophisticated fertility monitor, with probes and digital sensors for daily tracking of saliva and other unmentionable fluid samples, designed to pinpoint with chemical accuracy my state of fertility on any given day.

(UPDATE: For those interested - I obtained the supplements and Ovacue Fertility Monitor from https://www.fairhavenhealth.com/. Though I had my supplies delivered to a friend in Singapore, and redirected to me here since the US site does not deliver to Malaysia, there are local distributors for these products, you will just have to research the trustworthiness of the vendors yourself...)

I had set an intention - in the 3 months of pre-IVF priming, I would consume what seemed like a pharmacy's worth of supplements, and track fertility religiously... in hopes that somehow, within the 3 month priming period, we would conceive naturally and potentially save ourselves a down payment on a new property... and this was just a projection on financial costs of IVF, not even considering the physical, emotional and mental toll it involves, with no guarantee of a baby at the end of it all...

It was a continuation of an intention embedded even with my first pregnancy, where all the big ticket baby items were consciously purchased for use by a future sibling, in gender neutral colours, in hopes that sibling would be a brother "for a balanced pair", though of course any healthy child would be a welcome blessing.

It was a very conscious determination to always skew my thoughts in service of what the end objective was. For example, when 3+year old Lara would innocently express impatience at not yet having a sibling, at one point suggesting that since we were "taking too long to give her a baby brother/sister", perhaps we should just "go buy a baby from a shop", instead of getting defensive or berating the baby that she herself was, we enlisted Lara's help to pray for her sibling... so in any place of worship, or sacred ground of any kind that we passed thereon, Lara would stop, close her eyes, bow her small head and place her tiny hands together in prayer, reciting earnestly, "Please God, please give me a baby brother or baby sister."

After months and months of watching Lara do this, in the constancy of her childlike chant, Kishore started feeling the pressure of possibly disappointing Lara if her prayer was not answered. Whereas for me, Lara's recitation of her simple wish became like a strengthening mantra, our collective intention imbued with greater power with each repetition, and the goal of a sibling kept very much in the forefront of our minds (hence our calling Lara our 'project manager' in this endeavour).

And somehow in the 2nd month of that 3 month period, a positive + sign appeared on one of the home pregnancy tests I had grown accustomed to taking - my version of the lottery tickets others keep buying in hopes of hitting the jackpot, with all the cyclical anticipation and more often than not, disappointment, that entails...

This time however I was not disappointed.

With God's Grace, (hence 'Kiaen', a variation of 'Kiaan' which means 'Grace of God'), my focus on our joining the ranks of the 3% had materialised.

It seems poetic then, that Kiaen chose to make his appearance on the 3rd May, ironically the same date that his paternal great-grandfather departed this world for the next... such that in the combined words of Kishore and his father Kai Vello Suppiah,

"The 1st generation Suppiah left on 3rd May and the 4th generation Suppiah arrived on 3rd May after 41yrs...
One leaves, another comes, the legacy lives on..."

***

KIAEN AARYAN SUPPIAH'S BIRTH STORY

On Sunday 3rd May, I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

The baby was, in my mind, very UN-fashionably late past his due date of 29th April, so as much as I had willed and 'manifested' the privilege of pregnancy, to say I was keen to be done with it all was an understatement.

In the weeks leading to up to my full term, I had experienced increasingly intense Braxton-Hicks 'practice contractions' - annoying for me for the discomfort involved, stressful for Kishore who was on tenterhooks with the false alarms, on constant alert for when we would actually need to leave home for the hospital.

Having become a Hypnobirthing student and advocate from my first pregnancy with Lara, and thus being equipped with
(1) a lack of fear about childbirth in general and
(2) a basic understanding of how all the sensations I would experience fit into the big picture of my body bringing our baby closer to us,
I was less stressed - content to wait for the baby to be "fully cooked" and come out whenever he was ready... though I wouldn't have minded at all if the cooking time ended sooner, rather than later.

With Lara, I had been somewhat 'forced' into an induced labour, even though she was not yet due, and that had resulted in a 5 DAY LABOUR, a Birth Story for another post, so I was not inclined to chemically induce labour, even though I was assured that for second time mothers, it would be 'much faster and easier'...

That morning, I had a hunch *maybe* that day was the day, because in contrast to previous weeks' sensations of tightening, pressure and even spasms that were concentrated in the front of my abdomen and occasionally shot through my sides and legs, I felt period - like cramping in my lower back which I had not felt before throughout the pregnancy.

It was about 8am in the morning then, and my 'surges' were still relatively mild ('surges' being Hypnobirthing - speak for 'contractions', designed to frame them with the more positive connotations needed to counteract common language in which childbirth is presented as something that is unequivocally painful and traumatic, instead of the miraculous, powerful and natural phenomenon it actually is).

I recall (masochistically?) entertaining the thought of opting NOT to have an epidural JUST TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE...

I figured this would be the last time I would be pregnant and so it would be my 'last chance' to experience 'drug free labour' which, apart from the health benefits for baby and mother, might be *interesting* in a way that people who are curious about what getting a tattoo and skydiving and bungee jumping are like, might find these *interesting*...even knowing there will be pain and risk involved...

Since I have tried tattoos and skydiving (unfortunately not being able to squeeze in bungee-jumping while my life was purely my own to risk at no dependents' possible detriment) a similar curiousity about a no-epidural labour was on my mind...

In the absence of other signs of the onset of labour (like 'bloody show' or my waters breaking), I wanted to wait until the surges were coming every few minutes before we actually left the house for the hospital, not wanting to be one of those couples who rushed in too early and had interminable waits for the next stage in unfamiliar, clinical surroundings and/or were made to go home in an anti-climatic manner.

I was even calm enough through my surges to have the presence of mind to wash and blowdry my hair, knowing if I did deliver soon I would not be allowed this luxury for a while.

Around 9am I asked Kishore to prep for Lara and himself to be dressed and breakfasted so we could head to hospital soon, while I sent messages to family members on both sides informing them 'today might be the day.'

My mother, who had briefly served as a midwife before going back into general nursing and then becoming a nursing tutor, prophetically stated that if what I was experiencing was true labour, "the baby would be out by noon".

The pace in which my surges grew closer together was surprisingly quicker than I expected; and while I asked Lara to "Hurry up with breakfast" with only a tad more urgency than we normally tell her to do, little Missy being prone to dilly-dallying at meals, I probably freaked Kishore out when about 930am onwards, I had to instinctively get on my hands and knees a couple of times, eyes closed, trying to practice the Hypnobirthing breathing techniques I had revised to help along the process of my body birthing our child into the world.

I recall him saying a bit frantically as I knelt at our front door, doubled over as he waited for Lara to complete something or other, "Lara hurry up! Can't you see Mama is in so much pain and you are taking your own sweet time??!!"

SIDETRACK: Just the night before, Lara and I had watched a TV show in which a woman gave birth with the usual histrionics accompanying pop culture depictions of labour.

Lara watched the scene, transfixed.

I told her, simply and matter-of-factly, "That's what Mama has to do to get baby brother out Lara, and that's what I had to do for you also."

In most of interactions with my daughter, I have sought to equip her to face life's situations with calmness, truthful common sense, and ideally a minimum of drama.

Those who know the dramatic diva that Lara can be will know that this is a work-in-progress, but her response to me that night showed me some of my 'teachings' were sinking in:

She looked at me unfazed, "But Mama," she said. "You won't cry and scream like that lady, right? You will be BRAVE and stay calm, right?"
#nopressure.

So as we prepped to leave for the hospital I did indeed attempt to be that role model of calm for her, asking her only for her help in keeping very quiet,
"Because Mama needs to focus on bringing baby brother out and she needs quiet to concentrate...".

As we left the house at 10.11am, I texted Kishore's sister Geetha to please prep to pick up Lara from the hospital, and was grateful Kishore had the foresight to ask our gynae to prepare a letter for Geetha to show any police roadblocks between my in-laws' home in Subang Jaya and the hospital in Bangsar, this all happening under the Movement Control Order (MCO).

To Lara's credit, in the journey over to the hospital, she - probably sensing the gravity of the situation, sat very quietly in her seat at the back, and the silence was punctuated only by my occasional deep intakes of breath and some variation of my Ohmmm-like moans when the sensations were at their height.

By the time we got to Pantai Hospital at around 10.30am, my surges were strong enough I requested a wheelchair to assist me in getting to the labour ward, as I did not trust my own legs to support me... and Kishore would have to wait until Geetha had arrived to take Lara back to my in-laws' house before he himself could go up.

I slumped in the wheelchair and was wheeled up to the labour room with my eyes closed the whole time, trying to handle my surges.

I didn't even look up to see the attendant who pushed me... but did make the effort to thank him sincerely when he handed me over, with what seemed like a palpable sense of relief on his part, to the labour ward nurses.

The nurse attending me at Pantai was calm, steady and efficient. I answered some questions and changed into my labour gown while waiting for Kishore to come up, all the while managing the increasingly intense surges with my rusty Hypnobirthing breathing techniques.

By the time Kishore joined me at around 11am (I know these timings based on the timestamps of the 'WhatsApp live feed' of messages Kishore sent to his family), I was asking the nurse on duty, "How soon can I get an epidural??" thinking what crazy woman thought she could do this without drugs???!!!

The nurse checked my cervix dilation, I saw her bloodied glove indicating my mucous plug had dislodged, and she told me, "Well you are already at 7cm (which, for the uninitiated, is 70% of the way to the 10cm dilation needed for birthing), you are really doing well, if you made it this far without any drugs, if can you try and manage without it... I suspect within 2 hours or less you will deliver your baby and since it will take about that time for the anaesthesiologist to be called, epidural to be administered and kick in... it might all be for nothing... but of course the decision is completely up to you... "

So there I was, super torn, should I risk the sensations becoming worse... or risk the epidural becoming a waste?? And of course I was trying to decide this as my labour surges were coming at me stronger and stronger...

I was in such a dilemma...because as a 'recovering approval junkie' there was also a silly element of approval-seeking involved, ("The nurse thinks I can do this without drugs... maybe I CAN do this without drugs... Yay me!") mixed with that element of curiosity I mentioned earlier ("What if I actually CAN do this without drugs... plenty of other women have done it all over the world since time immemorial.. no big deal, how bad can it be...??") so then I thought I would use the financial aspect to be the 'tiebreaker' in my decision making...

I asked the nurse how much an epidural would cost and when she replied "Around MYR1.5k", I still remember Kishore's incredulous face as I asked the question, i.e."Seriously babe, you are gonna think about money right now? If you need the epidural TAKE IT, don't worry about the money!!!"... and while we are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, thankfully RM1.5k is not a quantum that made me swing towards a decision to "better save the money"...

So in the end, I guess my curiosity won out, and I turned down the epidural "just to see what it would be like and if I had it in me" (in addition of course to avoiding the side effects of any drugs introduced into my and the baby's body).

My labour occuring in the time of coronavirus, it was protocol for me to have a COVID19 test done, so the medical staff could apply the necessary precautions. I had heard from a friend Sharon Ruba that the test procedure was uncomfortable, so when the nurse came with the test kit as I was starting another surge, I asked, "Please can I just finish this surge before I do the test?" as I really didn't think I could multitask tackling multiple uncomfortable sensations in one go.

The COVID19 test involved what felt like a looong, skinny cotton bud being inserted into one nostril... I definitely felt more than a tickle as it went in and up, being told to take deep breaths by the nurse. Then she asked me to "Try to swallow" and I felt it go into my nasal cavities where I didn't think anything could go any further, but was proven wrong when she asked me to swallow again and the swab was probed even deeper. Then she warned me there would be some slight discomfort as she prepared to collect a sample... but at that point all I could think about was:

(i) I really don't have much of a choice
(ii) please let this be over before my next surge kicks in
(iii) if all the people breaking the MCO rules knew what it feels like to do this test maybe they won't put themselves at risk of the need to perform one...

In full disclosure as I was transferred into the actual delivery room at some point after 11am, another nurse offered me 'laughing gas' to ostensibly take some of the edge off... I took the self-operated breathing nozzle passed to me but don't recall it making any difference to my sensations..so didn't use it much as it seemed pretty pointless.

I recall some measure of relief when I heard my gynae Dr. Paul entering the room, greeting Kishore and me, and telling us it was going well and it wouldn't be long now and he would see us again shortly.

From my previous labour with Lara I knew the midwives pretty much take you 90% of the way through the labour and when the Dr is called in you are really at the home stretch, so was very relieved to hear his voice though knowing he would leave and come back later meant it wasn't quite over yet.

I do remember realising when I had crossed the Thinning and Opening Phase of labour to the Birthing Phase, by the change in sensations... it is still amazing to me that as the Hypnobirthing book mentioned, having this knowledge I was instinctively able to switch breathing techniques for the next stage of labour .

Was my opting against epidural the right choice for me?

Overall? Yes.

Don't get me wrong.

I *almost* regretted the decision several times during active labour... especially when I felt my body being taken over by an overwhelming compulsion to push that did not seem conscious and was accompanied by involuntary gutteral moans where I literally just thought to myself, "I surrender, God do with me what you will..." (super dramatic I know but VERY real at the time...).

I think I experienced 3-4 such natural explusive reflexes (?), rhythmically pushing the baby down the birth path, one of which was accompanied by what felt like a swoosh of water coming out of a hose with a diameter the size of a golf ball... this was when I realised my water had finally broken...

The nurses kept instructing me to do different things, to keep breathing, to move to my side, then to move to the middle, to raise my feet... and when I didn't comply, Kishore (who was with me throughout both my labours) tried to help them by repeating the instructions prefaced with "Sayang..." but I basically ignored all the intructions because I felt I had no capacity to direct any part of my body to do anything and someone else would have to physically manoeuvre that body part themselves.

When I heard Dr. Paul's voice again and the flurry of commotion surrounding his presence, I knew the time was close... and when I heard the nurse say to Kishore, "Sir, these are your gloves, for when you cut the baby's cord", it was music to my ears...

I'm very, VERY grateful Kiaen slid out after maybe the 4th of those involuntary pushes... the wave of RELIEF when he came out so quickly... it still boggles my mind that my mother was essentially right and as his birth time was 12.02pm, it was *only* about 1.5 hours between our arrival at the hospital and his arrival into the world.

Kiaen was placed on my chest for skin to skin bonding and remained there for a considerable time.

For our short stay in the hospital he would be with us in my maternity ward number C327... another trivially serendipitous sign for me because he was born on the 3rd (May) and our wedding anniversary is 27th (July).

I was discharged the following day 4th May at about 5.30pm, after I got an all clear on COVID19 and a paediatric surgeon did a small procedure on Kiaen to address a tongue-tie that would affect his breastfeeding latch... making the entire duration of our stay about 31 hours.

I have taken the time and effort to record all this down so that whenever life's challenges threaten to get me down I can remind myself, "Ignore the 97% failure probability, focus on the 3% success probability".

Also that the human condition is miraculous and it is such a privilege to experience it.

To our son Kiaen Aaryan, thank you for coming into our lives and choosing us as your parents.

Even though Papa and I are both zombies trying to settle into a night time feeding routine with you, I look forward to spending not only all future Mother's Days, but every day, with you and your Akka...

And last but not least, to my husband Kishore...without whom none of this would be possible - we did it sayang, I love you ❤️

Photo credit: Stayhome session with Samantha Yong Photography (http://samanthayong.com/)

DIY Candy version LIFEGUARD Jelly Drink and Spam Onigiri rice ball. LIFEGUARD is a kind of energy drink which has been sold since 1986. This is DIY candy version. Spam Onigiri is Convenience store Familymart item. Musubi or Omusubi is the same meaning to Onigiri. Onigiri is basically triangle shape, but this is rectangle just folded. This kind of Onigiri called 'Onigirazu' and has been popular recently, because it's easy to cook. Which type of onigiri do you like? LIFEGUARD jelly drink is 198 yen(1.8 USD), Spam Onigiri is 248 yen(2.3 USD).
#japanesestuffchannel, #diycandy, #onigiri

Have you ever wonder what's the meaning behind all the auspicious myths for Chinese New Year ? Come join us and chill as we casually list out the facts behind each and every do and don't on Chinese New Year !! P.S. This content is just for entertainment purpose and made solely to tickle your curiosity buds. Teehee...
祝大家新年快乐！！
Happy Lunar New Year everyone ❤️

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Came to visit me from Australia

FY 1975 125cc champion
https://youtu.be/aEk4CkhLTuo
Yes SRX500 is owned,

Always "best in class" machine in the mission was born Mach SS
500SS

Was always conscious of the world's fastest "KAWASAKI", the supremacy of Power [Mach series was developed to meet the needs of North America. After all features are "two-stroke three-cylinder" peculiar layout. At that time [two-cylinder model was mainly 』, each cylinder is small, compact and can reduce vibration cooling mission, from the technical superiority of" three-cylinder two-cycle piston reed valve "was adopted. In fact, "two-cylinder two-stroke Rotaridisukubarubu" The development plan at the same time, the development had been good results with both the actual proposal. But, ultimately, can appeal and innovative design with an innovative technology, "three-cylinder two-stroke piston reed valve" proposal which was adopted.

』[The 500SS 3 Mach Mach (H1), including, 750SS (H2), 400SS (S3), 350SS (S2), 250SS (S1) and had many variations. The emergence of avant-garde high-power machines, the riders were attracted a lot of them ironically are therefore [the supremacy of Power "is fast, unyielding, unstoppable" "and never an easy ride to palaver machine say "we would be described as such. Moreover, machines were invented after the name of "Z1" 討Chitonari chasing the appearance of the wave of the future gradually (4-cylinder air-cooled 4) is swallowed, and was short-lived. Mach series, however, "Mach" The basic layout is unchanged, 400SS · 250SS 1976 to "KH400" "KH250" but changed its name, and was also a longtime production until 1980.

The model had short-lived indeed, and that accelerates like a rocket, an exhaust air-cooling metal fins rugged play is only in the Mach different world. The unruly "horse," I domesticate domesticated, meaning that [the status of motorcyclists 』whether or not then? The Kawasaki but in recent years," Mach strike 4 "and Xanthus as Z1000 also as someone rolled out to.

Madly in love on sight synonymous with Mach-[』will continue to attract many riders still, we fight against Han Mach no end.
Has been developed seeking the seat of the world's fastest 500SS "3 Mach"
"Speed" made a thorough commitment to "Mach" is, Z1 was born six years ago, in 1966, "bigger, more powerful!" Was developed based on the concept in 1969 . Domestic standard is "Tank" Black appeared in. [From the shape of the future born of design, bold! Were] attached a copy of the catch. (Incidentally, the export specification "navy blue stripes on white body" was.)

"Air-cooled two-stroke three-cylinder" layout is peculiar, "Mach" not just an impression, and it was in technical innovation? ... The two-cylinder engine each cylinder from the mainstream of the time it can be reduced, and so compact vibration reduction mission of improving the cooling effect is also the layout is also considered a number of technical advantages. In fact, repeated experiments in parallel with development of various engine layout too, it's also an established style. The first production car "CDI ignition system" was also adopted, and this is the Mach 3.

Multiply the world 放Tta Mach Kawasaki prestige, world-class performance and powerful acceleration, but had high-speed performance, maneuverability is also a good compliment. However, this is why we ride bikes more, "Mach horse," challenging to fight for the ride, the saga created a number of them. "3-speed to leave the wheelie!" Etc., a number of Mach Legend 』is produced, and went around the world to attract more riders. It was also released around the same time "CB750FOUR" It was also cheaper than other performance cars, one reason may be popular. ("CB750FOUR" is 385,000 yen, "500SS" is 298,000 yen.) ... Easier to obtain than the giants sit in a row, you can achieve if they run beyond 乗Rikonasere yet. Many riders would be attracted to such a valiant figure.

Supplement is, in fact, show special effects in TV series was popular a year from 1972 Fuji "Android Kikaider" hero Kikaida sidecar carrying this "Mach 3", respectively. Moreover, spec racer (Nira) is rather surprising from a special machine built in the frame! In addition, the nemesis "Hakaider" The Love Machine H2 (750SS), respectively. The 1970 Tokyo Motor Show is "Kawasaki Mach III special sidecar GT500" had been exhibited as a reference.