I've never really thought about death. And I don't want to think about it. I hope she IS in heaven, tickling God in an endless fit of laughter. I don't know. But I DO know that her passing left a big void. She left a big void because she was still relevant, and she was still very important and integral in a world of comedy that only a handful have the ability to truly stand out in. But more so, she left a void because she touches me. I could recognize her pain. Many of us do.
Over the years, Joan taught me something very important - that through humor, we could get through any adversity. I've begun to realize that it's such an important tool to have, to get through this thing called 'life'. She inspired me. And she continues to do so. Maybe that's why I feel with her death, I have suffered a colossal loss.
When I was young, I didn't have that many idols; I only wanted to sing as great as Streisand, and I wanted to have a personality and tenacity that rivaled Miss Rivers'. She was unapologetic about being who she was. She taught me that I needed to be, too. And to this day, no one comes close to holding a candle to how she inspires me, and a million others.
I'm still sad. It was all just so sudden. It was all just too soon. There was so much more to come, too.
Thankfully we have a plethora of videos and movies of Joan, through which her legacy lives on. I'm thankful to live in an age where I got to see her host her own talk show, and continue to manifest her own special brand of fabulousness through Fashion Police and web series like In Bed With Joan.
And boy, what she has done for us gays. We owe her such a mountain of gratitude.
We are blessed to be touched by such an amazing comedian, and a truly amazing human being. Truly. <3
