I’m a relatively private person. Recently, however, I find that when I open up about my experiences, it connects with people who need to hear it “from someone who’s been there.”
I’d like to open my New Year’s reflection with a personal journal entry I wrote in May 2011. Not a lot of people know that I started the past decade in a very depressed state of mind. At the start of that decade, the world I knew, the life I lived, had all unravelled. However, I found that those moments defined the strength I would need for the coming 10 years.
So, as I close that chapter of my life, I celebrate that darkness— and have renewed confidence that our souls can weather ANY storm that life brings.
So bring it on, 2020. You KNOW that I have been ready for you.
***
[Untitled.] May 2011
They say that our soul shines brightest when our world is in darkness. I do not know if I believe that, but somehow, I trust that it is only through trials of faith that we come face to face with who we really are.
I'd like to think we'd find someone so beautiful and worth emulating. I'd like to believe we'd find someone with passion, and fire, and a zest for life. I'd like to hope that person is someone who can weather the toughest storms in her life. Yet, just as often as truth is what we perceive it to be, we find that we are not the person we had hoped we'd be.
All of a sudden, the very fabric of your reality unravels before your eyes, in vivid colors- remnants of everything you held to be true and dear. It spins a great thread of vibrancy about you, that you get so caught up in the fantasy you want to believe it brings.
And then.
It suddenly turns pitch black. When the lights come back, you find that your world is a dull shade of grey. Occasionally something glimmers. Steel blue and gun metal. And you try to come near it, but the luster dulls down as soon as it comes close to your touch. You cannot believe how, in an instant, the hands that once brought color to many a soul's world cannot even bring about a single hue in her own life.
Such is a state that feels devoid of passion. For someone who has known what it felt to live with an unquenchable fire within her, to see the flame— but not feel it— is an ache that almost wishes its own death. To be devoid of drive is like being in a prison— it preserves who you are, but keeps you from being truly alive. A pang of emptiness claws inside a hollow soul, and try as you might, an impenetrable wall keeps your hands from reaching out to where you want to be. There is joy and love and laughter outside, yet the haze is so thick that you cannot see through.
That's when you pray.
You make the most complete, humbling act of surrender when you get down on your knees and pray. Not just any prayer. This is the prayer that moves mountains, the prayer that screams from the depths of your soul, the prayer that has love and life and joy and tears and sorrow and anger and forgiveness and retribution without you ever knowing which one you truly feel at a given point in this axis of time. The prayer that silences. The prayer that stills. Stills the storms that have ravaged through your life. Calms the sea that has risen way higher than you've ever experienced. Quiets the heart that longs for peace.
In the quiet moment of rediscovering what faith means, you slowly but surely regain yourself.
It doesn't happen in an instant, no. There is some house cleaning to be done. There is dust from cobwebs to be swept out of corners. There are windows that need to be opened. There are fresh rose-colored curtains that need to be hung.
And this is only the beginning.
It is a most a daunting task, but not for someone who wants to live the life she was born to live. We all have a calling. We all have something special in ourselves that make us the best we can be.
… I will get there. You’ll see.
***
[Crisel's note in 2020: I made it through, after all! 🙂 ]
Photo from 2019, by Jeff Ip. No make up on this one.
同時也有1部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過283萬的網紅bubzbeauty,也在其Youtube影片中提到,To all of my beautiful friends on Youtube, This video is made to encourage everybody out there that Happiness is closer than you think. Reading all...
「you are such a beautiful person inside and out」的推薦目錄:
- 關於you are such a beautiful person inside and out 在 Crisel Consunji - Artist / Educator Facebook 的最佳解答
- 關於you are such a beautiful person inside and out 在 Crisel Consunji - Artist / Educator Facebook 的最讚貼文
- 關於you are such a beautiful person inside and out 在 theurbanrhapsody.com Facebook 的最讚貼文
- 關於you are such a beautiful person inside and out 在 bubzbeauty Youtube 的精選貼文
you are such a beautiful person inside and out 在 Crisel Consunji - Artist / Educator Facebook 的最讚貼文
I’m a relatively private person. Recently, however, I find that when I open up about my experiences, it connects with people who need to hear it “from someone who’s been there.”
I’d like to open my New Year’s reflection with a personal journal entry I wrote in May 2011. Not a lot of people know that I started the past decade in a very depressed state of mind. At the start of that decade, the world I knew, the life I lived, had all unravelled. However, I found that those moments defined the strength I would need for the coming 10 years.
So, as I close that chapter of my life, I celebrate that darkness— and have renewed confidence that our souls can weather ANY storm that life brings.
So bring it on, 2020. You KNOW that I have been ready for you.
***
[Untitled.] May 2011
They say that our soul shines brightest when our world is in darkness. I do not know if I believe that, but somehow, I trust that it is only through trials of faith that we come face to face with who we really are.
I'd like to think we'd find someone so beautiful and worth emulating. I'd like to believe we'd find someone with passion, and fire, and a zest for life. I'd like to hope that person is someone who can weather the toughest storms in her life. Yet, just as often as truth is what we perceive it to be, we find that we are not the person we had hoped we'd be.
All of a sudden, the very fabric of your reality unravels before your eyes, in vivid colors- remnants of everything you held to be true and dear. It spins a great thread of vibrancy about you, that you get so caught up in the fantasy you want to believe it brings.
And then.
It suddenly turns pitch black. When the lights come back, you find that your world is a dull shade of grey. Occasionally something glimmers. Steel blue and gun metal. And you try to come near it, but the luster dulls down as soon as it comes close to your touch. You cannot believe how, in an instant, the hands that once brought color to many a soul's world cannot even bring about a single hue in her own life.
Such is a state that feels devoid of passion. For someone who has known what it felt to live with an unquenchable fire within her, to see the flame— but not feel it— is an ache that almost wishes its own death. To be devoid of drive is like being in a prison— it preserves who you are, but keeps you from being truly alive. A pang of emptiness claws inside a hollow soul, and try as you might, an impenetrable wall keeps your hands from reaching out to where you want to be. There is joy and love and laughter outside, yet the haze is so thick that you cannot see through.
That's when you pray.
You make the most complete, humbling act of surrender when you get down on your knees and pray. Not just any prayer. This is the prayer that moves mountains, the prayer that screams from the depths of your soul, the prayer that has love and life and joy and tears and sorrow and anger and forgiveness and retribution without you ever knowing which one you truly feel at a given point in this axis of time. The prayer that silences. The prayer that stills. Stills the storms that have ravaged through your life. Calms the sea that has risen way higher than you've ever experienced. Quiets the heart that longs for peace.
In the quiet moment of rediscovering what faith means, you slowly but surely regain yourself.
It doesn't happen in an instant, no. There is some house cleaning to be done. There is dust from cobwebs to be swept out of corners. There are windows that need to be opened. There are fresh rose-colored curtains that need to be hung.
And this is only the beginning.
It is a most a daunting task, but not for someone who wants to live the life she was born to live. We all have a calling. We all have something special in ourselves that make us the best we can be.
… I will get there. You’ll see.
***
[Crisel's note in 2020: I made it through, after all! 🙂 ]
Photo from 2019, by Jeff Ip. No make up on this one.
you are such a beautiful person inside and out 在 theurbanrhapsody.com Facebook 的最讚貼文
🔻A LITTLE SELF ACCEPTANCE FOR YOU 🔻
You / We / Us / Anyone who’s reading this :
I am not a perfect person. None of us are but we struggle to be "perfect" every single day and in the process, we abandoned what is most important - our mental health. When I was growing up, this was a taboo we used to hush about, although many are starting to accept that "Mental Health" is as important as physical health; many are still living in the denial that things as such do not exist and if it does - only God can help. Quite a typical mindset. I’ve been there and gone through it, not once or twice but multiple times.
Life gives us the number of challenges that can be quite overwhelming but there are conditions that turn this mild stress into something even deeper; if you are wondering, it does not happen overnight but it is a result from years of persecution on a person. It starts from home and slowly transits into school then it knocks on your office cubicle - maybe then it will be too late. Maybe.
If you know something reached your parameter and you are not able to handle it - get help as soon as possible. Your mind works in the worst way when your head is not straight so don’t hide what you feel behind the masks that you’ve created over the years. Hiding your demons will only cause damaging outburst so start confronting them and take control of your life. Go to a therapist and get help. Talk to your friends or family. Speak what is inside you and don’t hide it away. Don’t ever run from reality. Face it and walk out of it like a brave heart. Don’t let your fear hold you from living the best life you deserve 🌟
I would like to shoutout to @moralmeetsmural for this beautiful illustration. I am a sucker for art pieces and looking at this makes my heart filled with love. Thank you for spending your precious time creating this beautiful art for me 💕🥰✨
•
•
•
•
•
•
#writers #poems #poets #poetry #words #writerscommunity #creativity #womensday #8March #writersofinstagram #love #books #quoteoftheday #quotestagram #illustragram #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthblogger #mentalhealthisimportant #depressionhelp #depressionsupport #anxietyproblems #indianbeautyblogger @ Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
you are such a beautiful person inside and out 在 bubzbeauty Youtube 的精選貼文
To all of my beautiful friends on Youtube,
This video is made to encourage everybody out there that Happiness is closer than you think. Reading all your troubled emails and messages really inspired and moved me to make this video on being Truly Happy from the Inside out. Everybody IS on the hunt for happiness right? Everything we ever do is aimed towards being happy. Who doesn't want to be happy? It's proven that happy people live longer and healthier lives. So the question is, why are there so many miserable people on earth today? Our lifestyles are better than ever but we feel more miserable than ever.
This video took me almost 2 months to plan and in this time, I did a lot of soul searching, reading, research and writing. It's my happiest project yet and I've had the most incredible journey putting this video together. I would sleep late feeling inspired and I would be too excited to go to bed.
I really hope that this video will touch you in some way to ignite a spark within you to have hope in yourself in the World. I hope you will walk away with something from this video and keep it close to your heart forever.
The reason Youtube is so important to me is because it changed me to become a better person. I finally realize what it means when people say "The more you give, the more you receive".
It's an honour hearing you guys tell me that I've made a positive impact in your lives but you guys have no idea what you have also done for me. Thank you so much for allowing me to be in your lives. Thank you so much for inspiring me in so many ways. You teach me valuable lessons, you motivate me to go out there and persevere and you inspire me to live in the moment. Youtube has been such a wonderful journey and I wouldn't have gotten here without you all. I am forever grateful.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to make this video. It's not edited in anyway that's impressive but I hope the words were powerful enough to move you. It's my most special video yet because it means the most to me. I believe that Happiness is so much more important than how we look. Most cases, we need to deal with what's inside rather than what's outside.
If this video ignited you to smile, please share this video and spread a little hope, happiness and love today. Happiness is viral right?
I also want to say that this video was hugely inspired by these wonderful authors. Here are some of the books that I read for reference. Just encase you want to check them out for yourself.
Living Beyond your Feelings by Joyce Meyer (I also gained inspiration from her Christian podcasts)
Happy for No Reason by Marci Shimoff (This book was amazing!!!)
More Beauty less Beast by Debora M Coty
Feel Happy Now by Michael Neill
8 Rules of Happiness by Karl Moore
Music: Instrumentals by Hillsong United. The songs were "You Hold Me Now" and "From The Inside Out".
Turning to Christ has made the biggest impact in my life. I wake up everyday smiling with the best reason to be Happy. I'm nothing without Him. In my happy moments, I praise Him. In my difficult moments, I seek Him. In my quiet moments, I worship Him. In my painful moments, I trust him. In every moment, I thank Him. Praise the Lord.
"The Happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything they have" - Unknown.
Your friend, Bubz xx
_______________
Follow me on Twitter:
http://www.twitter.com/bubzbeauty
Subscribe to my Vlog channel:
http://www.youtube.com/bubzvlogz
Shop the Bubbi Makeup Brushes & Clothing Line:
http://www.shopbubbi.com
Connect with me at the Bubzbeauty Fanpage where I chill n catch up with you guys ^^
http://www.facebook.com/ItsBubz
My Instagram: itsbubz