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#notarantbutaCONFESSION

Mummy said she’s on the verge of breaking down…
𝙎𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙙𝙚𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣. Woke up every 2 hours to pump/ breastfeed is really crazy. By the time I’m done, I’m probably left with another 30 mins or so for the next session. I’m not sure how some mothers can sleep in between sessions 😔 I skipped 1-2 session so that I can sleep but usually end up with engorged breast. I don’t even need any alarm to wake me up 😵‍💫

𝙁𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙜𝙪𝙚. On daily pain killer 💊 is a must for me in order for bae to do my wound dressing. It is cleaned twice a day. It’s an open wound, cut vertically on my existing scar. 🩸Fresh pink/ red flesh can be seen on my lower abdomen but so far I had probably only seen it less than 5 times. I left the details to hubby 🙋🏻‍♂️and he’ll summarize for me whether my condition is improving or worsen bcs I have very weak heart seeing “bloody-gruesome” wound like this. But so far, thankfully, it’s healing well. 🙏🏻 It’s been 2 weeks since, doc told me I need a minimum 1 month for the wound to “close up”. Let’s hope for the best!💯

𝘽𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣. Despite staying indoor and ordered everything online, number of Covid cases is still on the high side. 😒 Hospitals are running out of bed, front liners are breaking down. Many committed suicide because of the continuous lockdown (failed gov). Rakyat are suffering. 💔 Me too, the need to socialize and to dine out on my fav food is so far-fetched (Impossible! Unrealistic!) with the current situation. But everyone in Malaysia has been like this since, what? last year? I even lost count of the time. 😢 But I know it has been like this for a very very very long time… Trapped at home for way too long felt like living in hell! Did we all just wasted our lives for the past 2 years waiting for our gov to make things better! Sigh… I only saw how things got worse! 😮‍💨

𝙋𝙤𝙤𝙧 𝘼𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙚. One of the reason is due to my wound too. 🤕 And with weaker body, contributes to weaker state of mind too due to restricted movement etc. Confinement food is also not what I enjoy when I was having poor appetite 🤢. Still prefer food which offer balance meals and variety. 👩🏻‍⚕️Yes, doc said I have no food restriction after I clarified with them. I even showered daily bcs of my visit to NICU and hospital for the first two weeks🏥, followed by my admission in hosp due to my csec wound. Hygiene is very important 🛀, especially during the pandemic. ⚠️ I do not want to bring any viruses home to my family. 🦠 Not at all.

𝙂𝘿𝙈. Gestational diabetes is high blood sugar (glucose) 📝 that develops during pregnancy and usually disappears after giving birth. I was on controlled diet 🍛 throughout my pregnancy and I will have to take another test this August to confirm if GDM still exist. And because of this, I’m also a lil bit depressed 😪 bcs I can’t reward myself with some good dessert or ice creams!🍦 This is the real zero quality of life when you don’t get to enjoy life up to your liking/ preference 🖤! Not when you’re a foodie right! Sorry for the zero update on my food ig @𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙨_𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙨 too! 🥵

I just hope all the bad and unhappy times will be over soon. 👎 This is not a rant, just a confession of what’s really going on in my pregnancy journey🤰🏻. Not all motherhood journey is a bed of roses. But comparing this to my cancer journey, this is definitely much better 🍀. Because out of the pain and misery, I have Isabelle with me 👶🏻. She’s healthy, sweet, adorable and quite manageable so far. Just a lil bit out of control when she’s hungry🍼! Hahaha! I’m mastering it soon on how to deal with her tantrum 😆 Just offer her the boobies🤱🏻!

𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙖 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙢𝙚! 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙤𝙖𝙙 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙗𝙚 𝙗𝙪𝙢𝙥𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙪𝙥 𝙮𝙚𝙖! 𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙥 𝙖𝙩 𝙖 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧. 𝙒𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙖 𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩 𝙟𝙤𝙗 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬 𝙖 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙞 𝙝𝙪𝙢𝙖𝙣! 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙯𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩! 𝙉𝙤 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙥𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙝! 𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙬𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ❤️ 𝙡𝙤𝙩𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 💋

🌈 𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰’𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦! 💛

#babyisabelleNQY #fullybreastfeed