【被男客人逗笑記】
MY HUMOUROUS MALE CLIENTS
不知是不是物以類聚，人以群分的關係，原來我的客人也蠻幽默的。
事件一：
男客人：「老師！哇，你真人的臉比較小，在螢幕上看你的臉是比較大的！」
我抬頭看著男客人。
「你今天來，是幫我看相的嗎？」
•
事件二：
我：「X先生，之前我這樣對你，是因為⋯⋯」
男客人一臉殷勤的說：「沒事，師父！你不用解釋，我都明白！我見過很多高人，高人高人一等，所以性格上都是有點奇怪，有些怪癖的！」
欸，不對，這是對我的讚譽嗎？怎麼聽起來怪怪的？🤨
•
事件三：
我站在餐廳外，等老公結帳。
突然，一把聲音：「李老師！」
我轉過頭，欸，一家大小，是不熟悉的臉孔，應該是影片的觀眾吧！
帶著口罩都能被認出，對方真是好眼力。
我立刻現出「空姐式的微笑」，並打招呼。#反應快
男士告訴我，他很想請我到他家看風水。我點頭說，可以等報名表開放時報名。
之後⋯⋯
他眼睛就一直盯著我的雙眸看，再三的問：
「老師，你⋯⋯看得到，對嗎？」
我心裡的OS：我今天戴著隱形眼鏡，看你們一家人的樣子很清楚。我們第一次見面，我沒有認錯，我視力沒問題啊～
所以我很自然的點頭：「看到啊！」
男士保持著禮貌的距離，頭繼續往前，目不轉睛的研究著我的眼睛，喃喃自語：「我看老師的眼睛，是看得到的。」
然後，彷彿得到答案後，男士臉上才露出滿意的笑容。
看著他的表情，心裡覺得有點莫名其妙。
我只是因為以前用錯眼霜，眼袋那裡長了很多油泡而已，眼睛沒什麼問題啊～
告別後，我站在電動扶梯上，腦袋好像被五雷轟頂似後，我才猛然驚覺⋯⋯🤯
原來他剛才是在問，我到底是不是開了天眼，能否看到無形的朋友！
————————————————
I wonder whether it’s because of the theory “Birds of the same feather flock together”. I realise a number of my clients do have a funny bone in them.
Incident 1:
Male client, “Wow, Teacher! Your face in person is smaller! Your face look bigger on screen!”
I raised my head to look at him.
Me, “Are you here today to do face reading for me?”
•
Incident 2:
Me, “Mr X, I treated you that way earlier on, because ⋯”
Male client earnestly chirped, “No worries, Master! You don’t have to explain. I totally understand. I have met many expert masters. Being superior experts, they are all eccentric in their own ways and all have some quirks!”
Erm, is this a compliment for me? Why does it sound weird somehow? 🤨
•
Incident 3:
I was waiting outside the restaurant for the husband to settle the bill.
Out of the blue, I heard a voice, “Teacher Lee!”
I turned my head around and saw a family of unfamiliar faces. They must be viewers of my videos, I thought.
I was mildly surprised to be recognized with my mask on. They sure have good eyesight.
I flashed my signature SQ smile at them and greeted them. #quickreaction
The man of the family told me that he wished to invite me to his home for a Feng Shui audit. I nodded my head and told him to register when my forms opened.
And then…
His eyes fixated on mine, and asked repeatedly,
“Teacher, you…can see, right?”
The OS inside my mind started racing. I was wearing contact lenses and I had no problem seeing your faces. I was pretty sure that today was our first time meeting. There was no issue with my eyes.
So I naturally nodded my head and replied, “Yes, I can see!”
He kept a polite distance but his head inched forward a teeny bit, with his eyes relentlessly exploring mine.
He then mumbled, “I see that Teacher’s eyes are able to see.”
His face began to smile, as if his exploration had gotten him a satisfactory answer.
Looking at his expression, I felt baffled.
I only had many milia seeds under my eyes due to using the wrong eye cream in my youth, but apart from that, my eyes are perfectly fine.
After bidding farewell, as I took the escalator, my brain lit up as if it was struck by the five thunders.
I suddenly realised…
The male viewer was asking if I had the clairvoyant eye and could see the invisible!
eye contact隱形眼鏡 在 [大哭] 隱形眼鏡的英文- 看板StupidClown 的推薦與評價
笨板首PO
對於自己英文不好有自知之明
平常也會避免用英文跟外國人聊天（都用中文XD）
學生時曾住過一間國際生宿舍，有點老舊是有公共衛浴那種
某天晚上回宿舍後就到浴室旁的鏡子跟洗手區準備拔隱形眼鏡
此時有個東南亞女生也到洗手台邊跟我聊起來
她問：What are these?（指隱形眼鏡）
我心想難道東南亞沒有隱形眼鏡嗎??
隱形眼鏡的英文怎麼說??
記得以前英文老師強調過接觸到眼睛所以有contact這詞
我回：Um...eye contact?
只見她露出東南亞人問號，我知道我應該說錯了
但我也不知道怎麼解釋只好跟她亂聊陪笑扯開話題where are you from
覺得太糗了回房間後趕緊查查隱形眼鏡的英文到底是什麼
原來是contact lens啊 果然有contact啊
另外eye contact是眼神接觸嗚嗚嗚
=============================
（補個今天的）
上個月美國Kiehl's有網購8折優惠
興高采烈的下訂但是限制頗多最後用Paypal付款（第一次用）
等了好久貨沒來問了Kiehl's的客服才知道訂單有問題沒成立
（那天有收到確認信但是沒細究英文內容所以...）
就算了但Paypal有先從卡裡扣一筆款項，雖然還沒支付但沒還回也不能用
拖到今天還是沒回來想說要處理一下就寫封信給客服
不知道為什麼就覺得要用英文寫信
那時寫給美國Kiehl's客服也是用英文，認為關鍵字有出現就好，文法那些不重要
反正就當我是英文很差的外國人嘛天高皇帝遠的XD
所以今天也很隨興的下筆了
結果Paypal回覆是中文嗚嗚嗚
原來台灣有分公司啊...好吧我是英文很差的台灣人
被看穿的感覺好糗嗚嗚嗚
想發集氣文或問卷文的，請將板規八每一個字都看清楚，再有違反就劣退+水桶了!
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