疫情持續，但學習不能中斷。
今天與同學分享Presentality最新的寫作技巧分析。
英文寫作絕對不只是將單字句型套用在模板上就好了。
用專業的寫作方法讓你的寫作有意義!
★★★★★★★★★★★★
最近疫情再次高升，駐台灣的Bloomberg 記者寫了一篇文章：
Complacency Let Covid Erode Taiwan’s Only Line of Defense
自滿讓 COVID 侵蝕了台灣唯一的防線
文章：https://bloom.bg/3ywfKA9
我們來看看Bloomberg寫的一篇好文章：
★★★★★★★★★★★★
📌 結構：當調查故事寫
這篇文章讀起來一點都不無聊，不只是因為它攸關我們的社會，也是因為他在結構上，就像一個偵探調查的故事：
1. Opening line: 戲劇性開場，不要無聊
2. Background: 然後再給簡短背景
3. Key moment: 影響後續發展最關鍵的事件
4. Outcome: 這個決定的後果
5. What to do: 國際專家建議應該怎麼做
6. But.....: 可惜，可能做不到
7. Details: 後面的部分，再進入細節
★★★★★★★★★★★★
📌 最好的開頭 = 簡短有力、抓住注意力、又可以做結論
我們先來看開頭三段：
All the virus had to do was get through the border.
Until this week, Taiwan’s Covid-19 containment appeared to be so effective that virtually no other defenses were put in place: few tests, no local surveillance to pick up undetected infection and close to zero vaccination.
Lauded as one of most successful places in the world at containment, a high level of complacency about the risks had set in among both the public and authorities. Covid-19 seemed to be something happening only in the outside world.
如果是我們認識大部分的人來寫，通常會從第二段開始。為什麼？因為總是要解釋背景嘛！而且任何人在研究這個議題，都會從背景開始教育自己，所以就不自覺的從背景寫起。
但他們不這麼做，反而以一個吸引人的方式開頭：
All the virus had to do was get through the border.
這個開頭有幾個優點：
•簡短一行，讓人不會看到一大坨字就不想要繼續看
•有故事性：好像病毒是一個入侵的敵人
•又是結論：怎麼會發生？一旦病毒溜進來了，就會發生
這種是非常理想的開頭：因為就算我沒有時間看剩下的，也會理解到文章的重點：邊境守的很嚴，但是裡面很鬆散。
第一句，下的太好了。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
📌 給一點背景後，馬上提到關鍵一個決定
記者們解釋背景的篇幅，就只有三段。他們很快就鎖定關鍵的一個 (錯誤) 決定：
The virus’s opening was an ill-fated decision on April 15 to shorten quarantine for airline crew to just three days, as carriers struggled to operate their cargo lines with staff undergoing 14-day isolation periods. Infected pilots introduced a more transmissible U.K. variant, whose spread was then accelerated through a network of “hostess bars” -- places both staff and patrons were reluctant to be associated with, making contact tracing more difficult.
如果他們再花 1-2 段解釋背景，文章就會變得有點無聊，會流失讀者。
所以他們在這裡提到關鍵的失策。
📌 Note：寫作語氣相對正式
這幾位記者，也許是受 Bloomberg 整體風格影響，還算正式。
從哪邊看的出來呢？
The virus's opening was an ill-fated decision...
輕鬆口語化的文章，絕對不會用 "ill-fated" (ill 就是生病/不好嘛，fate 就是命運，所以就是「之後的命運不好」的一個決定。這是一個很不錯的字就是了。
另一個例子，看這句：
Infected pilots introduced a more transmissible U.K. variant, whose spread was then accelerated through a network of “hostess bars” -- places both staff and patrons were reluctant to be associated with, making contact tracing more difficult.
哇噻，尤其 "reluctant to be associated with"，好。。。委婉啊
怎麼樣寫的平易近人一點？
Infected pilots carried a more transmissible U.K. variant, which then spread quickly through a network of "hostess bars". This also made contact tracing harder — because staff and customers didn't want to admit that they worked at or visited these bars.
稍微長一點，但是用的字都比較直白簡單。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
📌 強調嚴重性
這個失策跟破口，有多嚴重的後果？
Taiwan reported 267 new infections Wednesday, bringing the total over the past few days to 1,291 -- a small number in global terms but an astonishing one in a place that, before May 1, had posted just 1,132 cases during the entire pandemic.
The surge from zero to quadruple digits signals that undetected spread has been occurring for months, and concern is now growing that Taiwan will go the way of other cautionary tales, from the outbreak last year in Australia’s Victoria state that took a brutal three-month lockdown to quell, to Thailand’s ongoing surge driven by prison clusters.
"The surge from zero to quadruple"
這邊，寫的非常好，因為雖然不是真正的 rhyme，還是聽起來很近，所以有節奏感。
"Go the way of other cautionary tales" 又是一個文筆很好的寫法，就是「變得跟那些拿來警惕大家的故事一樣」的意思。
但是記得，別在聊天的時候用這些啊，對方會覺得你很奇怪。
這邊他們把最壞的可能性帶進來：就是台灣可能變得跟那些 cautionary tales 一樣。
這邊也讓讀者緊張起來。
但因為他們寫 "concern is now growing..."，又沒有說「誰的 concern」，所以應該要馬上帶具有可信度的 source 進來：
“If they have 300 diagnosed cases, they have 3,000 cases in the community -- they just don’t know it.” said Gregory Poland, a virologist and director of the Mayo Clinic’s Vaccine Research Group. “It’s going to require a hard lockdown, what’s called a circuit-breaker approach, and then getting the vaccine out as quickly as they can.”
這樣就比較有可信度了，也指出一個解決的可能性：lock down，然後疫苗。
但是...
★★★★★★★★★★★★
需要完整分析的同學請留言「看 Bloomberg學資深記者如何寫文章」。
我們每天都在看跟英文溝通/寫作有關的東西，如果想要透過這些「閱讀筆記」跟我們一起看，可在 FB 追蹤我們：https://www.facebook.com/presentality/
★★★★★★★★★★★★
Presentality系列文章:
📌 看貝佐斯致亞馬遜股東的最後一封信，學一些英文寫作小撇步
https://bit.ly/3xCN1cC
📌 英文演講實用的結構與技巧
https://bit.ly/2PHu3Ax
📌 在演講中的四種敘述角度
https://bit.ly/39tNUtv
📌 詩人Amanda Gorman的英文演講技巧
https://bit.ly/39sI3on
📌 從 Most Dangerous Place 文章，看經濟學人寫作邏輯
https://bit.ly/3htqJEs
📌 寫作的終極目標是「提供價值」
https://bit.ly/3yA3gYe
among開頭 在 [SC. ] 迷思：邏輯主語＝主詞？ - 看板GMAT 的推薦與評價
標記好讀版：https://dustingmat.blogspot.tw/2015/05/blog-post.html
同步刊載於：https://www.facebook.com/groups/A2GMAT/permalink/827727500614189/
讓我們用這個正確句子做開頭：
Among lower-paid workers, union members are less likely than nonunion
members to be enrolled in lower-end insurance plans that impose stricter
limits on medical services and require doctors to see more patients[,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
spending less time with each.]
請注意最後的句尾,Ving結構 ",spending less time with each."
以前我們的理解都是，句尾Ving的邏輯主語要嘛是前句主詞，
要嘛是全句整件事情，但是這個正確句子，怎麼看spending都抓的是doctors，
doctors既不是主詞，也不是整件事情，怎麼會這樣呢？
所以這裡要來釐清一下「邏輯主語」的概念。
要懂邏輯主語，就要先懂「修飾對象」。
句尾,Ving若不是當單純修飾句尾名詞的非限定形容詞片語（N, Ving...），
那麼就可以是三種作用的其中一種：1. 補充說明 2. 附帶結果 3. 連續動作。
但請記住，不論是哪一種作用，修飾對象都是「最靠近它的動作（事件）」。
而要找邏輯主語，就應該是先去看在句意上該句尾,Ving到底是修飾哪個動作/事件，
那個動作的發出者/或者是整件事情本身，就是邏輯主語。
像這個例題中，spending less time with each（在每個病人身上花的時間更少）
句意上是see more patients（看更多病人）的後果，
所以修飾對象是see這個動作，那邏輯主語就會是see的動作發出者doctors。
所以這裡的spending抓的合理邏輯主語是doctors。
請觀察以下正確句子中，句尾,Ving在句意上所修飾的都是靠近它的動作/事件
我把Ving結構用[ ]標示，句意上的修飾對象用( )標示。
Executives and federal officials say that (the use of crack and cocaine is
growing rapidly among workers) [, significantly compounding the effects of
drug and alcohol abuse, which already cost business more than $100 billion
a year.]
（事件當邏輯主語）
In 1791 Robert Carter III, one of the wealthiest plantation owners in
Virginia, stunned his family, friends, and neighbors by (filing a deed of
emancipation)[, setting free the more than 500 slaves who were legally
considered his property.]
（修飾動作filing的發出者Robert Carter III當邏輯主語）
(The recent surge in the number of airplane flights has clogged the nation's
air-traffic control system)[, leading to a 55-percent increase in delays at
airports and prompting fears among some officials that safety is being
compromised.]
（事件當邏輯主語）
Analysts blamed May's sluggish retail sales on unexciting merchandise as well
as the weather, (which was colder and wetter than usual in some regions)[,
slowing sales of barbecue grills and lawn furniture.]
（事件當邏輯主語）
For members of the seventeenth-century Ashanti nation in Africa,
(animal-hide shields with wooden frames were essential items of
military equipment)[, protecting warriors against enemy arrows and spears.]
（修飾對象是謂語格＋主詞補語 were essential items，
抓修飾對象的主語animal-hide shields）
(The cameras of the Voyager II spacecraft detected six small, previously
unseen moons circling Uranus)[, doubling to twelve the number of satellites
now known to orbit the distant planet.]
（事件當邏輯主語）
(Five fledgling sea eagles left their nests in western Scotland this summer)[,
bringing to 34 the number of wild birds successfully raised since transplants
from Norway began in 1975.]
（事件當邏輯主語）
In the fall of 1985, only 10 percent of the women entering college planned to
major in education, while (28 percent chose business)[, making it the most
popular major for women as well as for men.]
（事件當邏輯主語）
有沒有發現，儘管句子中有好幾個動作/事件，句尾,Ving在句意上的修飾對象
永遠是最靠近它的動作/事件。
所以請不要再傻傻地只會去往句子最前面找主詞囉。
你遇到句尾,Ving時，應該是要：
先喵一眼句意是不是修飾句尾單一名詞（一般非限定修飾用法）
再檢查是不是在句意上正確修飾最靠近它的動作/事件
如果發現Ving的主詞不能是整個事件
（像spending less time with each一定要是人才能做的）
那就再去找該動作/事件在句意上的發出者，檢查是否能夠對得上Ving。
至於句首的Ving分詞結構呢？
請記住，唯一的修飾對象，就是「主句整句話（也就是主句的謂語）」。
各位可以拿出正確句子集合對照一下囉。
Dustin
--
Dustin Deng
(一戰自修760，AWA 5.5)
Dustin/A2GMAT 全科機經班：
https://goo.gl/forms/MVTOkB4jjD
GMAT自修資源部落格：
https://dustingmat.blogspot.tw
A2GMAT線上解題、討論Group：
https://www.facebook.com/groups/A2GMAT/
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc), 來自: 118.168.218.51
※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/GMAT/M.1431447654.A.B81.html
※ 編輯: danyuchn (114.43.152.22), 05/15/2015 08:49:22
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