THE FULL-TIME MOM //
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“So what do you do?”
“Oh, I’m a full-time mom.”
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This exchange is just one of the examples that I’ve heard countless of times, and I’m sure you’ve heard something similar too. It’s totally harmless and comes naturally somehow, but the more I hear it, the more uneasy I felt about it. That was when I started to really search deep about why there’s just something not quite right about the words “full-time mom”.
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The question is, “Who is a full-time mom?” and “Who isn’t a full-time mom?”
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If a full-time mom is one who stays at home with her kids (also known as stay-at-home mom), then does it mean that a mom who goes to work is considered a...part-time mom? Then why is there no such thing as a part-time wife (one who goes to work)? Or a part-time daughter (one who studies/works away from her parents)?
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Before you start thinking if I may have something against SAHMs, or feel one is superior than the other, listen. In these 5 years of being a mom, I have been a SAHM (for one full year before Tyler turned one), WFHM before I started TWA, and FTWM after I started my businesses. I have experienced what it’s like to be all SAHM/WFHM/FTWM and I can tell you, they are all difficult in different ways.
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When I was a SAHM, I struggled with self-esteem and the horrible feeling of not contributing to the household income. When I was a WFHM, I struggled with not giving 100% focus to my child AND my work at the same time, and felt inadequate and undeserving of a job and a child because I just wasn’t giving my best either way. Now that I’m a FTWM, I struggle with being apart from my kids and missing their milestones, stressing about work when I’m with them, not being fully present when I’m supposed to be, and a thousand more.
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SAHM/WFHM/FTWM, it is all tough in different ways. But one thing’s for sure- we are all 100% moms. Full-time moms who are not taking our family off our minds for a single day in our lives. So moms, the next time you feel guilty about the decision you made for your family, please remember that you are 100% the best mom you are meant to be for your family, and you are full-time AWESOME. That’s what you are.
同時也有1部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過1,840的網紅Wendy Vaz,也在其Youtube影片中提到,Imagine your entire life as a game, what would you do to help you survive in it? Negative self talk is something that we all struggle with, yes even ...
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self-esteem examples 在 阿空 Facebook 的精選貼文
整理資料發現近兩年前去某國際研討會分享 #手天使 心得時的講稿,當時把我知道的議題面向都寫進去了。貼上來給有興趣的朋友。
[[slide page 1]]
Thank you for attending this part.
I'm from Hand Angel, a non-profit organization of Taiwan.
The title of my presentation is "As a sex worker and a sex volunteer",
since I'm both a sex worker, and also attending Hand Angel as a sex volunteer.
[[slide page 2]]
Allow me to introduce my organization more,
though you may know some from what Vincent has said in the morning.
Our main tenet is sexual rights to people with disabilities.
[[slide page 3]]
This includes not only orgasm, but also the right to control one's sexuality with autonomy and without discrimination.
People know us usually because we provide limited sexual service for servere physical or visual disabilities, including females.
Hand Angel is not a registered organization in Taiwan,
since we literally provide sexual service, which is considered against public order and morals.
However, we are still able to initiative our idea on the table
because our service are free, which means we actually do not violate any law.
[[slide page 4]]
In Taiwan, the definition of "sexual transaction" includes obscene acts in exchange for monetary,
which means it's considered transactional sex even there is no sexual intercourse.
And since transactional sex is technically illegal in Taiwan,
there's no legal way for us to charge anything by providing any service which may be considered obscenity.
This is much different in other countries.
In Japan, the law prohibiting sexual transaction only applies to intercourse between one male and one female. That's why White Hands and NOIR are able to provide paid handjob. The other reason is that they seem do not locate their service as sexual transaction. We can talk about this difference later.
And in Hong Kong, there's some way for sex workers not to be punished, which is called "one-woman brothel". So the difficulty for people with disabilities to satisfy their sexual desire would be different.
I, who has been a sex worker for years -- under the table, of course -- was invited to join Hand Angel at its very beginning.
[[slide page 5]]
People keep asking me that how a sex worker would think about a free sexual service.
But before that question, I think it's more important for us to know the difference other than money.
What's the difference between a classical transactional sex and our service?
As a sex worker, I hope my customers will come back to me more and more, as many times as they can pay.
But as a member of Hand Angel, I hope the servees would not need us anymore.
In fact, I hope they don't have to come to us at the very beginning.
The reason why people with disabilities may need sexual service, is the absence of sexual resource, the resource to fulfill one's sexual desire.
This is just like other issues of disabilities.
[[slide page 6]]
Just providing a service would not resolve the structural problem.
For example, if you give food to the poor without changing their situation, you would end up finding out that they're still poor.
Now change the "food" to "sex".
If we just give our own sex to those who barely have sexual resource, we'll end up exploiting ourselves, and their bad situation still remains.
The problem is, disabled people are considered abnormal, and they have been treated as no unnecessary needs.
But what is necessary for a person to live her own life instead of just survive?
In our issue, disabled people are usually considered asexual, and seldom sexy. That's the stigma we're going to break down.
[[slide page 7]]
There are some textures talking about disabled people in love and having sex, such as "Scarlet Road", "Sex on Wheels", and "The Sessions".
However, the narrative are usually based on ableism.
Viewers usually focus on how can the service provider "bear" to have sex with disabled people, instead of seeing the obstacles disabled people encounter.
[[slide page 8]]
A feminist has said that the relationship a disabled person has is considered depending on the compassion of the other person. People think their sexuality is disgusting and only saints are able to tolerate it.
So we can see the problem is not only physical obstacles, but also how we think about intimate relationship a disabled person deserves.
[[slide page 9]]
Does Hand Angel care about intimate issue? The answer is yes.
In our service, we provide not only sexual service. Our target is not the physical orgasm, but the infinite opportunity of their own lives.
Here are two examples.
[[slide page 10]] Little Prince
Since this servee can sense nothing below his waist, a classical handjob would be meaningless.
Fortunately, we have a BDSM queen in our team.
She thought of techniques in SM to check how pain it is to the slave, and use the same trick to check how the servee's body can feel.
I have to emphasize: that was not a medical treatment, that was about communication with each other.
They were talking about the feeling of two people, instead of the body of one person.
The whole process relies on the intimacy between the sex volunteer and the servee.
[[slide page 11]] ND
"Strolling" for him was from his room to the front door of his home.
Uh, I'm not talking about he lives in a big house.
Though using an electric wheelchair, ND's finger was not powerful enough to control the device for more than 10 minutes,
which means going out alone is not possible for him.
But after applying for our service, he trained himself to "walk" longer.
Even after our service, we were told that he kept trying to leave home and meet other friends.
Another servee has tried other entertainment such as snorkeling and paragliding after our service.
He's having a more plentiful life than before, and even than me.
[[slide page 12]]
In these cases, we can see that:
First, physical orgasm is not the only purpose of a sexual service.
Secondly, libido, or desire for sexual activity, is a strong energy for people to live.
There's a continuing question for us: People can still live without sex.
[[slide page 13]]
What's so important for disabled people to have sex?
Well, I think sex is probably not important for those who can have sex easily, but the impossibility to sex or intimacy may deny the self-esteem of a person.
Sex is an important reason for most people to make friends. So on the other hand, once a person is forced to abandon the opportunity to have sex, she (or he) might lose the energy to social activities. And that's not good for mental health.
[[slide page 14]] The 3 aspects we care about
First, physical orgasm. This is not only about sex organ, but also those come from your erogenous zone.
The problem is not only that people don't know how to interact with disabled people during sex,
but also that people do not want to know how the sex would be for people with different disabilities.
Second, intimacy. The right to have a satisfying date is also important.
Let's imagine, what if a couple of lovers want to kiss each other while seeing movie in a theater, but one of them is in wheelchair so their positions are actually separated?
Third, social integration. Many people with disabilities don't have enough opportunity to make close friends. One of the reasons is that other people usually don't know how to react with disabled people. Therefore, education is important.
[[slide page 15]] Gender Equity Education
In Taiwan, gender equity education comprises 3 parts: affective education, sex education, and gay and lesbian education.
Though I also want to introduce the situation that the conservative group is raising a proposal of referendum to forbid gay and lesbian education, but that's not the issue here so I have to skip that. I hope people who are interested in Taiwan may notice that same-sex marriage is not the only issue about gender equity.
Uh, back to disability rights movement.
As an organization which cares both gender issue and disability issue, we note that even open-minded gender activists may ignore the existence of people with disabilities.
Gender equity education is never designed or applied in the point of view of the disabled.
For example, there are some materials for teaching safe sex, but people seldom think about how a blind person should know before she (or he) masturbate or have sex.
We have a servee who once masturbated in the bathroom of his home, but couldn't clean up since not knowing where his semen reached during ejaculation, and therefore shocked his sister who later used the bathroom.
And another friend bought an artificial vagina in a sex toy store. But he didn't even know he have to erect before insertion.
[[slide page 16]] female servee
People caring about gender equity keep question us: why is there only one female servee during these 5 years after our foundation?
Well, we think the answer is complicated. But the most important one is: how difficult for a female to "confess" she has sexual desire?
We all know about "slut shaming", and those terms to humiliate females by their sexuality -- such as "bitch" and "whore".
It's difficult even for able-bodied females to state their sex experience and preference.
Then it's even more difficult for disabled females to think what she herself wants.
But before sexual activity with other people, disabled females don't even know their body well.
The only female servee we have, told us she has never seen or touched her own vagina.
So we also hosted some conferences and speeches to discuss about such situation of disabled females.
[[slide page 17]] Androcentrism
This is an important issue for us. And I think it's important for those who care about sexual health of disabled people.
Though there are some textures talking about sexual desires of disabled females. To provide sexual service or even sex education to them is barely seen.
I have to admit that, even though there are more and more female members joining us, androcentrism is still not easy to get over.
[[slide page 18]] limitations
Hand Angel provides service to those with servere physical or visual disabilities.
So here comes a frequently asked question: what about others?
The main difficulty for us is that we don't know enough about the situation of other disabilities.
Of course we know that people with other disabilities also don't have enough sexual resources,
but we ourselves do not have enough resources to share, either.
That's why we also hope other people to compose other similar organization.
Meanwhile, there are some people we cannot help because of law.
Adolescents are the ones I myself care about most,
since male teenagers have overwhelming sexual desire, and that would be hell for those with upper limb disability.
However, there are always laws prohibiting youths to have sex in every country.
[[slide page 19]]
In Taiwan, it is legal to have sexual activity after 16. No matter it's intercourse or not.
But even for an organization providing free service like us, the member who communicate with sex volunteer and the servee would be punished as a broker if the servee is younger than 18.
Actually, we do have an applier who mailed us about his desire when he was 15. What we can do is tell him to wait 3 more years.
Unfortunately, being an adult does not mean your right to sex is permitted.
[[slide page 20]]
People with intellectual disability or mental disorder are also infantilized, treated as babies or angels, and considered asexual.
The dilemma is similar to what teenagers have. Their consents are not considered valid.
That is frustrating. The law to protect them from sexual violence also tortures them.
[[slide page 21]] Acrotomophilia and devotees
While talking about disabled people in love or having sex, this is also an issue we should mention.
Some people worry about that devotees are just trying to dominate or take control of the disabled people.
This is similar to MacKinnon's dominance theory and male supremacy.
Devotees are considered to have more power in the relationship, and thus disabled people have a lack of autonomy.
I think that's a stigma, too.
The dominance theory does not deny free love. It focuses on the power issue.
Thus, the problem lies still on the absence of resources disabled people deserve.
Slanders on devotees are based on the prejudice that disabled people are never sexy,
and that denies the possibility for disabled people to have plentiful sexual activity.
The whole society shall support disabled people to have their own autonomy in their relationship.
[[slide page 22]] Difficulties
Usually, people would understand sexual desire of disabled people.
But to support it publicly is another story, especially for the organizations relying on donations.
There are some social workers and parents telling us that they want to do something to help their cases and family,
but it is still an issue which could not be spoken.
It's never been easy for us to talk about sex on the table, but it should be done.
Even for those who don't agree with the idea of sexual service, I do hope you could at least support disabled people to talk about their sex and romance.
[[slide page 23]]
This ends my report. Thank you for listening.
I'm Kong, a sex volunteer of Hand Angel from Taiwan.
self-esteem examples 在 Chui Ling Facebook 的最佳貼文
http://traffic.libsyn.com/melody/Metaphysics_20141021.mp3
Do you know that faces can be read based on Chinese characters? Isn't that interesting? Let’s take a look at ten of the most common examples.
“甲” (Armour) - Wide forehead with sharp chin. The thoughtful type. Does a lot of thinking (some useful and wise, some not). However, they normally fail when it comes to execution. They make suitable candidates for backend jobs, but not those that need them to deal with customers. They also excel in jobs that require them to provide creative ideas.
“申” (State) - Narrow forehead, wide cheeks with sharp chin. Looks like an oval shape. This is the perfect shape, and is often found in artists. A long and high nose suggests high self-esteem. Suited for forefront jobs.
Next, let's take a look at the three types of square faces:
“圆” (Round) - Round face with round nose. The social type who enjoys life and brings joy to others. However, beneath the cheerful outer appearance, hides a pessimistic character that’s mainly due to low self-esteem.
“同” (Together) - Compared to a round face, this face type is able to stand higher pressure. The sporty type. A good face type, well balanced in thought and action. Knows how to enjoy and often leads a worry-free life.
“田” (Field) - Short and wide face, square in shape. A person born with this face type will be rich and wealthy in his or her life.
In the next podcast, we will unveil the remaining five. Stay tuned!
有没有想过,脸型是可以引用中文字来形容呢?很有趣吧?现在就让我们以十个比较普遍的中文字来解读面相吧!
甲字﹣额头宽、下巴尖,属于思想型。总是可以想出天下无敌的点子,可是实行起来就比较慢半拍。这一类脸型的人适合从事后勤辅助工作,尽量避免需要面对顾客的工作。此外,也适合负责一些需要提出创意点子的工作。
申字﹣额头窄、脸颊宽、下巴尖,好像鹅蛋般,属完美脸型,多见于艺人身上。配上高鼻梁,为人有自信,适合从事前线工作。
接下来,我们要看看三个属于比较四方的脸型:
圆字 ﹣鼻型多属圆粒状,属于享受派,善于交际,总让人感觉开心。尽管外表开朗,内心却因自信不足而显得悲观。
同字 ﹣相比圆字脸,同字脸比较可以承受压力,属于运动型,是比较均衡的好脸型。思想、行动、享受都混合得很平均,一生衣碌无犹。
田字 ﹣呈四方型,脸型短且宽,属于富豪脸型。
下一次,我们会再看余下的五种中文字脸型,敬请留意咯!
self-esteem examples 在 Wendy Vaz Youtube 的最佳貼文
Imagine your entire life as a game, what would you do to help you survive in it?
Negative self talk is something that we all struggle with, yes even for a positive person like me! It took me years of positive mindset work to get to where I am today, and I decided to share my secret with you to fight these evil monsters.
I hope you enjoy this video, and be sure to subscribe for more of these in the future!
#SelfLove #Positivity #ConfidenceCoach #LifeCoach
????? ?? ????? ??????:
?? Budget Girlboss Home Office Setup - https://youtu.be/IRcmDTAuBFw
? How does a Digital Nomad Make Money in 2019 - https://youtu.be/VmPJzy7RTdo
? How I Stop Comparing Myself to Others - https://youtu.be/jh3wR6vrWiI
⭐️ How to NOT Care About What People Think of You - https://youtu.be/lwXafVAtKq8
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? Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wendyvazzy/
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WENDY VAZ is a Personal Branding and Business Coach who helps aspiring content creators build AUTHENTIC #PersonalBrand, become #BOSS content creator, and start a profitable online business.
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self-esteem examples 在 1.4 Human Relations: Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence Effects 的推薦與評價
Be able to define and explain the importance of self-esteem in your career. ... For example, Michael may have low self-esteem in general, ... ... <看更多>