三條煙 之 老老豆豆
繼續讀者分享煙腸奇遇。
最尷尬莫過於隔主個mon都為他尷尬得在卅度的十月起雞皮。
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銀行有不少social club和benefits可以供同事借用例如在離島、甚至海外的渡假屋；某些club的會籍代遇；或遊船等設施。
今年夏天特別熱，煙腸們想加速混熟，大家相約搞一次船河P消消暑。
於是我在某星期五下午收到以下的 E-mail:
To: [Me];
Cc: [HR HK Team]
"Dear Small Potato,
I am writing on behalf of the 201X summer interns. We would like to borrow the bank's yacht for a company event on Saturday, XX July 201X, which is the next weekend.
We believe this is an excellent opportunity to interact with all the interns from various departments and functions of the bank and would be beneficial to the overall operation of the institution.
Please advise the availability of the yacht and inform us at your earliest convenience so we can start organizing the event.
Thanks & Best Regards,
A, B & C on behalf of the Year 201X interns."
收到如此烈嘅電郵，又CC HR，第一反應是問老闆這個是HR批准的event嗎? 然後再問 HR 這是什麼傢伙？
睇intern個HR 當然插爆我，說從來都沒有這樣的安排，叫我管教好自己的腸仔，累他驚動了Head of HR。我老細當然也噴火，因為email中的一個代表其中一名煙腸C君是我部門的。
我立即召來我的腸仔C拷問，這可憐的小狗委屈地說他是「係被擺上抬」的，因為有位雄厚背景靚女intern 提議，在intern圍埋食飯期間忽發奇想說，我們都是大客戶的子女嘛，遲早都是企業接班人，銀行應該為我們安排活動建立關係。結果三名傻仔自告奮勇，組成organizing committee。
唉，原來又係為女。
「嗱，阿C, 聽我話你哋最好唔好搞喇，隻艇你哋唔使旨意借㗎啦，算數啦！否則你哋後果自負！」我認我沒有講出事實的全部，但經過我嚴厲警告後，腸仔C跟其他 intern 勸導時，腸仔A&B則說：「你使鬼理你果件廢柴助理仔咩（即係在下）！我地一年幾多生意呀，我叫阿爸炒L佢都得呀！」
Office沒有秘密，這句傳到我耳中後立即無名火起三千丈；橫掂份牛工都頂唔蒲，就睇下你老豆有幾威。我手寫我心 email 回覆：
To: [HK 201X Interns];
Cc: [APAC CFO]; [HK Banking Head];[HK HR Head];
Bcc:[HK ALLSTAFF]
"Dear A,B & C,
Thank you for your email regarding your proposed event. Please note a few procedure stipulated at the HR policy (SectionX.X attachment X)
1) Permission to use the company yacht must be approved by the Asia Pacific CFO, I have included XX (CFO himself) in this email for your convenience.
2) According to the policy, you are required to submit a proposal detailing the strategic intent, client involved and measurable client engagement deliverables so HR head and Banking head (cc-ed) can approve your event efficiently.
3) However, I regret to inform you the company no longer owns a yacht as of end of 2009.
Warm regards,
Small Potato”
呢班傻腸當然唔知世界難撈，都叫咗你哋唔好搞㗎啦，原因係因為養船實在太貴 cut budget，CFO在2009年尾金融海嘯後已有乜都賣，公司遊艇當然第一水賣喇。
Send 完之後全場發出了笑聲，煙腸C立即將自己縮到最少。跟住我的 inbox 也給炸爆了，全部都是，LOL, WTF, Good Job 等等祝賀的字句。
十年又過去，小弟依然健在，升了兩級。
咦？說好的老豆呢？
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每人一千幾百租隻艇都想慳...本來都沒什麼所謂，只不過是少不更事；但過江龍始終不及地頭蟲，所以成日都話：無論你覺得對方幾00後幾低級，千祈唔好得罪人。
最後一炮通常最爆，想睇就支持下幫手跑下Like。
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