#Night听心电图
“我从来不觉得自己聪明。可能在其他方面，还不错，但学术上并非如此。我从来不太爱上学。无论我多么努力，最好的成绩都仅是B。中学时我还请了家教，她很棒，但我的成绩并没有显著的进步。我常常因为优秀同学的读写说唱能力，而为自己感到不安。我总是觉得自己不达标，所以一直认为升大学并不适合我。
中学毕业后，我休息了一年。那期间我到东南亚去当背包客。我非常爱那一趟旅程，简直不想离开。旅程结束后，我回到老家，就决定升学主修历史，因为那样我至少可以继续学习有关亚洲的一切。
我现在快要毕业了，成绩总平均是B。我甚至被我最爱的教授提名一个学术奖。他是Arne Kislenko。他其实很严厉，要求很高。教课时从来不将讲义投影，但是他对于课堂里讲解的每一个学问，都会附加故事以做进一步分享。虽然我差一点就被他当掉，但我后来主动报读了他另外两堂课；因为我从他身上学到很多很多。
我的论文主题是“泰国1932-1945的对外政策“。他在派发回来在论文上，写了两个大字：”见我“。然后他对我说，他决定将我提名参加Dean's List Essay Award学术奖；我是他班里唯一获提名的学生。虽然我最终没有得奖，但是我根本不在乎。这个经历展示了，只要我为我热忱的项目努力，我可以达到的是什么。那是我第一次得到学术上的认可，而这个认同，来自我所认识的人当中，最聪明的那位。“
梦想不必伟大，心跳必须炙热。
“I never saw myself as a smart person. Definitely not book smart. Maybe smart in other ways. I never liked school all that much. No matter how hard I tried, I could never reach past a B. I even got a tutor in high school, and she was great, but my grades didn’t really improve. I was intimidated by how well other students could write and speak. I didn’t think I’d ever reach that level. I figured that college just wasn’t for me. After graduation I took a year off and backpacked through Southeast Asia. I loved it so much. I didn’t want to leave. When I came home I decided to major in history, because at least I could keep learning about Asia. I’m almost finished now. I made it through with about a ‘B’ average. Last term I even got nominated for an award by my favorite professor. His name is Arne Kislenko. He’s a little bit of a hard ass. He expects a lot. He doesn’t even post lecture slides. But he has stories and tidbits for everything. Even though I almost failed his class, I registered for two more because I learned so much. I wrote my final paper on Thai Foreign Policy from 1932 to 1945. He handed it back with a note that said: ‘See me.’ He told me that he was nominating me for the Dean’s List Essay Award. I was the only student he chose. I didn’t win, but I didn’t care. It showed me what I could do if I write about a subject I care about. It was the first time I’d ever been recognized for something academic, and it came from the smartest person I know."
(Toronto, Canada)
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