【一切的失敗和不足,都是最美好的安排】
All Failures & Lacks Are The Best Things to Happen to Us
三個月前,收到來自台灣客人的這封電郵時,開心和心酸交織著在心裡。
開心,因為這是一年前通過Zoom視訊的客人。他居然在我們看八字的一週年,特地寫了封感謝函給我,真有心!
心酸,因為他寫在電郵裡的低落心情,我完完全全明白。
他的經歷,是我的曾經。我當初也是很難,很久才能走出來。
有一回,我為一位芳華正茂的女子批八字時,她很用心的寫下我說的話。
論寫筆記的完整,她是我客人當中的佼佼者。
寫到一半,我注意到她的右手開始微微顫抖。我以為是空調的風太大了,冷到她,便問她要不要披巾。
她說,是她的焦慮症發作。
「我沒在兇你,也沒對你嚴厲,你為何突然焦慮?」
「我.....打從今年疫情打亂了我的計畫,我就一直很焦慮。我覺得我很沒用,同學們都前進了,只有我現在什麼都不是,亂糟糟的。我就一直很緊張,萬一我一直都是這樣,怎麼辦?」
說著,她眼眶一紅,眼淚像斷了線的珍珠鏈似的灑下來。
我的媽呀!是我的樣子長得很催淚,還是我的聲音聽起來很虐心?怎麼客人,不分男女老少,東南西北,看到我好像都很容易哭?
我抓起一張紙巾遞給她。
「所以,我不是來了嗎?你來找我,就是要問個明路,而你很幸運那麼快就看到我啦!你看你的筆記寫得多工整,多齊全。我很多客人都不如你啊!我今天的工作,就是來給你答案的。我沒有把握,也不會接你這份差事。我接了,就代表還可以補救。你照著我的指示去做,一定柳暗花明又一村。」
又另一回,一位四十多歲的媽媽請我看兒子的八字。
我在批著八字時,這位媽媽點頭認同,然後就聲淚俱下。
我轉頭看著她沈默不語的先生。我說錯了什麼嗎?太太哭成淚人,你怎麼連紙巾也不拿給她啊?
「我是個沒有用的母親,很不稱職的母親。我沒有辦法教好孩子。我很愛他,可是很多時候我都不知道要怎麼做,我就會對他發脾氣,說狠話,過後我又後悔。我忍下來,可是後來還是會一樣!」
我沒打斷她,等她的哭聲逐漸小聲後,我柔柔的說:「我來啦!我坐在你前面了。你已經看到我,就是有辦法了。你知道你自己不行,會去找辦法,就代表你願意去學習做個好媽媽啊!」
我把紙巾遞給她,再說:「不要哭了,要不然,別人看了以為是我不要借你錢,才把你弄得那麼傷心。」
曾幾何時,我們都會以外在所擁有的,來定義自己的人生是否值得自己喜歡。
從原生家庭、樣貌、健康、身型、智力、天賦等,到後來的學歷、友情、事業、財富、婚姻、子女......
哪一樣沒有,而偏偏是我們最想要的,我們就會認定自己失敗的一塌糊塗。
我認為這就是普通教育最大的問題所在。父母老師都是這樣把我們「分門別類」的。值不值得父母疼愛或向親朋戚友炫耀,也離不開那幾點。
久而久之,我們也只會以「成功」來定義自己是否有價值,甚至來衡量自己是否有活下去的勇氣。
我比較喜歡佛法的定義。我們每個人都是一尊佛,六道眾生皆有佛性,只因一時的迷,因此墮落在苦輪不停的輪迴。
可正因為我們有佛性,我們都有無窮無盡的可能。每個人的內在有著很強大的力量,等著我們遇到明師後,去發掘、探索和了解。
而這天生俱來的力量,就是你改命立命的資本。
如果人生順風順水,我們永遠不會想要出離,誤把人間當極樂,所以一定要有苦,我們才會意識到,為什麼我們會在這鬼地方?要怎麼樣才可以離開這鬼地方去到極樂?
反過來,我們都應該感恩自己遇到的挫折,因為從這些苦中,我們才能生出智慧。
沒有一個八字是完美的。一切的失敗和不足,都是最美好的安排,如此你才會有出離心,返本歸源。
_______________________
3 months ago, when I received this email from my Taiwan client, there was this feeling of bittersweetness.
I was happy because this was the client I did a Zoom consultation last June. He sent me this email on the one-year anniversary date of our Zoom call, to express his gratitude. How sweet!
On the other hand, I could relate to the emotional turmoil he felt at that point in his life.
His experience was my past. It also took me a very long time to walk out from my gloominess.
Once, I analysed the Bazi of a very young lady. She was meticulously jotting down notes as I spoke.
Her detailed note-taking skills easily took the top place among my clients.
Halfway through, I noticed her right hand was trembling slightly. I thought it was due to the cold draft from the air conditioning, so I asked if she needed a shawl.
She replied that it was her anxiety disorder acting up.
“I was not fierce or strict with you. What caused your sudden anxiety?”
“I…ever since the pandemic disrupted my plans, I have been in this state of anxiety. I kept feeling useless. All my classmates are progressing expect me. I have nothing to show for and my life is in a mess. I am very anxious. What if I continue to be like this? What am I going to do?”
As she spoke, her eyes turned red and tears started rolling down like a broken strand of pearl necklace scattering onto the ground.
Oh dear! I am beginning to wonder if I have a tear-jerker face or a heart-tormenting voice. Why do my clients, regardless of gender and age, North South or East West, seem to cry easily when they see me?
I grabbed a piece of tissue and handed it to her.
“Ain’t I here already? You came to me for a roadmap and you are very lucky to see me so soon. Look at how precise and neat your notes are! Many of my clients aren’t even on par with you. My job today is to give you answers. If I didn’t have the confidence, I would not have taken up your request. Now that I did, that means there is still hope. If you follow my instructions, you will see things looking up very soon.”
On another occasion, a mother in her forties came to me for her son’s Bazi consultation.
As I was analysing, the mother nodded her head in agreement. The next thing I know, she started weeping loudly.
I turned to look at her husband, who had been silent all along. Did I say something wrong? And hello, your wife was crying. Why weren’t you gentleman enough to give her a tissue paper?
“I am a useless mother. I am incompetent. I do not know how to teach my son well. I love my son very much. But many times, I do not know what to do and thus I flare up at him and speak harshly. I always regret afterwards. I tried enduring but it still ends badly!”
I did not interrupt her and waited for her cries to soften, before speaking gently, “I’m here! I’m already sitting in front of you. You are looking at me now and that means help is here. You know that you are incompetent, so you went looking for solutions. That means you are willing to learn how to be a better mother!”
I handed a piece of tissue and said, “Don’t cry anymore, otherwise, other patrons will think that it’s because I refuse to lend you money.”
Since young, we have been using external possessions to define whether our lives are worth liking.
The family we are born into, our looks, health, body shape, intellect, talents, and then we move on to compare our academics, friendships, career, wealth, marriage and children.
If we are lacking in the area we covet most, we grade our lives as a failure.
I think this is the biggest problem in societal education. Our parents and teachers categorized us that way. Whether we as children are worthy of their love and bragging, depends on the few points above too.
Thus over time, we can only use the term “success” to determine whether we are of value, for some people, whether they should live on to take their next breath.
I very much prefer the definition in Buddhism. We are all Buddhas. Each and every sentient being in the six realms has a Buddha nature in them. But they got lost momentarily and fell into the endless wheel of reincarnation.
Yet, because of our Buddha nature, we have an unlimited source of potential. Every one of us has a very powerful strength inside us. It is just waiting for us to meet an accomplished teacher, so that we have the tools to explore and understand it:
And this strength that we are born with is the capital for us to transform and establish our own destiny.
If life is smooth-sailing, we would never want to leave and would mistake this mortal realm for Pureland. Thus, we all need sufferings, to realise that we should break out of this hell of a place. There has to be a better world somewhere. So how we get there?
We should, in fact, be grateful for all the setbacks and failures we have. Because it is from these sufferings, our wisdom arise:
No single Bazi is perfect. Every failure and lack we experience is the best arrangement for us, so that the heart of renunciation will arise in us and we will return to where we came from.
同時也有1部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過4萬的網紅李根興 Edwin商舖創業及投資分享,也在其Youtube影片中提到,哈佛知識分享: 做生意,七大困難選擇! 七條策略問題 Seven Strategy Question《第二: 核心價值 - 公司股東、顧客、員工,誰優先? 》 Business is about making tough choices. 上一集就講咗 Who is your primary ...
if should萬一 在 CheckCheckCin Facebook 的最佳貼文
【妊娠糖尿】讓孕婦聞風喪膽的飲糖水測試
⭐禁食一晚後空腹飲用高濃度葡萄糖水再乾等兩小時
⭐測試孕婦能否分泌足夠胰島素調節糖分
#星期三CheckCheckMail
妊娠糖尿怎麼辦?
孕媽媽:「我有個很瘦的朋友最近懷孕驗出妊娠糖尿,我都快將做飲糖水測試,萬一有妊娠糖尿病怎麼辦?」
CheckCheckCin:不論肥瘦的孕婦都有機會患上妊娠糖尿,是指懷孕前沒有糖尿病,但在懷孕時出現高血糖現象;因胰臟未能提供足夠的胰島素分泌,影響了血糖的調節,懷孕期間過度增重是高危因素之一,而高齡產婦、家族有糖尿病史、無運動習慣的孕婦患上妊娠糖尿的機會亦較高。一旦患上妊娠糖尿,有可能令胎兒過大、增加畸胎、早產等風險,所以要乖乖戒口以及做適量運動控制血糖水平。中醫角度看糖尿病屬於消渴病,妊娠糖尿成因多為肺、脾、腎三臟虧虛以致陰虛內熱,治療以益氣養陰為主,可以適量食用沙參、玉竹、百合、麥冬、枸杞子等食材。僅記少食多餐、定時定量,同時控制澱粉質的吸收,多吃粗糧及高纖食物,少吃煎炸油膩食物及甜品,切勿胡亂進補。
留言或按讚👍🏻支持一下我們吧!❤️ 歡迎 Follow 我們獲得更多養生資訊。
Managing gestational diabetes
“A friend of mine is very slim, but recently, she was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I’ll be undertaking the Glucose Tolerance Test soon. What should I do if I’m diagnosed with it too?”
CheckCheckCin: Whether you are plump or skinny, all pregnant women have an equal chance of developing gestational diabetes. Gestational diabetes refers to a condition in which the blood sugar levels of a person, who previously was not diabetic, become high during pregnancy.
This happens because the pancreas does not produce sufficient insulin for the body. Hence, it is unable to regulate the sugar levels effectively, and excessive weight gain can be dangerous during pregnancy. Older pregnant women, those with a family history of diabetes, and women who seldom exercise have higher chances of having gestational diabetes.
Once a pregnant mom develops this condition, her fetus might become larger, teratogenesis (congenital malformations in an embryo or fetus) might happen, and premature birth might occur. Hence, it is important to watch your diet and exercise regularly to control your blood sugar levels.
From Chinese medicine perspective, gestational diabetes is mainly caused by the deficiencies in the lungs, spleen, and kidneys. These deficiencies would then cause the deficiency of the yin and the accumulation of heat in the body.
To improve the body condition, we need to strengthen the qi and nourish the yin. Consume an appropriate amount of glehnia root, polygonatum odoratum, lily bulb, radix ophiopogonis, and wolfberry. Remember to eat more meals but in smaller quantities and regularly. Do control the intake of carbohydrates as well. Consume more coarse grains and foods that are high in fibers, cut down on fried and oily foods and desserts, and avoid taking nourishing products unnecessarily.
Comment below or like 👍🏻 this post to support us. ❤️ Follow us for more healthy living tips.
#女 #孕婦 #我枯燥 #陰虛
if should萬一 在 PanSci 科學新聞網 Facebook 的最讚貼文
【#科學腦洞時間】上班好累……不想洗澡……
補習好累……不想洗澡……
沒有出門……不想洗澡……(夠了!)
如果真的可以一直不洗澡,到底會發生什麼事呢?
_
🤢 髒兮兮的身體,讓人一聞就想跑!
對,不洗澡會臭。但為什麼會臭呢?
這是因為我們身上的皮屑中帶有一些蛋白質和糖分,這些成分呢,是細菌超~級愛的營養來源。
而細菌分解這些蛋白質的時候,便會產生臭味。
當你的皮屑層層疊疊、細菌層層疊疊......
啊~一座天然的加強版薰「臭」機,就這樣誕生了!
_
🩹 不好好洗澡,小心長痘痘!
如果太久沒有清潔身體,皮屑與油脂堆積,可能會造成毛囊發炎,讓你痘痘齊發。
除此之外,鼠蹊部附近的隱私部位如果一直沒有清潔,也容易孳生細菌,造成念珠菌感染等等情形。
萬一身上有這麼多細菌,你又不小心受傷,讓細菌跑進傷口之中,那後果就會十分悲慘了QQ
_
🚿But,過度清潔身體也不好喔!
不洗澡聽起來也太可怕!那我一天洗三次行不行?嗯......請各位看官先冷靜一下。
每次洗澡時,我們使用的清潔用品會帶走皮膚上的油脂和益菌,如果清洗次數過多,可能會使得皮膚乾燥龜裂,容易造成感染。
蛤,那我到底要多少澡比較好?
根據美國哥倫比亞大學護理學院的傳染病專家──拉爾森 (Elaine Larson) 的說法,一週只需要洗 1~2 次就足夠了。(你484覺得很開心)
不過,因應每個地方的氣候和個人衛生習慣不同,還是有很多彈性空間的喔!
S 編就好奇問問,你們洗澡的頻率是......?
_
參考資料:
《What Would Happen If You Never Showered?》Life Noggin
https://youtu.be/cqXzmiAvav0
《You Asked: How Often Should I Shower?》Time
https://time.com/4259559/shower-soap-hygiene/?xid=tcoshare
_
延伸閱讀:
殷墟考古大發現!走進上古商王的洗澡間,青銅熱水器、去角質小道具
https://pansci.asia/archives/189310
聽聲音(十一):為什麼你在洗澡的時候唱歌比較好聽?
https://pansci.asia/archives/75138
______________
✈ 你也擁有飛行夢嗎?
只要你是年滿 18 歲的在校學生,都有機會參加「我的青航時代 ── 2021航發會 X 暑期航空營」哦!
報名截止倒數中,快別錯過這個大好機會:https://lihi1.com/H5hA9
if should萬一 在 李根興 Edwin商舖創業及投資分享 Youtube 的最讚貼文
哈佛知識分享: 做生意,七大困難選擇!
七條策略問題 Seven Strategy Question《第二: 核心價值 - 公司股東、顧客、員工,誰優先? 》
Business is about making tough choices. 上一集就講咗 Who is your primary customer? 誰是你首要顧客?
今集我會同你探討第二個策略問題: 核心價值 - 你是把公司股東、顧客、或員工利益行先?
How do your core values prioritize company shareholders, emoloyees and cuatomers? Who come FIRST? 當有衝突,邊個利益行先?
根據哈佛教授 Bob Simons 呢本書 Seven Strategy Questions,冇話對唔與錯。 但搞唔清楚就一定錯。三選其一,你揀邊個行先?
(1) 公司/股東 (Shareholders) 行先? 李嘉誠就最出名股東行先。佢退休前最後一次主持長和系股東會,被問及一個出色的企業家最重要是什麼,李嘉誠話:「最重要忠誠為股東爭取正常收入,為股東設想,投資有前途項目,派息要合理,將股東利益排第一。」 我諗你咁多年都聽唔少佢講話股東利益排第一。 因此,好多人都話同長實做生意唔簡單, 甚至乎有時畀人感覺 (no offense) 賺到盡, 一蚊一毫都同你計,why? 因為股東利益行先,佢又啱喎。 但做善事? 李嘉誠本人捐幾十幾百億佢就好疏爽,因為唔關股東事。
Core value (核心價值)係股東行先,即係公司利益行先,成日話為公司著想,即係等於話為公司股東著想。 因此好多上市公司, 甚至乎初創企業,都會有 employee stock option,希望員工同公司利益一致。 希望佢哋由朝到晚都諗住 Creating Shareholder Value,為公司 = 為自己增值。
根據呢本 Seven Strategy Questions, AIG (AIA 母公司)、Citigroup、Pfizer 輝瑞藥業都係出名 shareholders 行先的公司,也是好成功的公司。做生意就係先講賺錢, 天公地道。
(2) 有啲公司嘅 Core Value 就係顧客行先 Customers First。例如,Johnson & Johnson 強生,係1943年就 craft 咗呢個 Credo (教義) :
We believe our first responsibility is to the patients, doctors and nurses, to mothers and fathers and all others who use our products and services....
We are responsible to our employees who work with us throughout the world.
We are responsible to the communities in which we live and work and to the world community as well....
Our final responsibility is to our stockholders. Business must make a sound profit....
When we operate according to these principles, the stockholders should realize a fair return.
Johnson & Johnson 的核心價值 core value 係顧客行先、員工第二、community 社群圈子第三、股東利益排第四。
我相信好多公司都係「話」顧客行先, 但有冇寫到好似強生咁清楚呢? 當然我相信更加多嘅公司,就係口講一套,做另一套。 口講顧客行先, 實質上遇到任何金錢利益,就縮數,公司/股東利益行先。
例如你開間茶餐廳, 有啲食材就嚟到期, 喺掉同唔掉的邊緣, 又唔會食死人,但又未必係最靚料,咁你會點? Be honest! ..... 公司賺少啲都揼?你就係顧客行先。 側側膊,唔多覺照用,慳番啲成本? 你就係公司行先。 無話對與錯, 最緊要搞清楚。你知啫,但係全公司同事知唔知? 能唔能夠全部人都言行一致?
(3) 如果我問你,有 covid 肺炎前, 某航空公司嘅股價喺呢道, 現在估計應該係邊? 如果我同你講仲高過肺炎之前,你會唔會信? 肺炎前係每股USD57,依家? USD62,高咗近10%。 佢就係美國西南航空 Southwest Airlines, 記住呢個係全球最多人染病嘅美國喎,有排都未走出疫情。佢就係出晒名 Employee First 嘅公司。Yes! The airline puts employee happiness above customet satisfaction. 員工開心,更重要過顧客滿意程度。
Southwest ranks employees first, customers second, and shareholders third. 員工第一、顧客第二、公司/股東第三。
你有無坐過Southwest Airlines 嘅飛機? 搭飛機通常最悶嘅就係一開始嘅 Safety Annoucement 安全提示。 但如果喺 Southwest? 你會聽有人講 jokes .... 有人 Rap!
呢啲講笑、唱歌、跳舞冇得迫。 員工開心,佢哋就自然會做。 你上網睇到會更多更多其他搞笑例子。
Southwest company blog says: "We believe that if we treat our employees right, they will treat our customers right, and in turn that results in increased business and profits that make everyone happy."
Employees come first 嘅理念,令到Southwest Airlines 每兩秒鐘就收到一份 job application, 每100個人申請,只有兩個人能夠成功獲取錄。2% acceptance rate, 好多傳媒都話去 Southwest 返工仲難過入哈佛! 有好嘅人才,就自然有好嘅服務,有好嘅業績。 亦都因為咁Southest Airlines 一間公司嘅市值,曾經係等於美國所有其他航空公司(American Airlines, Delta, Continental, UA etc)加埋嘅總和,都唔夠佢一間公司值錢。
你唔好以為Southwest Airlines 淨係員工開心喎,根據權威市場研究公司 J.D.Power 2020 survey,Southwest Airlines 嘅顧客滿意程度 customer satisfaction 都係全美國最高,both long and short-haul. 長短途都贏曬!
但老實說,坊間有幾多間公司會大聲講話員工行先? 間間都話顧客行先? 但諗真啲,係唔係真呢? 轉一轉個優先次序, 會唔會有另一番景象呢?
公司/股東、顧客、員工, 係你嘅核心價值邊個行先? 冇話對與錯。 但最緊要搞清楚, 萬一互相有衝突,你會揀邊個先? 係咪全公司上下同事、顧客、股東、合作伙伴都知? 你是否言行一致?
因為錄呢條片,我都問咗自己好多問題。我自己盛滙商舖基金係邊個行先? 我老婆答案即刻答我: 「你梗係員工行先啦! 因為嗰次點點點.... 」
Yes. 我自己商舖基金係員工行先 Employee First 嘅公司。因為我成日都同同事們講:
「錢賺唔晒,最緊要大家 happy!」...
「唔鐘意賺嗰個人嘅錢,就冇賺!」...
「我哋人少少,賺多啲,遠遠好過人多多,個個賺少啲! 大家都想養家活兒,搵到、洗到、身體好!」
我相信只要能夠建立一個好嘅 culture 企業文化, 大家同事們自然會作出個啱嘅決定,買舖賣舖,有條好嘅 team,真係好難輸。 因此,老實說,如果有邊個客唔妥我嘅員工,我通常都會「唔妥」返佢 - 當然呢個要建基於你哋員工嘅信任。
To me ....「顧客不是永遠對的!」 選擇適當的顧客,長遠回報會更佳, 對你選擇嗰班顧客回報都會更佳。我係道都好幸運地同你講,我商舖基金由2016年成立以來加入的同事們,公司基本上係冇人走過。Turnover 近乎零! 你對人點,人就自然對你點! As said ... 錢賺唔晒,最緊要大家同事們Happy! 人客/公司自然賺錢。
你呢? Who comes first in your business? Company/Shareholders, Customers, Employees? 你公司嘅核心價值,邊個是優先? 無論你揀邊個都好,係唔會同你選擇嘅Primary Customers (首要顧客)有衝突, 只會更加強化你服務佢哋嘅能力及提升你競爭力。 最緊要搞清楚 WHO COMES FIRST!
有興趣聽多啲,就來我五月份星期六嘅早餐會啦! 呢兩集同你講咗 Who is your primary customer? 同埋 Who comes first? Company/Shareholders, Customers or Employees?
下一集同你,What Critical Performance Variables Are You Tracking? 追數? 你應該最追幾條數?
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五月份早餐分享會 Topic: The Seven Strategy Questions by Harvard Professor Robert Simons
哈佛分享: 七條做生意策略問題
2012至2014間,我連續三年在哈佛上了 Robert Simons 的堂,畢生受用。我自己成間商舖基金公司都是建基於這本書。
有興趣 sign up la ? 每次限四位 (包括我)。 人多傾唔到計。
5月1日或8日或15日,星期六早上9時開始,約三小時。地點中環。
對象: 管理層/生意經營者/創業者,連我限4位。
有興趣參加的話,請 whatsapp 你的名片給 Suki (我助手) (+852) 5566 1335。
大家交流做生意最重要的幾條問題。
我唔係靠呢行搵食,免費,我請食早餐 ? Be friends ..... 有機會到時見你。李根興 Edwin
www.edwinlee.com.hk
聯絡李根興 whatsapp (+852) 90361143
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購買李根興的【李根興的生意哲學】(最新2020年6月出版 - 定價$198),或【買舖 要買得 PRO】(定價$198),連親筆簽名,可 whatsapp Suki (+852) 5566 1335。各大書局也有售。
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