關於 the world of the married psychology ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

Bertunang dan berkahwin ni nampak indah tapi realitinya hanya yang melalui je tahu. Siapa yang rancang nak bertunang tu, korang tengok ujian dan cabaran yang selalu orang bertunang hadap. Ikut dan hayati baik baik , yang mana buruk jadikan tauladan dan yang mana baik ambil sebagai pedoman 🌸

Situasi 1: DIUJI DENGAN MASALAH KEWANGAN
godaan: gunalah duit sikit untuk melabur. lepas dua tiga bulan dapat duit lebih, boleh guna tampung majlis. kahwin banyak pakai duit. kurang sike...
Continue ReadingGetting engaged and married looks beautiful but the reality is only those who know. Whoever plans to get engaged, look at the tests and challenges that people always get engaged in. Follow and appreciate good good, which is bad make an example and which is better take as a guideline 🌸

Situation 1: TESTED WITH FINAL PROBLEMS
Temptation: use some money to invest. After two three months of earning extra money, you can use the event. Married a lot with money. Just a little less now. later can replace more

IMPORTANT NOTE: make sure the ready-kept marriage money is not teased by side. If you have extra money, you can use it. But if that money is enough for marriage needs. It's good to prioritize the important thing, discuss with your partner to decide. There's one case, regretting myself because of using dowry money to join the business, at last, I didn't get money Wedding has to be tough

Situation 2. PRESENTATION OF UNLIMITED GUEST (ex)
temptation: i love you again. If I propose to you? I'm waiting for you. I'm willing to wait for you until you divorce and etc

IMPORTANT REMINDER: why did she become an ex? because she is EXperienced! let go and start! Appreciate those who appreciate more. if it wasn't a good love before. it's time to prove we can be the best love! Let go.. start a new story that can be the most beautiful story for children and grandchildren. God willing.

Situation 3: TESTED WITH ATTITUDE
temptation: suddenly engagement becomes too sensitive, angry, less patient

IMPORTANT NOTE, when you want to marry. Definitely putting us in a stressful level. Because there's a lot of things to think about, settled. Added to the feeling of commitment (feeling like a husband, wife), so he becomes more care. Simple things become complicated. The devil has added a dose to cancel the good things. It's getting more exploding! Patience.. this time everyone has to play a role. You won't settle things in anger. Invite to pray, to study. take ablution. When two two are calm. Discuss without emotion. the important thing is. Remember the original intention! Married because of Allah. Look at the problem. Discuss the discharge. Don't focus on the cause. lower your ego and learn to accept and listen. insyaAllah will be better than before fighting.

Situation 4: TESTED WITH HOUBT
temptation: do you want to marry him? but why?. don't you feel young anymore? Many more ambitions to achieve? Are you ready to be a wife? and etc

This one is all natural. Married because I want to accept Allah. If you want to chase the world, until when will we stop chasing? maybe we die running after him. Stop thinking negatively! No one is ready. The most important thing is try to be ready. Seek knowledge (read books, talk and others). Is it a question that I can't be a wife or a daughter that's the experience. Repair from mistakes. example, cooking is not delicious, after this fix the cooking. We won't be perfect. But we can work hard, right? Change the mindset!

Temptation II: is it true that I want to marry him. If you want to say (rich or handsome or good or good or....) that A person looks better than my fiance
* istigfar. back with the original intention. Married because of what? This is a partner even though we clearly see the shortcomings, his weaknesses, we can't hate. even though her face may be full of acne and others. We feel calm looking at it. When you fight, you still feel like being together. Praying to Allah so that the love of him will be stronger, the love of Allah is stronger

Situation 5. PRESSURE OF FAMILY & FAMILY OF FUTURE HUSBAND

Temptation: When you know the family of future couples, setting up dowry, etc, there may be a terrible sense of their decision.

No matter what, we don't judge someone too quickly while we don't know them completely.
Family, feeling hearted in the family, starting to feel right to my mother-in-law will like me, is it true that my brother-in-law will be willing to me, this is all from the devil who always haunts us to cancel our good intentions

Situation 6. STARTING TO BE CAREFUL

After all sorts of tests came over, some of them started to give up and weren't interested in continuing the engagement period.

Survey first the cause of giving heart and try to solve it as long as you can.

Situation 7. EMOTIONS ARE NOT STABILOUS

Some are not happy to sit down when tying the engagement rope. Sometimes sad, angry, too happy, and some keep thinking of his fiance while some have long known his own heart.

When you're friends, you might not feel how serious this relationship is, and how committed you are to a marriage that's about to happen. So, maybe this reason makes you restless and anxious.

Situaso 8. AFRAID OF WRONG DECISION

Temptation: Between phobia and challenges during engagement, some start to show up the real 'attitude'. So, you start to feel doubtful about your choice.

According to Suzana Ghazali, a Syarie Family Psychology Consultant, the Islamic Family Law decides that an individual can obtain a replacement if an engagement is decided by the other side without a strong reason.

Thus, you deserve to receive any form of your gift to her, especially if you spent a lot of money on a wedding to be held.

Situation 9. JEALOUS BLIND

Oh yes, sometimes there are people who suddenly get too jealous and always want to control their fiance's movement. This is a challenge when engagement is common.

While this man is not yet entitled to be obeyed by the woman before pronouncing the marriage ceremony. So is a woman who doesn't have the right to ask for any form of burden from the man.

However, as a Muslim, we must keep our friendship even where we are, whether we are engaged or not

Situation 10. BUSY OF WEDDING MARRIAGE

Busy ahead of wedding ceremony! In the last moment, it's not impossible that it doesn't go as planned. However, this is beyond our control.

Challenges during engagement among them can happen technical mistakes in quotations, change in ceremony, wedding dresses don't fit or wrong sewing, and more

p / s: just share good intentions, want to be halal. It's not easy, there are many challenges that have to be taken before the legal bond.
Want to get married right. whatever it is, every test. Seek Allah! The test is a sign that we need to be stronger with God. May this sharing be blessed. May Allah accept it. Actually, as Muslims, we have to believe that all the challenges during engagement that come are from Allah, as a test to His servants.

Therefore, no matter what the challenges when engaged happen, we should always accept and ask for help from the Almighty. Truly, Allah knows more about something we don't know.

In addition, try to get closer to Allah before we set foot in the household, in preparation of being the leader and mentor of the family institutions that will be established.

As in surah Al-Imran verse 54:

′′ And They Plan, Allah also plans, And ALLAH is the best Planner ′′

📸: Elshaa NatashaaTranslated

JANGAN IZINKAN IBU LAHIRKAN TUANNYA

Masa awal aku kahwin dengan isteri aku, aku dapat pakej 4 orang anak. Alhamdulillah. Yang mana 2 daripada 4 ni istimewa sikit. Dua-dua aspergers. Sorang ADD sorang lagi ADHD. Paling mencabar sekali tau tak apa? Anak-anak ni sebelum kehadiran aku, diorang ni di manjakan betul. Cukup manja! Semua nak, dapat. Tak boleh kena tegur, mesti menaangis dan membentak. 3 lelaki, sorang perempuan. Masa tu umur yang sulung 14 tahun. Yang second 12 tahun...
Continue ReadingDON ' T ALLOW MOTHER TO BORN HER MASTER

When I married my wife, I got a package of 4 children. Thank God. Which 2 of the 4 is a little special. Both aspergers. Another ADD another ADHD. It's most challenging to know it's okay? These kids before my presence, they are being pampered right. Pretty spoiled! All want, got it. Can't be told, must cry and snap. 3 men, a woman. At that time the eldest was 14 years old. The second 12 years old. Third 9 years old. Fourth of 6 years old girl.

First time entering the family, I've had a meeting done. With gangster style, long hair braids. I'm doing a LIVE FB meeting with children. In the meeting, I just entered the family, so follow my rules. I don't follow their rules.

At the beginning, many people who are nearest have started tripping and spreading stories, not saying that I will hit the kids. The swing bowl is right who reads people from this person's use.

Remember the early marriage, my wife always reminds me of me. If these kids promise anything they need to be fulfilled, they will cry badly and scream. Hard to persuade. Sometimes I want to break my breath and cry. The other one is ADHD if he cries, he can't be angry, he has to say it carefully. Because later he will be raging and coming hyper. The one who added is his own attitude. It's just his problem that he doesn't take the port. The eldest is the most pamper. Ask for whatever the confirmation gets. After that it's urgent to work.

I really don't feel like I'm suitable at all. What should I do? Wash his mother first. My wife cried when she washed her first. I said it's simple. I don't want my son to grow up to die and get everything he wants to wear. Nothing, tomorrow won't be given, he rebel like going crazy.

Everything that my wife says can't do, I prove it to my wife, everything that she thinks is wrong. I made it. I didn't see anyone doing what my wife said. I just tried to bring MCD, then I parked at the Tomyam shop. Look at all the faces that are slammed. But no one is crying.

That's where it all started. Until one part I saw my wife still wrongly. I said it's simple.

′′ Want something big, need a big sacrifice. If you maintain like this, it's too wrong that you have to follow all your child's wishes, you're afraid to say NO and then you're crying and tired of your brother Trust me. Just like this, you'll lose your brother. Choose. ′′ ′′

Hah my wife was shaking at that time.

Yes, it's not easy to fight the mother's instinct. I really understand. But have to remember, you want to be sad until when you just want to entertain the extreme motherhood instincts? How do you want your child to grow up? What's he doing today, he's already big tomorrow. You're poor, he asks for something you can't fulfill. You think he got it? That's the wrong time he just said this sentence.

′′ Why is my mom not like someone else's mom. It's okay. I am not important ′′

Heart was shaking at that time. He didn't tell me 100 times, once didn't let him release such a painful sentence?

I'm nothing, kids like this even more men, have to grow up to be men. Not a bapok, not a Kpop. Man. The world will come far more evil. Responsibility is far bigger. It is compulsory to grow up to be a man. I repeat.

MEN.

That's when my wife slowly became a mad mother. Kah kah kah. The kids were shocked at that time. Suddenly mom is good at screaming? Suddenly mom is good at tunjal head? Suddenly mom is good at slapping? Suddenly mom dares to throw her phone against the wall?

Most power if a child I say near her mother,

′′ Mom doesn't love me, I hate mom.."

If my wife used to hear this verse, she will feel sinful and crying. Now you know what my wife answer?

′′ Once you hate me, 100 times I hate you.."

Stunned again child. Feels like the tactical of playing sentiment is not going to be. Continue to continue doing homework.

After that the scene of running away from the middle of the night, haa my wife is already cuak. Look for me to tell my child to run home. Cleaning up the bag. If you're as a mother, are you rocking? 10-year-olds when they were running home. Other siblings are busy trying not to run away, they insist on running.

I told my wife I'm happy je.

′′ Do not persuade. Just ask him to run the house faster. Go help her pack the bag. Do not worry. I used to threaten my mother like this when I was small. When my mother is stupid, I stay outside for a while and then I will go home because it's scary outside the dark.. if you persuade, don't run away, believe Tomorrow he's busy threatening to run again."

My wife went down and asked her to leave her house faster. This kid won't go out after opening the door. Look at the dark outside. He immediately opened the saji headscarf, making him hungry. It's so hard to look at it.

Want to turn into a Lion, it looks evil. Many will talk about this. You say you don't love your children. If this part is not strong, it will be stupid to be eaten by these words. But you have to believe one thing. This mother and father knows her child better than all of you. He knows so much. Know which limit he can make or not. We who watch from outside don't pretend to teach other people's children, teach our own children first to let go. Look at our children today he appreciate us how.

I was worst being criticized at that time.

He said since my wife married me, my wife's attitude has changed. Getting harder. Fierce with the kids. And many more lah. I'm lazy to take a port. The one who speaks is a woman who has never tasted anything. Work is great. So bored listening to it. But I'm cooking so much, it's normal that the sound of this person's confirmation since childhood has never lived hard, the child and the one that is like diva is usually the same. Just deaf the ear. Focus on the mission for the good of the child to come.

After 3 years, I recently had a meeting with all my children. I ask, did you notice that mom used to be different from now?

All bobbing. Getting more ferocious and crazy people say.

I'm so happy to hear. Let go of that I said.

′′ Try all of you to look back at this day. What's the difference? Neno 8 years old can be brushed by school clothes. Already able to wipe Ayra out. Luth 10 years can wash everyone's dishes. Hoze is the most improvement. From my own world today, you are the most helping to work in your house. 13 years old, washing clothes, hanging clothes, sleeping ayraa, bathing ayraa. And many more. Anish, you are the eldest brother. Thank God. No more pushy. See you already understand the reality of being a brother. Every morning sitting in the kitchen helping mom cook.. that's okay. Proud for a while Dedi. Dedi is nothing, you ask Dedi's siblings if they are rude to his mother, what happens to them. Must eat Dedi's feet. You become a son, you have to be a protector to your mother. Don't make it a slave mother."

All sighs. I'm connecting again.

′′ Do you know why this Seremban house Dedi doesn't install air conditioner near Indeed Dedi doesn't let mom install air conditioner. Let me sleep hot. Learning how to use a fan. Dedi used to grow up but never sleeps in air conditioner, thank God I grew up healthy. Dedi wants anything can't just get like that. So men have to learn how to feel hard. So that tomorrow, you will learn to be grateful. I will remember your parents when they are happy. You'll be close to siblings, tomorrow this is what you'll laugh back when you tell the story. Trust me. All of these are the sweetest memories. Mother and father don't know when will die. Maybe tomorrow we die, at least Anish can take care of the younger siblings."

Everyone was laughing at that time. My eldest child will interrupt in a while.

′′ Dedi, but honestly Anish likes the current mother from mother before. Even though it's fierce, but it's true when I remember it again. All of us are good at all. I just noticed that someone else is 8 years old but doesn't even know how to take care of the baby who is a year old and shower and defecate. Luth has changed a lot. No more crying. Hardworking. Hoze has changed a lot of crazy. Playing with the phone. There's only one problem, when you have a relative, you can come, don't sit in the Just sit down once. Anyway, I swear, Anish loves the mother who was now from the old times. Even though the current mother is crazy saiko! Haha. Mom, you are Queen Of My Heart! Mother is crazy, before Anish didn't understand a lot. When Anish sees mom struggle, Anish becomes a pity. Just saw all the sacrifices of the mother for all of us."

Others bobbing heads agree and laugh with what brother anish he said.

All impressed when I remember back. Until neno's turn, she keeps crying. She really apologizes near her mom.

The most powerful, they are siblings when their aunt wants to ask them to come out. Each one has completed the job of who managed his / her sister's clothes this year, who will beat his / her younger sibling's pampers, who will manage his / her sister's pampers. All of them think for themselves. Talk to each other and manage the equipment of his little brother who is a year old. No need to have a mother with her dedi.

Power, isn't it? Two Aspergers, an ordinary person. The eldest has entered MRSM. It means that the number two child of ADD is taking over.

Even when I'm going back to hometown, my wife just gave me an order. They all clean up their own bags. My wife doesn't even mix a single dust. My wife looks like a big boss today. All homeworks are managed by the child. My wife's duty is to cook. Wash clothes, dry clothes, wash dishes, wash toilets, throw away garbage, shower ayra for a year, all the kids who manage it.

If I don't move, I won't let my wife shout out to other children. But mad at the eldest child. Let the eldest child be stressed. Whatever happened to the younger siblings, I told her mother to kill her eldest child. So when the younger siblings aren't working, fighting, the eldest brother already knows that he needs to be tiaw with his mother later. Didn't say much, he just settled his younger siblings. That's it brother!

Thank God. The story is only one. Our children, we know each other. There's a part of being fierce, there's a part that needs to be There's a part that can laugh. This mother has one veto power, but many are afraid to use it because she is not in other s' language and is so afraid that her child will hate It doesn't mean anything! It's boring to entertain the sentiment of pity that is extreme. You used to be your mother who hit your face, do you hate your mother to big? Nothing. We're fierce because we just want to educate. Not fierce all the time. More than firm. When you see your child hardworking, listen to it, there's a day that will give you a surprise Chocolate or what? Taking a walk to the park. Time with family has to be there.

If you're too spoiled, you can make your child become responsible and the person who will defend your family, I think that the Malay soldiers won't even be training hard as hard as possible. It's better for them to just pray for all the new soldiers. What do you want, everything is given. Wake up late, swipe your hair and then kiss your forehead. Even eating time is delicious. Sleeping at night comfortably, installing air conditioner. Put on the wifi.

What was it?

Before you want to say this person, ask ourselves first. Our 7-year-old child eats, is he good at washing his own dishes? Do you know how to follow your time schedule? Can you brush your own school clothes?

If you're not good at anything, don't make me feel bad about the way other father's mother educate someone's child.

The hardest episode in educating children at this age. Believe me, this will all be a longing for the kids when they leave the house later. And this also makes them siblings get closer.

Patience, victory day is coming! Early sacrifice is the most important. Fight all the wrong feelings that always play in the soul. Only one thing you have to remember, as long as you don't fight with religion. Mom is never wrong! Angry, fierce lah. Do not worry. Continue to educate our ways. Don't forget the power of Veto!

Eh forgot, waimah is a special child. What the doctor said put number two. Accompanying kids like normal kids before but there's a limit. Don't teach him to be a special child since you were young. We know our children again, right? Because I always believe, crazy people when we clap their hands twice when they want to take our food, the third time they will understand and won't take it anymore. That's the crazy person. So, Don't let the child know he's special. Don't disturb her brain. Just entertaining the same thing.

Everyone is like that. If he feels like there are advantages, there is someone who defends more, he will start to get a chance. Can't believe it? You try to pamper your child crazy. Let go of the try in front of you, someone tease him less, you see how he has torn to tears later he will get your attention.

Anyway..

Only one thing I'm still failing. Failed to change their name call among siblings. No call Along, Angah, Bangde. I feel strongly, calling this name also has a certain advantage to put the difference between the younger brother and brother. There is a family aura.

Don't forget, Father's role in psychology is important to be crazy. Because with this mother, no matter how fierce it is, the child is brave to fight. Dad must be good at playing roles. No need to touch, you need to know when you want to have a high voice. When you want to call your child, sit down and talk about others.

Become a child idol.

Trust me, step child and biological child two things that are impossible. Because the power of VETO only exists in biological children. This step child has a risk that you need to face. What happened to them, people will say that you don't love them because it's not your biological child. Painful and sad that sentence is for me. Allah knows how I love them.

I wrote it,
Mr Amir Lake

P / s: In the past my wife was criticized by the Aspie group when my wife said she educated her aspie's child in the way she was a little firm. All sorts of people are teasing, he said that this aspie child will take revenge and kill him. Have to be teased every day. Poor. My wife doesn't agree with my actions early because she holds the doctor's order. Today, I'm asking my child aspie. Tomorrow if mom gets disturbed by someone else in front of you what will you do? What did he answer? I'll hit him enough! And I asked my wife, how about the person who teased her child? He said his child is under control but sometimes he's raging badly until he's about to breath. At the same time today my child aspie is good at cooking, can do all homework and love his siblings so much.

Mr. Amir Lake creditTranslated