關於 robynnblogs ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

8月24號快將推出第一首個人廣東歌， 有種從新出發的感覺， 內心有各種各樣的情緒。 一方面告訴自己， 一切盡量懷著「無壓力」的心情，當是送給自己的一份生日禮物吧。 但事實上， 過去一年實在經歷過太多。 而經歷的一切讓我充滿新的體會， 新的感受，有些需要做的事情變得遙遠陌生， 心裏有一種說不出的不自在。

有人和我說過：「我感覺你為了寶寶真的太緊張了。放輕鬆點吧。」事實上，疫症期懷孕，沒有緊張， 只是接受了需要足不出戶。 時間彷彿停頓了， 而我只需要專注於一件事。偶爾去去公園散步、在家做做運動、養胎、自娛唱歌、甚少見任何人，其實對內向的我來說不是太難過的事。 不出門，反而不需太緊張。 不過， 即使多自閉， 也都推出了三首單曲和加錄了一首尚未推出的作品， 也因此感到幸福自豪。

現在， 這去年錄的作品快要推出了， 我又要由我 Lost Forever 的山洞中慢慢爬出來了。 一切過來不簡單，所以一切盡在不言中。 很多事想透過歌表達， 希望大家能得到共鳴， 提醒自己還有很多事值得去做、值得去闖。

因為當加上了媽媽的角色， 看到寶寶的一個眼神、一個笑容， 整個人會突然覺得，一切一切也不再重要。這個世界彷彿化為煙霧， 自己就會想：「我可以永遠永遠在這裡， 不離開。可以嗎？」

諷刺地， 過去的Robynn 卻已經準備好了這一首將要推出的新歌。 就彷彿她總是要冒個頭出來提醒著我說：「 你如果不為這首歌拍攝MV， 對得起這首歌嗎？ 你如果不推出這首歌， 對得起你自己嗎？ 」

現在的我就一半振奮、一半無奈地說：「好吧。」畢竟， 過去的我， 太了解我。

當時間變得越來越珍貴， 很多事真的感激身邊幫忙的人們，讓我儘能力分配好時間。 陌生的舊路已變成新路，無壓力的狀態也遇上了忐忑的心情。 一切的感受， 或許當媽媽的朋友們會懂。

也或許是因為， 自己兒時得到的美好，會想儘能力給女兒； 同時自己兒時不太好的， 會想更努力去改變它。 嬰兒時的我， 因當時環境因素影響，與媽媽一起的時間不多。 所以...我骨子裡其實只想一直陪著她， 看著她每一天成長... 同時間， 我也還有我自己的夢想。 我也考究過，怎麼我欣賞的創作女歌手當中， 當媽媽的真的甚為少？ 難道真的是巧合？ 或許， 我就是要變成這個我欣賞的自己。

一切學習平衡中， 也很期待有一天， 我能為大家再次在一個演唱會台上唱歌， 而到時候也有女兒在台下看著，讓她從我身上明白， 只要堅持不放棄， 沒有什麼不可能。 這還是我的願望。

#Robynnblogs #themodernmama #balanceandbreathe

#Updates #Robynnblogs

The world really has evolved several stages since 2020, and also since the beginning of my career- and that’s the beauty of it all. Nothings permanent, everything changes and newer, more exciting things keep coming into the mix.

Tomorrow my baby will turn 6 months. What a massive milestone, for her and for myself. As I am learning everyday to be a better mother, I am also learning to become a stronger me. I have been wanting to update fans and friends on how I am doing - and yet every time I try, I just feel like “oh gosh. Where do I even start?” And before that thought process is over, I would be busy either feeding my baby, changing a diaper, soothing her, or putting her to sleep.

The first few months of my baby’s life felt like it flew by so quickly yet at the same time pre-baby feels like a lifetime ago - everything in my world has shifted. My whole focus was her - I was breastfeeding, (which, by the way, is HEAPS harder than giving birth), making sure she’s eating well, sleeping well, and pooping well. And, understandably, paranoid about any kind of germs in the house. There was no difference between day and night, it’s just wake time and sleep time. It made no difference for me what day of the week it was, what weather it was, what’s happening with my industry, or with the world other than the daily Covid news, because I just needed to stay home make sure that my little newborn is far far far away from covid. I barely saw friends, and hadn’t eaten in a restaurant for north of half a year. As I took care of her, I barely had time to wash my own face, go to the bathroom, or sleep for a long stretch of time. I also didn’t have enough breastmilk, so I would sit there and try to pump the life out of me, just so I could provide half of a meal for my baby. I tried everything - but I do know that low supply isn’t uncommon. So- as glamorous as mom life can appear to be on social media, don’t be fooled. It’s humbling, but it’s also life-altering and the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.

Emotionally, I’ve been so over the moon and happy. I enjoy spending time with my newborn baby, she makes me giggle and smile - even though I wish my mother was here to share old baby stories of me, and experience all of this together. But having a daughter really makes you feel more connected to your mother on a completely different level - I just know she’s happy and proud of me from up above. I’ve taught her how to semi-feed herself, how to fall asleep by herself, teaching her still how to roll, sit, and semi-stand (crazy!!), and I’ve played her tunes on my guitar like she’s the only fan in my fan club.

I also consider myself blessed that I never had issues with postpartum depression, despite suffering from mommy’s wrist. I had an amazing relationship with my 陪月/月嫂 who helped me immensely more than words can say. I have not been able to see my side of the family for over a year, but I’m blessed to have amazing in-laws and fellow mommy friends to share experiences with.

Nothing has been easy, but I am the most grateful for my husband - he was always by my side when I needed him. We change diapers together, we bathe our daughter, we sing to her together, and read bedtime stories to her together. I can safely say, that I’m MUCH happier than when I was towards the end of my music label contract. There have been some dark years there.

Hitting 6 months is a big deal for me. I can safely pat myself on my back and reminisce on THE single most biggest achievement of my life, my daughter. Obviously, 6 months is not long in the grand scheme of things, ie. her entire life ahead, but it is a big milestone for me mentally, and finally I feel it’s time to really focus on my own personally healing. I completely lost myself in taking care of her, and yet I felt the most alive and the most needed - and I found a new me in the process. It’s a beautiful kind of chaos and I embraced all of it. But yes, now it’s time for me again. finally.

Hitting this 6 month mark, I have decided to now wean from breastfeeding, take care of my body better, drink some wine, and write more songs for real. (If my daughter allows, lol). I am choosing to give myself some more me-time, read a book, get my nails done, and eventually get a haircut too. And.. start to think about dieting and training. Moms don’t get enough credit for deciding consciously to not slim down yet because they gotta breastfeed. But- with that said, all moms have their own struggles that no one knows of, so never judge!

A part of the stress that comes with social media sometimes, is actually comments on moms’ sizes, even praises of “wow you slimmed down fast!” As though that’s the most important thing of all. The toxic culture pains me and I just know it’s not the point. For me, it really was a conscious decision, just to be a mother first, above all else, at least for these first six months of her little life. And looking at her, strong, happy and healthy, I am truly so so proud of her for her growth and development.

And finally.. I’m finally ready to think about myself again as a musician. I know I’m lucky to be able to have a choice of being with her for 6 months; I count my blessings everyday. But as songwriting wheels become rustier, and as the industry evolves, I’m quite frankly not sure yet what a singer-songwriter mom looks like. I struggle to name artists in the Chinese speaking world that I could reference from - but I promise I’ll continue to bring music to those ears that still choose to listen.

I still hope that one day - little Naomi can see mama on stage. Looking down at her as she sleeps, I always imagine what she would be like as she grows up - and I hope that one day she will be able to pursue what she loves to do and focus on the truly meaningful things in life.

Thank you for reading through this thinking-out-loud random catch-up session blog thing. I’m just so glad I survived 6 months of motherhood. This stuff ain’t easy! Sending love and thank you all for the support, as always. More updates later!

xRobynn

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Insight of the day:
"Marrying someone, if it's the right person, isn't surrendering something, it's actually a chance to build something." - Conan O'Brien @ The Michelle Obama Podcast

I suppose that's how I now look at my life, whether it's marriage, or motherhood. A certain local singer (kind of unintentionally rudely) at one point had asked me if I was gonna surrender my career upon marriage. And I suppose in Asian cultures we still kind of function and think that way for women in the industry. And I guess being a singer-songwriter and being female in the market has finally come to a point of realization that yes, eventually you'd hit this wall where people expect that you'd "choose" one or the other. Nobody promotes their new music as they willingly and knowingly gain weight, with a big belly, pregnant. They usually tend to hideaway, at least for the moment in time when they are considered less than attractive.

But I feel stronger and more confident now than I used to, and I feel more justified in my thoughts and more determined in my actions, because I'm growing up, and I'm more sure of myself, and I'm embracing my new lessons (and new mistakes) along the way.

Being a pregnant female singer-songwriter that is trying to stay active, in every sense of the word, career-wise and physically, has been rewarding, and even though there are more things I'd like to accomplish, I know that life will take its course, and perhaps yes, at this snapshot in time, it feels like I had to surrender some things. But in the grand scheme of things, it is investing the time to build something even more amazing, nourishing myself with more wisdom, perspective, love, emotions, and knowledge of the world and connecting with even more people that I ever knew possible, and with that, the potential of what I can share with the world creatively. I am confident that it will eventually shine through in my music, the music that I know I will continue to make in the future.

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