🖋Written at 3.15pm.
I'm now still on the plane.
I just simply woke up from a nap. Look around, ohh I'm on the plane. Everyone had lunch already but I needed to sleep.
There's this thing, suddenly had a strong hit on my emotion. I burst into tears in just one second. I cover my face with jacket/blanket/cap and letting all emotions out silently. I know it's painful to leave London, a place that I gain so much in just 10 months, a city that I dreamt of living in and it actually happened, the people here that shower me with love, passion and patience, the lecturers whom I never expected to be that close with actually being so deeply-connected with me, those friends from different backgrounds that I learned so much from, especially those who really let me feel their heart and soul, those incredible and unforgettable moments where I had all my 'first's in London, first-time studying abroad, first-time taking tube/train, first-time staying on my own, first-time traveling without my family, first-time doing groceries/ laundry/ cleaning/ cooking all on my own for almost a year, first-time dealing with all difficulties alone and get stronger each time, first-time healing my broken heart deep at night on my very own, first-time playing golf/ ice-skating/ giving talk to MBA students/ making JLSQnA videos/ attending events and networking sessions/ exploring London's art/ having the exciting vocal and advanced acting classes... ALL IN LONDON. And now, all these places and people are not at my walking distance anymore, which I used to be very proud telling people 'I'm just staying 15 mins of walking distance away' or 'it takes only 20 mins on tube to get there'.... I know it's not now, when I'm at the middle of the sky of no where, it's just too far now to go back, too far already even though I'm only on the plane for 3 hours+ and I can't imagine how far it is from London when I reach home, which is in 10 hours by plane from here.
Please allow me to express my gratitude again (if you made it to read till here). I cherish every single moment I spend with you, every single time I learn from you, every single experience we've gone through together. Thank you for everything you've done and said to me which you might think it's not gonna leave any important mark or impact in my life, I'll prove you wrong; In this amazing miraculous learning journey, every single bit of memory and experience will guide me throughout my life till I'm old or I'm gone. Everyone has ups and downs in their lives, so do I, but this learning journey in London has given me overflowing positive energy and power to conquer all the negative ones. If I have 100% of energy now, I'm sure 90% are positive and even though it might drop or rise when things happen in the near future, but I know exactly how this beautiful trip to London & genuine experiences I had with you are building up something in me and setting the bottom line of positive energy to as high as it can be. I have more and more positive incidents, people, memories & experiences that I can think of whenever I'm down or in urgent need of help, in other words, I know I'm now stronger, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Thank you. Thank you. And I also apologize if I have done anything inappropriate or inconsiderate to you unconsciously, I'm not perfect, thanks for still being here with me.
I hope this is not something negative to you (maybe it would hurt you if you see how did the crying actually went uncontrollable). I just simply wanted to write this down when my eyes are both blurred with tears, and I chocked on the pressing breathe, while fingers are shaking right at the moment I type... Luckily there's a divider in between me and the passenger who's sitting beside, or else he would be so worried/ mad/ curious/ annoyed by this girl who suddenly cried her heart out. I just feel like recording down this moment in written words where I finally could let my emotions explode and flow without me myself limiting or trying to stop them. Tears make me tired, it's been an hour, I guess it's time to continue sleeping again.
:) I'll miss you. Always. I'll remember you. All the time. Yes, I do.
Done writing at 4.15pm, still up in the sky. ✒️
