整理資料發現近兩年前去某國際研討會分享 #手天使 心得時的講稿,當時把我知道的議題面向都寫進去了。貼上來給有興趣的朋友。
[[slide page 1]]
Thank you for attending this part.
I'm from Hand Angel, a non-profit organization of Taiwan.
The title of my presentation is "As a sex worker and a sex volunteer",
since I'm both a sex worker, and also attending Hand Angel as a sex volunteer.
[[slide page 2]]
Allow me to introduce my organization more,
though you may know some from what Vincent has said in the morning.
Our main tenet is sexual rights to people with disabilities.
[[slide page 3]]
This includes not only orgasm, but also the right to control one's sexuality with autonomy and without discrimination.
People know us usually because we provide limited sexual service for servere physical or visual disabilities, including females.
Hand Angel is not a registered organization in Taiwan,
since we literally provide sexual service, which is considered against public order and morals.
However, we are still able to initiative our idea on the table
because our service are free, which means we actually do not violate any law.
[[slide page 4]]
In Taiwan, the definition of "sexual transaction" includes obscene acts in exchange for monetary,
which means it's considered transactional sex even there is no sexual intercourse.
And since transactional sex is technically illegal in Taiwan,
there's no legal way for us to charge anything by providing any service which may be considered obscenity.
This is much different in other countries.
In Japan, the law prohibiting sexual transaction only applies to intercourse between one male and one female. That's why White Hands and NOIR are able to provide paid handjob. The other reason is that they seem do not locate their service as sexual transaction. We can talk about this difference later.
And in Hong Kong, there's some way for sex workers not to be punished, which is called "one-woman brothel". So the difficulty for people with disabilities to satisfy their sexual desire would be different.
I, who has been a sex worker for years -- under the table, of course -- was invited to join Hand Angel at its very beginning.
[[slide page 5]]
People keep asking me that how a sex worker would think about a free sexual service.
But before that question, I think it's more important for us to know the difference other than money.
What's the difference between a classical transactional sex and our service?
As a sex worker, I hope my customers will come back to me more and more, as many times as they can pay.
But as a member of Hand Angel, I hope the servees would not need us anymore.
In fact, I hope they don't have to come to us at the very beginning.
The reason why people with disabilities may need sexual service, is the absence of sexual resource, the resource to fulfill one's sexual desire.
This is just like other issues of disabilities.
[[slide page 6]]
Just providing a service would not resolve the structural problem.
For example, if you give food to the poor without changing their situation, you would end up finding out that they're still poor.
Now change the "food" to "sex".
If we just give our own sex to those who barely have sexual resource, we'll end up exploiting ourselves, and their bad situation still remains.
The problem is, disabled people are considered abnormal, and they have been treated as no unnecessary needs.
But what is necessary for a person to live her own life instead of just survive?
In our issue, disabled people are usually considered asexual, and seldom sexy. That's the stigma we're going to break down.
[[slide page 7]]
There are some textures talking about disabled people in love and having sex, such as "Scarlet Road", "Sex on Wheels", and "The Sessions".
However, the narrative are usually based on ableism.
Viewers usually focus on how can the service provider "bear" to have sex with disabled people, instead of seeing the obstacles disabled people encounter.
[[slide page 8]]
A feminist has said that the relationship a disabled person has is considered depending on the compassion of the other person. People think their sexuality is disgusting and only saints are able to tolerate it.
So we can see the problem is not only physical obstacles, but also how we think about intimate relationship a disabled person deserves.
[[slide page 9]]
Does Hand Angel care about intimate issue? The answer is yes.
In our service, we provide not only sexual service. Our target is not the physical orgasm, but the infinite opportunity of their own lives.
Here are two examples.
[[slide page 10]] Little Prince
Since this servee can sense nothing below his waist, a classical handjob would be meaningless.
Fortunately, we have a BDSM queen in our team.
She thought of techniques in SM to check how pain it is to the slave, and use the same trick to check how the servee's body can feel.
I have to emphasize: that was not a medical treatment, that was about communication with each other.
They were talking about the feeling of two people, instead of the body of one person.
The whole process relies on the intimacy between the sex volunteer and the servee.
[[slide page 11]] ND
"Strolling" for him was from his room to the front door of his home.
Uh, I'm not talking about he lives in a big house.
Though using an electric wheelchair, ND's finger was not powerful enough to control the device for more than 10 minutes,
which means going out alone is not possible for him.
But after applying for our service, he trained himself to "walk" longer.
Even after our service, we were told that he kept trying to leave home and meet other friends.
Another servee has tried other entertainment such as snorkeling and paragliding after our service.
He's having a more plentiful life than before, and even than me.
[[slide page 12]]
In these cases, we can see that:
First, physical orgasm is not the only purpose of a sexual service.
Secondly, libido, or desire for sexual activity, is a strong energy for people to live.
There's a continuing question for us: People can still live without sex.
[[slide page 13]]
What's so important for disabled people to have sex?
Well, I think sex is probably not important for those who can have sex easily, but the impossibility to sex or intimacy may deny the self-esteem of a person.
Sex is an important reason for most people to make friends. So on the other hand, once a person is forced to abandon the opportunity to have sex, she (or he) might lose the energy to social activities. And that's not good for mental health.
[[slide page 14]] The 3 aspects we care about
First, physical orgasm. This is not only about sex organ, but also those come from your erogenous zone.
The problem is not only that people don't know how to interact with disabled people during sex,
but also that people do not want to know how the sex would be for people with different disabilities.
Second, intimacy. The right to have a satisfying date is also important.
Let's imagine, what if a couple of lovers want to kiss each other while seeing movie in a theater, but one of them is in wheelchair so their positions are actually separated?
Third, social integration. Many people with disabilities don't have enough opportunity to make close friends. One of the reasons is that other people usually don't know how to react with disabled people. Therefore, education is important.
[[slide page 15]] Gender Equity Education
In Taiwan, gender equity education comprises 3 parts: affective education, sex education, and gay and lesbian education.
Though I also want to introduce the situation that the conservative group is raising a proposal of referendum to forbid gay and lesbian education, but that's not the issue here so I have to skip that. I hope people who are interested in Taiwan may notice that same-sex marriage is not the only issue about gender equity.
Uh, back to disability rights movement.
As an organization which cares both gender issue and disability issue, we note that even open-minded gender activists may ignore the existence of people with disabilities.
Gender equity education is never designed or applied in the point of view of the disabled.
For example, there are some materials for teaching safe sex, but people seldom think about how a blind person should know before she (or he) masturbate or have sex.
We have a servee who once masturbated in the bathroom of his home, but couldn't clean up since not knowing where his semen reached during ejaculation, and therefore shocked his sister who later used the bathroom.
And another friend bought an artificial vagina in a sex toy store. But he didn't even know he have to erect before insertion.
[[slide page 16]] female servee
People caring about gender equity keep question us: why is there only one female servee during these 5 years after our foundation?
Well, we think the answer is complicated. But the most important one is: how difficult for a female to "confess" she has sexual desire?
We all know about "slut shaming", and those terms to humiliate females by their sexuality -- such as "bitch" and "whore".
It's difficult even for able-bodied females to state their sex experience and preference.
Then it's even more difficult for disabled females to think what she herself wants.
But before sexual activity with other people, disabled females don't even know their body well.
The only female servee we have, told us she has never seen or touched her own vagina.
So we also hosted some conferences and speeches to discuss about such situation of disabled females.
[[slide page 17]] Androcentrism
This is an important issue for us. And I think it's important for those who care about sexual health of disabled people.
Though there are some textures talking about sexual desires of disabled females. To provide sexual service or even sex education to them is barely seen.
I have to admit that, even though there are more and more female members joining us, androcentrism is still not easy to get over.
[[slide page 18]] limitations
Hand Angel provides service to those with servere physical or visual disabilities.
So here comes a frequently asked question: what about others?
The main difficulty for us is that we don't know enough about the situation of other disabilities.
Of course we know that people with other disabilities also don't have enough sexual resources,
but we ourselves do not have enough resources to share, either.
That's why we also hope other people to compose other similar organization.
Meanwhile, there are some people we cannot help because of law.
Adolescents are the ones I myself care about most,
since male teenagers have overwhelming sexual desire, and that would be hell for those with upper limb disability.
However, there are always laws prohibiting youths to have sex in every country.
[[slide page 19]]
In Taiwan, it is legal to have sexual activity after 16. No matter it's intercourse or not.
But even for an organization providing free service like us, the member who communicate with sex volunteer and the servee would be punished as a broker if the servee is younger than 18.
Actually, we do have an applier who mailed us about his desire when he was 15. What we can do is tell him to wait 3 more years.
Unfortunately, being an adult does not mean your right to sex is permitted.
[[slide page 20]]
People with intellectual disability or mental disorder are also infantilized, treated as babies or angels, and considered asexual.
The dilemma is similar to what teenagers have. Their consents are not considered valid.
That is frustrating. The law to protect them from sexual violence also tortures them.
[[slide page 21]] Acrotomophilia and devotees
While talking about disabled people in love or having sex, this is also an issue we should mention.
Some people worry about that devotees are just trying to dominate or take control of the disabled people.
This is similar to MacKinnon's dominance theory and male supremacy.
Devotees are considered to have more power in the relationship, and thus disabled people have a lack of autonomy.
I think that's a stigma, too.
The dominance theory does not deny free love. It focuses on the power issue.
Thus, the problem lies still on the absence of resources disabled people deserve.
Slanders on devotees are based on the prejudice that disabled people are never sexy,
and that denies the possibility for disabled people to have plentiful sexual activity.
The whole society shall support disabled people to have their own autonomy in their relationship.
[[slide page 22]] Difficulties
Usually, people would understand sexual desire of disabled people.
But to support it publicly is another story, especially for the organizations relying on donations.
There are some social workers and parents telling us that they want to do something to help their cases and family,
but it is still an issue which could not be spoken.
It's never been easy for us to talk about sex on the table, but it should be done.
Even for those who don't agree with the idea of sexual service, I do hope you could at least support disabled people to talk about their sex and romance.
[[slide page 23]]
This ends my report. Thank you for listening.
I'm Kong, a sex volunteer of Hand Angel from Taiwan.
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[Is My Startup Leveraging Sales or Marketing to Attract Customers?]
When founders find out that I developed and managed Microsoft's global social media marketing for startups, many of them ask me if they can run a few ideas by me and see where they are doing the right thing in their marketing.
I have noticed after talking to founders for the past two months that sometimes there is a little confusion about sales language / sales pitches and marketing. So, I want to be helpful to founders at any stage of their growth by briefly offering my point of view on which is which.
Marketing is the language that you craft, and the story that you permeate through all of your branding and media engagement that clarifies and directs the tone and message of your mission.
Sales is the language and the toolkit of techniques that one or a group of people leverage to close deals with customers.
They both use many techniques and deploy many types of messaging, but they are very different things.
Marketing builds trust.
Sales makes use of that trust to ensure purchase activity.
Sometimes I have seen people use web properties like a site, or a blog, to talk about offers and offers seem to be the only language that gives insight into the product and what it does.
Truthfully, this isn't typically enough to build trust. Yes, if your product is what they want, price may be a feature of the marketing, but using this alone isn't marketing. It's just sales language using up very lucrative and precious space that could be used for marketing.
With some exceptions, marketing is a long game. It's the intelligence that you use to prep for the sales battle. It's the method that from far away and from up close, gains you and the brand attention and trust.
It is your company's WHY.
Examples of marketing:
Nike's Just Do It campaign
Apple's Think Different campaign
Starbucks' Meet Me at Starbucks global media narrative
Sales is the hand-to-hand combat that you engage in when the target is close, lured in by your marketing.
Example of a sales technique:
Watch the scene from Wolf of Wall Street, when Jordan Belfort, played by Leonardo DiCaprio, cold calls a man and asks him to invest in penny stocks.
Founders need to think about how marketing is a very long game. It may take years to build that story. It may take countless trials and errors. But the focus on that mission is building trust. Trust is what enables sales to happen.
If you would like to sit down with other founders and experts in the fields of marketing, communications, legal issues, human resources and hiring, as well as mentors who have built up their own companies in Taiwan and in Greater Southeast Asia, you are welcome to apply to our 20th cohort, which will begin next year.
Deadline is December 16: http://bit.ly/2NF5RL8
Doug Crets
English Communications Master, AppWorks
Image courtesy: Paramount Pictures
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【時事新聞】
Trump staffer takes the fall for plagiarism controversy
川普妻講稿疑抄襲 幕僚一肩扛下指控
Melania Trump’s speech at the Republican National Convention became the talk of the town after it appeared she plagiarized sections of it from Michelle Obama’s 2008 address.
梅蘭妮亞川普(Melania Trump)在共和黨全國大會上的演說,現在是最火熱的話題,因為她似乎抄襲了蜜雪兒歐巴馬(Michelle Obama)在2008年的演說。
Republicans staunchly denying the accusation have since defended her. Apparently, similar lines were uttered by John Legend and Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony.
堅決否認此事的共和黨員一直在替她護航。歌手約翰傳奇(John Legend)和《彩虹小馬》中的紫悅(Twilight Sparkle),顯然也說過類似的詞句。
John Legend has asked to be excluded from this narrative. Twilight Sparkle probably would too, if she had Twitter.
約翰傳奇已經表示不想和這件事沾上邊。如果紫悅有推特(Twitter)的話,應該也會跟進。
But even more shocking is the fact that someone from Team Trump actually fessed up and apologized.
但更令人震驚的是,川普團隊中已經有人出來認錯、道歉了。
The culprit is Trump staffer Meredith McIver, who was brought in after Melania decided to fiddle with the draft of her professionally written speech.
兇手就是川普的幕僚Meredith McIver,梅蘭妮亞要找人修改她的演講稿,便找來McIver。
Donald’s would-be first lady admired Michelle Obama...and read McIver passages from her 2008 speech as examples of what to include in hers.
想當第一夫人的梅蘭妮亞很仰慕蜜雪兒歐巴馬,並將她2008年的演說片段唸給McIver聽,作為參考範例。
Since McIver didn’t bother to cross-reference, those passages eventually made it to the final. And we all know how that turned out.
McIver竟沒想到要查證來源,那些段落就成了最終的演講稿。我們也都知道接下來發生什麼事了。
The Trump staff writer supposedly tried to resign, but the Donald wouldn’t have it.
這名川普團隊的寫手自然想引咎辭職,但唐諾沒有接受。
We’re surprised he didn’t just fire her Apprentice-style.
他沒有像在電視實境秀《誰是接班人》裡一樣,把她開除,真叫人訝異。
資料來源:TOMO news/ Apple Daily
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