愛情36「題」❤️
讓陌生人迅速相愛的36個問題
Time to fall in love?
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《紐約時報》報導:
曼迪·萊恩·卡特隆(Mandy Len Catron)為「現代愛情」專欄寫了一篇文章《如何快速與陌生人相愛》,她在文中提到心理學家阿瑟·亞倫(Arthur Aron)等人的研究成果:兩個陌生人之間的親密關係或許可以通過彼此詢問一些特別的個人化問題而快速升溫。這36個問題分為三組,一組比一組來得尋根究底。
這個理論的核心是,共同的脆弱能促進親近感。這項研究的作者們稱:「同伴之間發展親密關係的關鍵模式在於持續、逐步升級、相互且個人化的袒露自我。」允許自己和另一個人共享脆弱可能非常困難,下面這個練習能迫使你做到這一點。
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Set I 第一組 ❤️
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
如果可以在世界上所有人中任意選擇,你想邀請誰共進晚餐?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
你想成名嗎?想以什麼方式成名?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
打電話之前你會先排練一下要說什麼嗎,為什麼?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
對你來說,「完美」的一天是什麼樣的?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
你上次自己唱起歌來是在什麼時候,給別人唱呢?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
如果你能活到90歲,同時可以一直保持30歲時的心智或身體,你會選擇保持哪一種呢,心智還是身體?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
你是否曾經秘密地預感到自己會以怎樣的方式死去?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
說出三件你和你的伴侶看上去相同的特徵。
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
人生中的什麼東西最令你感激?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
如果你能改變被撫養成人過程中的一件事,會是哪一件。
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
花四分鐘時間,儘可能詳細告訴伴侶你的人生經歷。
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
如果你明天一覺醒來就能擁有某種才能或能力,你希望那會是什麼能力呢?
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Set II 第二組 ❤️❤️
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
如果有一個水晶球可以告訴你關於自己、人生,未來乃至任何事情的真相,你會想知道嗎?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
有沒有什麼事是你一直夢想去做而沒有去做的,為什麼沒有做?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
你人生中最大的成就是什麼?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
在一段友誼之中你最珍視的是什麼?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
你最寶貴的記憶是什麼?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
你最糟糕的記憶是什麼?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
假如你知道自己在一年內就會突然死去,你會改變現在的生活方式嗎?為什麼?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
友誼對於你來說意味着什麼?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
愛與情感在你生活中扮演着什麼樣的角色?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
和你的伴侶輪流說出心目中對方的一個好品質,每人說五條。
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
你的家人之間關係是否親密而溫暖,你覺得自己的童年比其他人更快樂嗎?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
你和母親之間的關係是怎樣的?
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Set III 第三組 ❤️❤️❤️
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “
每人用「我們」造三個句子,並含有實際情況,比如「我們倆在屋子裡,感覺……」
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “
補完這個句子:「我希望和某人在一起,分享……」
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
如果你想和對方成為親近的朋友,請告訴對方有什麼重要的事情是他或她需要知道的。
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
告訴對方你喜歡他或她身上的什麼東西,要非常誠實,說些你不會對萍水之交說的東西。
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
和對方分享生命中那些尷尬的時刻。
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
你上次在別人面前哭是什麼時候?自己哭呢?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
告訴對方,你已經喜歡上了他或她身上的什麼品質。
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
你覺得什麼東西是嚴肅到不能開玩笑的,假如有的話。
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
如果你今晚就將死去,而且沒有機會同任何人聯絡,你會因為之前沒有對別人說什麼話而感到遺憾,你為什麼到現在都沒有對他們說這些話呢?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
假設你擁有的全部東西都在你的房子里,現在房子着了火,救出家人和寵物之後,你還有機會安全地衝進去最後一次,取出最後一件東西,你會拿什麼,為什麼?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
你的家人中,誰去世了會令你最難過,為什麼?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
說出一件你的個人問題,問對方如果遇到此事要如何解決。另外,也要讓對方如實告訴你,在他或她眼中,你對於這個問題的感受是怎樣的。
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❤️ 看完這些問題後,會想到哪一部愛情片? ❤️
Tag someone who needs these questions~
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完整報導: https://nyti.ms/3z5eep9
圖片出處: https://bit.ly/3uYjIie
TED影片: https://bit.ly/3cn9jWC
regret sentence 在 李卓人 Lee Cheuk Yan Facebook 的最讚貼文
(Scroll down for english version)
「歷史將宣判我們無罪!」
李卓人8.31案法庭陳情書
法官閣下,我在此認罪,但我在捍衛人民和平遊行和集會自由上,並沒有做錯任何事。我相信歷史將會宣判我們無罪。在此請讓我向你講述更多我的背景,那樣你就能更理解我為何要為了香港的未來,與人民共同走上街頭。
#新時代由政治犯開創
作為一名基督徒,我在復活節期間聽讀經員閱讀聖經,提醒了我,耶穌為世人犧牲,被釘上十字架,使罪人與神和解。從被捕到被控到被彼拉多(Pilate)判死刑,祂也是一名政治犯,沒有犯罪,但因為服務窮人和傳福音,而威脅到猶太統治階層。
縱觀人類歷史文明,我們現在享有的權利,也是由一眾政治犯,諸如甘地、馬丁路德金和納爾遜·曼德拉所開創的。在80年代,我是「香港反種族隔離運動」的主席,我一直將納爾遜·曼德拉在1963年遭審判所言銘記於心。他說:「願意為我的理想而犧牲自己生命。」他的理想是爭取南非黑人的平權,然後就被判刑27年。我為他在1994年當選南非總統而感到興奮,他給予了全世界受壓逼的人民希望,讓他們知道透過堅持不懈的鬥爭,可以達致公義。
#曼德拉給我的啟發
我花了一些時間去講曼德拉帶給我的啟發,因為我是從1978年起投身到勞工權益和民主運動的。我畢生的理想,就是讓基層和被壓逼者勇於發聲和站起來爭取屬於他們的權利。每當那些被壓逼者起來捍衛他們的權利,為尊嚴而抗爭時,我也會受到鼓舞,並得到力量去繼續面對香港正面臨的艱苦奮鬥和挑戰。我曾問自己,沒有抗爭,我的人生將會是如何?這已是我第43年投身於民主運動,法官閣下,你必須明白當我目睹國家權力如何使用武力鎮壓人民,令香港人受傷、受牢獄之苦或是流亡,以及香港民主倒退,人民的權利遭剝奪之時,心裏的痛苦和折磨。我看到我的理想正在崩潰,但即使被黑暗籠罩,也無阻我繼續為理想奮鬥的決心。為了這一理想,我甘願承受任何懲罰。
法官閣下可能會說,法律就是法律,而我好像沒有就八三一案展露出絲毫悔意。我希望法官閣下明白,我是何等重視人民透過言論和集會所彰顯的自由。這是弱勢和受壓逼者尋求公義的唯一路徑。剝奪了這種權利,形同制度對人民施暴。我不願看見香港人活在建基於制度暴力的管治之中。因此,我會竭盡所能,伸張人們有尊嚴及和平遊行去發達意見的權利。
#最壞的尚未來臨
#法庭要睜開眼睛
我十分尊重法官閣下維護法治的熱誠。在此,我希望能引用已故法官Ruth Bader Ginsburg的話:
「法官們會不斷思考和改變,我希望倘若今日法庭有盲點,明日它將會睜開眼。」
我十分敬佩Ginsburg為了性別平權奮鬥一生,成就斐然。她告訴我們,法官應該與時並進,趕上不斷在變遷的時代。在香港,最壞的尚未來臨,我們需要法律界人士去睜開雙眼,觀看人民的苦難,並反思法律在這個時代的立足點,如何隨時代變遷而轉變,以捍衞人民的尊嚴與權利。
2021年4月7日
"History will absolve us"
Submission of Lee Cheuk Yan to the Court
Your Honour, I plead guilty but I’ve done no wrong in affirming the rights of people to peaceful procession and I believe history will absolve us. May I give you more on my background so as your honour can understand why I decided to march with the people for the future of Hong Kong.
As a Christian, during Easter when the scripture was read, I was reminded how Christ went to meet his fate on the cross, sacrificing for mankind to reconcile sinners with God. From His arrest to his prosecution to his death sentencing by Pilate, he was a political prisoner who committed no crime apart from seen to be a threat to the Jewish Hierarchy by serving the poor and oppressed and preaching the good news.
Throughout history of mankind, the rights that humankind now enjoyed were pioneered by political prisoners from Gandhi to Martin Luther King to Nelson Mandela. I was the Chairman of Hong Kong anti apartheid movement back in the 80s and I always remember the determination of Nelson Mandela when he said during his trial back in 1963: “an ideal for which I am prepared to die for.”. His ideal was the equality for black South African and then he spent 27 years in jail. I was thrilled that in 1994, he was elected President of South Africa, giving hope to oppressed all over the world that justice can be achieve through the persistent struggle of the people.
I went to length about his inspiration to me personally because I started my activism starting 1978 for labour rights and democracy. My lifetime ideal is the empowerment of the poor and oppressed to speak out, to rise up for their rights. Whenever the oppressed assert their rights to fight for their dignity, I feel myself also empowered and inspired to continue the difficult struggle and challenges facing Hong Kong. I asked myself, what is my life without the struggle. The struggle is my life, I cannot imagine my life without it. It had been forty three years of struggle for me and your Honour must understand my deep felt pain and sufferings to see how the State Power had been using brute force against the people and the sacrifices of so many Hongkongers who were injured, jailed or exiled, also to witness the deprivation of the basic rights of the people and the regression in democracy. I saw my ideal crumbling but I will continue the struggle even though darkness is surrounding us. It is an ideal for which I am prepared for any sanction.
Your Honour may say the law is the law, I seems not show any remorse in breaching law in this trial for August 31st. I hope Your Honour understand the utmost importance I put on the rights to freedom of expression through speech or assembly. This is the only avenue the weak and oppressed can have to right the wrongs on them. If deprived, I will call this systemic violence on the people and I do not want to see Hong Kong rule on the basis of such systemic violence. Therefore I would do my utmost to affirm the rights of people to a dignified and peaceful procession to express themselves.
Your Honour must be passionate about upholding the law and I respect your ideal. I hope I can quote from the late Judge Ruth Bader Ginsburg:
“Justices continue to think and can change. I am ever hopeful that if the court has a blind spot today, its eye will be open tomorrow”
I was very impressed with her passion for gender equality and how she fought her whole life for gender equality and was able to achieve so much. Her message was time changes and judges should catch up with time. For Hong Kong, the worst may yet to come, and we need the legal profession to open their eyes to the suffering of the people and reflect on which side the law is with and how to changes with time for the advancement of the rights and dignity of the people.
I humbly submit myself to your sentencing and whatever your sentence, I have no regret for standing up for the rights of the people.
7th April, 2021
regret sentence 在 Milton Goh Blog and Sermon Notes Facebook 的精選貼文
Are We Baptized with Fire?
“I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. His winnowing fan is in His hand, and He will thoroughly clean out His threshing floor, and gather His wheat into the barn; but He will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.””(Matthew 3:11-12 NKJV)
I have read what some believers wrote about the passage above, saying that we need the baptism of the Holy Spirit and fire. I imagine that many well-intentioned preachers are also preaching this passionately in a loud voice to their congregation.
They totally misunderstood what being baptized with fire means.
If you read the passage above carefully, you will notice that the sentence about the baptism of Holy Spirit and fire is parallel to the next sentence.
In the next sentence, the “Holy Spirit” is a parallel with God’s “wheat” being gathered into the barn, while “fire” is a parallel with the “chaff” being burnt up with unquenchable fire.
The baptism of fire is not a good thing to experience!
When we read the Amplified Bible translation of the passage, the meaning becomes very clear:
““As for me, I baptize you with water because of [your] repentance [that is, because you are willing to change your inner self—your old way of thinking, regret your sin and live a changed life], but He (the Messiah) who is coming after me is mightier [more powerful, more noble] than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to remove [even as His slave]; He will baptize you [who truly repent] with the Holy Spirit and [you who remain unrepentant] with fire (judgment). His winnowing fork is in His hand, and He will thoroughly clear out His threshing floor; and He will gather His wheat (believers) into His barn (kingdom), but He will burn up the chaff (the unrepentant) with unquenchable fire.”” (Matthew 3:11-12 AMP)
The word “baptize” means “to immerse”, like when you dive into a pool, you are immersed with water.
Believers are baptized with the Holy Spirit, whereas unbelievers will be baptized with the fires of Hell and the lake of fire.
The wages of sin is death, and sin has to be punished. Being burnt by the fires of Hell is the way which unbelievers have to pay for their sins, since they rejected the payment which Jesus made on their behalf; it is not set to their account. This fiery eternal torment is what being baptized with fire means.
Therefore a person cannot be baptized with both the Holy Spirit and with fire—it is only one or the other, depending on whether he receives or rejects Jesus as Lord.
So please, don’t tell believers that they have to be baptized with fire, for being burnt up like chaff in unquenchable fire is NOT their portion!
Can you see how easy it is to misinterpret Scripture when not read in context, and without being led by the Holy Spirit? Learn to understand the four gospels through the lens of grace: https://bit.ly/understandeveryparable
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regret sentence 在 How to Express Regret in English (should have, could have ... 的推薦與評價
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