「地獄空」攝影集即將在八月中元節前出版,由知名設計師與攝影家黃子欽設計,內附在下二位高徒精美繪製符咒、心經版畫書籤、愣嚴咒牌、尊勝咒語...等,感恩十方大德助印,希望疫情退散,平安喜樂,後記如下:
野放台灣五十餘年,貪狼獨坐,三方四正殺破狼格局,少年多舛,白手起家,隨展覽雲遊四海,如閒雲野鶴常持各類底片機流連廢墟、山川、宮廟忘返,遂設幻影堂自詡堂主,一日三省「凡所有相皆是虛妄」,常宅於暗房沖片放大通宵、鍾情黑白世界之單純,彩色照片俗世繽紛花俏做作甜美甚至比現實更現實故少拍也。知天命之年有餘,了悟人生一瞬、眨眼即逝,雖非仙人,亦無道骨,初聞離垢地生清淨心,但離華嚴「不動地」尚遠,待修持也。
2017年盛暑拍畢《巨神連線》,心律不整差點心肌梗塞向閻羅王報到,意識死神隨伺在側,人生苦短,如何了生脫死、盡斷煩惱、無所罣礙、遠離顛倒……總不得解,蒙釋迦摩尼佛開示飆淚三晝夜,聞佛法數載始知自我渺如塵埃,甚感慚愧。閒暇乃參訪名寺古剎,禮敬焚香佛陀菩薩羅漢諸神天仙王爺媽娘,台灣宮廟千奇百怪、宗派錯綜複雜(佛教、道教、一貫道、天主教、基督教、齋教、回教&大同教、儒教鑾堂、天帝教&天德教、慈惠堂&勝安宮、軒轅教、道院、理教、萬國道德會、會靈山……)、神棍橫行(依人不依法、偶像崇拜、斂財、邪淫),因歷史變遷、社會動盪、政治鬥爭、意識形態等因素導致佛道混雜,但地獄造景稀少,後專注拍攝各殿閻王、判官、陰司、獄卒、七爺、八爺乃至一切罪人,各寺造景巧妙、耐人尋味,意境乖張溢於言表,造型扭曲非常人所能塑也,然匠心獨運、自成一格,專研西方藝術數十載方知真誠樸拙最美,絲毫不輸喬托(Giotto di Bondone,1267~1337)乃至米開朗基羅(Michelangelo Di lodovico Buonarroti Simoni 1475 ~ 1564)矣。
創立於1986年的石門金剛宮風景優美可眺望北濱,雖主祀四面佛,儒釋道眾神尊也不含糊,可過七星橋解厄、繞行五百黝黑羅漢敲鑼印心、跪拜亞洲最大臥佛涅槃像,安太歲自不在話下,甲子太歲爺雙眼長出手掌印象甚深,1994年經閻羅王指示廟公建造一條肚內設極樂世界及陰曹地府之神龍,行走暗黑通道觸動感應機關,只見面容猙獰受刑者呼天搶地喊冤、身邊盡是血肉糢糊殘肢敗屍腦漿塗地,十殿閻羅各司其職、威儀攝人。新北市林口區青嶺湖北文紫祥宮包公廟則以壁面彩塑地獄浮雕獨步全台,粉嫩色彩搭配卡漫風格,尤為造型簡直恐怖到可愛透頂,該廟主祀森羅殿閻羅天子包拯(包青天),陽世冤屈者可至此參拜祭解,求破懸案者眾,逢中元普渡皆以紙紮船渡亡魂至彼岸,全台唯一閻羅天子巨像籌備中,四周環繞墓地,適合修不淨觀也。台灣首尊彰化八卦山大佛旁南天宮(1971)地府則是首座電動地府,規模精小但驚嚇度破表,略顯破敗但五光十色仍蠻凶悍,出自已故台南大道長金登富之作,而電動神明起始可追溯至1960年代北港朝天宮。倒是嘉義水上鄉白人牙膏觀光工廠「戴相府」、「將軍府」設置十殿地府出乎意料之外,乾淨亮麗、ㄧ殿ㄧ間、簡單樸實。由高雄蓮潭龍虎塔龍口入內可見全臺唯一交趾陶地獄牆面,尊尊栩栩如生,續入龍身乃進聞聲救苦白衣觀音大士三十三化身浮雕隧道,造型設色甚為古錐。高雄大岡山超峰寺入口處「西方三聖蓮池海會」(阿彌陀佛、觀世音菩薩、大勢至菩薩巨像)旁設靜態十殿閻羅(1970年代初),雖略為陳舊然韻味猶存,續往上行可抵「證菩提道-釋迦如來應化事迹」雕塑園區,一攬世尊畢生精華。如來年邁時,琉璃國王為報長期被釋迦族輕蔑之傲慢心,世尊雖三次單獨伽跌坐 阻擋大軍進攻之路,但因緣果報無法逆轉,昔日婢女所生王子瞋恨無以復加,還是滅了祖國。自持神通第一目犍連不忍無辜百姓慘遭屠殺,遂以缽盛救度五百族人,最終卻化為血水,佛言神通廣大仍不敵千百劫業力,因緣果報屢試不爽。其母死後墜入餓鬼道飢餓難耐,目犍連遂展神通救渡,但所食尚未入口皆化為赤火,佛陀囑咐農曆七月十五日僧眾解安居自恣日,於盆中設甘露美食供養十方僧眾,因此超度亡母。後世「盂蘭盆法會」乃至「水懺法會」、「瑜珈焰口法會 」皆為消業障、斷塵垢之超渡儀軌,既渡亡魂也自懺悔。
台南麻豆代天府規模宏大、造型豔麗,不但可遊十八層地獄尚可逛天堂(1979年興建,1983年開放),燈光絢爛、聲響駭人,獨自漫步宛如觀落陰、地獄走一回。先過「心頭山」、入「清心池」、進「陰陽界」、抵「交簿廳」、達「鬼門關」、遊「補經所」、探「枉死城」、行「奈何橋」,至ㄧ殿泰廣王照「孽鏡台」現造惡原形,睹抱柱、火床等小地獄。二殿楚江王開「陰查簿 」判案定奪,觀糞尿泥、餓鬼、舞池、寒冰、膿血、鞭韃、舌犁、劍葉、戟腹拋接、砧截……等小地獄。三殿宋帝王刑罰為倒吊、銅鐵刮臉、挖眼、搗樁、倒烤、吸血、穿肋、抽筋、蛆蛀等小地獄……兼遊「四生(胎、卵、濕、化)回魂府」。四殿五官王掌管腰斬、拔舌、沸湯、刺嘴、剝皮、箭樹、車崩、射眼……等十六小地獄。隨五殿森羅王豋「望鄉臺」回眸親人最終眼後觀擊膝、誅心、刀山、飛刀火石……小地獄。六殿卞城王別稱「大叫喚大地獄」,轄火牛、虎啖、噬腎、鉗嘴含鍼、釘喉、磨摧、砍頭……等小地獄。七殿泰山王為「熱惱大地獄」,窺烙手指、抽腸、頂石蹲身、油釜滾烹、割舌穿腮……等十六小地獄。八殿都市王掌管「大熱惱大地獄」兼火狗、鐵汁、鐵蛇、鋸劈斷肢、釘板、灸脊、鐵丸、磅秤……等小地獄。九殿平等王直轄十八層「阿鼻大地獄」,直透地心、內中陰森、不見五指、滿溢地漿,皆為極犯,另轄紫赤毒蛇鑽孔、夾頂、鐵鴉、針雨、蜂蠍……等小地獄。至十殿輪轉王上「觀生臺」、「轉劫所八司」(查驗司 、稽善司 、考過司 、恩怨司 、壽命司 、支配司、掌劫司 、授生司)後至「孟婆亭」飲「醧忘湯」忘盡前塵往事,依前世功德過金、銀、玉、石、木、竹六種橋樑至「轉輪臺(紫河車)」入六道輪迴轉生投胎。據《十八泥犁經》記載,人過世後七七四十九天為「中陰生」,經閻羅王審判善惡業力判定去留或懲罰百千萬劫,犯五逆重罪則墮入「無間地獄(阿鼻地獄)」永劫不復。地藏王乃幽冥教主,統轄十殿閻羅,逢三曹普渡便在各殿設「講道所」超度尚存善根之鬼魂。
人類居於五趣(阿修羅、人、傍生、餓鬼、地獄)雜居地五濁惡世之堪忍世界,犯十惡業(殺生、偷盜、邪淫、妄語、兩舌、惡口、綺語、貪慾、嗔恚、愚痴)者必墮三趣惡道。如何出「三界」(欲界、色界、無色界)二十八天?凡人無此意識,別說能破「十二因緣」(無明、行、識、名色、六入、觸、受、愛、取、有、生、老死)還滅門,更別想斷除「四聖諦」(苦、集、滅、道)集地八十一品見惑與八十八使思惑(五利使-身見、邊見、邪見、見取見、戒禁取見、五鈍使-貪、瞋、癡、慢、疑),了悟「五蘊」(色、受、想、行、識)本空、「十二入」(眼、耳、鼻、舌、意、色、聲、香、味、觸、法)空、「十八界」空,破俱生我執與分別我執、法執甚至空執,生十一處「善心所」(信、精進、慚、愧、無貪、無瞋、無痴、輕安、不放逸、行捨、不害),降二十六處「惡心所」(貪、瞋、癡、慢、疑、惡見、忿、恨、覆、惱、嫉、慳、誑、諂、害、憍、無慚、無愧、掉舉、惛沉、不信、懈怠、放逸、失念、散亂、不正知),須知善根斷盡則陷永劫輪迴、無垠轉世之苦。
地獄可能空滅嗎?若地獄空乏人間多鬼怪,地獄淨空世間何嘗非淨土?若能證空性何處現地獄?
地獄曠古來便廣泛流傳各部族間,老死生滅為自然運行之基礎、宇宙意識之核心,然今文明昌盛如咱城邦並非慾望消弭之所,惡性所及實無可根除,礙於憲法國家法律社會軍隊企業公司學校家庭團體之層層束縛不亞於十八層,乃遁於壓抑、束己情懷,暗埋心底、日久貪嗔痴慢疑怨噌會疊穢。而六塵未熄,心多妄念,妖魔鬼怪魑魅魍魎孤魂閃靈出沒於荒郊乃至人間,會靈於曠野密林以增性靈乃出世高人修煉之舉,我等凡人擅闖宛如迪士尼般之人造地獄,三魂七魄尚不足以出竅,驚邪恐怖淒厲猙獰倒滿足了自以為是的慚愧,豈不謬哉?
病毒肆虐年半有餘,全球確診者逼近一億八千萬,枉死者近四百萬,堪比戰爭規模,望眾生發慈悲心、令往生者安息、善待其他物種、平等有情眾生。地獄本空,唯妄念生起一切羨慕嫉妒恨而地獄現前。盡以此書作為世界新冷戰獨裁者、超限戰者、暗網駭客、陰險狡猾冷嘲熱諷落井下石者之良知備忘錄矣。
姚瑞中寫於2021年端午節
Postscript
I have been living recklessly in Taiwan for more than fifty years. According to Zi Wei Dou Shu (Purple Star Astrology), Tan Lang is the sole star in my house of Self. This star, which represents xxx, forms an equilateral triangle with that star Qi Sha and Po Jun on the square chart and constitutes a Sha Po Lang pattern. The pattern indicates a kind of turbulence and change, a life of wandering with ups and downs and it tells a lot about my life. After my ill-fated youth, I started from scratch and traveled around the world with exhibitions that I participated. Like a flaneur, I wandered around ruins, nature, and temples with every type of film camera obliviously. Thus, I founded the Hall of Illusion and claimed to be the master of the hall. Several times a day, I pondered a quote from the Diamond Sutra, “Everything with form is unreal.” In addition, I usually stayed in the darkroom developing film and enlarging those negatives overnight. However, I treasured the simplicity of the black and white world. The earthly, gaudy, garish, phony and pleasing qualities within colored photos make the images even more realistic than the real world. It is not my cup of tea, so I seldom took colored photos. In Confucian thought, the age of fifty marks the stage knowing the mandate of Heaven. I am now at my fifties and realize how ephemeral human life is. However, I am not an immortal, nor having sagelike characteristics. I just learned that the stage of stainless (the second bhūmi) and develop a pure mind that is free from doubt and defilement. However, I’m still far from the immovable state and need to practice.
In the summer of 2017, after filming the work Incarnation, I experienced a severe heart rhythm problem which almost triggered myocardial infarction and could have killed me. Consequently, I realized that death was waiting for me and the life is too short to figure out how I can liberate myself from the cycle of Birth and Death. I couldn’t comprehend how to be free from all afflictions and worries and how to avoid delusive ideas. I wept for three days and nights after being enlightened by Shakyamuni Buddha. Up to the moment, I felt ashamed that I failed to realize that the self is as insignificant as dust after these years learning and practicing Buddhism. Since then, I have visited famous temples and monasteries in my spare time, worshiping Buddha, Bodhisattvas, arhats, and all the deities and immortals. Taiwan’s temples are myriad with a enormous number of sects, including Buddhism, Taoism, Yiguandao, Catholicism, Christianity, Chinese religions of fasting, Islam& Baháʼí Faith, Confucianism, Tiandiism& Tian-De Teachings, Xiwangmu cult, Yellow Emperor Sect, Precosmic Salvationism, Liism, World Wide Ethical Society, séance cult, etc. Some people even claim that they can mediate communication between the deities or spirits of the dead with human beings, having their believer rely on themselves instead of the orthodox dharma or dogma and pay excessive respect and admiration for the mediums or objects, accumulating wealth through such an unfair means or even harassing their believer sexually. Due to Taiwan’s historical changes, social turbulence, political struggles, and ideological issues, Buddhism and Taoism are somehow mixed. However, there are few emphases on the concept of the hell. As I took photographs of Yama of each court, judges, wardens of the underworld, jailers, General Fan and Hsieh (the ghost escorts) and all sinners, I found few temples cleverly created hellish scenes that are intriguing, exaggerating, and extraordinary. However, the creations are unparalleled unique. I have been studying Western arts for decades and then I came to realize that simplicity makes the most beautiful works of art. These hellish scenes can even compete with works of Giotto di Bondone (1267-1337) and Michelangelo Di lodovico Buonarroti Simoni (1475-1564).
Jingang Temple Shimen District, founded in 1986, overlooks the beautiful North shore. Although the temple is mainly dedicated to Phra Phrom (the Thai representation of Mahabrahma), spirits of Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism can also be founded in the temple. The worshipper can go cross the Seven Star bridge to relieve bad luck, walk along the five hundred arhat statues and knock on the gong to affirm one’s Buddha nature. Furthermore, the worshipper can also prostrate themself before Asia’s largest statue of Buddha in Nirvana (the Reclining Buddha statue) and pacify the Taoist Tai Sui deity of the year. I was impressed by the Jia-Zi Tai Sui General that a pair of palms grow out of his eyes. In 1994, the biō-kong (the person taking charge of the temporal affairs of a temple) received a divine inspiration from Yama (the King of Hell) that he had to build a sacred hall in the shape of a divine dragon, with the interior designed according to the World of Ultimate Bliss and the Underworld. When the visitor walks in the dark hallway, they will see the tortured people (dioramas, of course) scrunching their faces and crying bitterly and loudly in excessive grief as the visitor triggers the mechanism. One will even find them in the midst of flesh, body liquid and blood, mutilated limbs, and rotten corpses. While each of the ten Yamas are focusing on their own duties, showing their sacred dignity that collect visitors’ attention. The Baogong Temple in Linkou District, New Taipei City exclusively features colorful depiction of hellish scenes in relief in Taiwan. With its pastel shades and cartoon-like style, the relief is both grotesque and adorable at the same time. This temple is dedicated to Bao Zhen (also known as Justice Bao) representing the incarnation of Yama. Living people who have been treated unjustly can come worshipping Bao Gong and receive exorcism. Therefore, many people come here for seeking to solve unsolved cases. In Zhongyuan Festival (the ghost festival), the temple will burn the Zhizha (paper craft) boat to ferry the ghosts to the other shore, which is the shore of enlightenment. The only giant statue of Yama in Taiwan is still in the making. The temple is surrounded by a cemetery, suitable for meditating on the loathsomeness and impurity. Nantian Temple (1971), located next to the Eight Trigram Mountains Buddha in Changhua, features the first animatronic underworld. Despite the small size, the animatronic underworld is intensely shocking. Though it’s slightly worn, the colorful dioramas are still brutally ferocious. The creator was the late venerable Dao Zhang (Taoist priest) Jing Deng-fu while the origin of animatronic deities can be traced back to the 1960s Beigang Chaotian Temple. On the contrary, the Whiteman Toothpaste Tourism Factory in Shuishang Township, Chiayi, features ten Yamas with individual booth. The place is unexpectedly clean and polished yet keeps a simple and modest tone. Then, the Dragon Pagoda of the Dragon and Tiger Pagodas at Lotus Lake in Zuoying, Kaohsiung, holds the only relief of hellish scenes made of Kochin ceramic. All the figures are vivid and life-like. If one goes further into the pagoda, they will see a relief tunnel of the thirty-three incarnations of the white-robed form of Guanyin (Avalokiteśvara) on a white lotus, with a lovely and interesting design. Another Hall of Yama is built in the 1970s next to the entrance of Dagangshan Chaofeng Temple, located in the Alian District of Kaohsiung. Visitors will also see three statues of the Three Holy Ones of the Western Pureland (Amitābha, Avalokiteśvara, Mahāsthāmaprāpta) which assemble at a lotus pond. Although the hellish scene looks somewhat antiquated, you may still find its previous charm. If one goes further, they will reach the sculptural garden of “Attaining the Bodhi Way: the Incarnation of Sakyamuni Buddha,” where the visitor can see the essence of Bhagavato’s (meaning the Blessed one, one of the common epithets for Buddha) life. When Tathāgata (another epithet for Buddha) was old, the king of Kosala wanted to avenge the arrogance of the tribe of Shakyas who had long despised him, regarding him as a son of a maiden. Although Buddha has sat in lotus position alone three times to stop the army from attacking his tribe. However, one can never reverse the cause and following karma. The prince born of a maiden was so furious that he eventually destroyed his homeland. Maudgalyāyana (one of the Buddha’s closest disciples), who is said to have had supernatural abilities that surpassed the other disciples, could not bear to see the slaughter of innocent people. Thus, he saved five hundred people of his tribe with a pātra (an eating utensil of Buddhist monks). Unfortunately, everything he did was in vain, those who were saved eventually turned into a puddle of blood. The Buddha said that the supernatural abilities cannot surpass the power of karma. The cause and effect work all the time. When Maudgalyāyana’s mother fell into the path of hungry ghost, he used his supernatural abilities to save his mother from hunger. However, all the food turned into fire before being fed to his mother. Later, the Buddha commanded the monks to put nectar and dishes in a basin on the 15th day of the seventh month in the lunar calendar for the monks from all directions to free his mother from reincarnation. In later times, the Ullambana Dharma Service, the Compassionate Samadhi Water Repentance, and the Yoga Collection for Feeding the Searing Mouths Dharma Service are rituals to eliminate karmic hindrance and to cease to worldly delusions. Through such practices, one can free the dead as well as confess their repentance.
Madou Daitian Temple is a magnificent and colorful temple in Tainan. Not only can the worshippers visit the eighteen levels of Hell but also the Heaven (it was built in 1979 and inaugurated in 1983) here. The lighting and sound effects are stunning and frightening. When walking alone in the space, one may feel like taking a Guan Luo Yin trip (a Taoist necromancy which leads people’s spirits to hell and communicate with the dead ones) to visit the underworld prison. Before arriving the first court of the underworld, the visitor will walk through the Mountain of Heart Summit, the Pure Heart Pond, the Frontier between the Living and the Dead Realms, the Soul Registry Hall, the Portico of Demons, the Center for Complementary Teaching of Canonical Books, the Citadel of Premature Death, and the Bridge of Vanity. When one arrives at the first court, they will see King Chin-guang, who is in charge of the court, using the Mirror of Retribution to show the earthly form of evil creatures and also witness the sub-hell of Pillar-Holding and Fire Bed, etc. At the second court, King Chu-jiang collates the register of sins the souls of the dead have committed to impose the punishments. Here, you will see the sub-hell of Excrement and Urine, Hungry Ghost, Burning Dance Floor, Ice, Pus and Blood, Whipping, Tongue-Raking, Sword Blade, Stomach-Piercing, Chopping, etc. Next, the dead at the third court, ruled by King Song-di, will receive the punishments including inversion tortures, face-skinning with steel and copper knife, eye-wrenching, pounding, blood-sucking, rib-piercing, roasting, tendon-taking, being eaten by maggots. The visitor can pay a visit to the Palace of Soul-Resuscitation for the Four Forms of Creatures (birth from an egg, birth from a womb, birth from moisture, and birth by transformation). King Wu-guan is in charge of the fourth court. There are sixteen sub-hells at the fourth court including Waist Chop, Tongue Removal, Boiling Pond, Mouth-stabbing, Skin-peeling, Sword Tree, Burning Wheels and Cart, Eye-shooting, etc. Next, at the fifth court, sinful souls are allowed to ascend the Tower of Hometown-Viewing to take a final look of their family. The visitor will witness sub-hells of Knee-striking, Heart-slicing, Blade Mountain, Flying Swords and Burning Stones, etc. The King of Bian City takes charge of the sixth court, which is also known as the “Great Hell of Screaming,” with sub-hells including Fire Cattle, Tiger-Biting, Kidney-Eating, Mouth-Poking, Throat-Nailing, Iron Mill, Decapitation, etc. The King of Tai-shan is in charge of the seventh court, the “Great Hell of Heat and Fire.” The sixteen sub-hells at this court include Finger-Searing, Bowel-Hauling, Stone-Bearing, Boiling Oil, Tongue-Removal and Cheek-Piercing, etc. Next, the King Du-shi is in charge of the eighth court, the “Great Hell of Intense Fire and Heat,” and the sub-hells including Fire Dogs, Molten Iron, Iron Snakes, Dismemberment, Steel Spikes, Burning-Marrow, Iron Ball, Scale, etc. The ninth court is ruled by the King Ping-deng. It is known as the biggest court, Avici Hell (the Hell of Incessant Suffering), which if the lowest level of the hell realm and the interior is gloomily and terrifyingly dark. Those who committed the most serious evil deed will be sent to the Avici Hell. Sub-hells such as Poisonous Snake, Brain-Removal, Crow-Gnawing, Raining Needles, Wasps and Scorpions are included at this court. After arriving the tenth court, ruled by the Great King of the Reincarnation Palace, one can visit the “Observatory of Life on earth” and the “eight bureaus of the Reincarnation Palace” (including the Bureau of Judicial Control, the Bureau of Good-Actions, the Bureau of Bad-Actions, the Bureau of Debts, Gratitude, and Vengeance, the Bureau of Longevity and Destiny, the Bureau of Familial Ties, the Bureau of the Reincarnated, and the Bureau of Birth). The sinful one will be sent to the Pavilion of Mengpo and made to drink the Soup of Forgetfulness to forget all past affairs. According to the sinful one’s merits of previous life, they will go across one of the six bridges (gold, silver, jade, stone, wood, bamboo) to the “Reincarnation-Wheel (Wheel on the Crimson River).” Finally, one is able to reborn in the six realms. According to the Aṣṭadaśa nāraka sutra ( the Eighteen Hells Sutra), after one passes away, they will enter an intermediate and transitional state between death and rebirth, known as antarābhava in Sanskrit, for forty-nine days. The being will be evaluated by Yama, who will decide if one should get reborn or get punished at the hell. Those who committed the Five Grave Offenses (killing one’s father, killing one’s mother, killing an Arhat, shedding the blood of a Buddha, and creating a schism within the community of Buddhist monks and nun who practice for attaining enlightenment.) will be sent to the Avici Hell and stay there eternally. Kṣitigarbha is the Lord of the Nether World, ruling the ten court of Hell. The lord will set up the “Hall of Teaching” at each court to salvage those sinful ones who still obtain few merits at the offering rituals.
Human beings live the Sahā world (sahāloka in Sanskrit, meaning “endurance of suffering,” a concept of mundane world in Mahāyāna Buddhism) where they share with other reincarnations (including beings of the hells, of the preta, and of malevolent nature spirits) with five turbidities (the Kalpa turbidity, the view turbidity, the affliction turbidity, the living beings turbidity, and the life turbidity). Those who commit the ten evil deeds (killing, stealing, adultery, lying, using immoral language, slandering, equivocating, coveting, anger, and false views) must fall into the three evil paths (animals, preta, and hell). However, how can one escape from the three realms/ twenty-eight heavens (including the six heavens of the desire realm, the eighteen heavens of the form realm, and the four heavens of the formless realm)? Worldly people who don’t have such an awareness cannot leave the cycle of the twelve nidanas (meaning causes or motivations), let alone eliminate the eighty-one afflictions (that have been produced due to misunderstanding regarding reality) and the eighty-eight illusions (including five afflictions of advanced practitioners, also known as five views: view of self, extreme view, evil view, view of attachment to views, and view of morality; and five unintelligent temptations: desire, anger, stupidity, arrogance, and doubt) of thought within the three realms and four Arya satyas (noble truths, including suffering, arising, ending, and path). They cannot realize that the essence of the five skandhas (referring to aggregates of clinging, including the matter of form, sensation, recognition, mental formation, and consciousness) , the twelve ayatana (meaning sense base, including six internal bases: eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, and mind and six external bases: visible objects, sound, odor, taste, touch, and mental objects), and the eighteen dhātavah (meaning compositional elements of human existence, including six consciousness, six faculties, and their objects) are the emptiness and the void. Furthermore, they cannot dispel the two reasons for clinging to the idea of the self and the attachment to elemental constructs and even believe in the two (false) tenets that that karma and nirvana are not real and that the ego and phenomena are real. As a consequence, they fail to develop the eleven wholesome mental factors (faith, energy, conscience, being ashamed, non-attachment, non-aggression, non-delusion, calmness, equanimity, conscientiousness, and non-injuriousness) and cease the sixteen unwholesome mental factors (desire, greed, anger, delusion, arrogance, doubt, wrong view, wrath, enmity, hypocrisy, vexation, jealousy, parsimony, deceit, flattery, harming, ambitiousness, stupidity, lacking of faith, idleness, being unrestrained, forgetting, distraction, non-discernment, ). One must bear in mind that once all our virtuous roots are discontinued, they will be trapped in the never-ending reincarnation and the suffering of infinite continuity.
Is it possible that the hell will be empty one day? If the beings in hell will become extinct while evil spirits inhabit the mundane world, the world could be considered as a pure land. If we could witness the nature of the void, then hell will exist no more.
Since ancient times, the concept of hell has been widely spread among all tribes. Aging, death, beginning, and end are the basis of nature and the core of cosmic consciousness. However, the prosperous civilization as our island is not a place where desire can be eliminated. It’s impossible to eradicate evil nature. Since fetters brought by the constitution, the state, the law, society, the military, corporations, schools, families, and groups are not less than the eighteen levels of hell, the mortals repress themselves, bury their feelings. Day after day, greed, anger, stupidity, arrogance, doubt, and resentment are stacking. However, since the six dust (visible objects, sound, odor, taste, touch, and mental objects) has not yet been extinguished, people in the mundane world are still full of delusions. The demons, devils, evil spirits, and the wondering dead exist in the wilderness, while only advanced practitioners with transcendent would attempt to make contact with the dead in the wasteland and forest. Worldly people like us trespass in Disneyland-like man-made hell. It is absurd and ridiculous that the hellish scenes cannot stop us from perpetrating evil deeds, but the horrific and cruel scenes yet satisfy our self-righteous shame.
The pandemic has been boiling over for more than a year and a half. The number of infected patients worldwide is nearly a hundred and eighty million, and the death toll has risen to four million, which is equivalent to a war crisis. I hope that we can all be compassionate, give peace to the dead, treat all sentient beings well and equally. The hell is innately empty; however, deluded and misleading thoughts would give rise to all jealousy and hatred and then manifest the hell before us. This book merely serves as a memorandum of conscience for dictators of the world’s new cold war, supporters of unrestrained warfare, dark web hackers, and those who are cunning and contemptuous and maltreat others when knowing they have problems.
June 2021,
Yao Jui-chung
同時也有2部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過88萬的網紅Fujii Kaze,也在其Youtube影片中提到,Fujii Kaze - "Kaerou" Director:Kodama Yuichi(vivision) Assistant Director:Sato Ryuken(DIAMOND SNAP) Cinemato Grapher:Okuguchi Makoto(Tsuji Office) 1...
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Baca Ini Jika Tak Pandai Bahasa Inggeris
Kepada korang yang dah pandai bahasa Inggeris boleh abaikan surat ini. Biarkan abang ajar kepada korang korang yang lain.
Semua sedia maklum bahasa Inggeris itu penting kerana banyak sekali sumber ilmu yang dapat dirujuk dalam bahasa ini.
Wikipedia yang menjadi rujukan terbesar pun paling banyak artikel ditulis dalam bahasa Inggeris. Begitu juga kalau korang berniat untuk menyelamatkan dunia, maka ‘kerja’ itu akan jadi lebih mudah bila korang pandai English. InshaAllah berjaya terutamanya jika korang expert like a crazy pig (pandai gila babi).
Nota: Gila babi bukan digunakan untuk menghina tapi untuk menujukkan rasa kagum yang teramat iaitu kagum gila babi. Harap maklum.
Berbalik pada topik utama. Dipendekkan cerita, dulu abang mayat adalah seorang Melayu yang agak malas untuk belajar bahasa Inggeris. Mungkin pada zaman itu, PM belum mewajibkan lagi pelajaran matematik dan sains dalam bahasa Inggeris. Lagipun pada masa itu belum ada internet, maka abang membuat endah tak endah dengan pentingnya BI (alasan semuanya itu).
Sehinggalah pada suatu hari, abang mayat melihat sekumpulan budak-budak Punk ketawa selepas membaca tulisan di dinding tandas terutama bila ada F word. Hal ini membuatkan abang iri hati dengan kelebihan ilmu mereka dan ditambah pula dengan ramainya pendosa dari luar negara yang datang ke Malaysia, maka abang memulakan langkah to improve my English sebagai salah satu kaedah yang lebih cepat dalam usaha menyelamatkan dunia. InshaAllah!
Bak kata pepatah:
“Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.” (Lemony Snicket)
Namun, oleh kerana abang dah lama habis sekolah dan datang dari keluarga yang kurang berkemampuan, maka abang belajar bahasa Inggeris dengan cara sendiri.
Sekarang, berkat usaha gigih, karisma, dedikasi dan integriti... err… kejap! Cerita ini bukanlah nak bercerita tentang abang yang pandai English gila babi, tapi cerita tentang bagaimana kita boleh cepat pandai dalam bahasa itu. Bila cepat tiada lagi istilah ‘hot-hot chicken shit’.
Kalau mahu belajar apa-apa bahasa, perkara pertama adalah korang kena ada kamus sendiri. Korang kena beli kamus dan bawa ke mana sahaja. Kalau boleh hafal satu kamus. Jika dulu nabi digelar ‘al-Quran bergerak’, sekarang giliran korang pula menjadi ‘kamus bergerak’. Jika ada kawan bertanya, what is inception? Terus dapat jawab, the Nolam film in the beginning blah blah...nampak tak?
Abang tahu, korang lemah BI bukan sebab bodoh tetapi korang tak tahu makna dan malas menghafal kerana dalam otak sudah ditanam ‘tak tahu English pun boleh hidup juga’ atau ‘malaikat dalam kubur tak tanya dalam bahasa Inggeris’. Bukankah dalam syurga lebih afdal cakap Arab? Arghh… malas nak cerita bab ni. Apa kata korang buang persepsi itu. Jangan jadikan itu alasan dan halangan.
Abang juga hairan kenapa pelajar dalam kelas English jarang bawa kamus. Masalah utama korang adalah tak tahu makna. Jadi, kalau tak tahu kenalah beli kamus dan hafal. Itu kunci yang pertama!
“Don't be so humble, you are not that great.” (Golda Meir)
Dah ada kamus? Sekarang pergi beli buku nota untuk mencatat perkataan yang tak faham sewaktu membaca dan sebelum tidur hafal balik perkataan baru tadi.
Jadi korang akan ada dua buku, satu adalah kamus dan satu lagi buku nota yang akan menjadi kamus peribadi kerana korang akan mencatat perkataan baru dan tak tahu makna sahaja. Lama kelamaan, buku nota itu akan menjadi tebal dan korang dah tak perlu merujuk kamus lagi.
Untuk permulaan, Pilih bahn bacaan yang mudah dahulu. Kalau boleh ambil bahan bacaan budak tadika, baca dan faham makna keseluruhan cerita. Selepas itu, baca buku budak sekolah rendah pula, seterusnya buku sekolah menengah, lirik lagu, dialog film, dan akhirnya bacalah novel Inggeris sebelum membaca tafsir al-Quran dalam bahasa Inggeris.
Abang masih ingat apabila baru berkecimpung dalam dunia internet, rasa teruja sungguh. Begitu banyak sumber ilmu yang boleh kita terokai. Buka sahaja Wikipedia bermacam-macam cerita yang boleh dibaca. Cukuplah ada wiki.. Ilmu tak bertepi.. perghhh!
Waktu tu pun baru tahu apa itu Rotten Tomatoes, siapa Maddox, imdb info dan banyak lagi istilah baru. Tetapi sebelum itu kenalah pandai English dulu!
Bila dah pandai, boleh mula berniat untuk berdakwah ke peringkat antarabangsa. Bukan setakat dari Perlis sampai ke Sabah saja perjuangan kita. Think BIG dan langkah kita akan besar tapi jika Think SMALL maka langkah pun akan small.
Contoh: Jika korang fikir habis belajar nanti cukuplah dapat bekerja makan gaji di company yang stabil, maka perjalanan hidup akan terhad kepada kerja lapan jam sehari, lima hari seminggu dan menunggu dinaikkan pangkat. Tetapi jika korang fikir mahu berbisnes, mencipta produk, menggaji pekerja, kayakan diri sendiri dan membuat sesuatu yang bermakna, maka perjalanan hidup korang akan luas tiada penghujungnya. Tapi sebelum nak mendapatkan semua ini, kenalah pandai bahasa penjajah!
“To stay around (if you dot want to go far), learn bahasa tempatan. To go futher, learn bahasa penjajah!” (Hamka Kereta Mayat)
Jadi Abang memang rajin baca Wikipedia. Sambil baca sambil buka kamus, (sekarang dah ada Google Translate lagi senang). Selepas itu abang beli akhbar The Star, komik English (sekarang banyak yang online) dan juga kitab karangan Maulana Yusof Mutakhab, hadis versi English. Baca, baca dan baca…
Dari dulu abang suka tengok movie. Selesai tengok movie, abang akan baca sinopsis atau plot cerita dalam bahasa Inggeris untuk tahu penggunaan ayat. Mana yang tak faham abang akan catat dan hafal pada waktu makan. Begitu juga dengan komik Dragonball dan GTO, walaupun dah khatam dalam bahasa Melayu, abang baca pula versi bahasa Inggeris di internet.
Bila berjalan abang akan bawa kamus, (sekarang cuma perlu download aplikasi ke dalam telefon) jika nampak tulisan yang diconteng di dinding tandas awam dalam bahasa Inggeris, abang akan buka kamus dan ketawa dalam slang English jika lawak itu bermutu tinggi.
Contoh lawak di dinding tandas;
‘A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.’ (Lana Turner)
Untuk lebih cepat pandai, abang pinjam dua buku dari perpustakaan awam iaitu versi Melayu dan Inggeris. Kedua-dua buku itu abang akan baca dan bandingkan. Antara buku yang abang buat begitu adalah How To Win Friends & Influence People tulisan Dale Carnegie, Rich Dad Poor Dad dan banyak buku popular lain.
Untuk dapat saham di dunia dan akhirat pula, abang baca buku islamik yang ada dua versi BM dan BI seperti buku tafsir dan hadis. Kedua-dua buku itu abang baca dan bandingkan. Ada juga waktunya isteri abang akan membaca taklim dalam BM dan ayah semak dalam BI.
Contoh hadis bahasa Inggeris yang dipetik dari A Selection of Hadith;
Nabi said: He is wise and shrew who takes account of himself and prepares for what is after death. And he is weak and incapable who follows his desires and yet pins high hopes on Allah’s Mercy. (Tirmidhi)
Kadang kadang abang kaji falsafah Inggeris:
“Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.” (Bill Gates)
Ada masanya apabila menonton filem, abang akan fokus pada subtitiles dan gunakan dalam kehidupan seharian. Contoh petikan dialog daripada filem Bujang Lapuk (The Three Bachelor Warriors).
Aziz : Probably, that house that you mentioned, has anyone occupied it yet?
Sudin : Which house ?
Aziz : That house, the one that you kept talking about.
Sudin : Oh, that house. It's still vacant ... if we apply for it, we'll get it.
Aziz : How many rooms, Din ?
Sudin : I saw three rooms.
Aziz : That's good. Each of us can have a room to himself. Are they large ?
Sudin : Not very. But it's long, 7 feet ... about 3 feet long and 7 feet deep.
Aziz : Quite big, huh, there's even depth..that's A GRAVE !
Woha!
Bila dah naik sheikh, ada juga abang cuba menyanyi lagu Melayu dalam Bahasa English seperti lagu;
Sekadar Di Pinggiran - Just at the Edge
Menaruh Harapan - Pinning on Hope
Kau Kunci Cintaku Di Dalam Hatimu - You are the Key to My Love in Your Heart
Takdir Dan Waktu - Fate and Time
Pada Syurga Di Wajahmu - Your Heavenly Face
Teratai Layu Di Tasik Madu - Dying Lotus in the Honey Lake
Tanya Sama Itu Hud Hud - Ask the Woodpecker
Cinta Beralih Arah - Love Turns Away
Jerat Percintaan - Love Trap
Balqis - Queen of Sheba
Rela Ku Pujuk - I'm Willing to Entice
Gemilang - Glory
Terlalu Istimewa - Too Special
Awan Nano - Nano Cloud
Terukir Di Bintang - Etched In the Stars
Bahagiamu Deritaku - Your Happiness is My Pain
Kalau masih tak faham lagi, di sini abang copy paste satu lagu yang paling abang suka nyanyi dulu.
Aci-Aci, open the door,
Nana come back at one a.m,
Don't be afraid of the owl,
Nana bring Semambu of cane.
Nana Nana, come home rush,
Aci afraid to be all alone,
There's a ghost behind the house,
Shifty eyes and a striped nose long.
Aci aci, don't be afraid,
Nana have Oh! a stunt machete,
Ghost and demons will be afraid,
See the machete, surely they desperated!
If Nana, just say so,
Then my heart is calm so-so,
If come again, ghost and demons,
Aci will beat them with a brooms!
(Lirik tibai, mintak tolong cikgu Inggeris betulkan)
Lagu lain:. suci dalam.debu.
Alkisahnya Lagu suci dalam debu popular waktu abang tingkatan satu.
Naik bas pergi sekolah driver putar lagu ni.
Abang waktu tu ada minat sorang awek pandai English bernama Adibah nor(typo nama sebenar), jadi abang translate lagu Iklim versi English dan bagi kat dia.
Tapi cinta abang ditolak. Mungkin sebab kesalahan grammar abang yang telus sangat. Ha ha
Clean in dust!
(Sila Nyanyi ikut rentak asal)
You just like a clean water
In the glass with dust
Even the dirty.... you can see
Beautiful of clean is still protect
Love is not only at eye
Love coming from heart
Let be wrong.. from they eye
Let the different can see... between us.
I hope you... still can accept
Even looking so ugly
Because the real meaning of love
Only we feel it
One day will coming
The light will appear
The door will open
We step in together
That time we can see
The light is bright
The dust be a pearl
The ugly be honor
This is not dreaming
What I sharing
But very confident
Happening
Because of love
The sea will burn
Still I swimming
Confirm!
Woha!
Selain itu, untuk menambahkan kefahaman dalam English, abang juga berpantun dengan orang-orang tua.
Contoh pantun;
The Pandan Island is far from land,
The Daik Mountain has three peak,
Though the body has rot in the sand,
The good deeds are never forget.
(grammar silap sikit sebab nak bagi belakangnya sinomim, adohai)
Terkadang abang juga ada berteka-teki dalam bahasa Inggeris;
1. Which mountain has three peaks?
2. Which island is far from land?
Sesekali, apabila berdiri seorang diri depan cermin, abang akan menari macam Michael Jackson dan menyanyi lagi ini;
You better run,
You better do what you can,
Don't wanna see no blood,
Don't be a macho man,
You wanna be tough,
Better do what you can,
So beat it,
But you wanna be bad,
Just beat it.
Bini abang cukup menyampah tengok ayah tergedik-gedik sepahkan bilik tidur dengan tarian gimnastik. Woha!
Kadang-kadang abang akan berpatriotik dalam Bahasa Inggeris;
Rukun Negara
Kepercayaan kepada Tuhan - Belief of God
Kesetiaan kepada Raja dan Negara - Loyalty to King and Country
Keluhuran Perlembagaan - The Supremacy of the Constitution
Kedaulatan Undang-Undang - The Rule of Law
Kesopanan dan Kesusilaan - Courtesy and Morality
Bila jumpa member-member berpendidikan tinggi yang bergelar pensyarah, doktor atau professor, tanpa segan silu abang akan terus bercakap dalam bahasa Inggeris dengan mereka. Begitu juga jika berurusan dengan orang Cina dan India, abang akan speaking dengan mereka. Malahan dengan kucing yang curi-curi masuk rumah pun abang akan halau dalam bahasa Inggeris. Malah sesekali bila berasmaradana dengan bini, kami speaking juga. Woha!
Dan pengalaman yang paling bernilai dalam hidup ialah ketika para pendakwah dari luar negara datang berdakwah di kampung maka abang akan menjadi pengalih bahasa untuk orang kampung yang tak tahu berbahasa Inggeris. Begitu lebih kurang…
“Alhamdulillah, Allah puts the success of human’s life in this world and the hereafter only in the perfect religion. The Perfect religion is carrying out all of the commandments of Allah following the way of Rasulullah S.A.W. All of the companions of Rasullulah have had the perfect religion in their life, It was mainly because all of them had six noble qualities with them. If we want to have the perfect religion in our life, we should follow the footsteps of those successful people by making effort to obtain and bring the six qualities into our life. If we have these six noble qualities with us, we will also be able to practice the perfect religion in our life easily…”
Alkisahnya, Pada suatu hari, ketika rancak berborak dengan kawan-kawan dalam bahasa Inggeris yang berterabur tapi janji faham, maka terciptalah satu teori baru dalam hidup abang. Kawan-kawan abang bila belajar bahasa Inggeris mereka ada target atau measurement masing-masing dalam menentukan setakat mana pengetahuan mereka dalam bahasa ini telah tercapai.
Sesetengah mereka menganggap sudah pandai berbahasa Inggeris apabila boleh berborak dengan pelancong asing. Ada pula yang merasakan mereka sudah fasih berbahasa ini apabila boleh menyanyi lagu Inggeris dan pada masa sama faham maksud tersirat. Ada yang anggap mereka sudah pandai berbahasa Inggeris apabila boleh mengarang resume sehingga diterima kerja. Selain itu, ada yang menganggap mereka sudah fluent English apabila boleh membaca novel barat tanpa merujuk kamus dan lain-lain.
Tapi abang lain, abang ada target tersendiri dalam menentukan setakat mana pengetahuan ayah dalam Bahasa Inggeris tercapai iaitu…
(bersambung...)
Dipetik dari buku Hamka keretamayat
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Okey belanja sikit lagi...
Tapi abang lain, abang ada target tersendiri dalam menentukan setakat mana pengetahuan abang dalam Bahasa Inggeris tercapai iaitu…
Abang Mesti Bermimpi Dalam Bahasa Inggeris!
Maka untuk itu.., pada suatu hari yang lain
(Sekarang baru betul betul bersambung)
Woha!
(cerita penuh kisah ini ada dalam buku Hamka keretamayat-Ngeteh dikubur ayah)
Buku ada stok.
Semusim di Syurga- kisah penduduk kuala syurga dan masalah agama.
Kisah laki bini-cerita pasangan membantu cinta dalam masa tiga hari.
Kisah anak bini- kisah anak tanya soalan pelik tapi di jawab oleh ayah dengan bergaya.
NGETEH di kubur ayah-kisah surat dari kubur kepada masyarakat kebanyakkan.
Kerana dia anak syurga:-kisah 12 parent OKU berdamai dengan takdir.
No wasap untuk order abang mayat share dekat first komen.
Don't say abang not umbrella.. ella..ella.. umbrella.. ella.. ella..
Woha!
too far away meaning 在 Pakar diari hati Facebook 的最佳貼文
Seorang Suami Menemui Sebuah Diari Arwah Isterinya Dan Hampir Pitam Selepas Membaca Kandungan Diari Tersebut Kerana Rupanya Arwah Isterinya Itu Sudah Banyak Kali...
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Apa yang nak aku tuliskan ini, jadikan lah sebagai pengajaran buat semua lelaki di luar sana yang bergelar suami. Kisah ini mungkin menyayat hati bagi yang masih ada ‘hati’.
Hari ni genap 67 hari arwah isteri aku meninggl. Dan selama 67 hari ini juga aku tak henti henti menangis di atas pemergian isteri yang paling aku sayang. Bukan aku tak redha, cuma aku rasa seperti tak lepas.
Seperti ada sesuatu yg belum selesai antara kami. Dan malam ini, aku terjaga bukan kerana tangisan baby yg minta disusukan, tapi kerana seakan terdengar dengar tangisan arwah. Allahu..aku tak kuat.
Aku dah berkahwin selama lebih kurg 3 tahun setengah dengan isteri. Kami kahwin muda. Seawal usia aku 20, dan isteri 19. Di awal perkahwinan, semuanya indah belaka. Aku sgt mencintai isteri sehingga langsung tak boleh berjauhan dengan nya.
Sampai kadang kadang bila kena oustation, aku menangis rindukan dia pada waktu malam (aku bekerja di company milik family, dan dia belajar di ipts dekat dgn rumah) . Pergi ke mana saja, aku akan bawa dia bersama. Hatta keluar isi minyak atau beli top up pun dia akan merengek nak ikut. Isteri aku mmg manja org nya dan type of overly attached wife. Tapi aku tak rimas, malah aku suka.
Kami memang sangat rapat. Tambahan pula kami bercinta lepas nikah. We explore everything together. Bila dia cuti sem, aku akan bawa dia berjalan mana dia nak pergi. Isteri aku cantik orgnya. Bukan aku puji sebab dia isteri aku, tetapi sebab semua orang pun cakap perkara sama.
Bila keluar, kalau isteri aku melaram mesti ada je mata yang duk pandang pandang. Memang aku sakit hati, tapi aku pujuk diri dengan cakap takpelah, dia milik aku skrg. Lagipun aku tahu isteri aku mmg jenis sangat tidak melayan.
Bercakap dengan lelaki pun kurang. Dulu masa nak pikat hati dia pun ambil masa berbulan baru dapat kenal. Dia seorang yang sopan, dan menutup aurat dengan sempurna.
Dari awal kahwin, sehingga hampir setahun, aku rasa sangat senang dengan arwah. Kalau boleh, aku nak ada dekat dengan dia je 24jam. Bila ada kerja luar, aku akan settlekan cepat dan berkejar nak balik rumah.
Namun bila masa berlalu, tanpa aku sedar aku makin banyak berubah. Tanpa aku sedar, arwah makan hati dalam diam. Aku makin jauh dengan dia. Aku sibuk dengan kerja luar, sehingga aku rasa seronok berada di luar berbanding di rumah bersama isteri. Kadang kadang, aku cari je apa yang boleh aku settlekan di luar rumah sebab aku bosan stay dekat rumah.
Sepanjang perkahwinan, mmg aku langsung tak pernah keluar kalau bukan bersama arwah. Apa lagi nak lepak malam malam dengan kawan lama. Sampai laa suatu masa aku join macam macam club kereta dan motor.
Makin banyak alasan aku nak jumpa kawan itu dan kawan ini. Mula mula arwah diam , lama lama dia mula merungut yang dia bosan di rumah kesorangan. Tapi aku tak peduli pun. Kadang kadang dia menangis sebab kecil hati dengan aku. Tapi setiap kali dia menangis bila bergaduh atau berkecil hati, aku tak pernah pedulikan dia. Sedar sedar dia dah tertidur dengan air mata kat pipi.
Ye, aku tahu aku suami yg jahat. Aku biasakan dia dengan layanan seperti seorang puteri, kemudian aku ragut semuanya . Dari seorang suami yang cukup lembut, aku berubah menjadi seperti seekor singa bila bergaduh.
Aku akan ignore dia. Aku akan cakap kasar kasar dengan dia. Tangan aku mula pandai sentuh badan dia (itu kalau dia yg mulakan dulu). Sampai kadang kadang aku rasa mcm jodoh aku dengan dia dah takde.
Kami kerap bertengkar. Dan kebanyakannya berpunca dari sikap dia yang terlalu kuat cemburu. Tapi itu dulu, masa dia hidup. Bila dia dah pergi, baru aku sedar. Dia bukannya cemburu buta tetapi dia mahu aku jadi suami yg soleh. Dia mahukan yg terbaik untuk dunia dan akhirat aku. Allah, berdosanya aku.
Aku mengaku, aku memang susah nak jaga mata. Bila keluar berdua, dan ada perempuan cantik yg melintas depan kami mesti mata aku akan terpesona tgk kecantikan perempuan tu. Padahal isteri aku ada kat sebelah. Dan isteri aku pun sangat cantik.
Tapi aku tak pernah sedar semua tu. Bagi aku biasa lah tu lelaki mmg suka tgk perempuan cantik. Aku tak tahu yang isteri aku sedih dengan sikap aku tu. Arwah selalu tegur. Tapi aku buat tak tahu je. Sampai satu masa arwah dah tak tegur lagi, mungkin dia dah penat dengan perkara sama. Aku memang tak tahu bersyukur. Aku tak pernah rasa cukup dgn apa yg aku adaa. Sedangkan arwah dah cukup segalanya
To be honest, aku juga sukar jaga mata dari pandang perkara haram. Kadang kadang aku terlajak layan video prno. Tapi arwah tak pernah tahu. Sampai la satu hari masa dia mengandung 3 bulan, aku kantoi. Masa tu dia sedih sgt, sampai dapat migrain dan kena admit ward sebab pre eclampsia .
Aku risau sgt pasal baby masa tu. Dan it was the last time aku tgk mende keji tu. Aku dah bersumpah pada diri sendiri yg aku takkan tonton lagi umpan syaitan tu. Aku tak tahu kenapa, isteri aku halal untuk aku datangi bila bila masa tetapi pelacur di website itu juga yg aku nak tengok. Sedangkan t
Sedangkan tbuh isteri lebih cantik dari semua tu. Aku hina. Aku memang pendosa
Mulai hari tu, aku tengok isteri rajin bangun solat malam. Aku tahu, dia mengadu kepada Allah perihal aku. Aku tahu, dia bangun untuk doakan kebaikan bagi aku. Itupun semua aku tahu lepas dia dah pergi. Lepas dia dah meninggl. Lepas dah terlewat semua nya.
Seminggu lepas dia meninggl, aku kemas luggage pakaian dia. Dan aku terjumpa satu buku tebal. Aku ingatkan buku nota study dia. Rupanya dalam tu penuh catatan diari dia dari mula kahwin dengan aku sampai la hari terakhir sebelum di admit ward untuk give birth.
Aku baca semua. Air mata aku tumpas. Akurasa masa tu aku nak pergi gali semulaa kubur arwah aku nak peluk dia, aku nak cium dia, aku nak minta maaf aku nak minta ampun. Aku banyak dosa dengan dia.
“Abang, kenapa abg tengok semua tu. Sayang kan ada kalau abg berhajat? Mungkin sayang tak mengiurkan macam pelakon pelakon dlm video lcah tu. Syg minta maaf kalau syg tak pandai layan abg, sampai abg cari kepuasan melalui cara tu.
Ya allah, kau berilah hidayah pada suami aku. Abang, semoga Allah pelihara abang dari pandangan haram ye. Moga hati dan iman abg kuat ye. Takpe, syg tolong doakan abang setiap malam dan di setiap sujud syg. ”
” Cemburunya tengok abg duk pandang pandang perempuan tu tadi. Mmg la cantik. Tapi syg dah usaha habis baik nk bagi cantik jugakk bila keluar dgn abg
Sehelai demi sehelai lembaran tu aku belek. Dari sekecil kecil hingga ke sebesar besar hal dia ceritakan semua dalam buku tu. Baru skrg aku sedar , aku kurang beri perhatian pada dia selama ni. Dan ada satu luahan dalam buku tu ingatkan aku pada satu detik masa awal kehamilan arwah.
“Abang abang! Rasaa ni baby gerakk la! Aku emmm emm je. Mata asyik duk hadap hp. Bosan dgr dia merengek, aku alih tangan letak atas perut dia. Tapi mata masih lekat di skrin telefon. Dan segala kesedihan tu dia luahkan dalam buku tu. Memang aku dengar dia menangis malam tu tapi aku tak peduli pun. Mmg aku tak pernah nak pujuk kalau dia menangis. Apatah lagi nak tanya kenapa. Allahu.. kejam nya aku. Aku tak pernah peduli apa dia rasa.
Banyak yg aku baca dalam diari arwah. Patut laa dia dapat pre eclampsia (high blood prssure during pregnancy) . Padahal umur baru setahun jagung dan ini first baby. Rupanya banyak yg dia stress dan fikir pasal aku. Selama ni tanpa aku sedar, dia byk hide semua post di fb yg nengandungi unsur tak baik atau gmbr perempuan seksi. Betapa dia nak jaga dan nak bantu aku jadi baik.
Jahatnya aku. Memang aku tak pernah ada perempuan lain. Tapi aku seksa perasaan dan emosi dia. Dari apa yg aku baca, dia seolah menjadi sgt paranoid, memikirkan apa yg aku lihat di hp berkait dengan perempuan sksi, perempuan lain, atau tidak. Aku tak salahkan dia. Ini semua salah aku. Aku tak pernah fikir perasaan dia. Aku anggap semua remeh, semua kecil. Sedangkan dia menanggung derita yg besar.
Aku ingat lagi beberapa hari sebelum dia admit ward utk bersalin. Sewaktu dia nak turun beli makanan, dia sempat bergurau. Abang, rindu laa nak dengar abang ckp “awak jalan elok2 tau. Kalau ada org kacau, jerit nama abg kuat2”. Mmg dulu aku sangat lembut dan romantik dgn dia. Tapi aku xtahu mana semua tu pergi. Bukan arwah tak pernah cakap yg dia rindu aku yang dulu. Tapi aku tak pernah peduli.
Sekarang, semua dah takde. Yang tinggal hanya kenangan. Kenangan yang tak boleh mengembalikan apa apa. Dan arwah tinggalkan aku bersama zuriat kami. Nur amsya imani. Wajah iras sangat dengan arwah. Setiap kali aku pandang wajah anak syurga ini, setiap kali tu wajah arwah terbayang di mata. Allah..macam mana aku nak lalui hari hari mendatang.
Sungguh, aku sunyi. Dan sekarang baru aku faham erti sunyi yg isteri aku cakapkan selama ni bila stay dekat rumah sorang diri. Patut laa selama ni dia tak pernah tidur, dan tunggu aku balik walaupun tengah malam. Rupanya dia tak dapat tidur bila aku takde kat sblh
Aku dah hilang segalanya. Aku dah hilang isteri solehah yg sentiasa doakan kebaikan aku. aku dah hilang isteri yg selama ni jadi penguat aku. Abang rinduu nak naik motor dengan awak, sayang.. mcm awal kahwin dulu.
Pukul 1 pagi awak ajak round taman. Abang rinduu nak gurau dengan awak. Balik laa sayangg.. abg janji abg tak keluar dengan kawan dah. Abang janji abang tak hadap hp 24jam dah. Abang janji abg xpandang perempuan lain dah. Abang janji :(.
Menangis lah air mata darah pun. Arwah takkan kembali. Aku takde apa nak pesan banyak banyak. Tapi ambil laa kisah aku sebagai pengajaran. Tolong laa ambil sebagai pengajaran. Jangan sampai semua terlambat, baru kau nak menyesal. Aku menyesal. Menyesal. Menyesal.
A husband found a diary of his late wife and almost swoon after reading his diary content because apparently his late wife has many times...
.
.
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What I want to write about, make it a lesson for all the men out there who are called husbands. This story may be heartbreaking for those who still have 'heart'.
Today is only 67 days my late wife left. And for the past 67 days I haven't stopped crying over the passing of the wife that I love most. It's not that I don't accept it, it's just that I
It seems like there is something unfinished between us. And tonight, I'm awake not because of the baby's cry that asked to be breastfeed, but because it's like hearing the cry of the late Allahu.. I'm not strong.
I've been married for more than 3 years and a half to my wife. We married young. As early as I was 20, and wife 19. At the beginning of marriage, everything was beautiful. I love my wife so much that she can't be far from her.
Until sometimes when I get oustation, I cry missing him at night (I work in the family's company, and he's studying in IPTS near home). Go anywhere, I'll take her along. Hatta comes out of oil or even buy top up he will cry to follow. My wife is really spoiled by her person and type of overly attached wife. But I'm not crazy, but I like it.
We are very close. Plus we love after marriage. We explore everything together. When he's a semester holiday, I'll take him to walk where he wants to go. My wife is beautiful. I don't praise because she's my wife, but because everyone says the same.
When it comes out, if my wife dresses up there must be eyes that are looking at. I'm really hurt, but I persuade myself by saying it's okay, he's mine now. After all, I know that my wife is very kind of not entertaining.
Talking to a man is also lacking. In the past, when he was about to catch his heart, he took months to get to know him. He's a polite person, and cover his body perfectly.
From the beginning of marriage, until almost a year, I feel so happy with the late. If possible, I would like to be close to him for 24 hours. When there's an outdoor job, I'll settle fast and chase to go home.
But when time passes by, without me realizing I change more. Without me realizing, the spirit eats the heart in silence. I'm getting far away from him. I'm busy with outdoor work, until I feel good to be out there rather than home with my wife. Sometimes, I'm just looking for something that I can settle outside the house because I'm bored staying at home.
Throughout the marriage, I will never go out if not with the deceased. What else to hang out at night with old friends. Until one time I joined like a car and motor club.
More excuses for me to meet that friend and friend. At first the late was quiet, long time ago he started complaining that he was bored at home alone. But I don't care. Sometimes she cries because she's small with me. But everytime she cries when she fights or gets discouraged, I never cared about her. Realized that he fell asleep with tears on the cheek.
Yes, I know I'm a bad husband. I used to do her with service like a princess, then I snatched all of them. From a gentle husband, I turned into a lion when fighting.
I will ignore him. I'd be rude to him. My hands are starting to touch his body (that's if he started it first). Until sometimes I feel like my partner with him is gone.
We fight a lot. And most of them are caused by his attitude that is too jealous. But that was the time he lived. When he's gone, then I'll realize. He's not jealous but he wants me to be a good husband. He wants the best for my world and my afterlife. Allah, I am sinning.
I confess, I am hard to keep my eyes open. When both of you come out, and there's a beautiful woman who passes in front of us, my eyes will be amazed by the beauty of the Even though my wife is beside me. And my wife is very beautiful too.
But I never realized all that. For me it's normal that men like to look at beautiful women. I didn't know that my wife was saddened by my attitude. The late always greets. But I just don't know. Until one time the deceased hasn't told me anymore, maybe he's tired of the same thing. I don't know how to be grateful. I have never felt enough with what I have. While the deceased is enough
To be honest, I'm also hard to keep my eyes from looking at illegal things. Sometimes I watch the video too much. But the spirit never knew. Until one day when she was pregnant for 3 months, I was caught. At that time he was so sad, until he got migraine and got admitted to the ward because of pre eclampsia.
I was so worried about the baby at that time. And it was the last time I saw that cruel thing. I swear to myself that I won't watch the devil's bait anymore. I don't know why, my wife is halal for me to come to me anytime but the prostitute on the website is also what I want to see. Whereas t
While the wife is prettier than all that. I am despicable. I am indeed a sinner
From the other day, I saw the wife awake at night prayer. I know, he complains to Allah about me. I know, he woke up to pray for me for the goodness. That's all I knew after he was gone. After he left. After all it's too late.
A week ago she left, I cleaned her clothes luggage. And I found a thick book. I thought it was his study notebook. Apparently the diary is full of notes from starting to marry me until the last day before admitted to the ward to give birth.
I read all. My tears are broken. I feel that time I want to dig back the grave of my late I want to hug him, I want to kiss him, I want to apologize. I have sinned with him.
′′ Brother, why do you look at all that. Love is there if you wish? Maybe it's a pity that you don't like the actress in the video of the crazy video I'm sorry if I don't know how to treat me, until I find satisfaction through that way.
Ya Allah, please give guidance to my husband. Brother, may Allah protect you from illegal opinion. May my heart and faith be strong okay. It's okay, dear, please pray for me every night and every kneel dear. ′′ ′′
′′ It's jealous looking at brother looking at that woman just now. It's really beautiful. But unfortunately I've tried it and it's better to make it beautiful when I'm out with
One piece by one piece I turn into the sheet. From as small to small as big as he says everything in the book. Now I'm aware, I haven't paid attention to him all this time. And there's one expression in the book that reminds me of the early moment of the late pregnancy.
′′ Brother brother! I think this is a baby! Me emmm emm je. Eyes keep on facing hp. Tired of hearing him whining, I put my hand on his stomach. But the eyes are still stuck on the phone screen. And all the sadness he expressed in the book. I heard him crying that night but I don't care. I never wanted to persuade him if he cried. What else to ask why. Allahu.. I'm so cruel. I never cared what she felt.
I read a lot in the late diary. No wonder he got pre eclampsia (high blood pressure during pregnancy). Even though it's only a year of corn and this is the first baby. Apparently he's stressed out and thought about me. All this while without me realizing it, he hid all the posts on Facebook that contain bad elements or sexy women's pictures. How much he wants to take care of and help me be good.
I am evil. I never had another woman. But I torture her feelings and emotions. From what I read, she seems to be very paranoid, thinking of what I saw on her phone related to women, other women, or not. I don't blame her. This is all my fault. I never thought about her feelings. I take everything trivial, all small. While he suffered a big suffering.
I still remember a few days before he admitted to the ward to give birth. When he wanted to go down to buy food, he had time to joke around. Brother, I miss listening to my brother say ′′ you walk well. If someone disturbs me, shout out my name loudly ". I was so soft and romantic with him. But I don't know where all that went. It's not the spirit that he misses the old me. But I never cared.
Now, everything is gone. All that is left is memories. Memories that can't bring back anything. And the spirit left me with our children. Nur Amsya Imani. The face is very similar to the spirit. Every time I look at the face of this heavenly child, every time the face of the deceased is imagined in the eyes Allah.. how am I going through the coming days.
Really, I'm quiet. And now I only understand the meaning of silence that my wife has been talking about all this while staying at home alone. No wonder he hasn't slept yet, and wait for me to come back even though it's midnight. Apparently he can't sleep when I'm not beside me
I lost everything. I have lost my solehah wife who always pray for my goodness. I've lost my wife who has been my booster all this time. I miss riding a motorbike with you, dear.. like I got married early.
At 1 am you invite me to round the park. I miss joking with you. Come back dear.. I promise I won't be with my friends anymore. I promise I won't face my phone for 24 hours. I promise that I don't look at other women anymore. I promise :(.
Crying tears of blood. The spirit will never return. I don't want to order a lot. But take my story as a teaching. Please take it as a teaching. Don't let it be late, then you regret it. I'm sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.Translated
too far away meaning 在 Fujii Kaze Youtube 的最佳貼文
Fujii Kaze - "Kaerou"
Director:Kodama Yuichi(vivision)
Assistant Director:Sato Ryuken(DIAMOND SNAP)
Cinemato Grapher:Okuguchi Makoto(Tsuji Office)
1st Camera Assistant:Shimizu Erika
DIT:Oyama Taito(progressive)
Lighiting Director:Kobayashi Kosei
1st Light Assistant:Omura Kiron
Prop Artist:Sakai Toshihide(TATEO inc)
Art Assistant:Sano Mariko(TATEO inc)
Grip:Taniguchi Takashi(OF)
Camera Car:Arai Keita(S3)
Casting:Yamauchi Tomokazu/Nishimura Kazuyuki(KOSEI)
Location Cordinator:Yamauchi Hiroshi
Stylist:Sugiyama Mayumi/Masuda Mika
Stylist Assistant:Oga Nozomi
Costume(fujii kaze):YOHJI YAMAMOTO
Hair & Maike up(fujii kaze):Takai
Hair & Maike up Assistant(fujii kaze):Morishita Haruka
Color Grading:Ishihara Yasutaka(SONY PCL)
Shooting Editor:Gorilla(vivision)
Offline Editor:Kodama Yuichi(vivision)
VFX:Mizuno Masaki/Kawasaki Kotomi(Khaki)
CGI:Takagane Koji(Khaki)
Mixer:Masutomi Kazune
Producer:Inagaki Mamoru(GEEK PICTURES)
Production Manager:Taniguchi Yuki(GEEKPICTURES)
PM Assistant:Kanazawa Satoru/Takahashi Hiroki/Takeguchi Akefumi/Oshida Keiji/Iwanaga Yasuhiro/Mimori Yosuke/Sakamoto Ryosuke(GEEK PICTURES)/Sato Yosuke(GEEK PICTURES)
CAST
Aoyama Asami
Isse
Ichizo
Kathleen
Saikatsu
Sandy K
Shibamoto Yasuyoshi
Taira Jin
Tateishi Kirara
Tanaka Jin
Daikohara Chieko
Tenkou Mayumi
Hotta Shinzo
Fujii Kaze
MASASHI
Yamaki Koharu
Yoshizawa Kazumi
Ruri
☆ 05.20(wed) release 1st ALBUM "HELP EVER HURT NEVER"(CD)
▶️ https://Fujii-Kaze.lnk.to/HEHN
1. Nan-Nan
2. Mo-Eh-Wa
3. YASASHISA
4. Cause It's Endless
5. Flavor Of Sin
6. Cho Si Noccha Te
7. Tokuni Nai
8. I'd Rather Die
9. Hey Mr.Wind
10. SAYONARA Baby
11. Kaerou
【First Edition】 ¥4,000(+tax) UMCK-7064/5
<Bonus>
・Special booklet
・HELP EVER HURT COVER <11 songs>
1. Close To You
2. Shape Of You
3. Back Stabbers
4. Alfie
5. Be Alright
6. Beat It
7. Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
8. My Eyes Adored You
9. Shake It Off
10. Stronger Than Me
11. Time After Time
【Normal Edition】 ¥3,000(+tax) UMCK-1659
【Digital】 ¥2,100(+tax)
iTunes Store: https://itunes.apple.com/jp/artist/%E8%97%A4%E4%BA%95-%E9%A2%A8/1486113150?app=itunes&at=10I3LI&ls=1
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6bDWAcdtVR3WHz2xtiIPUi
YouTube Music: https://music.youtube.com/channel/UCxjfYUXFwmjUCGHMeBri5_w
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.co.jp/artists/B0819FY3KC?ref=dm_sh_e043-549a-9e40-b221-a1efe
LINE MUSIC: https://music.line.me/artist/mi0000000011ec3db5
Official APP: http://c-rayon.com/fujiikaze/
Official site: http://fujiikaze.com/
Instagram: http://Instagram.com/fujiikaze
twitter: https://twitter.com/FujiiKaze
Go Home
Written by Fujii Kaze
Prod by Yaffle
Mixing Engineer Masahito Komori
Recording Engineer Yoshimasa Wakui / Daishi Iiba(birdie house)
Recorded at AOBADAI STUDIO / ABS RECORDING STUDIO
Mixed at ABS RECORDING STUDIO
Mastering Engineer Tsubasa Yamazaki
Mastered at EELOW
Drums Leon Yuki
Electric Bass Naoki Kobayashi
Percussion Takashi Fukuoka
1st Violin Rina Odera
2nd Violin Natsue Kameda
1st Viola Mikiyo Kikuchi
2nd Viola Reiichi Tateizumi
Cello Yuki Mizuno
Acoustic Piano Fujii Kaze
You are melting into sunset
I am fading into sunrise
If our path never cross again
Then, that is the way it is
You're turning on the lamp
I'm searching for the light
We both have nothing to fear, nothing to lose
We both have nothing at all in the first place
See you, see you again
Those boys' eyes aren't innocent anymore
Those evening bells are ringing out but can't be heard anymore
That is, that is almost like
Everything seems to be over
Far from it, We've got a long way to go, and I'll never forget...
Ah Let's forget everything and go home
Ah Let everything flow away and go home
Though that scar hurts, tho this thirst never be quenched
That doesn't matter anymore, Let's blow them all away
Let's go home with a nice breeze
Let's go home with a gentle rain
What is the use of hating each other
I'm, I'm gonna be the first one to forget
You are worried about the future
I am still attached to the past
This is our last time, I'm supposed to be a God
But still we are too much human
I looked at the world without me
From above, and I found out
It keeps on turning exactly the same as always
That made me feel easy somewhat
See you, see you again
We say farewell at the right before the highway
Leaving all the hustle-bustle behind, I walk alone
Taking, All my life was about taking
And not a bit of giving
Not knowing the meaning of this life I've lived
Ah, Let's give everything and go home
Ah, With empty hands, Let's go home
What we can give is just what we are given
Let's say thank you and be honored
I'm waiting for you, Let's go home
Let's go home where happiness never ends
What can we take with us when we leave this world
Let go of the burdens we're carrying, one by one
What is the use of hating each other
I'm, I'm gonna be the first one to forget
Ah, How am I going to live from today
too far away meaning 在 bubzbeauty Youtube 的最佳貼文
http://www.shopbubbi.com
http://www.bubzbeauty.com
Reuploaded this because YT has been a butt and not publishing my videos =( gahhh. Sorry if you've seen this already ^_^
Hey everybody,
I've been meaning to upload this video for like 3 weeks but I couldn't because orders were too crazy and then I was off to New York for Fashion Week. I've been busy catching up (and regenerating myself by sleeping harhar). I'm so sorry for disappearing so long. I missed you guys so freaking much!!! I have sooo many videos coming up including more Girl Talk episodes and hair/makeup tutorials. Bear with me yes?
For the past year, I've had a fun but busy year sampling and testing out different fibres and shapes for my brush collection. I am very proud of them and hopefully you guys will know my character enough to trust I'm not just saying they're great just for the sake of them being my own products. So far- very pleased with the feedback of the brushes.
I was asked to make a demo video and originally I planned to upload this video on my Vlog channel but you guys suggested to upload on the beauty channel instead because it's more relevant. Some of you are probably going to complain about me being 'promotey'. I put blood, sweat and tears into this brush collection so of course I want them to do well. I hope you guys don't mind this type of video. I'm still Bubz. It will mean the World to me to have you guys support me on this. You guys was the reason this started in the first place.
In this video, I will introduce the 9 brushes and demonstrate how they can be used but if you have similar brushes yourself, you can use them the exact same way. In fact, you should use your own brushes whatever way you like. As long as it works for you, there's no right or wrong.
THE GIVEAWAY
To celebrate the launch, I'm giving away TEN full sets of Bubbi Brushes. To win, simply:
1. LIKE the Bubzbeauty Official Facebook Page http://www.facebook.com/ItsBubz
2. Upload a picture that makes you smile (or inspires you) and in the caption, write why the picture makes you happy. If the picture isn't yours, remember to let me know.
3. If you are under 18, make sure you have parent's consent.
4. Deadline is 4th October 2011.
For more information of the giveaway, you can check out my website for more information yo! http://www.bubzbeauty.com
Words I mean from the bottom of my Heart
I've said thank you so many times that I worry it has lost it's meaning. What can I say guys? You have practically watched me grow up all these years and even though I don't know you all personally- I have this warm connection to you guys as a whole (insert cheese). I don't know what I have done to deserve you guys. You have stuck by me all this time and supported me through thick and thin. None of this is possible without your support, input and help and for this, I am forever grateful. Words are only surfaces of my feelings so saying Thank You 1 million times will never seem enough. You guys have taught me so much and today- you are still my biggest inspiration. No words can explain how amazing you are to me. Thank you so much for everything... Because of you all, I now believe dreams DO come true. I owe you all so much and I know I'll never be able to repay you guys back but I'm going to try my best to continue to work hard with the website and channel. Let's continue to inspire each other. Spread the love and laughter.
Take care, Bubz xx
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Check out the Bubzbeauty Official Website. I update tons of beauty, fashion and hair related articles almost daily.
http://www.bubzbeauty.com
Follow me on Twitter:
http://www.twitter.com/bubzbeauty
Subscribe to my Vlog channel:
http://www.youtube.com/bubzvlogz
Shop the Bubbi Makeup Brushes & Clothing Line:
http://shopbubbi.com
Connect with me at the Bubzbeauty Fanpage where I chill n catch up with you guys ^^
http://www.facebook.com/ItsBubz