My sister, Michelle-Ann Iking's 3% chance of conceiving naturally was a success! Here's her story:
(My apologies as I've been overwhelmed with personal matters. I've only managed to get to my desk. So finally got around posting this).
This is the story behind my sister's pregnancy struggle and how she shared her journey over her Facebook page.
Because some may have not caught her LIVE session chat with me (https://www.facebook.com/daphneiking/videos/687743128744960/) , or read her lengthy post (as it's a private page);
she's allowed me to copy and paste it over my wall, in case you need to know more about her thought process on how AND why she focused on the 3% success probability. Read on.
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Posted 10th May 2020.
FB Credit: Michelle-Ann Iking
A week ago today I celebrated becoming a mother to our second, long awaited child.
Please forgive this mother's LONG (self-indulgent) post, journalling what this significant milestone has meant for her personally, for her own fallible memory's sake as well as maybe to share one day with her son.
If all you were wondering was whether I had delivered and if mum and bub are OK, please be assured the whole KkLM family are thriving tremendously, and continue scrolling right along your Newsfeed 😁.
OUR 3% MIRACLE
All babies are miracles... and none more so than our precious Kiaen Aaryan (pronounced KEY-n AR-yen), whose name derives from Sanskrit origins meaning:
Grace of God
Spiritual
Kind
Benevolent
...words espousing the gratitude Kishore and I feel for Kiaen's arrival as our "3% miracle".
He was conceived, naturally, after 3 years of Kishore and I hoping, praying and 'endeavoring'... and only couples for whom the objective switches from pure recreation to (elusive) procreation will understand how this is less fun than it sounds ...
3 years during which time we had consensus from 3 different doctors that we, particularly I (with my advancing age etc etc) had only a 3% chance of natural conception and that our best hope for a sibling for our firstborn, Lara Anoushka, was via IVF.
Lara herself was an 'intervention baby', being one of the 20% of babies successfully conceived through the less intrusive IUI process, after a year and a half of trying naturally and already being told then my age was a debilitating factor.
We had tried another round of IUI for her sibling in 2017 when Lara was a year old. And that time we fell into the ranks of the 80% of would-be parents for whom it would be an exercise in futility... who would go home, comfort each other as best they could, while individually masking their own personal disappointment... hoping for the best, 'the next time around'...
So the improbability ratio of 97% against natural conception of our second baby, as concurred by the combined opinion of 3 medical professionals, was a very real, very daunting figure for us to have to mentally deal with.
Deep, DEEP, down in my heart however, though I had many a day of doubt... I kept a core kernel of faith that somehow, I would again experience the privilege of pregnancy, and again, have a chance at childbirth.
And so, the optimist in me would tell myself, "Well, there have to be people who fall in the 3% bucket... why shouldn't WE be part of the 3%?"
Those who know me well, understand my belief in the Law of Attraction, the philosophy of focusing your mind only on what you want to attract, not on what you don't want, and so even as Kishore and I prepared to go into significant personal debt to attempt IVF in the 2nd half of 2019, I marshalled a last ditch effort to hone in on that 3% chance of natural conception... through research coming across fertility supplements that I ordered from the US and sent to a friend in Singapore to redirect to me because the supplier would not deliver to Malaysia.
I made us as a couple take the supplements in the 3 month 'priming period' in the lead up to the IVF procedure - preconditioning our bodies for optimum results, if you will.
At the same time, I had invested in a sophisticated fertility monitor, with probes and digital sensors for daily tracking of saliva and other unmentionable fluid samples, designed to pinpoint with chemical accuracy my state of fertility on any given day.
(UPDATE: For those interested - I obtained the supplements and Ovacue Fertility Monitor from https://www.fairhavenhealth.com/. Though I had my supplies delivered to a friend in Singapore, and redirected to me here since the US site does not deliver to Malaysia, there are local distributors for these products, you will just have to research the trustworthiness of the vendors yourself...)
I had set an intention - in the 3 months of pre-IVF priming, I would consume what seemed like a pharmacy's worth of supplements, and track fertility religiously... in hopes that somehow, within the 3 month priming period, we would conceive naturally and potentially save ourselves a down payment on a new property... and this was just a projection on financial costs of IVF, not even considering the physical, emotional and mental toll it involves, with no guarantee of a baby at the end of it all...
It was a continuation of an intention embedded even with my first pregnancy, where all the big ticket baby items were consciously purchased for use by a future sibling, in gender neutral colours, in hopes that sibling would be a brother "for a balanced pair", though of course any healthy child would be a welcome blessing.
It was a very conscious determination to always skew my thoughts in service of what the end objective was. For example, when 3+year old Lara would innocently express impatience at not yet having a sibling, at one point suggesting that since we were "taking too long to give her a baby brother/sister", perhaps we should just "go buy a baby from a shop", instead of getting defensive or berating the baby that she herself was, we enlisted Lara's help to pray for her sibling... so in any place of worship, or sacred ground of any kind that we passed thereon, Lara would stop, close her eyes, bow her small head and place her tiny hands together in prayer, reciting earnestly, "Please God, please give me a baby brother or baby sister."
After months and months of watching Lara do this, in the constancy of her childlike chant, Kishore started feeling the pressure of possibly disappointing Lara if her prayer was not answered. Whereas for me, Lara's recitation of her simple wish became like a strengthening mantra, our collective intention imbued with greater power with each repetition, and the goal of a sibling kept very much in the forefront of our minds (hence our calling Lara our 'project manager' in this endeavour).
And somehow in the 2nd month of that 3 month period, a positive + sign appeared on one of the home pregnancy tests I had grown accustomed to taking - my version of the lottery tickets others keep buying in hopes of hitting the jackpot, with all the cyclical anticipation and more often than not, disappointment, that entails...
This time however I was not disappointed.
With God's Grace, (hence 'Kiaen', a variation of 'Kiaan' which means 'Grace of God'), my focus on our joining the ranks of the 3% had materialised.
It seems poetic then, that Kiaen chose to make his appearance on the 3rd May, ironically the same date that his paternal great-grandfather departed this world for the next... such that in the combined words of Kishore and his father Kai Vello Suppiah,
"The 1st generation Suppiah left on 3rd May and the 4th generation Suppiah arrived on 3rd May after 41yrs...
One leaves, another comes, the legacy lives on..."
***
KIAEN AARYAN SUPPIAH'S BIRTH STORY
On Sunday 3rd May, I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant.
The baby was, in my mind, very UN-fashionably late past his due date of 29th April, so as much as I had willed and 'manifested' the privilege of pregnancy, to say I was keen to be done with it all was an understatement.
In the weeks leading to up to my full term, I had experienced increasingly intense Braxton-Hicks 'practice contractions' - annoying for me for the discomfort involved, stressful for Kishore who was on tenterhooks with the false alarms, on constant alert for when we would actually need to leave home for the hospital.
Having become a Hypnobirthing student and advocate from my first pregnancy with Lara, and thus being equipped with
(1) a lack of fear about childbirth in general and
(2) a basic understanding of how all the sensations I would experience fit into the big picture of my body bringing our baby closer to us,
I was less stressed - content to wait for the baby to be "fully cooked" and come out whenever he was ready... though I wouldn't have minded at all if the cooking time ended sooner, rather than later.
With Lara, I had been somewhat 'forced' into an induced labour, even though she was not yet due, and that had resulted in a 5 DAY LABOUR, a Birth Story for another post, so I was not inclined to chemically induce labour, even though I was assured that for second time mothers, it would be 'much faster and easier'...
That morning, I had a hunch *maybe* that day was the day, because in contrast to previous weeks' sensations of tightening, pressure and even spasms that were concentrated in the front of my abdomen and occasionally shot through my sides and legs, I felt period - like cramping in my lower back which I had not felt before throughout the pregnancy.
It was about 8am in the morning then, and my 'surges' were still relatively mild ('surges' being Hypnobirthing - speak for 'contractions', designed to frame them with the more positive connotations needed to counteract common language in which childbirth is presented as something that is unequivocally painful and traumatic, instead of the miraculous, powerful and natural phenomenon it actually is).
I recall (masochistically?) entertaining the thought of opting NOT to have an epidural JUST TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE...
I figured this would be the last time I would be pregnant and so it would be my 'last chance' to experience 'drug free labour' which, apart from the health benefits for baby and mother, might be *interesting* in a way that people who are curious about what getting a tattoo and skydiving and bungee jumping are like, might find these *interesting*...even knowing there will be pain and risk involved...
Since I have tried tattoos and skydiving (unfortunately not being able to squeeze in bungee-jumping while my life was purely my own to risk at no dependents' possible detriment) a similar curiousity about a no-epidural labour was on my mind...
In the absence of other signs of the onset of labour (like 'bloody show' or my waters breaking), I wanted to wait until the surges were coming every few minutes before we actually left the house for the hospital, not wanting to be one of those couples who rushed in too early and had interminable waits for the next stage in unfamiliar, clinical surroundings and/or were made to go home in an anti-climatic manner.
I was even calm enough through my surges to have the presence of mind to wash and blowdry my hair, knowing if I did deliver soon I would not be allowed this luxury for a while.
Around 9am I asked Kishore to prep for Lara and himself to be dressed and breakfasted so we could head to hospital soon, while I sent messages to family members on both sides informing them 'today might be the day.'
My mother, who had briefly served as a midwife before going back into general nursing and then becoming a nursing tutor, prophetically stated that if what I was experiencing was true labour, "the baby would be out by noon".
The pace in which my surges grew closer together was surprisingly quicker than I expected; and while I asked Lara to "Hurry up with breakfast" with only a tad more urgency than we normally tell her to do, little Missy being prone to dilly-dallying at meals, I probably freaked Kishore out when about 930am onwards, I had to instinctively get on my hands and knees a couple of times, eyes closed, trying to practice the Hypnobirthing breathing techniques I had revised to help along the process of my body birthing our child into the world.
I recall him saying a bit frantically as I knelt at our front door, doubled over as he waited for Lara to complete something or other, "Lara hurry up! Can't you see Mama is in so much pain and you are taking your own sweet time??!!"
SIDETRACK: Just the night before, Lara and I had watched a TV show in which a woman gave birth with the usual histrionics accompanying pop culture depictions of labour.
Lara watched the scene, transfixed.
I told her, simply and matter-of-factly, "That's what Mama has to do to get baby brother out Lara, and that's what I had to do for you also."
In most of interactions with my daughter, I have sought to equip her to face life's situations with calmness, truthful common sense, and ideally a minimum of drama.
Those who know the dramatic diva that Lara can be will know that this is a work-in-progress, but her response to me that night showed me some of my 'teachings' were sinking in:
She looked at me unfazed, "But Mama," she said. "You won't cry and scream like that lady, right? You will be BRAVE and stay calm, right?"
#nopressure.
So as we prepped to leave for the hospital I did indeed attempt to be that role model of calm for her, asking her only for her help in keeping very quiet,
"Because Mama needs to focus on bringing baby brother out and she needs quiet to concentrate...".
As we left the house at 10.11am, I texted Kishore's sister Geetha to please prep to pick up Lara from the hospital, and was grateful Kishore had the foresight to ask our gynae to prepare a letter for Geetha to show any police roadblocks between my in-laws' home in Subang Jaya and the hospital in Bangsar, this all happening under the Movement Control Order (MCO).
To Lara's credit, in the journey over to the hospital, she - probably sensing the gravity of the situation, sat very quietly in her seat at the back, and the silence was punctuated only by my occasional deep intakes of breath and some variation of my Ohmmm-like moans when the sensations were at their height.
By the time we got to Pantai Hospital at around 10.30am, my surges were strong enough I requested a wheelchair to assist me in getting to the labour ward, as I did not trust my own legs to support me... and Kishore would have to wait until Geetha had arrived to take Lara back to my in-laws' house before he himself could go up.
I slumped in the wheelchair and was wheeled up to the labour room with my eyes closed the whole time, trying to handle my surges.
I didn't even look up to see the attendant who pushed me... but did make the effort to thank him sincerely when he handed me over, with what seemed like a palpable sense of relief on his part, to the labour ward nurses.
The nurse attending me at Pantai was calm, steady and efficient. I answered some questions and changed into my labour gown while waiting for Kishore to come up, all the while managing the increasingly intense surges with my rusty Hypnobirthing breathing techniques.
By the time Kishore joined me at around 11am (I know these timings based on the timestamps of the 'WhatsApp live feed' of messages Kishore sent to his family), I was asking the nurse on duty, "How soon can I get an epidural??" thinking what crazy woman thought she could do this without drugs???!!!
The nurse checked my cervix dilation, I saw her bloodied glove indicating my mucous plug had dislodged, and she told me, "Well you are already at 7cm (which, for the uninitiated, is 70% of the way to the 10cm dilation needed for birthing), you are really doing well, if you made it this far without any drugs, if can you try and manage without it... I suspect within 2 hours or less you will deliver your baby and since it will take about that time for the anaesthesiologist to be called, epidural to be administered and kick in... it might all be for nothing... but of course the decision is completely up to you... "
So there I was, super torn, should I risk the sensations becoming worse... or risk the epidural becoming a waste?? And of course I was trying to decide this as my labour surges were coming at me stronger and stronger...
I was in such a dilemma...because as a 'recovering approval junkie' there was also a silly element of approval-seeking involved, ("The nurse thinks I can do this without drugs... maybe I CAN do this without drugs... Yay me!") mixed with that element of curiosity I mentioned earlier ("What if I actually CAN do this without drugs... plenty of other women have done it all over the world since time immemorial.. no big deal, how bad can it be...??") so then I thought I would use the financial aspect to be the 'tiebreaker' in my decision making...
I asked the nurse how much an epidural would cost and when she replied "Around MYR1.5k", I still remember Kishore's incredulous face as I asked the question, i.e."Seriously babe, you are gonna think about money right now? If you need the epidural TAKE IT, don't worry about the money!!!"... and while we are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, thankfully RM1.5k is not a quantum that made me swing towards a decision to "better save the money"...
So in the end, I guess my curiosity won out, and I turned down the epidural "just to see what it would be like and if I had it in me" (in addition of course to avoiding the side effects of any drugs introduced into my and the baby's body).
My labour occuring in the time of coronavirus, it was protocol for me to have a COVID19 test done, so the medical staff could apply the necessary precautions. I had heard from a friend Sharon Ruba that the test procedure was uncomfortable, so when the nurse came with the test kit as I was starting another surge, I asked, "Please can I just finish this surge before I do the test?" as I really didn't think I could multitask tackling multiple uncomfortable sensations in one go.
The COVID19 test involved what felt like a looong, skinny cotton bud being inserted into one nostril... I definitely felt more than a tickle as it went in and up, being told to take deep breaths by the nurse. Then she asked me to "Try to swallow" and I felt it go into my nasal cavities where I didn't think anything could go any further, but was proven wrong when she asked me to swallow again and the swab was probed even deeper. Then she warned me there would be some slight discomfort as she prepared to collect a sample... but at that point all I could think about was:
(i) I really don't have much of a choice
(ii) please let this be over before my next surge kicks in
(iii) if all the people breaking the MCO rules knew what it feels like to do this test maybe they won't put themselves at risk of the need to perform one...
In full disclosure as I was transferred into the actual delivery room at some point after 11am, another nurse offered me 'laughing gas' to ostensibly take some of the edge off... I took the self-operated breathing nozzle passed to me but don't recall it making any difference to my sensations..so didn't use it much as it seemed pretty pointless.
I recall some measure of relief when I heard my gynae Dr. Paul entering the room, greeting Kishore and me, and telling us it was going well and it wouldn't be long now and he would see us again shortly.
From my previous labour with Lara I knew the midwives pretty much take you 90% of the way through the labour and when the Dr is called in you are really at the home stretch, so was very relieved to hear his voice though knowing he would leave and come back later meant it wasn't quite over yet.
I do remember realising when I had crossed the Thinning and Opening Phase of labour to the Birthing Phase, by the change in sensations... it is still amazing to me that as the Hypnobirthing book mentioned, having this knowledge I was instinctively able to switch breathing techniques for the next stage of labour .
Was my opting against epidural the right choice for me?
Overall? Yes.
Don't get me wrong.
I *almost* regretted the decision several times during active labour... especially when I felt my body being taken over by an overwhelming compulsion to push that did not seem conscious and was accompanied by involuntary gutteral moans where I literally just thought to myself, "I surrender, God do with me what you will..." (super dramatic I know but VERY real at the time...).
I think I experienced 3-4 such natural explusive reflexes (?), rhythmically pushing the baby down the birth path, one of which was accompanied by what felt like a swoosh of water coming out of a hose with a diameter the size of a golf ball... this was when I realised my water had finally broken...
The nurses kept instructing me to do different things, to keep breathing, to move to my side, then to move to the middle, to raise my feet... and when I didn't comply, Kishore (who was with me throughout both my labours) tried to help them by repeating the instructions prefaced with "Sayang..." but I basically ignored all the intructions because I felt I had no capacity to direct any part of my body to do anything and someone else would have to physically manoeuvre that body part themselves.
When I heard Dr. Paul's voice again and the flurry of commotion surrounding his presence, I knew the time was close... and when I heard the nurse say to Kishore, "Sir, these are your gloves, for when you cut the baby's cord", it was music to my ears...
I'm very, VERY grateful Kiaen slid out after maybe the 4th of those involuntary pushes... the wave of RELIEF when he came out so quickly... it still boggles my mind that my mother was essentially right and as his birth time was 12.02pm, it was *only* about 1.5 hours between our arrival at the hospital and his arrival into the world.
Kiaen was placed on my chest for skin to skin bonding and remained there for a considerable time.
For our short stay in the hospital he would be with us in my maternity ward number C327... another trivially serendipitous sign for me because he was born on the 3rd (May) and our wedding anniversary is 27th (July).
I was discharged the following day 4th May at about 5.30pm, after I got an all clear on COVID19 and a paediatric surgeon did a small procedure on Kiaen to address a tongue-tie that would affect his breastfeeding latch... making the entire duration of our stay about 31 hours.
I have taken the time and effort to record all this down so that whenever life's challenges threaten to get me down I can remind myself, "Ignore the 97% failure probability, focus on the 3% success probability".
Also that the human condition is miraculous and it is such a privilege to experience it.
To our son Kiaen Aaryan, thank you for coming into our lives and choosing us as your parents.
Even though Papa and I are both zombies trying to settle into a night time feeding routine with you, I look forward to spending not only all future Mother's Days, but every day, with you and your Akka...
And last but not least, to my husband Kishore...without whom none of this would be possible - we did it sayang, I love you ❤️
Photo credit: Stayhome session with Samantha Yong Photography (http://samanthayong.com/)
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⛔ LUYỆN READING NÀO ⛔
THE IMPORTANCE OF CHILDREN'S PLAY
Brick by brick, six-year-old Alice is building a magical kingdom. Imagining fairy-tale turrets and fire-breathing dragons, wicked witches and gallant heroes, she's creating an enchanting world. Although she isn't aware of it, this fantasy is helping her take her first steps towards her capacity for creativity and so it will have important repercussions in her adult life.
Minutes later, Alice has abandoned the kingdom in favour of playing schools with her younger brother. When she bosses him around as his 'teacher', she's practising how to regulate her emotions through pretence. Later on, when they tire of this and settle down with a board game, she's learning about the need to follow rules and take turns with a partner.
'Play in all its rich variety is one of the highest achievements of the human species,' says Dr David Whitebread from the Faculty of Education at the University of Cambridge, UK. 'It underpins how we develop as intellectual, problem-solving adults and is crucial to our success as a highly adaptable species.'
Recognising the importance of play is not new: over two millennia ago, the Greek philosopher Plato extolled its virtues as a means of developing skills for adult life, and ideas about play-based learning have been developing since the 19th century.
But we live in changing times, and Whitebread is mindful of a worldwide decline in play, pointing out that over half the people in the world now live in cities. 'The opportunities for free play, which I experienced almost every day of my childhood, are becoming increasingly scarce,' he says. Outdoor play is curtailed by perceptions of risk to do with traffic, as well as parents' increased wish to protect their children from being the victims of crime, and by the emphasis on 'earlier is better' which is leading to greater competition in academic learning and schools.
International bodies like the United Nations and the European Union have begun to develop policies concerned with children's right to play, and to consider implications for leisure facilities and educational programmes. But what they often lack is the evidence to base policies on.
'The type of play we are interested in is child-initiated, spontaneous and unpredictable- but, as soon as you ask a five-year-old "to play", then you as the researcher have intervened,' explains Dr Sara Baker. 'And we want to know what the long-term impact of play is. It's a real challenge.'
Dr Jenny Gibson agrees, pointing out that although some of the steps in the puzzle of how and why play is important have been looked at, there is very little data on the impact it has on the child's later life.
Now, thanks to the university's new Centre for Research on Play in Education, Development and Learning (PEDAL), Whitebread, Baker, Gibson and a team of researchers hope to provide evidence on the role played by play in how a child develops.
'A strong possibility is that play supports the early development of children's self-control,' explains Baker. 'This is our ability to develop awareness of our own thinking processes - it influences how effectively we go about undertaking challenging activities.'
In a study carried out by Baker with toddlers and young pre-schoolers, she found that children with greater self-control solved problems more quickly when exploring an unfamiliar set-up requiring scientific reasoning. 'This sort of evidence makes us think that giving children the chance to play will make them more successful problem-solvers in the long run.'
If playful experiences do facilitate this aspect of development, say the researchers, it could be extremely significant for educational practices, because the ability to self-regulate has been shown to be a key predictor of academic performance.
Gibson adds: 'Playful behaviour is also an important indicator of healthy social and emotional development. In my previous research, I investigated how observing children at play can�give us important clues about their well-being and can even be useful in the diagnosis of neurodevelopmental disorders like autism.'
Whitebread's recent research has involved developing a play-based approach to supporting children's writing. 'Many primary school children find writing difficult, but we showed in a previous study that a playful stimulus was far more effective than an instructional one.' Children wrote longer and better-structured stories when they first played with dolls representing characters in the story. In the latest study, children first created their story with Lego*, with similar results. 'Many teachers commented that they had always previously had children saying they didn't know what to write about. With the Lego building, however, not a single child said this through the whole year of the project.'
Whitebread, who directs PEDAL, trained as a primary school teacher in the early 1970s, when, as he describes, 'the teaching of young children was largely a quiet backwater, untroubled by any serious intellectual debate or controversy.' Now, the landscape is very different, with hotly debated topics such as school starting age.
'Somehow the importance of play has been lost in recent decades. It's regarded as something trivial, or even as something negative that contrasts with "work". Let's not lose sight of its benefits, and the fundamental contributions it makes to human achievements in the arts, sciences and technology. Let's make sure children have a rich diet of play experiences.'
⛔ CÂU HỎI:
Do the following statements agree with the information given in Reading Passage 1?
In boxes 9-13 on your answer sheet, write
TRUE if the statement agrees with the information
FALSE if the statement contradicts the information
NOT GIVEN if there is no information on this
1. Children with good self-control are known to be likely to do well at school later on.
2. The way a child plays may provide information about possible medical problems.
3. Playing with dolls was found to benefit girls’ writing more than boys’ writing.
4. Children had problems thinking up ideas when they first created the story with Lego.
5. People nowadays regard children’s play as less significant than they did in the past.
(Trích Cam 14)
⛔ HIGHLIGHT TỪ VỰNG
Possibility (n): Khả năng
Self-control (n): Tự kiểm soát
Toddler (n): Trẻ mới biết đi
Pre-schooler (n): Trẻ nhỏ tuổi
Unfamiliar (adj): Không quen thuộc
Facilitate (v): Tạo điều kiện cho
Diagnosis (n): Chẩn đoán
Autism (n): Tự kỷ
Approach (n): Phương pháp
Stimulus (n): Sự kích thích
Serious (adj): Nghiêm túc
Debate (v): Tranh luận
Trivial (adj): Tầm thường
Fundamental (adj): Cơ bản
Contribution (n): Sự đóng góp
Các bạn làm đề nhé, cô chia sẻ đáp án dưới cmt nha!
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7 กฎเพื่อชีวิตที่งอกงาม
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หนังสือเล่มเล็กของดีพัค โชปราที่มีชื่อว่า "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success" นับเป็นบทสรุปที่เข้มข้นและเรียบง่ายในการดำเนินชีวิตสู่ "ความสำเร็จ"
เริ่มจากนิยามของ "ความสำเร็จ" โชปราให้คำจำกัดความว่า (1) มันคือสภาวะของการมีความสุขที่เพิ่มพูนขึ้นอย่างต่อเนื่อง และ (2) การตระหนักรู้ได้ถึงความเจริญก้าวหน้าของเป้าหมายอันมีค่าของตนเองอยู่ในทุกๆ ขณะ (3) คือความสามารถในการเติมเต็มความปรารถนาของคุณได้อย่างง่ายดาย (4) ความสามารถในการสรรค์สร้างความมั่งคั่งอุดมสมบูรณ์ (5) มีสุขภาพดี (6) เต็มไปพลังและความกระตือรือร้นในชีวิต (7) มีความสัมพันธ์ที่ดี (8) มีอิสระในการสรรค์สร้างสิ่งต่างๆ (9) มีความมั่นคงทางอารมณ์ (10) รู้สึกดีกับชีวิตและสงบสุขภายในใจ
คราวนี้ เราจะ "สำเร็จ" ตามนิยามนี้ได้อย่างไร
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:: 1) กฎแห่งความเป็นหนึ่งเดียว ::
หันกลับเข้าหา "ภายใน" ไม่มุ่งยึดวัตถุ "ภายนอก"
การยึดถือวัตถุ ต้องการการยอมรับจากคนอื่น คาดหวังการตอบรับจากคนอื่น ต้องการควบคุมสิ่งต่างๆ สิ่งเหล่านี้มีพื้นฐานมาจากความกลัว
เราแสดงบทบาทหรือสวมหน้ากากเพื่อต้องการการยอมรับ แต่ถ้าเรามีความมั่นคงภายในย่อมไม่หวั่นไหวต่อคำวิจารณ์ ไม่กลัวต่อการท้าทายใดๆ ไม่รู้สึกว่าขึ้นอยู่กับความคาดหวังของใคร
วิธีฝึก: แบ่งเวลาเพื่ออยู่เฉยๆ อยู่กับความเงียบ เพื่อจะได้ยินเสียงของตัวเอง ความปรารถนาที่แท้จริงของตัวเองที่ไม่ขึ้นอยู่กับสายตาและคำตัดสินของผู้อื่น
ความเงียบทำให้หายสับสน หายเร่าร้อน สงบ เข้าใจตัวเอง อาจเริ่มจากการให้เวลาตัวเอง "อยู่เฉยๆ" วันละครึ่งชั่วโมง แล้วค่อยๆ เพิ่มเวลาขึ้น
ฝึกไม่ตัดสินสิ่งใด--ทุกการตัดสินและวิเคราะห์วิจารณ์คือการก่อกวนความสงบในจิตใจ ลองหา "พื้นที่ว่าง" ให้กับการประเมินค่าต่างๆ จะพบกับความสงบนิ่งในใจมากขึ้น ฟุ้งซ่านน้อยลง
ฝึกมีช่วงเวลาอยู่กับธรรมชาติ--นั่งเงียบๆ มองต้นไม้ สูดกลิ่นดอกไม้ จ้องมองคลื่นน้ำ จะได้รับความสุขของชั่วขณะนั้น เชื่อมโยงธรรมชาติเข้ากับโลกภายในของเรา
ทั้งสามกิจกรรมนี้เพื่อละวางจาก "มายา" ที่สายตาคนภายนอกสร้างขึ้น แล้วกลับไปสู่ "ความจริง" อันเงียบสงบภายในใจ ซึ่งเชื่อมโยงกับธรรมชาติเป็นหนึ่งเดียวกัน
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:: 2) กฎแห่งการให้ ::
ให้และรับเพื่อให้วงจรของธรรมชาติไหลต่อเนื่อง
กฎของธรรมชาติคือการไหลเวียน หากใครกักสิ่งใดไว้กับตัวแต่เพียงผู้เดียว ผู้นั้นย่อมมีสภาพเหมือนตายแล้ว ชีวิตคือการให้และรับต่อเนื่องไปเรื่อยๆ ยิ่งให้ก็ยิ่งได้ ยิ่งมอบความสุขยิ่งได้รับความสุขกลับคืนมา
วิธีฝึก: ตกลงกับตัวเองว่า เมื่อจะไปพบกับใครก็ตาม คุณจะมอบบางอย่างให้กับเขา สิ่งนั้นไม่จำเป็นต้องเป็นข้าวของราคาแพง แต่อาจเป็นดอกไม้สักดอก คำอวยพร คำชื่นชม กำลังใจ หรืออ้อมกอดก็ได้
อ้าแขนออกรับของขวัญจากชีวิต ทั้งจากธรรมชาติและผู้คนรอบตัว แสงแดด เสียงนกร้อง ใบไม้ผลิใหม่ คำชื่นชม รอยยิ้ม เสียงหัวเราะ กำลังใจ และรู้สึกขอบคุณที่ได้รับสิ่งเหล่านี้
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:: 3) กฎแห่งกรรม ::
สิ่งที่ทำจะก่อพลังงานที่ย้อนกลับมาหาเรา
ลองถามตัวเองก่อนทำอะไรก็ตามด้วยคำถามง่ายๆ สองคำถาม หนึ่ง-"อะไรคือผลที่จะตามมาของการเลือกกระทำสิ่งนี้" สอง-"ทางเลือกที่ฉันจะตัดสินใจนี้จะนำความสุขมาให้ตัวฉันเองและคนรอบข้างหรือไม่"
ตัดสินใจอย่างมีสติ พุ่งความสนใจไปที่ร่างกายตัวเอง หากร่างกายบ่งบอกถึงความอุ่นใจก็แปลว่าเป็นทางเลือกที่ถูกต้อง แต่ถ้าไม่สบายกายไม่สบายใจก็ไม่น่าจะเป็นทางเลือกที่ดี
หากทำกรรมซึ่งนำมาซึ่งผลร้ายไปแล้ว สิ่งที่เราทำได้คือเปลี่ยนผลของกรรมให้เป็นประสบการณ์ที่น่าพึงปรารถนามากขึ้น โดยถามตัวเองว่า "ฉันสามารถเรียนรู้อะไรจากประสบการณ์ครั้งนี้ได้บ้าง ทำไมจึงเกิดสิ่งนี้ขึ้น อะไรคือสิ่งที่ชีวิตกำลังสอนเราอยู่ และฉันสามารถทำให้ประสบการณ์นี้มีประโยชน์ต่อคนอื่นได้ยังไงบ้าง"
"กรรม" เกิดขึ้นและดำเนินไปเพื่อให้เราเติบโต รวมถึงทำให้คนที่อยู่รอบข้างเราเติบโตทางจิตวิญญาณขึ้นด้วยเช่นกัน เช่นนี้แล้ว ผลของกรรม-หากมองเห็นประโยชน์-ย่อมนำมาซึ่งความสุขและความสำเร็จ
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:: 4) กฎแห่งการพยายามให้น้อยที่สุด ::
กลมกลืน ไม่ฝืนธรรมชาติ แค่เป็นไป
ต้นหญ้าไม่ได้พยายามเติบโต มันเพียงงอกงาม ดอกไม้ไม่พยายามจะบาน มันเพียงเป็นไป
พลังส่วนใหญ่ของเราถูกใช้ไปกับการให้ความสำคัญกับตัวเอง ปกป้องตัวเอง บังคับควบคุมให้ทุกสิ่งไปในแนวทางของฉัน
สามสิ่งที่ทำได้คือ หนึ่ง-ยอมรับ ฝึกได้ด้วยการบอกตัวเองว่า "วันนี้ฉันจะยอมรับผู้คน สถานการณ์ สิ่งแวดล้อม และเหตุการณ์ต่างๆ อย่างที่มันปรากฏขึ้น ฉันตระหนักรู้ว่าช่วงเวลาขณะนี้มันเป็นอย่างที่มันต้องเป็น หากมีสิ่งไม่ถูกใจก็เพราะมันเป็นผลจากการเลือกของฉันในอดีต"
การยอมรับไม่ได้หมายความว่าจะไม่แก้ไข แต่การยอมรับคือการไม่เสียพลังไปกับการบ่น ฝืน พยายามโบยตีตัวเอง หากคือการทำความเข้าใจ ขณะเดียวกันก็ปรารถนาที่จะให้สิ่งที่เป็นอยู่ดีขึ้นได้ และลงมือทำให้ดีขึ้นได้
สอง-รับผิดชอบ ไม่กล่าวโทษสิ่งอื่น คนอื่น รวมถึงตัวเอง แต่ยื่นมือเข้าไปรับผิดชอบ มีปฏิกิริยาที่สร้างสรรค์ในเหตุการณ์นั้นๆ หาหนทางสร้างสิ่งใหม่ เป็น "ผู้กระทำ" มิใช่ "ผู้ถูกกระทำ"
สาม-พยายามให้น้อยที่สุด คือไม่ปกป้องความคิดใดๆ ของตนเอง คนส่วนใหญ่ใช้เวลาถึง 99 เปอร์เซ็นต์ไปกับการปกป้องตนเอง ถ้าเราละทิ้งเสียได้ ก็จะได้พลังมาสร้างสรรค์สิ่งใหม่มากขึ้นมหาศาล การปกป้องย่อมพบแรงต้าน แต่การเปิดกว้างยอมรับทุกคำพูดและความคิดเห็นย่อมทำให้พบโอกาสและไอเดียใหม่ๆ แค่ยึดตัวตนให้น้อยลง ไม่ฝืน ทำให้ดีที่สุดในสถานการณ์นั้น วันหนึ่งดอกไม้ก็จะงอกงามไปตามธรรมชาติ ไม่ต้องเร่งเร้าหรือพยายามปกป้องตัวเองขนาดนั้น
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:: 5) กฎแห่งความมุ่งมั่นและความปรารถนา ::
สองสิ่งนี้คือพลังที่จะนำไปสู่ความสำเร็จ
อะไรก็ตามที่เราให้ความสนใจ มันจะเติบโตแข็งแรงขึ้นในชีวิตของคุณ อะไรที่คุณไม่ให้ความสนใจ มันจะอ่อนกำลัง สลายตัว และหายไปจากชีวิต
ความมุ่งมั่นที่เกิดจากความสนใจด้วยตัวเองมีพลังมหาศาล มันจะจัดการสิ่งต่างๆ ให้เกิดขึ้นจนได้ ไม่ว่ายากหรือซับซ้อนแค่ไหนก็ตาม
"ความปรารถนา" นั้นอ่อนแอ เพราะมันมองไปที่ผล แต่ "ความมุ่งมั่น" ไม่สนใจผลลัพธ์ ขอแค่ได้ทำอย่างเต็มที่ ไม่สนอนาคตมากเท่าปัจจุบัน เมื่อไม่ยึดติด ไม่กังวล ไม่หิวกระหาย ก็จะสงบเย็น มั่นคง และมุ่งหน้าสู่เป้าหมายได้แบบไม่พะรุงพะรัง
ทำในส่วนที่ทำได้ให้ดีที่สุด ที่เหลือก็ไม่ยึดติด ปล่อยให้ทุกสิ่งทุกอย่างจัดสรรไปตามแต่ที่มันจะเป็น
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:: 6) กฎแห่งการปล่อยวาง ::
ปราศจากการปล่อยวาง เราจะเป็นนักโทษ
หากไม่ปล่อยวางเลย เราจะติดอยู่กับถ้อยคำของผู้คำ วิตกกังวลกับรายละเอียดเล็กๆ น้อยๆ เคร่งเครียด
การไขว่คว้าหาความมั่นคงแน่นอนเป็นภาวะยึดติดกับสิ่งที่ "รู้อยู่แล้ว" หากวางนิสัยนี้ได้ เราจะเปิดตัวเองออกสู่สิ่งที่ "ยังไม่เคยรู้" ซึ่งกว้างขวางและเต็มไปด้วยความเป็นไปได้ใหม่ๆ
วิธีฝึก: ไม่ฝืน เฝ้ามองความไม่แน่นอนนั้น ดูว่ามันจะคลี่คลายไปสู่อะไร เมื่อไม่คาดหวังว่ามันจะ "ต้องเป็น" แบบใด ผลลัพธ์ออกมาเป็นแบบใดก็ล้วนแล้วแต่ยอมรับได้ทั้งสิ้น
ฝึกใจเช่นนี้บ่อยๆ เราจะเป็นผู้ที่สงบนิ่งในทุกสถานการณ์ ยอมรับสิ่งที่เกิดขึ้น และก้าวเดินสู่ความอัศจรรย์ของชีวิตที่เปิดกว้างและไม่มีทางรู้ล่วงหน้า
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:: 7) กฎแห่งเป้าหมายในชีวิต
หาสิ่งที่เราทำได้ดี ทำให้สิ่งนั้นเต็มที่
มีบางอย่างที่คุณทำได้ดีกว่าคนอื่น ค้นหา ใช้เวลา และเชื่อมั่นในสิ่งนั้น ทำให้ดีขึ้นเรื่อยๆ ถามตัวเองว่าจะใช้ศักยภาพนี้เพื่อเป็นประโยชน์ต่อเพื่อนมนุษย์ได้อย่างไร สิ่งนี้จะนำมาซึ่งความมั่งคั่งทั้งในแง่จิตวิญญาณและรายได้
ใช้ความสามารถของเราเพื่อประโยชน์ของคนอื่น เราก็มีความสุข เขาก็มีความสุข สู่ภาวะของการผลัดกันให้และรับ
ทำเต็มที่อย่างมุ่งมั่น ทำด้วยใจที่ปล่อยวาง พยายามให้น้อย ไม่ฝืน เลือกทำแต่กรรมที่เป็นประโยชน์ต่อตัวเองและคนอื่น มีจิตใจที่อยากให้อยู่เสมอ ไม่เผลอไปยึดติดกับสิ่งภายนอก แต่หมั่นสื่อสารกับตัวเอง เข้าใจตัวเอง ให้เวลาเงียบสงบกับตัวเอง
เหล่านี้คือหลักปฏิบัติเล็กๆ น้อยๆ ที่จะนำพาเราไปสู่ชีวิตที่งอกงามและงดงามทั้งต่อตัวเองและคนอื่นได้
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ขอบคุณพี่องุ่น-นันท์ วิทยดำรง ผู้แปลหนังสือเล่มนี้ที่มอบหนังสือที่มีคุณค่าให้อ่านและนำมาปรับใช้ในชีวิตครับ (สนพ.nant book)
ภาพดอกไม้ฝีมือ Vincent van Gogh
***กด like กดติดตาม หรือ กด see first เพจนี้กันไว้ได้นะครับ จะนำสาระความรู้ดีๆ มาฝากอย่างสม่ำเสมอครับ***
7 rules for life that flourish
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A small book of cuddle Kchopra titled "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success It is an intense and simple conclusion to live to" success
Start with the definition of "success" to define (1) it is the condition of happiness that increases and (2) realization of the thrive of your own precious goals. In every moment (3) is the ability to fulfill your desires with ease (4) the ability to create wealth, (5) healthy (6) full power. And enthusiasm in life (7) have good relationships (8) have freedom to create things (9) emotional stability (10) feel good about life and peaceful. In my heart.
How can we "succeed" this definition?
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:: 1) The law of oneness ::
Turn around to " inside " not focus on " outside " objects.
Holding on to objects requires acceptance from others. Expect response from others, want to control things. These are based on fear.
We act a role or wear masks to want acceptance. But if we have internal stability, we will not be shaken by criticism, not afraid of any challenge. Don't feel like it depends on anyone's
How to practice: to stay still in silence, to hear your own voice, true desires that does not depend on the eyes and judgments of others.
Silence makes me feel confused. I understand yourself. It may start by giving yourself a half an hour of time " a day. Slowly increasing time.
Practice not judging -- Every judgement and criticism is harassing peace in the mind. Try to find "space" to find more and more calm in mind.
Practice having a moment with nature -- Sit quietly, look at the trees, smell the flowers, stare at the waves, the happiness of the moment. It will be connected
These three activities are to drop from " Maya " that the eyes of the outside created and return to the " truth " within the heart which is connected to nature.
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:: 2) The law of giving ::
Give and receive so that the cycle of nature flow continuously.
The law of nature is to flow. If anyone keeps anything with himself, he is dead. Life is to give and receive continuously. The more you give, the more you give, the more happiness, the more you receive.
How to practice: agree with yourself that when you meet with someone, you will give him something. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it may be a flower, blessing, appreciation, encouragement or a hug.
Open arms, receive gifts from life, both nature and people around the sunlight, birds, new leaves, appreciation, laughter, encouragement, and grateful to receive these.
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:: 3) The law of karma ::
What I do will come back to us.
Ask yourself before doing anything with two simple questions -" What are the consequences of choosing to do this " two -" will I decide to bring happiness to myself and those around you -"
Make a conscious decision. Interesting to your body. If the body indicates reassuring, it means it's the right choice. But if you are not comfortable, it shouldn't be a good
If you do karma, all we can do is change the result of karma into a more desirable experience by asking yourself, " what can I learn from this experience? Why is this? What is life? Teaching us and how can I make this experience useful to others "
"Karma" happens and goes on for us to grow, including people around us to grow spiritually as well. Then the result of karma - if you see the benefits - will bring happiness and success.
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:: 4) The law of trying to the least ::
Blend in, not against nature. Just going.
Grass doesn't try to grow. It just flourish. Flowers don't try to bloom. It's
Most of our power is used to focus on self-defending ourselves, forcing everything to go in my way.
Three things that I can do is one - accept practice by telling myself, " Today I will accept people, situations, and events as it appears. I realize that the moment is what it has to be if there is unliked because It's a result of my picks in the past "
Accepting doesn't mean not fix it, but accepting is not to lose power to complain. Try to hit yourself. If it is to understand, you wish to make things to be better and do better.
Two - take responsibility, don't blame others, including yourself, but take responsibility. There is a creative reaction in that event. Find a way to create new thing as " the " doer " not "
Three - try the least is not to protect their own thoughts. Most people spend up to 99 percent to protect themselves. If we can abandon, we will get more power to create more new things. Protection will find resistance. Accept every word and comment will make you find new ideas. Just hold of yourself less. Do your best in that situation. One day the flowers will flourish naturally. No need to rush or try to protect yourself like that much.
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:: 5) Law of Determination and Desire ::
These two are the power to lead to success.
Whatever our attention will grow stronger in your life. Anything you don't pay attention to will be weak and disappears from life.
Determination caused by self-interest is powerful. It will manage things. No matter how difficult or complicated it is.
" Desire " is weak because it looks at the result, but " determination " doesn't care about the result. Just do your best as much as the future as the present. When you don't worry, don't worry, you will be calm, you will be calm and head towards I'm confused.
Do what you can do your best. The rest is not attached. Let everything be allocated as it will be.
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:: 6) The law of letting go ::
Without letting go, we will be prisoners.
If you don't let go, we will be stuck with the words of those who are worried about small details.
Finding stability is definitely attached to what " already know " if you can put this habit, we will open ourselves to " unknown " which is full of new possibilities.
How to practice: Don't keep an eye on uncertainty. See what it unfold. When you don't expect it "must be" any kind of results come out. It's up to accept it.
Practice like this often. We will be calm in every situation. Accept what happens and walk into the wonders of an open life and never know in advance.
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:: 7) The law of goals in life.
Find out what we do well. Do it to the fullest.
There is something you can do better than others. Take time and believe in it. Keep doing better. Ask yourself how to use this potential to benefit human friends. This will bring wealth both spiritual and income.
Use our talents for the benefit of others. We are happy. They are happy to the condition of taking turns and receiving.
Do your best. Do it with your heart that you let go. Try less, don't choose to do karma that benefits yourself and others. Always have a heart that you want to stay. Don't accidentally stick to the outside, but communicate with yourself. Understand yourself. Give time to be quiet. With myself
These are little practices that will lead us to a beautiful and beautiful life for ourselves and others.
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Thank you brother Grape - Nonthawittai, the translator of this book for giving me a valuable book to read and apply it in life. (Sor. nant book)
Vincent van Gogh flower photo
*** Press like, press follow or see first this page. I will bring you good knowledge regularly. ***Translated
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