Yesterday, I took my daughter out for a little lunch date just the both of us. A little banana leaf rice with a sweet ice cold teh tarik.
I specifically ordered it without a straw but as our waiter came with our drinks, so excited to serve the happiest little girl and I, I didn’t have the heart to remind him that we really didn’t want straws so I didn’t say anything.
***
After he left, out of nowhere, Ella Grace looked me in the eye, lowered her voice and said, “Mama, I’m so sorry he gave you a straw. You didn’t want one. What can we do to make it better, mama?”
My heart, oh my mama heart. ❤️😭
***
A few weeks ago at another Toddler Workshop, someone in the audience asked why would I “apologize” and say sorry to my child for something that isn’t my fault especially if she’s in the middle of a meltdown about a stinking red cup or blue cup.
I tried to explain that it wasn’t so much saying that it was my fault but just making space and empathizing and acknowledging. Respectful Parenting at it’s core, is learning to see the world through our little’s eyes and responding as a parent. Teaching her empathy by role modeling empathy.
***
This little sweet story? This is the heart of why I do what I do.
I’m a Child & Family Development Specialist but I am first and foremost a mama, trying to raise her little girl to be kind, compassionate, confident, resilient.
I am passionate about this because I have a toddler too, I know the worry and the guilt and the pressure. I know the hard heart work and the sleep deprivation. I’m in the thick of the threenager years but mama, oh mama, we got this.
***
If you’re free tomorrow, please come join me for an afternoon of tools, resources and a safe space to start again at my Toddler Wars workshop with Kidxy.
You’ll learn the RACHEAL Method, the how, what, why, but my hope for you is that, you’ll get to experience this moment. Where your little goofy wild fun-loving toddler surprises you with so much kindness and you walk out of the restaurant confident, proud, in love with the little person she is becoming and remember again, all the reasons why you mama.
❤️❤️❤️
To learn more about our Kidxy partnership or to register, please go to:
http://kidxy.com/rk
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toddler modeling 在 Racheal Kwacz - Child & Family Development Specialist Facebook 的最讚貼文
Twelve days later, her gingerbread house covered with candy still stands. This is a testament of what I so truly believe in on building happy, healthy, authentic food relationships.
She loves candy just like any other kid, marshmallows (sliced very very thin and one at a time) are her very favorite followed very closely by chocolate in any form. We teach her to listen to her body, but more than anything, we also teach her to trust her body and to have everything in moderation by modeling it.
Did we have boundaries? Absolutely. Please notice that she just dumped candy on her plate in hopes she would be able to eat whatever was on her "house".
And on the night we built it, we gathered together as a family, enjoying the camaraderie and laughter, fun and crazy, Christmas carols and goofiness. It wasn't a battle of candy grabbing and restricting neither was it a non-stop candy eating fest despite the abundance of it.
She is two and she is able.
We put our gingerbread houses, all eight of them (!) on display loudly and proudly throughout the Christmas season and they remained untouched and uneaten even though they were definitely within her reach.
Trust is a beautiful and powerful gift to give your family. We respect her and she respects us.
Is she still a toddler? Absolutely. But she is also a toddler that has the freedom within her boundaries to be a toddler.
I would love to teach you this gift on how to be a calm, confident, leader and how to hold firm to your boundaries without shaming, guilting, threatening, screaming, or punishing.
I want you to have your gingerbread house moment after Christmas as you're taking the decorations down. The pride of a parent win and the joy of raising a kind, loving, respecful, happy little girl.
She didn't have to go without and you don't either.
To sign up or learn more about my Toddler Wars workshop (January 6) or Food Wars workshop (January 20), check out the Events section on my FB page.
toddler modeling 在 Racheal Kwacz - Child & Family Development Specialist Facebook 的最佳貼文
A few helpful tips as you get ready to "meet" Santa this weekend and party with friends and family!
- Prep your little one on where you might be going (a friend's house, a busy mall, etc), what to expect (lots of people, cats, dogs, a big giant man in a red suit, music), remind them to use their words, wash their hands, and have fun!
- Respect their space : with our family, it's important to my culture that Ella Grace greets her elders but I don't force her to hug or kiss them if she doesn't want to. Instead, I ask if she prefers a wave or high five if she's feeling shy or overwhelmed. Body safety and respecting each other's no is so important even when young and the best way you can teach them this (regardless of gender) is by modeling it!
- Let them observe : some children take a while for them to take it all in. Remember, all this is new and these people are strangers! so give them a little moment to just observe what's going on. Don't push them or pressure them or you will find an even bigger battle, just sit with them in the moment, hold space for them, narrate what's happening, see if they have any questions or concerns. By acknowledging and "understanding", you build trust and once they have warmed up and feel "safe", everyone will be able to relax and enjoy!
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To learn more practical, loving, solutions for raising kind, compassionate, confident, respectful children, come join my Toddler Wars! workshop on January 6. Merry Christmas! xx
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